
I Quit A Job After 2 Weeks & It Was One Of The Best Decisions Of My Life

There's that age-old saying that applies to major decisions in your life: "When you know, you know." And when it comes to my sanity, happiness, or financial future, it's a saying that has rung true time and time again. Finding the right time to quit a job is never easy, whether you hate the job, love it but have to move on, or feel indifferent about it.
In my case, I knew that quitting a job after just a few weeks would be a far less painful experience than sticking it out. Continuing in the role, for me, would have led to the digging up of old career wounds and a horrible reversion in the progress I'd made both professionally and personally.
In just a short time at the job, I felt like I was in a nightmare remake of a Christmas classic, except this film would be called, Ghosts of Toxic Workplace Past. It was like allowing my ex to take me on a 10-day baecation cruise. Immediately, no.
And as much as I'm all for giving something (or someone) second and third chances (as I often did in the case of my ex), I'm a huge fan of Black women taking up space by not taking crap in order to prove our worthiness, tenacity, or stamina. As "strong" women, we're supposed to accept that "work 10 times harder" and big-girl-panties mission, even at a job that makes us miserable. Not only are we to survive, but we must overachieve and thrive. As my favorite auntie Betty Wright once said: No pain, no gain, right?
Well, after too many years of that, I now advocate for nipping things in the bud early, especially in matters of the heart and profession and especially when it's to your detriment.
While I don't recommend this as a smart option for every professional, it's a good idea to think through why you'd want to quit a job and when is best to do it. Here are a few red flags that led me to push the resignation button so soon:
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1. From day one, the job description did not match my understanding of the duties.
Keywords: my understanding. I often overthink almost everything in my life, so I definitely asked quite a few questions during the multiple rounds of interviews for the job. I also re-read the description and asked questions via email so that I could get a few things in writing before the actual offer was made. I thought I knew exactly what I was getting into. As someone with almost 20 years of experience in my field, I figured, hey, a few minor things might be adjusted, but the overall expectations of the job, the people I'll be leading, and the nature of the work, won't deviate much---at least not in the first six months.
Wrong.
Immediately upon starting the job, I noticed that not only was I suddenly given an extra team to lead, but the switcheroo was done very casually as if it were normal. I was taken aback and expressed that I was not aware that I'd be taking on managing more people than what was told to me during the interview process. The response: "Oh, it's just..."
Yeah, anytime someone of authority at work uses the word "just," it's a clear dismissal of what it truly takes to do your job, and from my experience, is a key sign that many of your valid concerns related to your job will be dismissed, whether passively or aggressively. And the dismissive responses to your concerns won't end. You'll end up a doormat and out of fear and obligation, take on more work than you have the mental capacity to do well.
You'll grow sick, physically, due to burnout, end up using the few sick days you have simply for a break, have none for when you actually do get sick, then be labeled "difficult" for finally setting boundaries one day in a frenzied act of tears and desperation. (Yep, this happened to me as well, which is why, again, this job clearly wasn't for me. Too many triggers. Too many oh-hell-naw signs to run. It was like being on a date with an ex.)
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2. For me, the actual (well... "updated") job requirements did not match the pay.
Again, keywords here: for me, as in, in my professional opinion based on the job's requirements and market value for the role. Additional team members were added, along with the time, energy, and talent it takes to manage them, with no raise in pay or update on my benefits package. None.
Do I need to say more? I'd worked at major companies and for major brands---proven myself time and time again--for almost two decades, with the career receipts and education to prove it, only to be flagrantly asked to do the extra work for free. And as a Black woman, I found it even more insulting.
3. My "manager" had totally different work experience and credentials that I felt were unrelated to mine.
While this particular person was amazingly welcoming and great at what she did, her talents and skills were for a totally different aspect of the business than mine, yet she was serving as my supervisor. I also learned that she'd floated around to various "management" positions in different departments. She'd been taking on multiple jobs and "helping out" in order to onboard me.
In my experience, I've known that professionals who do this are often either looking to be promoted elsewhere or are the go-to person who takes on tasks nobody else wants to do. I also knew that this was a recipe for disaster, especially if I would be looking for leadership and/or mentorship support in my role.
It seemed to me that this person was simply biding their time until a better opportunity came along or that the person was doing a favor for someone in order to advance in some other way at the company. Also, if the person judging me on my performance does not have the educational or professional background and/or credentials I have, how can they offer a fair and reasonable review of my work, especially in my role as a manager? This, too, just seemed too problematic.
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4. I was given the responsibility to lead a team that was already emotionally battered from previous issues at the company.
During my first few weeks, I knew it would be a smart move to have one-on-ones with the teams I was meant to lead. The company had gone through a series of lay-offs before they'd hired me, and my experience taught me that it's good to get a gauge of where the remaining survivors' heads were at so that I could be of service and approach managing them in a strategic way.
