Kehlani is the epitome of authenticity as the singer and songwriter use their talents and platform to address real-life situations, particularly in their music regarding relationships.
They first gained recognition as a member of the group Poplyfe on America's Got Talent in 2011. Following this, Kehlani embarked on a successful solo career, releasing mixtapes like You Should Be Here and their debut album SweetSexySavage. SweetSexySavage reached number 3 on the Billboard Hot 200 chart and earned Kehlani a Grammy nomination for the hit song "Distraction."
Throughout their career, Kehlani has continued to release music, including mixtapes and albums. Recently, the star has been gearing up for the release of their fourth studio album, Crash, set to drop on June 21.
Aside from their musical achievements, the 29-year-old has been open about their personal life, discussing their identity, sexuality, and past relationships. Prior to publicly identifying as a lesbian in 2021, they had dated individuals of various genders within the entertainment industry.
In this piece, xoNecole looks back at Kehlani's romantic relationships and the lessons they've learned.
PARTYNEXTDOOR
One of Kehlani's high-profile relationships was with singer and producer PARTYNEXTDOOR.
Although there are conflicting timelines regarding when the pair began dating, it was reported that their romance started as early as 2013. Throughout their union, Kehlani and PARTYNEXTDOOR remained relatively private. One instance where the "Recognize" singer hinted at the duo's relationship was in 2015, the same year they allegedly called it quits.
After their breakup, PARTYNEXTDOOR released a song titled "Kehlani's Freestyle," which would ultimately be renamed "Things & Such." The drama between the exes didn't stop there. In 2016, when Kehlani was reportedly dating NBA star Kyrie Irving, PARTYNEXTDOOR notoriously uploaded a photo of him and the "Honey" vocalist holding hands with a subliminal message.
"After all her shenanigans, still got the R&B singer back in my bed," he wrote in the caption.
While the exact timeline of when the photos were taken is unclear, it didn't stop Kehlani from facing backlash due to cheating allegations. Despite denying the cheating rumors, the online pressure and torment took a toll on Kehlani when they were hospitalized in March 2016 for attempting to commit suicide.
In a now-deleted Instagram post, Kehlani explained their mindset and stood firm on their previous remarks about their union with Kyrie. The "Distraction" songstress added that they rekindled their relationship with PARTYNEXTDOOR after both parties realized it wasn't working out.
Kehlani and PARTYNEXTDOOR's reignited romance didn't last long because the pair would split for good that same year.
Kyrie Irving
Shortly following their first breakup with PARTYNEXTDOOR, Kehlani began dating Kyrie Iriving in 2016.
The former couple paraded their relationship publicly by sharing various posts online and providing insight about why the pair was a good match. In an interview with ILY magazine, Kehlani revealed that their union was special because their foundation was solely built on friendship.
"I think this is the first time that I've ever been able to really be myself at all times," they said. "In the sense of being incredibly goofy with someone and being based on a best friendship."
Sadly, Kehlani's romance with the Dallas Mavericks guard would be short-lived. The duo would go their separate ways before PARTYNEXTDOOR's social media post. Despite their breakup and the alleged cheating scandal, Kyrie came to Kehlani's defense after they were harassed on social media, which resulted in their hospitalization.
In a series of tweets, Kyrie wished the star well and confirmed that he and Kehlani weren't dating when the snapshot was released.
"I do not justify the picture or what dude did to try and spark all of this nonsense that could have been avoided, but me and Kehlani were not dating when the picture came out," he said.
Years after their break up in 2018, Kyrie issued an apology to Kehlani on social media for not speaking up sooner.
Shania Negron
Kehlani and Shania Negron
Photo by Paras Griffin/Getty Images for BET
Kehlani and tattoo artist Shania Negron were romantically linked in 2017.
Although there aren't many details regarding the pair's union, including how they met and when they started dating, Kehlani and Shania shared fragments of their life by making joint appearances at various events. That same year, the duo's relationship would come to an end.
In a 2018 interview with Queen Radio, Kehlani disclosed that the exes have remained friends despite the split.
"We've been just friends since then," they said. "That relationship actually wasn't very long, but me and her are super cool now."
Javaughn Young-White
In 2018, Kehlani made headlines when they posted on their social media platforms that they were expecting their first child, sparking attention to the father's identity. Although the "Nunya" songstress didn't release the person's name at the time of the announcement, it was later revealed that the child's father was a guitarist and long-time collaborator, Javaughn Young-White.
In an interview with Queen Radio, Kehlani opened up about their relationship with Javaughn and their planned pregnancy.
"When I found out that I can get a break from touring because I've been primarily a touring artist, that's when I planned for it for this time," they said. "It was planned so we had a short time frame of having to actually have sex every day. And we were excited that it didn't start feeling like a chore."
Further into the conversation, the "Can I" singer disclosed why Javaughn was an ideal match.
"I started dating women before I ever dated men," they said. "Then, I was lucky to find a partner who was a bisexual male. And he really understands my queerness and my fluidity, and I really understand his. It's very awesome to be understood."
