Money Talks is an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they spend it.
Most relationships will fail on the surface level due to lack of intimacy, communication or trust, or even falling out of love with one another. However, thanks to Chanel Nicole Scott's relationship platform, CheMinistry, viewers are witnesses to candid conversations between guest speakers during live hosted events about the rise of healthy relationships.
Alongside unequal spiritual wellness and poor communication skills, financial dispositions can also play a factor in the success or failure of any relationship. "I love that my work has allowed me to educate others on the concept of financial literacy and the importance of this kind of discipline when you are engaging in a long-term relationship. Many relationships are about finding common ground, and much of the ground that you cover must include what your financial life and retirement plan will look like for you and your partner," Scott shared with xoNecole.
Courtesy of Chanel Nicole Scott
As the founder and lead organizer behind a relationship platform that has been recognized by stars of Real Housewives of Atlanta, Black Love, and many award-winning singers and songwriters, CheMinistry has attracted a worldwide audience by providing perspective and preparing them for long-lasting, healthy relationships.
The North Carolina native organized CheMinistry to provoke intimate exchange and compelling conversation surrounding romantic relationships with the ultimate goal of bridging the gap between purpose-driven men and women who desire to progressively move their love life to the next level. CheMinistry has featured top influencers and celebrities in pop culture from R&B singer Fantasia and Destiny's Child founding member LaTavia to actresses Demetria McKinney and television personalities Erica Dixon, Drea Kelly, and Debra Antney.
In this installment of "Money Talks", xoNecole spoke with the 45-year-old founder about how to better manage your money with your partner, why relationships fail due to financial instability and the importance of investing for the younger generation.
On the statistics of failed relationships due to financial instability:
"If you consider the most common disagreements in relationships, many of these disagreements are linked to money, egos, and expectations based on society's hierarchy of men versus women in the household. Financial instability creates disconnect, resentment, and even control issues between you and your partner. It is so important to be transparent about your finances AND your debts when you are pursuing a healthy relationship.
"More than 43% of marriages start off in debt. Imagine planning the wedding of your dreams, and then after you've invested all this money into a memory, you come home only to realize you're still in debt. Your issues will start that day!"
On how relationships can be saved through financial wellness and managing money with your partner:
"I would encourage individuals to educate themselves on financial literacy and position yourself to be financially independent before entering a marriage. The simplest of issues that can create a disconnect are the control mechanisms that are enforced when one partner feels they have more financial power––thus more power in the relationship. For couples who find themselves in this position, you can save your marriage simply with open communication."
Courtesy of Chanel Nicole Scott
"Financial instability creates disconnect, resentment, and even control issues between you and your partner. It is so important to be transparent about your finances AND your debts when you are pursuing a healthy relationship. More than 43% of marriages start off in debt."
On how the pandemic has financially impacted couples and how to recover:
"Whew! COVID has challenged couples in so many ways, but definitely financially. Many couples usually have some small sort of disagreement about saving and spending habits, but now more than ever, couples are really having to confront some unhealthy spending habits that are overtly more unhealthy during this pandemic. Having to completely alter how your household is run or led to align with today's current economy is difficult, especially considering that so many people have lost jobs and are having to live off of one partner's income, if any income at all."
On how much she saves and if it’s in a high-yield savings account:
"I do invest money into the Money Market and CD account but with the current economic climate, the yield is very low. A CD account pretty much offers a savings account where you invest a specific amount of money with the bank and agree to let that amount sit over a specific period of time. In reward, banks will offer you a higher interest rate for your money. CD accounts are good because your money is insured by the bank and often has low-risk associations, however, if you do not have a substantial amount of money to get started with a CD account (usually an amount of money that you can afford to do without for a fixed period of time), then I would not suggest starting this account so soon."
On her definitions of wealth and success:
"I believe wealth is defined as the ability to leave a generational blessing for those who come after me. Success is the capacity to know and operate in my God-given purpose. A lot of people feel that wealth and success go hand-in-hand. I feel that success has a lot to do with personal gratification. When you have reached a space where you are generally satisfied with your place in life, most people feel successful. Wealth I feel is more of a tangible experience. It allows you to acquire certain luxuries that, usually, generations after you should be able to benefit from."
Courtesy of Chanel Nicole Scott
"When you're faced with life challenges, you often find your peak of strength and creativity. You find yourself learning how to make something out of nothing, and at my lowest points, I've learned that being tested isn't a bad thing, but more so a transitional period."
