Let's be real: job interviews are a lot like dating. There can be awkward pauses, uncomfortable questions, and second-guessing yourself. Even high achieving mid-level or senior-level professionals sometimes struggle to come across well in a job interview.
There's just something about the atmosphere in those interview rooms that makes you a little more nervous than usual. There's also the added pressure of wanting to come across well and say all the right things so you can get a second interview. Yeah, it really is a lot like dating, isn't it? Turns out, approaching an interview with the same confidence you would have on a date has real financial pay-off.
I'm highlighting four ways you can walk into your next interview feeling more prepared and more poised than ever to get a second interview, using tips normally associated with the dating world.
1.Know What You’re Looking For
How are you going to know if the person sitting across from you is a good match if you don't know what it is you're looking for? Whether it's your new potential boss or your new potential dating partner, you have to know which traits are desirable and which ones are giant red flags. Much of this will depend on your past experiences and your specific emotional needs.
If you're getting a bad feeling from the person interviewing you, trust your gut and explore why you might be feeling that way. Ask pointed and direct questions about the expectations, environment, and leadership styles so you can get a sense of whether this role is right for you.
2.Do a Little Stalking
Just like you wouldn't walk into a first date without knowing anything about the person, you don't want to walk into a job interview without doing some research on the company beforehand. Check out their social media pages, watch videos they've put out recently, and check sites like Glassdoor.com to see what current and past employees have to say about working there.
Unlike dating, you don't have to be embarrassed that you stalked them online before meeting them in person. The hiring manager or recruiter will likely be impressed that you spent time preparing for the interview by finding out as much as you could about the company!
3.You Have to Have Confidence
Everyone loves a person with confidence. You radiate more positive energy and command more respect right out of the gate. Not only that, it can have a significant impact on your earning potential.
According to an article by NBC News, "Those with high self-esteem earn approximately $28,000 more annually than those who lack confidence." If you calculate this out over an average 40-year career, that can be over a million dollars in lost earnings.
4.It’s a Numbers Game (Sometimes)
Sometimes, especially in big cities with lots of competition, it's more of a numbers game than anything. Go on enough interviews (or dates) and you're going to eventually find a perfect match. According to Glassdoor, the average job opening attracts 250 resumes and 2% (or five people) will be called back for an interview.
For mid-level or senior-level positions, those numbers will be different, but you still might have to go through the process a few times before you receive an offer. Of course, you should be building your skills and growing your experience while you go through this process so you have a greater chance of being the strongest candidate each time you step into an interview.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
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Featured image by Flamingo Images/Shutterstock
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Ebony Joyce is a professional resume writer, certified career and interview professional, and speaker. In 2017, Ebony launched Next Level Career Services to help job seekers optimize their skills & experience so they can master the job search process and level up in their career. She enjoys fitness, traveling and fashion in her spare time! Meet Ebony on Instagram at next_level_career and LinkedIn at Ebony Joyce.
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Tasha Smith On Why Your Self-Worth Is Your Greatest Asset In Relationships
If the definition of BOOM needed a photo next to it, it better be Tasha Smith’s face.
Tasha Smith, 53, the actress known for her captivating performances and outspoken personality, has become a beloved figure in the entertainment industry. Her portrayal of the fierce and fabulous Angela in the hit movie Why Did I Get Married? is nothing short of iconic.
Beyond her role in the Tyler Perry film, Smith has established herself as a versatile actress with a range of impressive credits to her name. She has consistently delivered powerful performances in both film and television, showcasing her ability to embody complex characters and bring their stories to life.
Off-screen, Smith is equally captivating. She is known for her candid and outspoken nature, never shying away from speaking her truth. Her authenticity and willingness to address important issues have made her a role model for many.
Lucky for us, she brings that authentic energy no matter the occasion. Tasha had us saying “Amen” and “Amen again” while listening to a resurfaced interview with Donni Wiggins on theFully Transparent podcast. There, she talked about starring in Bad Boys: Ride or Die, working with Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, and being a powerhouse.
One commenter shared, “Tasha Smith needs to have her own talk show and or motivational conferences!” and we couldn’t agree more. Keep reading for some gems that stuck with us!
Tasha Smith On Self-Worth and Resilience:
“Don’t let any man burn you out or make you feel bad about yourself. Don’t take 'no' from anybody. Period. I mean it, honey. When things go wrong, don’t stay down for too long. Let the comeback be quick and big, honey. Big. We’re resilient. We are.”
On Understanding Your Value:
“You have to understand your value. Sometimes, when things don’t go right in relationships, we, as women, tend to blame ourselves. But why does that have to be the case? I remember talking to a woman who said her guy cheated on her. I told her, ‘He didn’t think he was good enough for you.’ She looked at me confused, and I said it again, ‘He cheated because he didn’t think he was good enough for you.’ That behavior has nothing to do with you—it’s about him trying to feel better about himself.”
On The Power of Boundaries:
“If we understood our value, we’d have more boundaries, and we wouldn’t accept so much. You know what I mean? Because, honestly, we create bad behavior by what we allow. Women ask, ‘Why does he keep doing that?’ Well, because you keep letting him. The apologies are working, and those apologies come with more demonic ones.”
On Breaking the Cycle of “Sorry”:
“Once you get delivered from one 'sorry,' if you keep the door open, more will come in—stronger and harder to overcome. Before you know it, you’re stuck in that 'sorry' space. If you truly understood your value, you’d be quicker to walk away.”
On Moving Forward with Self-Respect:
“For me, at this point in my life, I’m not spinning the block anymore. You can’t just keep spinning the block. You have to have self-respect, boundaries, and a sense of your own worth. If you don’t value yourself, trust and believe a man won’t value you either.”
Watch the podcast interview in full below:
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Featured image by Paras Griffin/Getty Images