Imagine using all you've learned working a 9 to 5, taking a leap of faith into entrepreneurship, and finding success in working with major corporate clients—all before the age of 30.
This is Chelsea C. Hayes' reality. In 2014, she left corporate life behind to follow her dream of helping companies and everyday professionals use strategic communications to maximize success and sometimes resolve sticky situations.
The 28-year-old California native has been able to leverage her early career experience working in human resources for entities, such as GE and the Los Angeles Sparks, to launch her firm The Coaching Factory LLC, which boasts a client list that includes Eli Lilly, General Mills and NBC. Even Insecure actress Yvonne Orji has raved about her skills and glow up, and Hayes has since expanded her empire into coaching celebrities.
"My background is in corporate HR, so everything I do revolves around people. For such a long time HR was thought of as hiring and firing, but it's much more complex than that. It's very strategic," she said during an xoNecole interview. "HR is really about balancing the needs of an organization with balancing the needs of the incredible people within that organization. It's a really delicate balance and when you're good at it, people tell you. I've worked for some incredible women [in corporate diversity.]"
"I think in that process, I learned that whatever I did in life I wanted to revolve around people at work. That was the foundation."
Chelsea C. Hayes, SPHR CEO & Principal Consultant
Courtesy of Chelsea C. Hayes
Hayes' rep with communications also landed her a feature by The Hollywood Reporter, where she rewrote the infamous Steve Harvey memo that brought backlash to the popular radio and TV host and had everybody from The Breakfast Club to Jimmy Kimmel to CNN weighing in on his harshly-worded, post-show guidelines for staff. Hayes was able to share her nuanced version to better communicate the message without sparking offense or negative publicity.
Don't get it twisted though. Entrepreneurship wasn't always in the plan for her.
Post-college, she had great jobs and made a good living, something all college grads desire in order to cash in on their educational investments. Hayes had earned not one, but two bachelor's degrees, and was fortunate enough to get a headstart in building a pretty impressive resume. She practically stumbled upon launching her own business after getting a chance opportunity to lend a helping hand to a friend who was working on a project with the LAPD. This friend, who knew about her experience in the corporate world, thought her to be perfect for the opportunity. (Talk about the power of a great reputation and good relationships.)
"I thought I would never be an entrepreneur because math and science was really challenging for me," Hayes recalled. "That worked out fine because I had really amazing bosses, and I felt supported everywhere I worked. And then, [I participated in] the LAPD project. It was a really great experience for me. That was my first client—though I didn't know it at the time. Afterward, they were talking about me, and I said, 'Do you think I can use your logo on my website to get other clients?' and they said, 'Absolutely.' So that was how this business was started. Literally every single one of my clients has been word of mouth."
"To be honest, I think word of mouth is the strongest [way to market the] business that you have."
Hayes leads seminars and trainings on HR best practices, leadership, strategic communications and management skills. She also helps celebrities fine-tune their messages and presence to ensure they protect their reputations and don't end up on the wrong side of a scandal or in a PR nightmare.
"I love that it's my job to go into companies and have fun with people. Of course, it is my job to teach them, but people want to have fun. Any entrepreneur is selling an experience," she said. "[Coaching celebrities] one-on-one is fun because every single day is so different … Sometimes it can be as simple as writing an email that they're having a tough time writing, or it's helping them manage their team when someone is not performing correctly and giving them the language to make that happen."
Being a young boss can have its challenges, especially in a male-dominated world of high-earning executives and entertainers. Hayes is no stranger to assumptions about her abilities based on her age, but she likes to combat insecurities and doubts with humility and a commitment to excellence. Hayes keeps a smile and holds on to confidence in her own abilities in order to provide the best services and grow her business.
"You have to be comfortable in your own skin. I'm a woman, I'm black and Chinese, I'm from the Bay. I don't care and all those things add to who I am and they make me more of who I am. My clients respect that and they love that. For me, I approach every single opportunity and every client with a sense that, [yes,] I have this to offer, but I've learned from every one of my clients. They are wicked smart, they have so much going on, and every one inspires me. I think approaching it from that aspect and from that place of gratitude and learning—people can sense that and feel that."
"So when you're young, they'll probably tell you that they're feeling a way about that. It's not personal at all. You have to let your work speak for itself."
In mastering getting out of one's feelings and communicating in a way that is professional yet engaging and effective, Hayes has been able to use her own tricks of the trade to challenge herself and her clients. Building great relationships by knowing the power of emotional intelligence in both written and spoken communication has been a saving grace for Hayes. She offers the following advice for other young women who are seeking to do the same in reaching their business and career goals:
"Be sure about what you're really good at and be sure about where you need growth. Be positive about [those things] every morning when you walk in the door," Hayes advised. "[Also], think bout what you want long-term and don't be afraid to ask for it."
"I work with so many women who are so confident and have literally almost 20 years of work experience and they are struggling asking for what they deserve."
Lastly, Hayes stresses the importance of following the single most important rule most successful women follow: take emotion out of it. "Assume everything is on the record… It's OK to feel emotion— to feel tired, exhausted and frustrated. Those things are OK. If you can, get a team to write [a difficult memo] for you. If you don't have a team [right now], wait for the emotion to pass, give it some time, and then write [the email] again… I learned these things early in my career and they helped me tremendously."
For more of Chelsea, follow her on Instagram.
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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