On the lowest she’s ever felt when it came to her finances and how she overcame it:
"There was a point in my life where I lost everything chasing after what I believed to be my purpose, but in the midst of it all, I was able to tap into the gifts and talents that I didn't even know I possessed. I [co-wrote] a book about it Girl Powered Uncensored, a compilation of women stories [in the first chapter]. I had to reset. I literally started all over again and am re-building, but this time I have the wisdom to make better decisions about my purpose and what I was actually put here to do. When you're faced with life challenges, you often find your peak of strength and creativity. You find yourself learning how to make something out of nothing, and at my lowest points, I've learned that being tested isn't a bad thing, but more so a transitional period."
On her biggest splurge to date:
"I think my biggest splurge would be my car. I love cars, just like other people like bags and shoes, but I like those, too. My thought process behind all of my purchases is that if I work for it, then I can have it. Unlike some, I don't believe in buying anything that I don't want or settling for less, I'd rather wait until I can actually afford what I want."
On whether she’s a spender or a saver:
"I'm definitely a spender, but I save money by allocating portions of my income to be deposited into different accounts for monthly living expenses, spending accounts, and savings accounts."
On the importance of investing:
"If I could offer any advice to younger generations, it would be to start investing early or encourage your parents to set you up to invest. Ask questions early-on. Investing early makes the difference between a 15-year retirement plan and a 40-year retirement plan. When you reach your mid-20's you start wanting to really experience life, hence why you need money. By the time you're 30, you want to live for you and live unapologetically (hence you need money). By the time you are 40 plus, you want peace, stability, and financial freedom to move comfortably and take care of your family, hence you need money. Investing really prepares you for each level of desired stability."
Courtesy of Chanel Nicole Scott
"Investing early makes the difference between a 15-year retirement plan and a 40-year retirement plan. When you reach your mid-20's you start wanting to really experience life, hence why you need money. By the time you're 30, you want to live for you and live unapologetically (hence you need money). By the time you are 40 plus, you want peace, stability, and financial freedom to move comfortably and take care of your family, hence you need money. Investing really prepares you for each level of desired stability."
On her savings goals and what retirement looks like to her:
"With the changing economy, my retirement plan is continuously evolving. Currently, I make contributions into a 401K in addition to an MMA and CD account. The current state of the economy has shown everyone, especially me, that having one plan is not enough. There are many people who were set to retire in 2020, thought they planned accordingly for retirement, and as soon as we entered this pandemic, many finance plans were challenged. Everyone's retirement plan is currently still evolving in order to prepare for the unthinkable future."
On her budgeting must-haves:
"I must have a food-spend budget. I'm a single woman with no children and I'm a foodie. Besides, I don't cook. I have a separate account that I deposit money into just for food expenses."
On her intentions behind multiple streams of revenue:
"In my business, we've created a stream of income through ticket sales and we also provide a vendor experience as a part of the live event. The event is fairly large so it can be quite lucrative. I've also created brand merchandise. However, with the recent changes in the economy due to COVID-19, we're still in the process of revamping 'how' we do business."
On unhealthy money habits and mindsets:
"Impulsive spending is definitely a bad habit of mine. If I see it and I want it, I buy it. Sometimes I have to talk myself off the ledge, but I think developing a clear financial picture of what your savings goals are and where you see yourself in a particular time frame helps with creating an effective financial plan. I'm still trying to make those changes, but I do spend less when I 'think' through my purchases!"
On her money mantra:
"'Give and it shall be given to you; good measure, press downed, shaken together, and running over.'"
On the craziest thing she’s ever done for money:
"I don't think it was crazy, but I did UberEats a few years back when I moved to Atlanta. I was still in the process of building my business and securing permanent employment and I needed the extra money. It did a 'doozy' to my car with the number of miles I racked up but hey you do what you've got to do."
On the worst money-related decision she’s ever made:
"Spending too much money when you 'have it' or not being diligent enough in my decision-making. I would advise anyone in business when making financial decisions regarding your business to make decisions as if you had little-to-no money. Talk through all your purchases and ask as many questions as possible to make better decisions."
On her budget breakdown:
How much do you spend on rent? $1,600
Eating out/ordering in? $400
Gas/car note? $800
Personal expenses? $450
For more of Chanel, follow her on Twitter!
Featured image courtesy of Chanel Nicole Scott.
RELATED
Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.
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In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”
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With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”
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For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
Featured image courtesy
As you’re thinking about all of what transpired over the past 12 months, here are some signs that certain things (or people) who are currently in your sphere may need to be significantly realigned or even, shoot…let go of. Ultimately, for your greater good.
