‘Sistas’ Star K.J. Smith Listens To The Voice Of God In Times Of Uncertainty
In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
As the leading actress in Tyler Perry's Sistas on BET as Andi Barnes, and shooting back-to-back with Omar Epps and Nia Long in Netflix's Fatal Affair, K.J. Smith has put in the work to solidify herself as one to watch in the acting sphere. Born Khaneshia JaNea Smith, the Florida native is best known for her breakthrough role in Ava DuVernay and Oprah Winfrey's trailblazing drama series Queen Sugar as Lena Evans.
There's no doubt the starlet has a lot on her plate. "I am a busy woman. Now, if I made excuses, I wouldn't have time for self-care," she told xoNecole exclusively.
"I feel like one's cup must be full for one to perform effectively and efficiently, at anything one does. If you want to continue to thrive as a professional, caring, loving woman in society, you have to make time."
For this installment of "Finding Balance", xoNecole caught up with K.J. Smith about her faith in God when she needs reassurance, admittedly being a workaholic, and why detoxing isn't the best for her digestive system.
xoNecole: At what point in your life did you understand the importance of pressing pause and finding balance in both your personal and professional life?
K.J. Smith: I think COVID-19 really put everything in perspective for me. I am a workaholic. I enjoy what I do, and I enjoy doing it often, so it never feels like work. When COVID-19 took over, I realized that there were some other areas in my life that I was neglecting. I am trying to be more active by creating balance even when my work life gets hectic.
What is a typical day in your life? If no day is quite the same, give me a rundown of a typical work week and what that might consist of.
A typical workday for me is waking up to text messages from my manager and publicist, followed by emails from production and agents. I roll out of bed and have a cup of delicious coffee, then I sit and meditate for 10 minutes with positive affirmations playing in the background. Next, I stretch for five minutes and do my work-out of choice for 30 minutes, then I'll hop in the shower. I complete a series of interviews via phone or Zoom. I always call and check on my mommy and sister. I work on either projects that I have coming up, or projects that I am currently working on, by studying my lines before physically going to set. Lastly, I unwind by catching up on my favorite binge-worthy shows. I often fall asleep on the couch.
What are your mornings like?
Mornings are incredibly quiet at my house. I like to watch the sunrise and sit in silence sipping coffee.
When you have a busy week, what’s the most hectic part of it?
The most hectic part of a busy week is remembering my calendar and balancing my schedule. It can get confusing remembering what days I must do what. For example, I am on set wearing a blonde wig and the next day I need to rock my natural curls. I am always being mindful of the energy and effort it's going to take to pull those things off from day to day.
Do you practice any types of self-care? What does that look like for you?
I am a self-proclaimed self-care guru. The primary self-care rule for me is boundaries, when you set clear boundaries, one will not have an issue making time for oneself. "No" is my favorite word. I will gladly say it without explanation. I truly believe this is another form of self-care and self-preservation.
"'No' is my favorite word. I will gladly say it without explanation. I truly believe this is another form of self-care and self-preservation."
Collette Bonaparte
How do you find balance with: Friends?
I always set time aside to call or FaceTime with my friends. It's so important to me. I need encouragement from my friends, as do they do from me.
What about health? Do you cook or find yourself eating out?
I cook for myself when I'm at home but I'm usually not at home, so I often eat out. I try to find choices that work for my day instead of trying to stick to a specific diet. If I am going hiking or dancing for eight hours, I give myself grace for what I ate that day.
Do you ever detox?
I don't often detox. I find it disturbs my digestion track because my digestion system is used to a certain routine. If I fast for a certain amount of hours, my body will heal itself, and I prefer that method.
When you are going through a bout of uncertainty, or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
I listen to the voice of God. I silence my mind. I turn off my TV. I turn off my music and I listen.
What do you do when you have a creative block on a project or feel like you have to clear your head before going into a project?
I will journal as my character when I am having a hard time understanding my character's point of view or I feel mentally blocked on a project.
Honestly, what does success and happiness mean to you?
Success and happiness means peace of mind. I feel like you can have all the money in the bank and have all the material things that you want, but if you don't have peace of mind, you can be in hell on earth. So, success means alignment and peace of mind.
For more KJ Smith, follow her on Instagram. Watch BET's Sistason Wednesdays at 9/8c.
Featured Image By Collette Bonaparte
'Love Island USA' Star JaNa Craig On The Reality Of Black Women On Dating Shows
Love Island USA just wrapped up its sixth season, and it has been the talk of the town. According to Nielsen, it's the No. 1 show on streaming, proving it's just as entertaining as the UK version. One of the reasons this season has been successful is due to the authentic relationships formed between the islanders in the villa.
You have the sisterhood between Serena Page, JaNa Craig, and Leah Kateb, aka PPG, and the real relationship moments between couples like Serena Page and Kordell Beckham, who were named the winners of this season. The other finalists include Leah Kateb and Miguel Harichi, Nicole Jacky and Kendall Washington, and JaNa Craig and Kenny Rodriguez.
While JaNa made it to the finale with her boo Kenny, her journey in the villa was far from perfect. Viewers saw the Las Vegas native get her heart stomped on a few times after many of her connections didn't work out.
At one point, it even looked like she was getting kicked off the island. While she had a lot of support from people watching the show, it was clear that she was in a position that many Black women on reality dating shows find themselves in: not being desired.
