Ain’t it funny how most folks always think that Memorial Day Weekend is the official start of summer when, actually, the summer season doesn’t kick off until June 20 (or 21, based onhow the summer solstice plays out)? This means that if you’re still trying to get your summer body all the way together, you’ve still got some time because (this year) summer doesn’t end until September 22.
Okay, but what do you do if you want to look oh so very right in your monokini, yet you also want to enjoy some of the best that food has to offer during this time of year, too? If that’s your personal dilemma, you’ve come to the right place. I’ve got 10 tips for how you can have a ball with food, remain healthy, and still have a snatched body in the process. Let’s do this.
1. Try Breakfast Salads in the Morning
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If you grew up hearing that breakfast is the most important meal of the day,more research is revealing that if you skip it altogether, it’s not quite as detrimental to your health as we were led to believe. Still, that doesn’t mean that ifbreakfast is your thing, it doesn’t come with some major benefits. It fuels you for the day. It boosts your metabolism. It can also lower your risks of heart disease, diabetes, and obesity. The key is to consume a breakfast that’s as healthy as possible, and two options that are pretty popular right now arebreakfast salads and breakfast toast.
Since a lot of the ingredients that go into both are full of fiber, protein, and essential nutrients, going with a meal that is light and “brunch-able” is a great way to start off your day, no doubt. Check out some easy-to-make breakfast salad recipeshere and delicious breakfast toast oneshere.
2. Make Your Own Smoothies and Popsicles
Speaking of breakfast foods, although breakfast isn’t my favorite meal, I will get down with a smoothie, preferably a homemade one. It’s definitely one of the quickest, easiest, and most convenient ways to get a lot of nutrients into your system while you’re on the go. Plus, if you’re someone who isn’t a big fan of raw fruits and veggies, by combining them into a smoothie, you can get them into your body in a way that is easier to “take in," not to mention the fact that smoothies are great for maintaining gut health and they can even help you to lose weight if that is a summertime mission of yours.
The key is to balance how much sugar you put into them (men only need nine teaspoons a day while we only need six). Oh, and if you’re “smoothie-d out” or you want to try another option, make your own popsicles or slushes. You can put fresh fruits in those as well, and they can help to keep you hydrated while giving you a healthy sweet tooth fix. Check out some summer smoothie recipeshere and DIY popsicle recipeshere.
3. Enjoy All of the “High Water” Foods
When it’s hot outside, you actually need to up your water intake in order to stay well-hydrated. Some health experts say that this means men should consume 15 ½ cups a day while women should have no less than 11 ½ of them.
If water isn’t really “your thing,” one way to still get your fluids in is to eat foods that have a high amount of water content in them. Some of those include watermelon, strawberries, cucumbers, melons, lettuce, tomatoes, and cauliflower — all of which are light and “cool” foods to eat during this time of the year.
4. Have Carbs Before 2 P.M.
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If you can’t see going throughout summer without some ice cream, French fries, or even sushi (rice is high in carbs) — no one says that you have to. The key is 1) to consume high carbs in moderation and 2) try and eat them as early in the day as possible. Since most of us tend to be more active during daytime hours, if you’re worried that some chocolate gelato is going topack on the pounds or cause your blood sugar levels to skyrocket, having it while you’re taking a walk or before your evening workout can make it more of a stress-free delight for you. Science backs it.
5. Support Local Farmers (and Farmers Markets)
Aside from the fact that supporting your local farmers and farmer markets is a fabulous way to financially back your community, there are some health benefits that come from doing it as well. The food is fresher, there is less of a need for preservatives in them (because they aren’t being shipped from state to state), and you don’t have to play so much of a guessing game when it comes to figuring out exactly where your food sources are coming from.
Hmph, let me tell it, a great first or second date is meeting someone at a farmers market early in the day. Then, if things go well, have a picnic with some of the produce that you purchased in a park later that afternoon. Thank me later.
6. Snack Healthy
One of my goddaughters isn’t a big eater; she is a huge snacker, though. If you were raised to believe that is a big-time no-no, honestly, snacking throughout the day has its benefits. It can give you more energy,help to keep you from overdoing it when it’s time to have an actual meal and it can provide you withsome essential nutrients that you might not (automatically) receive at breakfast, lunch, or dinner.
The key to snacking well is eating healthy foods.Some of the ones that are great for this time of the year include nuts, berries, hummus, dark chocolate, cheese and crackers, beef jerky, olives,cherries, Greek yogurt, and guacamole (in moderation on that last one; guac can be a bit onthe fatty side).
