

Picture it: You have reached the end of your job interview, and you think you nailed it.
You answered all of the questions confidently, and you had amazing answers for the two big ones: "Tell me about yourself" and "Why should we hire you?" Right before the interviewer ends the conversation and walks you out, they ask, "Do you have any questions for me?" Your response is, "No, I think we covered everything in our discussion. Thank you!" You leave, just knowing that you're going to get a callback. But you don't, and you're left to wonder why. The truth is, even though you may have initially wowed the interviewer, if you leave without asking them any questions, that can be your deal-breaker.
Asking questions at the end of your job interview can make the difference between scoring the job offer and receiving the automated "Thanks for your interest, but…" email.
Keep the Same Energy
You may be asking why asking questions is important. Remember that an interview is essentially a professional first date. Two (or more) people come together to get to know each other, and they evaluate whether or not they are a fit for one another. If you go on a date, and you are the only one showing genuine interest, asking questions, showing that you've done your research, you may not be inclined to pursue the relationship any further. This is especially true if the person initially showed their curiosity about you before the date. The same applies for a job interview.
If you submitted a compelling application for a position at this company, and you've been selected for the interview, the company is expecting you to bring the same level of enthusiasm they saw on paper INTO the interview room. If the conversation ends up being one-sided, it indicates that you are not truly interested and you are not eager to learn more about them. It also gives the impression that you haven't taken the time to do more research to learn about them, reiterating the apparent lack of interest. At that point, they may no longer seek to bring you into the role as they are not only looking for skills, but also excitement about the opportunity.
Tailor the Interview Questions Accordingly
But I want to make sure that we're clear here: This does not mean you should just ask ANY questions of your interviewer. There are certain questions that should be addressed once you actually receive an offer, and then other questions that should wait until after you start the job. For example, the interview is not the place to ask detailed questions about the pay structure or the benefits package options. Those questions are best left until AFTER you have secured the position. The interview is where you can ask thoughtful questions about the role, the team, and the company. Back to our first date example: If the person is already asking about when you can move in together and when they can meet your parents and you haven't even decided to become a couple, it would be a huge turn-off, right? If the company has not yet agreed to offer you a job, and already you want a breakdown of what you can get out of them, it can rub them the wrong way.
However, if you need some ideas as to what kind of questions to ask, I have got you covered! You can check out another one of my other articles where I provide some of my favorite questions to ask in an interview. Below are a few more:
- What are the skills/traits that your ideal candidate would have?
- What are the most pressing/immediate tasks or projects to be addressed in this role?
- What are some of the biggest challenges that someone in this position would face?
- In your opinion, what sets XYZ Company apart from its competition in the marketplace?
- Where do you see the company heading in the next five years?
- What is the biggest change that you have seen at the company since you got hired?
It is imperative for you to deliver in the interview, providing outstanding answers to the interviewer's questions, and building rapport and highlighting your expertise. This is the reason advance preparation is critically important. But be sure to plan out your own questions to ask. This not only demonstrates your genuine excitement about the position, it also gives you one last shot to leave a memorable impression on your interviewer and give yourself an edge in the applicant pool!
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Article originally published on December 16, 2019.
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Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
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6 Tabletop Sex Positions That'll Unlock You & Bae's Most Primal Desires
Something I will never tire of is finding new ways to bring new layers to intimacy. A wall you use as momentum, a bathroom sink to help you keep your balance as he worships you on his knees, a shower that is usually for cleansing but evolves into a sacred ritual of shared intimacy.
My favorite kind of sex is the kind of sex that prioritizes pleasure and connection. So, technically and thankfully, I can say most of my sex life has been quite pleasurable throughout the years. But the memorable encounters for sure take the cake. One such encounter actually took place on a kitchen counter, and with it unleashed inhibitions in ways I never anticipated while unlocking levels to top-tier sex. And that, that involved a kitchen counter.
