

Springtime is here, so are budding new relationships. In terms of dating, this can be a source of great happiness and anxiety, at the same time. Navigating the road to exclusivity is one we tend to tread lightly. Unless you're mature enough to have "the talk" to determine whether or not you two are an official couple, lines can become blurred, leaving you to your own devices to conclude your relationship status. You may also be wondering to yourself, if the guy you're seeing is dating other women.
This is not an all-inclusive list, nor should you end a committed relationship if your partner portrays one or two of these signs, however, you should examine your relationship and speak with your partner to gain insight and clarity on whether or not the two of you are exclusive. If you notice any of these signs, they might be indicators that he is seeing someone other than you.
Usually, sudden/drastic changes in behavior can tip you off that something, some dynamic/element has changed, shifted. And while this isn't always the case (because stress is a factor that also causes change), certain things shouldn't be overlooked.
1.Suddenly He's Always Busy.
When you first started dating, you spent lots of time together, now it seems that he barely has time for you. You couldn't get enough of each other, now you've lost count of how many days it's been since you last saw each other in person or spent quality time together.
2.He Puts His Phone Face Down.
Or better yet, he puts it on silent/DND when he's with you. He'll tell you it's because he wants to give you his undivided attention, but if it's a night at home and not a special occasion or night out on the town, then what gives? I remember calling my ex one regular night we were at home together, that's when I found out he was putting it on DND. It's OK, in my opinion, to have a night of uninterrupted QT with your S.O., but if your man is super protective of his cellular at all times, then that could be a red flag.
3.There's A Change In His Pattern.
Let's be honest, most men are creatures of habit, which means that once they get in a routine, they're pretty predictable. If you've been with your guy for a decent amount of time, I'll bet he probably texts you at the same time every morning and you can probably guess what he's having for lunch. But once their daily habits start to change, specifically, their communication patterns, this coud be a cause for concern. If your man starts working later hours or becomes more concerned with how he looks or smells before he goes to work (it's the bottle of cologne in the car for me), then he may indeed be working OT, but in a whole different capacity.
4.You Catch Him In An Obvious Lie.
This may sound obvious but there's more to it than that. Catching someone in a lie is a general rule of disloyalty, but it's not so much that you catch them in a lie but more so about how they react to you addressing them about it. In a previous relationship, I called my guy one evening and he rushed me off the phone claiming that he was at an event with his daughter (you know, because men can always use their kids as an excuse with no rebuttal).
While it must have slipped his mind that he told me two days prior that the two of them had already visited the annual event, had he not reacted in the manner that he did, I might not have second-guessed his excuse. But the fact that he did, gave me a reason to be suspicious.
5.He Is Protective Of His Space.
First things first, there's nothing wrong with being protective of a space that you maintain and pay the bills in. But when you're in a committed relationship with a man, the least you should be able to leave at his house is a toothbrush and a few self-care items. I'm not suggesting you stock the man's bathroom with feminine hygiene products, but maybe a few essential items on a shelf. If you want to try this theory out, I suggest you try and subtly leave behind a piece of jewelry or toiletry at his home. This could also apply to household gifts you give him, such as a framed picture or sentimental item you make for him. If it's there upon your return, then you may have a keeper. This theory isn't foolproof, though. However, typically, if you can "leave your mark" behind, it means either he didn't notice or no one else has been there to notice it, either.
There's a popular saying of "where there is smoke, there is a fire." Although these indicators are not absolute in predicting an unfaithful mate, they are tell-tale signs that warrant caution. I want to be clear that these rules are intended to be put in place for couples who are committed and exclusive, rather than just dating.
Dating, in my opinion, is intended for the purpose of getting to know people and who may be a good match for you. But no one wants to waste time with a man who is clearly still entertaining other women. And that's on Mary had a little lamb.
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'Sistas' Star Skyh Black On The Power Of Hypnotherapy & Emotional Vulnerability For Men
In this insightful episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Sistas star Skyh Black, as he opened up about his journey of emotional growth, resilience, and self-discovery. The episode touches on emotional availability, self-worth, masculinity, and the importance of therapy in overcoming personal struggles.