7. If You Are Vegan or Vegetarian, Watch that Sodium Intake
Most things in our culture are fads;veganism isn’t exempt. However, if you do happen to be a vegan or vegetarian, it does you no good tolook down on (us) meat eaters if your meat substitutes are loaded with sodium, preservatives, and additives. That said, if you plan on putting some meat alternatives on the grill this summer (more on grilling at the end), definitely read the labels on the packages beforehand. Heart disease continues to bethe top killer of Black women, and too much sodium in your system can contribute to that on a few different levels.
8. Have Water with You Cocktails and Mocktails
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Remember how I said a little earlier that remaining hydrated is super important, especially during the summer season? Adding to that, it always trips me out when I read that a whopping 75 percent of Americans aren’t just dehydrated —they are chronically so. And since summer is when a lot of outdoor parties and vacations go down, I think it would be ridiculous of me not to put on record thatalcohol is a diuretic (which means that it definitely has the ability to dehydrate you).
So, if you’re gonna turn up, try and have (at least) one cup of water for every twococktails that you consume. And what if you prefer the non-alcoholic version of cocktails known as mocktails?Sugar has the ability to dehydrate you as well and since many mocktails are loaded with that, the same water rule for cocktails should be applied.
9. Grill Lean Meats
If you do plan on enjoying your fair share of grilled meats over the next few months, there are a couple of things to keep in mind. One, althoughgrilled meat is certainly better for you than, say, frying it,the smoke and carcinogenic compounds that can come from preparing meat in this fashion do have the ability to increase your cancer risk.For the record, doing things like removing the fat, marinating the meat beforehand, lowering the temperature of your grill, and grilling for shorter periods of time can all help to make grilling a healthier experience. So can eating leaner meats becausethey are lower in saturated fats yet they canstill give you the nutrients that you need.
10. You Don’t Have to Go to EVERY Cookout. Lawd. LOL.
Let’s not sit up here and act like one of the best things about summer is going to somebody’s cookout.Problem is, some of the unhealthiest foods (and drinks) are oftentimes served there, from hot dogs and ribs with barbeque sauce to potato salad (with all of that mayo) and sodas. That said, just make sure that if you are invited to more than a few cookouts, either you don’t attend every one or you eat something healthy before you attend. That way, you’ll eat one hamburger instead of three or one rib instead of an entire slab. Feel me?
Now that you know how to do it responsibly — enjoy the taste(s) of summer, y’all!
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
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Mastering The Art Of Talking Your Partner Through Orgasm: A Guide To Confidence And Connection
I have never been particularly good at dirty talk, but I love, love, love hearing it. Whenever I am getting close to “finishing,” I cue my partner, breathlessly stating, “Talk to me” or “Tell me you want it.” What I didn't know until more recently is that I am asking them to “talk me through it.” But what exactly does that mean? How can you learn to do it, or better yet, how can you get your partner to do it for you? (Go ahead and send them a link to this article, sis!)
In today’s world, the conversation around sex and intimacy is evolving rapidly. Platforms like TikTok have brought once-taboo topics around sex and intimacy into the mainstream. Recently, some of the men on TikTok have been sharing tips on "talking your partner through orgasm"—using verbal cues to guide your partner to and through their climax. It’s not just about talking dirty, but about being in tune with your partner’s emotions and body, enhancing both the physical and emotional aspects of the experience.
For Black women, who often find themselves at the intersection of societal expectations and personal desires, the need for open communication in sexual relationships is especially important. Many of us aren’t sure how to ask for the verbal affirmations that excite us. So let's dive into how you can master this art form.
What Does It Mean to "Talk Your Partner Through It"?
Talking your partner through orgasm can look (or sound) like a few different things. It involves using words and verbal cues to guide them to climax. Unlike regular dirty talk, which may be more about fantasy or teasing, talking your partner through orgasm is about being present in the moment, offering guidance, affirmation, or even instructions as your partner reaches their peak.
Marcqwuan, a sex educator and relationship expert, explains it perfectly:
“For me, talking her through it is a moment within a sexual experience where your partner is climaxing, and you use that special moment to communicate with your partner. Every moment is different.”
But this form of dirty talk isn’t one size fits all. It should be tailored to your partner’s desires, kinks, and needs in the moment.
But why do people go wild for this type of dirty talk? Whitni Miller, Sex Educator and Pleasure Coach, emphasizes, “For starters, it creates a sense of emotional closeness. A little positive reinforcement can make her feel like a goddess. Plus, words have power, and when you turn up the volume on verbal cues, feelings of pleasure can get cranked to 11. And who doesn’t want a bit more oomph as they approach the finale?”