1. Your Mind, Body and Spirit Aren’t in Agreement (About It)
GiphyI believe I’ve shared before that, back when I was writing my first book, although I adored my editing team overall, it was still a Christian-based one, and so there were a few things that we would clash on. Take the term “human trinity,” for example. They kept wanting me to say something else for fear that it would appear “blasphemous” to certain readers.
Meanwhile, I kept giving pushback because "trinity" is not an actual biblical word. It literally means a group of three or a triad and while that can apply to the Godhead (I John 5:8), nothing is wrong with applying it to other situations and dynamics too...and, to me, the mind, body and spirit of a person equates to what I call their “human trinity” — and something that I oftentimes tell my clients is, “If your mind, body and spirit” are not all in agreement about something (or someone), take heed to that; at the very least, it’s an orange flag, if not a flat-out red one.
So with that said, think about what you have going on in your life right now — if you’re not in a state of complete and total peace concerning everything, is it your mind that feels that way? Is it your body that seems a bit stressed? Is it your spirit that has you unsettled?
Always remember that your being — your mind, body, as well as your spirit — was created to work in harmony, and so, if that isn’t happening about a particular person, place, thing, or idea…you really should pause, ponder, and reflect before making any major moves. Oh, and if two parts of your trinity are struggling, 8/10, that is a sign that you definitely pump the brakes. At least until you figure out why.
2. It’s Spiritually Compromising You
GiphyI’m pretty sure that a lot of you have heard the quote, “You don't have a soul, you are a soul; you have a body,” before. If you thought that the writer C.S. Lewis authored it, many people do. Actually, it comes from a man whom he admired by the name of George MacDonald, and yes, it is quite profound when you stop to think about your spirit is the divine part of your being; yes, many consider it to also be your soul (check out “I’ve Got Some Ways For You To Start Pampering Your Soul”).
Since the essence of who you are pretty much comes from the spiritual side of you (check out “What's The Difference Between Being 'Religious' And Being 'Spiritual', Anyway?”), it’s important that you are super intentional about nurturing and nourishing it; this includes keeping safeguards up in order to prevent anyone or anything from compromising you from giving your spirit exactly what it needs to thrive and flourish.
For some of you, you know this means letting go of your partner. For some of you, a toxic friend. For others, it’s really time to find a new career path, shift churches (LISTEN), to move to another location (even if that’s another state or country) or to totally reroute your daily routine — and you know this to be true because your spirit is currently feeling drained and/or bitter and/or resentful and/or confused and/or like you are losing a part of who you are just to keep “it” around.
Sis, it’s not worth it. Compromising yourself at the expense of it costing yourself never EVER is. If what I just said hit really close to home, you’ve still got a few hours to leave it all behind in time for a brand and spanking new year. It might not be easy yet do it anyway. Your spirit deserves it.
3. You’ve “Hit a/the Ceiling”
GiphyI ain’t got no lies to tell you — between the orange one in the White House and his uber-maniac ways and AI sinking its teeth deeper and deeper into so many different industries, I definitely think that 2026 is going to be a roller coaster ride for many people as far as the job market is concerned. So, while I am ABSOLUTELY NOT recommending that you flippantly, emotionally, or impulsively quit your job any time soon, I do think that you should ask yourself if you’ve “hit the ceiling” where you are, so that you can possibly plan to look for employment elsewhere or even pivot into something else entirely.
And what are some signs that you have indeed knocked your head up against said ceiling?
- You are bored as hell (or worse, miserable AF) at work
- There is no room for promotion
- Your boss couldn’t care less about your goals or ambitions
- You feel undervalued
- Your skills are underutilized
- There seems to be little to no improvement or progress within the company
- You haven’t received a raise in years
- You procrastinate because you don’t feel motivated or inspired
The fact that most of us spend the majority of our waking hours working, it makes not one bit of sense to be collecting a check at a place that is stressing you out, messing with your psyche and/or is causing you to feel like there’s not much more that life has to offer than, as they say, “paying bills and dying.” If that is what life is like for you right now, although you might not be able to quit this month, it is definitely time to put an exit strategy into place. You know, some say that a whopping 85 percent of people hate their job.
If you are one of them, let’s strive to have that no longer be the case in 2026.