A few months later, in March 2019, Kehlani and Javaughn welcomed their daughter, Adeya Nomi. Despite their daughter's arrival, the pair would ultimately call it quits. Since then, Kehlani and Javaughn have remained close friends and co-parents.
YG
Kehlani and YG
Photo by TM/Bauer-Griffin/GC Images
Kehlani's dating status made headlines once again in September 2019 after they revealed in a now-deleted Instagram post that they were dating YG. This news came after the pair attended New York Fashion Week together.
Despite the grand announcement about their relationship, Kehlani and YG's union would be plagued by numerous splits and allegations of infidelity on the rapper's part. The former couple's final breakup would occur on Valentine's Day 2020, around the same time they would release a joint song titled "Konclusions."
Days later, in response to the record, Kehlani released "Valentine's Day (Shameful)," which highlighted the painful experience they endured finding out that their partner was unfaithful.
Since that time, Kehlani and YG have remained on friendly terms.
Victoria Monét
In a jaw-dropping revelation during a 2023 interview, Victoria Monét finally ended years of speculation by confirming her brief romance with Kehlani. While appearing on the High Low podcast, the "On My Mama" vocalist revealed that the pair were seeing each other in 2020. This subject arose when Victoria was asked how her significant other, John Gaines, handles jealousy.
"While pregnant, I did a 'Touch Me' remix with Kehlani, and the song is about her. We went in the studio, [and] there was no jealousy," she said.
The mother of one also added that although the pair didn't work out, they are still friends.
070 Shake
Kehlani and 070 Shake sparked romance rumors in early 2021 when they were caught engaging in public displays of affection. Before taking their relationship to the next level, the pair had been friends for six years.
Shortly after the rumors began circulating online, Kehlani and 070 Shake confirmed they were an item. 070 Shake even appeared in the singer’s music video for “Melt.” However, in 2022, they wiped all shared photos of each other from their respective social media pages and unfollowed one another, sparking breakup allegations. The “Gangsta” songstress verified the split by sharing a cryptic post on their Instagram story.
"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes," they wrote.
Kiara Russell
In December 2022, Kehlani publicly debuted their relationship with basketball player Kiara Russell in a now-removed TikTok video. In the clip, the pair were seen lounging on the couch and exchanging kisses.
Kiara followed suit by uploading a colossal of photos, one of which included the pair out on date. The basketball star captioned the post, "love n happiness dump."
Since then, the status of the duo's relationship has remained unclear because most of Kehlani's posts featuring Kiara have been removed from their social media platforms.
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RELATED
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.
In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.
In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.
And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.
We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.
So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.
That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.
This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
It’s not like it has to be a bad thing. In fact, studies say that somewhere around 15 percent of engaged couples actually met through a friend. All I’m saying is, before you entertain someone’s “I’ve got someone I want you to meet” invitation, it would benefit you to interview them first — for the sake of all parties involved.
The questions that I recommend asking? The following six are what I think can get everyone on the same page, so that there is more pleasure than regret from the hook-up attempt.
1. Why Are They So Invested?
GiphyTwo things that I recently watched over again are the series Survivor’s Remorse (the writing is so damn good) and a movie called Trapped in Temptation (both are currently on Tubi). Something that both of them made me think about is the fact that motive reveals a lot when it comes to why people say and do the things that they do.
When it comes to the movie, specifically, without giving the film away — let me just say that, if you are in a relationship, be really careful about listening to individuals who try to talk you out of maintaining it. More times than not, the motive is shady as hell. And honestly, sometimes people who are close to obsessed with you being in one deserve a bit of side-eye too.
Now, if it’s someone who loves all things love, they are in love and they want you to experience something similar — that’s sweet. Just make sure that they are approaching the set up from a healthy space. What I mean by that is they don’t see singleness as some sort of relational handicap or they aren’t trying to override what you want for your life as if they somehow know better (there are so many ways to be a control freak, y’all).
Hmph. Now that I think about it — make sure that the set-up crew isn’t trying to use you to “save” some male friend or relative of theirs. I say that because I once knew a mother whose son had — count ‘em — 10 kids and she was FOREVER trying to get me to date him. Girl, that wasn’t for me. She was looking for a Holy Ghost Jr. for that child of hers. I’ll pass. HARD PASS.
Bottom line with this one — if someone wants to set you up with someone else, the first thing to ask is why? Make sure to really listen to what their answer is. Then pay attention to if your mind, body and spirit are at peace with their answer(s).
2. Do They Know What You Want?
GiphyI don’t know about y’all, but the people (and let’s be honest, by far, it’s usually women) who have tried to set me up with someone? They didn’t even know what my preferences or type was. Hell, they didn’t even know my thoughts or timeline as it relates to being in a serious relationship were either. And what that boils down to is they were trying to hook me up based on their agenda, not mine — and that usually meant that the guys who they came up with? Yeah…I was good on them. LOL.