What I found from the one-on-one meetings were signs of disenchantment, disinterest in the questions I was asking, or lackluster responses when talking about what they love about working for the company. One person even seemed to be playing a game on his phone while in the meeting. There were a select few who were enthusiastic, welcoming, and forthcoming, but they seemed to have differing versions of their own roles and responsibilities. And the team members who were positive were newer hires, just like me.
The majority of the team seemed like they didn't even want to be there or as if they'd rather have been talking to someone else, maybe a previous manager who was laid off. As much as I love a challenge, at the time, I just couldn't stomach the idea of having to fight through and win the team members over. I just didn't have it in me. I'd be tasked with not only meeting certain company deliverables attached to my role but also appeasing the hardened hearts of disgruntled workers who'd been working at the company for years.
No, thank you.
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5. I found that I'd constantly have to re-affirm my credentials and skills.
As much as this is often seen as a "norm" at companies, I'd had my fair share and was tired of it. I went solo as a self-employed consultant for this very reason. I would no longer tolerate work environments where I didn't feel affirmed by those who managed me or who had the power to back me up when I'd need to assert authority. I also would not waste my time re-affirming what was already talked about during the interview process and was the very reason I was hired. This happens to Black women in leadership all the time and it not only takes a toll on your mental health, but it doesn't allow you room to grow in leadership.
I've had jobs where I had to test to even make it to the final round of candidates, where I've had to interview with multiple members of small staffs, and where I've had to constantly play along with what's called "micro" aggressions that were very much not micro or small at all.
And yes, I learned all of this after only a couple of weeks in that position.
Years later, I can say that quitting so soon was the best decision of my life. It was scary at the time because I wasn't sure how I was going to supplement my income, but God always comes through for your girl. And it helps that I'm not new to self-employment and the savvy of finding solutions to unemployment.
I went on to work with more freelance clients and made more money than I would have if I stayed at that job. I still have a flexible schedule, I can travel when and where I want, and I'm proud of the work I do, serving women professionals and entrepreneurs as both a coach and a seasoned journalist and editor. The companies I currently work with value my input and my experience and make me feel like a loved member of their fam. While I still face challenges, they're the type that allows me to grow in leadership and learn more about myself and the world.
So, sis, here's your confirmation: Don't wait for things to get worse. Send that resignation email (of course, after looking at your contract or offer letter) today. Stop second-guessing that gut feeling and go for yours. The time is now.
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Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
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Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Does hearing the phrase, “you’re such a good girl,” during sex turn you on? If so, you might have a “praise kink.” When I hear the term praise kink, the church girl in me wants to immediately play “The Lady, Her Lover and Lord” while riding reverse cowgirl. But that’s not what is meant by the term praise kink.
A “praise kink” is a sexual fetish that focuses on overt praise, exaggerated compliments, and an outpouring of verbal affection.
What Is a Praise Kink?
The concept of praise kinks isn't new, but thanks to TikTok, a lot of people are now realizing they might identify as praise kinksters. Currently, the hashtag #praisek1nk is trending with 568.9 million views, with tons of creators posting about their love for compliments and words of affirmation during sex. I, too, love a good compliment during sex. I once had a lover sing my praises about how good I was at a certain bedroom activity. His affirmations gave me WAP, but does that categorize me as having a praise kink?
How To Know if You Have a Praise Kink
Just because you love receiving praise doesn’t mean you have a praise kink. Someone with a praise kink experiences an intense level of sexual excitement from being praised or verbally affirmed by their partner during sex. You might have a praise kink if hearing your partner tell you how pretty you are makes you cum or if the thing that makes sex go from good to great is hearing your partner's thoughts about how good you are at giving head. And if, during solo play, the thing that gets you all hot and bothered is recalling the times your partner called you a good girl, it’s probably a praise kink.
Generally, a kink is a sexual activity that is needed for someone to enjoy sex. When it comes specifically to praise kinks, if you need reassurance from your partner that you're sexy, or good in bed in order to orgasm, you have a praise kink.
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Examples of Praise Kink Phrases To Try With Your Partner
If you’re new to the term and looking to explore, you probably have questions about what phrases to use. It may take a lot of communication and some trial and error to figure out what phrases work best for you and your partner. Ultimately, the best phrases to use vary from person to person and are based on what sex acts you and your partner enjoy, or what parts of their body they like complimented.
To get you started, here are some generic praise kink examples to try out with your partner:
Praise Kink Examples:
- You're such a good girl/boy.
- You're so good at [insert skill].
- You look so hot when you [insert activity].
- Your [insert body part] is irresistible.
- You taste so good. I can't get enough of you.
- You just have the perfect [body part].
- Just like that… you’re doing so good.
- Who taught you how to be so good at [something?]
While many examples of praise kink involve specific verbal affirmations, praise can also come in the form of brief words or phrases like “yes,” “keep going,” or simply a moan. No matter what type you prefer, praise kink is all about finding what feels good and exciting, and turns you and your partner on the most.
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Originally published on November 4, 2022