I Was Hired To Be An Online Life Coach. Then Got Scammed For $4K. Here's How To Avoid This.

You saw the title, so you already know that this is about to be good ‘n crazy (and it absolutely is). Before we get into everything, though (le sigh), let me just say that I will be the first one to quote the Scripture, “It rains on the just and the unjust.” (Matthew 5:44-46).
It’s a wise verse to keep in mind whenever challenging things head your way because…just like wintertime comes to some parts of the world while others are experiencing the summer season, a similar point applies when it comes to how the seasons of life go down. Indeed, like King Solomon once said, everything has a time and a season (Ecclesiastes 3:1) for all of us — and while some seasons will be plentiful and sure…others will test you like no other. And this goes for everyone. When it comes to trials and tribulations, everyone gets their turn.
Clearly, for me, this is both a monsoon and a blizzard season because, over the course of about six weeks, one of my main paying gigs is shifting (which means my money probably will be too), my mother has passed and I was hired for an online life coaching gig and then scammed out of exactly $4,110.43 from said-job, all within the course of one week. Yes, literally.
Now, before I get into all of this, a heads up: It can be really easy to say what you would never do or fall for when you are in the process of looking at someone else’s own life and how their situation played out. Do me a favor and try to avoid having that potentially patronizing and/or condescending mindset here, though, because, as the cop who I filed a police report with and the attorney of the actual company (more on this in a sec) said, the scam is so layered and methodical that, “You should absolutely not feel embarrassed that you were duped.”
And you know what? I’m not. Similar to how, a big part of the reason why I wrote the article about being estranged from my mom before she died was so others in my position can hopefully figure out how to navigate those semi-dicey waters, since my bank (which is who I ultimately have to pay back) said that easily 40 percent of what they deal with these days (in their offices) are fraud-related issues and also since some reports say that easily 70 percent of jobs are applied for via mobile devices and almost 40 percent of women and 30 percent of women work remotely on a full-time basis…oh and also since, Bankrate recently published an article entitled, “Survey: More than 1 in 3 Americans have faced a financial scam or fraud in the past year” — getting scammed by an online offer for a job or a virtual position itself is far easier than you might think.
Sit back and I’ll explain to you how…
The Job
GiphySo, one morning, a couple of weeks ago, while minding my own business, I received an email with the subject heading “Join a Mission-Driven Team—Life Coach at [company name is intentionally redacted at the attorney’s request and appreciation].”
When I opened the message up, it went on to say that the human resources (HR) person had found my resume on Indeed and they thought that I would be a good fit for the virtual life coaching position that they had. Although I have been a marriage life coach for over 20 years and they were looking for someone who served more in the elderly and caregiving lane, I looked up the company and it seemed legit enough to at least grant an interview; especially since the email also included a thorough summary of the job, along with the company’s mission, core values, exactly what the job would entail and about how much I would be paid if I were to be hired.
I took the first interview and boy, when I tell you that I want to include the actual names of the HR individual and the talent acquisition manager who I dealt with but I can’t because they are real people who, as of now, we think don't know that they are victims of identity theft? Whew. Let’s keep going.
I was asked to login to schedule an interview time and then prepare to login to Microsoft Teams for a 60-minute interview on the agreed upon date. Although it’s been years since I’ve been interviewed for a formal corporate position, it seemed to go as normal and even as smoothly as I remembered. Once we were done, a couple of days later, I was asked to do a second phone interview. That lasted about 30 minutes. Later that day, I was asked to do another online interview. A couple of hours after that, I was told by the same talent acquisitions manager that I was hired.
I would be emailed onboarding forms like a tax return, direct deposit slip and information like insurance, 401(k) and the other benefits that came with the gig. I also let them know that I am a Jewish Sabbath observer, so I don’t work from Friday sunset to Saturday sunset and I already had a trip planned to see my goddaughters, so I would need to start after my return. They were fine with all of that.
Sounds great, right? Yeah, let’s keep going.
The Scam
GiphySo…as far as the talent acquisitions guy. Hmm, let’s call him “Elmo.” Elmo let me know that for the next two weeks, we would be outfitting my home with Apple equipment in order to do my virtual job well.
I’m an Android girl myself, so we discussed the type of equipment that would be needed and that the company would be providing it. Elmo also went on to explain that although they used to ship the technology and software directly, they found that working with vendors and then mailing things all over to their employees ultimately ended up delaying the process of getting them to work by their official start date, and so, they preferred giving start-up funds, along with employee sign-up bonuses, and having us make the purchases and then sending the equipment to a software technician close to us (for me, that was Atlanta; I live in Nashville).
Although I wasn’t thrilled by all of the extra steps, I ran it by a friend who has been in corporate America ever since we met in college (he even worked for Dell at some point) and so, he teased me that I am so used to not “working among them” (LOL), that I should just chill out and adjust. Once Elmo broke down what was required and the timeline of when the onboarding process would begin (all of this was also through Microsoft Teams), we got started.
He said that he would be chatting back and forth between myself their IT and the finance departments quite a bit. We discussed exactly what kind of equipment would be purchased and when, so that my “intensive training” could begin on August 25. Looking back, although his delivery was a bit on the bland side, Elmo was also professional, friendly and very thorough in his communication.