4. There Is Little-to-No Reciprocity
GiphyI’m not a fan of transactional dating (check out “Guess What? Dating Was Never Supposed To Be Transactional.” and “Should You Start Off As Friends? Science Says Absolutely.”); anyone who knows me will tell you that. And when guys talk to me about how drained they feel by a woman who seems to only take and not give (for instance, someone just talked to me about how his girlfriend of three years gave him a $20 gift card; meanwhile, he purchased her seven different presents…and she actually makes more money than he does — SMDH), I will oftentimes say, “If there’s no reciprocity, she is a liability.” And I mean it with everything in me.
This goes beyond romantic situations too. Take a friend of mine who, when I tell you that, when it comes to painful situations, she absolutely sucks at being a good support system. I know this because, for the past few weeks, I’ve been telling her that she has a pattern of not showing up in hurtful times and that my patience is wearing thin because I am just the opposite.
She shared with me that she realizes that she doesn’t show up for herself in her own painful moments, and so when something really uncomfortable, trying, or taxing happens to someone else, she tends to retreat instead of reaching out.
In other ways, she’s solid, and so we are working through the matter — but I’ll tell you this: At this point in my life, when I share where I need reciprocit,y and folks don’t want to give it, I have no problem shifting how I prioritize them in my world. Because it makes no sense to call someone “friend” (or partner) and you’re doing most of the work to make that word…relevant.
Bottom line with this one is, if you’re not getting what you need from your relationships — ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP — it just might be time to leave certain people behind…now (check out “Why I Don't 'Cut People Off' Anymore, I Release Them Instead”)…so that you have room for who will be willing to show you what reciprocity in relationships looks and feels like.
5. You Feel “Stuck” in “It”
GiphyWhen it comes to the word “stuck,” the definition that I’m coming from here is “to become fastened, hindered, checked, or stationary by some obstruction” — and for the sake of time and space, what I want to amplify is the word “hinder.” One definition of hinder is “to cause delay, interruption, or difficulty in; hamper; impede,” while another is “to prevent from doing, acting, or happening; stop.”
Believe it or not, as a marriage life coach, there are actually clients who I have fired — and the reason was that they were wasting my time. Listen, when you get to the point in your life where you get that there is less time in front of you than behind you, you can’t really put a price tag on your precious moments, so when clients don’t do their homework and/or choose to remain in ridiculous situations (for years at a time) and/or really just want to be coddled instead of getting the tips and tools that they need to make wise decisions on their own — they cause me to feel “stuck” because they aren’t challenging me to be a better coach.
Progress in a client is what makes me better…and so, what I will typically do is put these types of people on probation for about 4-6 months and then release them if they remain in their hamster wheel of cyclic activity (after over a year of working with them).
This is an example of what “stuck” looks and feels like in my life; however, you need to figure out if and how that word may apply to your own. What I can tell you is anything that you know is interrupting or preventing you from doing what you know needs to happen in your world, whether it’s a person, place, thing or idea, you really need to ask yourself if it’s worth holding on to — and if you believe that it is, you definitely should realign your boundaries concerning it or then. Because again, life is too short (and precious) to be “stuck” in something that really isn’t serving you (or serving you any longer).
6. Your Present and Future Seem Super Foggy with It Around
GiphyWhat does this mean? Well, fogginess speaks to things being unclear, right? When it comes to your present, a lack of clarity can speak to feeling/being confused and confusion means that something is going on that either doesn’t make sense to us or is sending us all kinds of mixed messages and signals — and when you continue to dwell in that kind of space, there’s a pretty good chance that your future will be just as…foggy. Just as unclear. Just as confusing.
I’ll explain. Have you ever tried to drive in the fog? You typically can’t see very far ahead, which means that you kind of have to drag along in your car and, even with headlights, sometimes something can run out in front of you, catch you off guard and that can either make your nerves bad or cause you to wreck. Along these same lines, a “foggy situation” can do the same thing — you’ll be out here barely getting anything done because you’re so busy trying to figure out what the hell is going on with it or them…and that usually will cause a domino effect in other areas of your life too.
Sis, it’s not worth it. If you don’t get what’s going on in some area of your world, you’re missing information, you are being gaslit, and/or you are in denial about what is transpiring right before your very eyes. For all of this, purpose to get the answers (clarity) that you seek or leave it behind you.
As an author by the name of Shannon L. Alder once said, “The most confused you will ever get is when you try to convince your heart and spirit of something your mind knows is a lie.” Somebody REALLY needed to hear that today. I hope that you did.
Just in time for another year, and the things that you can feel really good and CRYSTAL CLEAR about.
Welcome to 2026, my dear.
Featured image by Shutterstock