Yeah, if someone wants to hook you up, you definitely should ask them if they know what you are looking for in a guy when it comes to his looks, personality, passions, spirituality, relational desires and goals, location, etc. Because, indeed, what is the point in going out with someone who is fine as hell and yet, you want kids and he doesn’t (or vice versa) or who has a great personality yet he isn’t even in the same ballpark of your spiritual beliefs?
If your friend really wants to help you out, valuing your time should come with that — and that means bringing someone into your life who complements your lifestyle. No wiggle room here.
3. Are They Aware of Your Deal-Breakers?
GiphyLast year, I wrote an article for the platform entitled, “Should Bad Sex Actually Be A Relationship Deal-Breaker?” The thing that I think needs to go on record about deal-breakers is they aren’t exactly standards that you have. No, a deal-breaker is something that can’t be worked out even after trying to negotiate or compromise. When it comes to relationships, a deal-breaker might be how long two people should date before becoming exclusive or getting engaged. Another deal-breaker might be if being religious is more important than being spiritual and how that manifests itself (church or no church, etc.). And yes, another deal-breaker may be what each other’s sexual needs and expectations are.
When someone is setting you up, it is imperative that they know about your standards. For instance, for me, I am not interested in dating a divorced person, pretty much ever (I Corinthians 7:10-11). I’ve had friends who have tried to hook me up with that demographic before and it has always been a moot effort. The fact that some of them have gotten frustrated with my convictions has absolutely nothing to do with me. Some have tried to get me to compromise my deal-breakers too — like a long-distance relationship. Is it a firm “naw”? No. However, it’s not really something that I am interested in, so why not just…recommend someone local?
Yeah, if someone thinks that they know you well enough to hook you up, they absolutely should be well-versed in what your deal-breakers are before they do. And if they’ve never asked, all they are doing is assuming — and we know what that typically means. LOL.
4. What Is Their Track Record?
GiphyIt’s kind of wild that we now live in a time when more couples meet online than they do through “old-fashioned ways” like via their friends (although some reports say that Gen Z is getting back to that) — and yet, here we are. Still, if you are willing to let someone play pseudo matchmaker in your life, you are well within your rights to inquire about their track record in that department. Have they hooked others up, successfully, before? Has any of their “Cupid work” caused both people to get exactly what they wanted out of the situation? If/when things went awry, why was that?
I know someone who is constantly trying to hook people up. Thing is, maybe 10-15 percent (no joke) of their efforts have proven to be positive and fruitful — and we’re talking about close to close to two decades of them doing it. Listen, time is too precious to be out here doing stuff ONLY to please other people. That said, if someone wants you to devote some time to one of their grand ideas, you are well within your rights to ask about their past and current success score when it comes to it.
5. Can They Keep Their Own Feelings Out of It?
GiphyWanna know if someone who is offering to do something for you is actually doing it more for themselves? If they try to make it be about them when things don’t go the way they would like, that is a dead ringer. An example? They post a message about you on social media and then question you about why you didn’t do the same thing in return. Another example? They do something for you and then throw it in your face during an argument. Still another example? They set you up with someone, it doesn’t work out, and suddenly you’ve put them in a weird spot. No dear — you put your own self in that position by trying to hook two people up in the first place.
I promise you, it will spare everyone unnecessary energy spent (or even drama experienced) if, before you agree to be hooked up, you get the matchmaker on record stating that they will keep their emotions out of it as much as possible. MEANING — they will do the introductions and then let the chips fall where they may. If they can’t do this, my two cents (save it or spend it) would be to decline the offer. Because all you need is someone texting you about why you haven’t called their cousin back or having an attitude with you when you break up with some guy at their church who they thought was the perfect catch (P.S. These aren’t hypothetical examples — LOL).
6. Will They Respect Your Boundaries? Start to Finish?
GiphyYeah, this final one is a biggie. Just because someone sets you up with another person, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily mean that they should have the right to the details of the dynamic. I don’t care if it’s the first date or the 10th date. I don’t care if you decide to just be sex buddies or to have a full-blown relationship. I don’t care if you stay together or break-up — it’s your relationship which makes it your business. Whatever you share is privileged data.
Yeah, I would say that probably the most challenging thing about being hooked up by someone you know is they have a tendency to think that they are a part of the relationship too — and that is a lie. If things go well beyond a couple of dates, you and the guy should discuss what you will both share with the person who introduced you and then agree to stick to that boundary, no matter what. It’s a great way to protect the dynamic, to keep “outside voices” from influencing the growth and to navigate how you want to move, moving forward.
Someone who hooked you up for the right reasons and knows how to honor limits? They will understand. Will they ask questions? Absolutely. Will they pry? Nah.
___
Should you sit and let someone hook you up? I mean, you never know how your blessing will come. Just make sure that they are prepared for you to do some digging into their mindset before they start sweetly meddling into your love life.
It’s only fair. Hell, and right. LOL.
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