Why Kitchen Counter Sex Just Hits Different
What is it about having your hips pressed into the edge of a kitchen counter that lets out something so primal in you? The cool-to-the-touch feel of the countertop against exposed skin as you rise to meet him again and again. The urgency in every movement. The playfulness of repurposing an everyday space for something far more erotic. If you’re looking to bring that energy into your own sex life, keep reading for positions and tips to explore.
1. The Bounce House
They don’t call it Bounce House for nothing. In this position, the penetrating partner lies flat on their back on a sturdy table or counter while the receiving partner straddles them, knees bent and facing away. With their hands gripping the edge of the surface for support, the receiving partner slides or bounces at their own pace, owning the rhythm, the motion, and the view.
According to sex therapist Michael Aaron, Ph.D., who spoke with Women’s Health, the receiving partner placing their legs between their partner’s creates a tighter sensation, while staying fully astride allows for more bounce and range of motion. Either way, this one puts the receiver in full control, and you know we love a good woman on top position. Pleasure and power? Say less.
2. The Bicycle
Well, you know what they say about riding a bike. In the case of this table top position, it's the receiving partner who is the rider...but not in the way you think. While lying back on a sturdy surface or a table, the receiver will bring their knees toward their chest, bending them as if in a cycling motion. The penetrating partner stands at the edge of the surface, grabbing the receiver's ankles, and guides themselves inside, slowly so as to savor the moment. This angle puts everything on display for the penetrating partner while allowing for deep, connected thrusting for the receiver.
To take things up a notch , the receiving partner can touch themselves or flex their thighs to control the depth or the rhythm. Because, who says only one person gets to have control?
3. Counter Offer
How could we be at the table and not use it to eat? Enter: Counter Offer. In this oral-focused sex position, the receiving partner perches on the edge of a counter or table, lying back or sitting upright with legs parted or bent for comfort. The penetrating partner kneels or stands between their thighs, depending on the setup and the kind of attention they’re ready to give. No doubt, this one’s all about access and intention.
With the vulva front and center, the height makes it easier to maintain eye contact, use hands freely for things like breast play or incorporating toys, and take their time with every moan-inducing taste. And that’s on five, six, seven, ATE.
4. Standing Doggy
Standing Doggy is what happens when a classic like doggy style gets an upgrade. Instead of being on all fours on a bed, the receiving partner bends over a hard surface like a table or counter, keeping their hips aligned at its edge. The penetrating partner stands behind and enters from the back, using the angle to go deeper and create a strong, steady rhythm. This one offers maximum control and visual appeal, especially if the penetrating partner reaches around for a little extra clitoral stimulation throughout thrusting.
This angle can get intense quickly, so bonus points if the receiving partner engages their pelvic floor muscles or shifts their weight to adjust how the pressure hits, especially if your goal is to hit that G-spot sweet spot.
5. Top Shelf
Men's Healthcalls this one "Yourself on the Shelf," but we like to call it "Top Shelf" because it's giving full view, full grip, and climax potential that's hard to top. The receiving partner sits on the edge of a sturdy table or counter while the penetrating partner stands in front of them and slowly slides in, thrusting while keeping them in position. From there, legs can wrap around their waist, arms can encircle their back, and the closeness at peak ecstasy? Chef's kiss.
If you have the core strength, add lifting to the menu for the final strokes leading to orgasm. Otherwise, allow the surface to the heavy lifting and enjoy the pleasure.
6. The Thumper
What better way to remind yourself that you're both the snack and the entrée than with a little tableside service courtesy of The Thumper? This position has the receiving partner kneeling on a sturdy table or counter (keyword: sturdy), hands gripping the edge or braced in front for support. The penetrating partner can then either kneel behind them (if there's room for two), or stay anchored on the ground with both feet planted on the floor (similar to the previously mentioned Standing Doggy). It all depends on the mood.
Kneeling on the table offers just the right amount of leverage for deep, steady strokes. The receiving partner can play with tightness by either keeping their knees closer together for a snug grip, or open their knees wider to invite more access, depth, and stretch. The Thumper is versatile that way, and the most important thing? The receiver gets to be the main course. Yum.
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