Skyh Black on Emotional Availability & Love
On Emotional Availability & Vulnerability
“My wife and I wouldn't be where we are today if both of us weren't emotionally available,” he shared about his wife and Sistas co-star KJ Smith, highlighting the value of vulnerability and emotional openness in a relationship. His approach to masculinity stands in contrast to the traditional, stoic ideals. Skyh is not afraid to embrace softness as part of his emotional expression.
On Overcoming Self-Doubt & Worthiness Issues
Skyh reflected on the self-doubt and worthiness issues that he struggled with, especially early in his career. He opens up about his time in Los Angeles, living what he calls the “LA struggle story”—in a one-bedroom with three roommates—and being homeless three times over the span of 16 years. “I always had this self-sabotaging thought process,” Skyh said. “For me, I feel therapy is essential, period. I have a regular therapist and I go to a hypnotherapist.”
How Therapy Helped Him Heal From Self-Doubt
On Hypnotherapy & Empowering Self-Acceptance
Skyh’s journey is a testament to the power of tapping into self-development despite life’s struggles and being open to growth. “I had to submit to the fact that God was doing good in my life, and that I'm worthy of it. I had a worthiness issue and I did not realize that. So, that’s what the hypnotherapy did. It brought me back to the core. What is wrong so that I can fix it?”
Watch the full podcast episode below:
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Pack A Travel Case With These 12 Items For Amazing 'Summer Vacation Sex'
It’s kind of funny that while I’m literally in the process of writing this article, the Los Angeles Times published “How to get lucky on your family vacation” hours prior. LOL. Although this year marks a bit of a dip in the amount of Americans who plan on taking a summer vacation (because this administration ain’t making coin-keeping easy, y’all) — it’s still being reported that around 53 percent will do so in the name of rest, relaxation and spending quality time with their loved ones.
And for many, the loved ones category absolutely includes their bae. And if that is the case, that probably means that sex is somewhere on the menu.
Yep. I actually read one survey (that consisted of 2,000 people) that said folks tend to have twice as much sex while they are on vacation than they do when they’re at home. It makes sense too when you factor in that you have less to do (unless you’re traveling with those folks who act like you need an itinerary for every damn thing — and we all know one…SMDH), which makes you less stressed out, which makes it easier to feel sexy and to want to get sexual.
And so, in the spirit of that indeed being the case, I want to make sure that you carve out a corner of your suitcase or carry-on to include at least half of the following 12 things that are on this list — things that can help to make “summer vacation sex”…that much hotter, y’all.
1. Edible-Grade Sunscreen
It can’t be said enough that, no matter how melanated you may be, your skin needs sunscreen. Not only to protect yourself from the risk of skin cancer (which 1 in 5 Americans will get in their lifetime) but from premature aging that can come from sun damage too. That said, if the urge arises to have sex outside somewhere, I did find some edible-grade sunscreen, in case you’re either worried about what sex in the sun will do to your skin or how all of the chemicals in sunscreen will affect your (digestive) system. The company is called Sky & Sol and you can read up on them here.
2. Flavored Lip Balm
If you’ve ever wondered why your lips are so susceptible to being chapped, it’s because they don’t contain any oil glans to keep them moisturized. This is especially important to keep in mind when the weather is extremely cold or hot because that can do a real number on the sensitive skin that your lips are made out of. That’s why it’s essential to stay well-hydrated and to also keep some lip balm in tow. Lip balm is especially designed to moisturize your lips, reduce chapping, exfoliate, soothe irritation and protect your lips from UV damage. As a bonus, lip balm will also help to keep your lips super soft and kissable; especially if you get the flavored kind. #wink
3. Condoms
I’m still out here, literally shaking my damn head, that reportedly, only one-third of men and one-fourth of women use condoms (and even many of those folks don’t do it consistently). It can’t be said enough that if you’re not in a monogamous (married) or exclusive (dating) relationship where you both are getting regularly tested and are on some other form of birth control (unless you want to get pregnant) — you absolutely should be using condoms and, as a woman, you should not solely rely on your partner to have some that are ready and available.
Not just because you should be responsible for your body and health but because not all condoms are made equal, so you should bring along some that you prefer/enjoy. If you’d like a lil’ help picking those out, check out “These Are The Kinds Of Condoms Your Vagina Would Actually Prefer.”