It has been an ongoing conversation among Black women watching reality dating shows as we see time and time again that non-Black women or racially ambiguous-looking women are often chosen over Black women, especially dark-skinned women. In a discussion with Shadow and Act, JaNa opened up about the support she received from viewers.
@cineaxries i love them 🤧 #janacraig #janaandkenny #loveislandusa #foryou #peacock #loveisland #janaloveisland #xybca #kennyloveisland #janaedit #loveislandedit #janaedits #loveislandusaedit #viral #loveislandusaseason6 #foryoupage #peacocktv
"You know what’s so crazy? I’m so grateful, because when I got my phone, the way they’re making us The Princess and The Frog…I felt honored. I will be that beautiful chocolate queen if I need to be. And the comments like 'beautiful chocolate girl,' I’m like, all Black women are beautiful. There’s the whole light skin versus dark skin, which breaks my heart. I just really don’t understand that, but I will take pride and represent us well," she said.
She also candidly discussed her experience as a dark-skinned Black woman on the show. JaNa and Serena had been in the villa since the first episode, and they were the only dark-skinned Black women there. As new men aka bombshells came into the villa, they found themselves not being wanted by many of them.
"Me and Serena literally had a heart-to-heart before Kenny came in and she’s like, I just don’t think it’s fair that the Black girls don’t get enough fair chance.' Every islander that came in, we were not their top pick. And we just [thought], maybe because we’re Black girls, and the dark-skinned Black girls. It sucked," she said.
"I’m like, 'Serena, we know what we bring to the table. We’re great personalities. A guy’s going to come in for us.' That’s when we manifested what we wanted, and that’s when I manifested Kenny."
@ashleyvera__ We love to see it 🥰 #loveislandusa #loveisland #loveisland2024 #janaandkenny #loveislandseason6 #peacock #realitytv #fypage
After many failed connections, Kenny came in and immediately turned JaNa's experience around. America watched the model get the care and attention that she deserved.
"I’m not going to hold you. When I was in the bottom for a quick second, I’m like, ‘There’s no way America doesn’t [ride for us]. I know Black America had to ride for me, but maybe because I’m a dark-skinned … hmm … maybe … you feel me? And you saw the Casa Amor lineup. Beautiful, beautiful light-skinned [women]," she said.
"We looked at each other like, 'Damn, Love Island did their big one with this. And every single Casa Amor girl was like, 'You girls are gorgeous, you guys are stunning.' They expressed love. You guys are beautiful and it felt good."
Although she and Kenny came in third place, JaNa is happy that she got her man in the end. "I think the thing I’m most grateful about is the fact that this is a beautiful love story like you guys complement each other and there’s no hate toward the skin color. It’s all love and support. I love that more than anything," she said.
"That’s why I was like, 'I won,' even though I didn’t win. And the fact that Serena won, we were like, 'Yeah, run that.' Either way, we won. And I love the support from all communities."
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According to Mrs. Savannah James, she would like to be addressed as “wife” — other monikers simply won’t do.
In a recent episode of the Everybody’s Crazy podcast, James and co-host April McDaniel received a call from a listener caught in a love triangle between a man she was dating while entertaining a “sneaky link.”
The hosts went on to advise the call-in guest to pursue singleness as she sorts out her needs, which led to a discussion what the meanings of "sneaky link" and a "side chick," a topic their producer eventually clarified for them.
“A sneaky link is somebody that you know you sneaking with,” their producer decoded. “But your side chick the majority of the time your main girl knows about the side chick.”
Agasted by the definition, McDaniel went on to share her stance on ambiguous relationship statuses. “I don't even want to be the main chick,” she stated.
“I need to be the wife these days. I don't want to be the ‘wifey.’ I don't want to be nothing. I want to be the wife.”
James went on to express her strong dislike for the term "wifey," sharing that she didn’t want to be called a wife until she officially made one by her now husband, NBA star, LeBron James. “When I tell you I hate, loathe ‘wifey’ with my whole entire soul,” said James. “I'm sorry, don't call me your wife and I'm not.”
“I had to politely tell my husband back in the day,” she says. “He used to introduce me, ‘This is my wife.’ I had to pull him to the side like, ‘Excuse me, sir, don't introduce me as that, please. I am not your wife, and I deserve that title when the time is right.’”
She continued, “I don't want you to start to think that it's okay for you to say this and then, you know, means don’t have to go the next step.”
As we age and new terms become popularized, it’s common to not fully know what titles and terms work best for the relationship and dynamic one might navigate. In McDaniel’s case, finding the right titles to introduce the new men who come into her life can be tricky.
“But that has been interesting, recently, when introducing certain individuals, at my age,” she explains. “‘Boyfriend’ sounds crazy, ‘my man’… mhmm… ‘my partner’ sounds like I’m a lesbian.” Conquous to what the best intro would be at the “big, grown stage” James offered “tiers.”
“I feel like it's tiers,” James said. “You have to start at the bottom and then come up.”
“One of these days we have to go live so we can ask people live like, what is the titles? Because I'm very intrigued by knowing what are the titles people go by and what feels ‘premium.’ Because I want the premium title,” McDaniel concluded.
While every relationship is different, placing the proper titles on who you're dating and where you see it going is key to formulating a bond that’s both secure and amicable. After all, it’s not what they call you, it’s what you answer to.
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Featured image by Araya Doheny/Getty Images for Baby2Baby