Our senses play an important role when it comes to sexual satisfaction, and hearing your partner whisper sweet nothings while you approach your “O” can help make a lasting impression that keeps you coming back again and again.
Why Dirty Talk Feels Awkward (And How to Get Over It)
For some of us, the idea of dirty talk, especially in a moment as intimate as orgasm, can feel awkward or unnatural. We may not be able to think of the right thing to say or even hesitate for fear of sounding corny. The concern of saying the wrong thing or ruining the mood often holds people back. But most of these barriers are all in our heads.
Dakota Ramppen, certified sex educator, acknowledges these challenges, stating, “Some people get stuck in their heads wondering if what they’re saying is sexy enough or if they sound ridiculous. That hesitation kills the vibe.” But, be aware, your partner may not always want to hear your voice when getting close to their big “O.” Dakota continues, “If she’s in a zone and you’re too forceful or not saying the right things, you could break her rhythm.”
Part of talking your partner through it requires conversation outside of the bedroom, so you can be clear and confident about what they want. The other piece is intuitive and takes watchful practice.
Overcoming that awkward feeling involves communication and repetition. Before diving into talking your partner through orgasm, have an open conversation about what kinds of phrases or cues your partner likes. Witni says, “Adjust your approach based on her responses…find out together what makes her tick!” Start with words or phrases that feel comfortable to you and build from there. It also doesn’t hurt to have a few key phrases memorized (more on this in a few.)
After all, your partner won’t know if your sweet words are preplanned or improvised.
For Him: Tips on Talking Her Through Orgasm
Fellas, this part is for you! When it comes to talking your woman through orgasm, the key is to be present and attentive to her needs and body language. It’s not just about saying something sexy—it’s about creating a connection and supporting her as she reaches her peak. Here are a few tips to guide you:
- Be Affirming: Use phrases that affirm her pleasure, such as “You’re so close” or “You feel amazing.” These words can reassure her that she’s in control and that you’re fully engaged in her experience.
- Stay in Tune: Pay attention to her body language and sounds. If she’s speeding up, match her energy with your words, encouraging her to follow through. As Marcqwuan suggests, “If she can’t hear you, get closer to her ear and speak louder.”
- Use Sensory Language: Highlight the physical sensations she’s experiencing. Try saying something like, “I love how your body feels right now.” Describing what you’re feeling can heighten her own sensory awareness.
- Be Encouraging: Reassure her that her pleasure is your priority. Phrases like “Let go for me” or “I want to feel it” help her feel supported and free to enjoy the moment.
For Her: Talking Him Through Orgasm
Women can also take the lead in talking to their male partners through orgasm. The key is confidence and being in tune with your partner’s preferences. Whitni walks us through some tips:
- Confidence is Key: Own the moment and don’t shy away from guiding him through his orgasm. Your partner will likely appreciate your assertiveness, which can enhance his experience.
- Tailor to His Preferences: Use what you know he enjoys most. If he likes teasing or encouragement, lean into that. Dakota suggests: “It’s about creating a verbal map that gets him exactly where he wants to go.”
- Compliment & Tease: Build anticipation with compliments like “You feel so good” or “I love the way you move.” This will increase his arousal and bring him closer to orgasm.
- Encourage Surrender: Use encouraging phrases like “Come for me” or “Give me everything.” This can help your partner let go and fully enjoy the moment.
Universal Best Practices
No matter your gender or role in the relationship, there are universal tips that can help you master the art of talking your partner through orgasm:
- Positive Reinforcement: Affirm your partner’s pleasure with words like “You’re doing so good” or “Don’t stop.” Positive reinforcement helps build confidence and trust.
- Read the Room: Adjust your approach based on your partner’s reactions. If they’re responding well to your words, keep going. If not, switch things up. As Dakota says, “It’s about feeling where they are and matching that energy.”
- Be Genuine: Your words don’t need to be performative. Speak from a place of genuine connection, and your partner will feel that authenticity.
- Experiment and Have Fun: Don’t be afraid to try new phrases or approaches. Every experience is different, and what works today might evolve tomorrow.
Talking your partner through orgasm is a powerful way to deepen intimacy and create a lasting emotional connection. But it's not all about just talking! As Whitni shared, “And don’t forget your listening ears; tuning in to your partner’s needs will keep the experience flowin' and growin'.” It’s about more than just dirty talk—it’s about being present, engaged, and in tune with your partner’s needs.
So the next time you’re in the heat of the moment, don’t be afraid to use your words. You might just find that they’re the key to unlocking a deeper, more satisfying connection.
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