4. Crotchless Swimsuit
Packing some sexy lingerie? I certainly hope that goes without saying. If you’ve got a hot tub around, though and you want to “get it in” without getting totally naked (so that nosey people won’t see every damn thing), you do know that there are some crotchless swimsuits out in these streets, right? An example of one is here. Of course, you can always do what Beyoncé said in “Drunk in Love” and just move ish over to the side but…I’m just giving you another creative option…if you wanted one.
5. Blindfolds
If you’d like to cultivate an atmosphere of mystery or anticipation, a simple blindfold will do the trick. There is another reason why I think they are great for summer vacation (sex) trips, though — if your hotel room doesn’t come with blackout curtains and you want to have a quickie or two without the room being so bright, putting on a blindfold can solve that “problem” too.
6. Waterproof Sex Toys
Who said that you have to wait until you get to your hotel room to engage in some foreplay? If you bring a couple of sex toys around, you can tease each other practically anywhere — and if they are waterproof, that includes in the ocean or pool. Some, you can pair up with your smartphone in order to stimulate your partner from just about anywhere. Whew, chile.
7. Homemade Sex Toys Too
Speaking of sex toys, you’d probably be amazed at how many things in your house can double up as one. A spatula or wooden spoon is great for spanking. A necktie, some tights and a pair of clothespins work well for BDSM (use your imagination, sis). An electronic toothbrush is its own vibrator. A string of (lubricated) pearls in between your thighs? Girrrl…GIRL. Oh, and cop a silicone ice tray that comes in different shapes.
When you are rubbing ice in the shape of fruit, flowers or even animals over each other’s bodies, you’ll be surprised by how the combination of the cold with the texture of the space of the ice will stimulate you (make the ice out of juice instead of water for an extra sweet treat!).
8. Portable Charger
I don’t know what took me so long to get a damn portable charger but it’s one of the best things that ever happened to me. What I personally purchased is the ANKER Zolo Power Bank, 20,000mAh 30W High-Speed Portable Charger. I can throw it in my purse, it charges fast, I can use more than once before needing to recharge it; plus, it complements most devices. A great thing to keep in mind, so that your sex toys don’t end up going out on you while you’re…wherever you are.
9. Massage Oil Candle
Going through security at the airport can be a HEADACHE. And while, how long it can take, oftentimes varies on the airport you’re at and the time you are traveling (you can read more about that here), the process is going to be especially annoying if they have to go through your bags. Since you can currently only pack a quarter-sized bag of liquid products on your carry-on, my two cents would be to leave the massage oil at home and pack a massage oil candle instead.
That way, you can still engage in some temperature play (check out “Hot Sex: 10 Super Sultry Reasons To Bring Wax Play Into Your Bedroom”) while you’re on the road without going through any security hassle hang-ups. Some edible massage oil candles are located right here.
10. Wine Cooler Sleeve
Say that you end up going on a wine tasting tour while you’re on vacation and you end up purchasing a bottle or you simply want to toast with some champagne but you’re not sure how to store the bottle. Did you know that there are wine cooler sleeves that are lightweight, portable and will help to keep your bottles cold without condensation for hours on end? A brand that comes highly recommended is here.
11. Rose Petals
I think there are a few reasons why rose petals are oftentimes used to create a sexy mood. Red symbolizes love and passion. Rose petals are soft to the touch. The scent of them is considered to be an aphrodisiac as well. For all of these reasons, bring along some fresh rose petals for your hotel bed. If you put a damp paper towel in something like a small Tupperware container and then place the rose petals inside of that, they won’t dry out quickly which will make them feel great once you’re ready to start rolling around in them (you can also keep them in your hotel room’s fridge to further extend their shelf life).
12. Mints
Morning sex. Outdoor sex. Whatever kind of sex — it’s always going to be better when your breath and his smell good. And just so you don’t have to lug around a big bottle of mouthwash, pack some mints. Altoids are always going to be my number one draft pick — yet go with whatever are your personal faves. They’re the perfect hack for unbelievable summer vacation sex. Wouldn’t you agree? Enjoy!
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