Later that day, I received my first installment check from the company’s start-up funds.
I was asked to mobile deposit it into my account and to mark “immediate availability,” so that we could start making purchases. I did and it worked: funds were almost immediately in my account. Damn near $5,000. I was told to take out $380 as a bonus for myself and to prepare to use the rest on the equipment list that we had already discussed. At first, Elmo wanted me to buy things on PayPal via a vendors list for their accounts but PayPal? Yeah, they don’t play that ish these days.
Since the vendor names weren’t a part of my contact list, not only did they kick the monies back, they flagged my account after I tried three times in a row to push it through (SMDH…and there are so many of those throughout this sordid lil’ tale).
Once I called PayPal and they released the hold, I told Elmo that I wasn’t comfortable using that method going forward and he said that they had an account at Best Buy and I could get some of the items there and then ship them via UPS to the software technician. Long story short (because this is an article, not a book), I did. I was irritated about the extra steps but my “Dell friend” said that nothing seemed abnormal since I refused to do the steps online and especially since the funds cleared and the communication was consistent.
Later that day, Elmo had a second installment check emailed to me for immediate mobile deposit to pick up some of the final things the following day. That one cleared too. However, right when I was about the head out to get the other things, when I double-checked my banking app (and so glad that I did), I noticed that the second check was declined. Elmo seemed just as alarmed and concerned as I was, so I told him that I was heading to my bank branch to see what the heck was going on.
When I spoke with the bank manager (and although I will leave the bank name out, I will shout her out because she was hella empathetic and invested), Denise stated that since the check was pending and not posted, she would not know until the following day what the issue was. I will say, for the record, that she also said that after looking at the check itself, she didn’t see any immediate red flags.
Chile…CHILE.
The next morning, I saw that both checks had been declined. I told Elmo and then went to the bank. What did Denise tell me, people? She said that both had been flagged…for fraud. And because I had already made three purchases at Best Buy, I was in the hole for the amount of those items. Meanwhile, Elmo? He was just as calm as he could be, just typing away on the Microsoft Teams app. He literally remained with me as I talked to her. He waxed poetic about how it might be a transmission issue and, if it was too much of a problem, the company would do a wire transfer to make things right.
Me? All I could hear was “fraudulent checks” and so, as Denise and I were talking it out, we decided that a good course of action would be to call the corporate office of the company to see if the HR chick and Elmo actually worked for them.
Chile…CHILE.
When I spoke to the executive assistant of the CEO of the company, I said that I wanted to ask her if two people worked for the company.
When she asked who I was and I gave her my name and told her the position that I had (supposedly) been hired for, she first sighed and then stated that she had been hearing about a nonexistent virtual life coaching position for about three weeks, that people were calling her about it from all over the country and then she semi-casually said the very names of the individuals who I was calling to ask her about in the first place. AMAZING.
Now, of course, you can already see the scam: I got hired for a job that didn’t exist and they got over $4,000 outta me in the process. Oh, but it goes deeper, my friends.
The address on the checks? It’s the address of where the “real” company used to be several years prior (so the company is wondering if a former or even current employee has anything to do with all of this).
The job package that was emailed to me? It’s legit and even has some of the benefits that were only recently implemented (the company’s attorney confirmed that).
The two individuals who I had been — eh hem — working with? They are actual people who live in the area of the real company, only they don’t work for them, and so it would appear that their identity is being used as a part of this amazing scheme.
The place in Atlanta where I sent all of the equipment to via UPS? They make international shipments (mostly to Africa), although my same Dell friend has been so pissed about all of this, that he spoke with a cop across the street from the company. The cop confirmed that he tends to be in the same location fairly consistently and he hardly ever sees any cars there. When my friend explained what happened to me, according to him, the cop said, “Let me guess: She was hired for a job and they gave her money to get her office supplies.”
Meanwhile, the attorney for the real company said that…whoever the people are have been using their logo and other materials and it has already damaged their reputation because the fake company is so closely aligned with the real one that many people are not finding out that they are not the same until after it is too late.
Just like me because, the following day, I got a threatening-as-hell letter from my bank saying that they were going to shut me down for fraud, that the amount would be written off, that I would go to collections and the debt would go on my credit for seven years. And — AND — if I didn’t have a bank account elsewhere prior to, it could prevent me from getting another bank account…period (thankfully, I have three others but…still).
And so, this means that I had to talk to Denise about all of the drama.
She then spoke with the bank manager where I first opened the account YEARS AGO to plead my case about allowing me to keep the account open…so long as I paid the debt (or as they liked to put it “until the account was made whole”). I have until the middle of next month to pay a whopping $4,110.43 — and even in that, he said that it was on the strength of his relationship with Denise and my long-term banking history that I could even get that much grace because, more times than not, with that kind of negative balance, it would just be shut down, period. SMDH.
Adding to this, upon Denise’s recommendation, I filed a police report.
The cop who took down my info wasn’t shocked but was impressed by “the wooing process” of the scammers. He then said that between the checks, the identity theft and the amount that they took (which is a felony), it would have to be pushed through to the fraud department. I will be working with them for the next few weeks on it.
And y’all — do you know that Elmo was still trying to talk to me via Microsoft Teams? He was acting like nothing ever happened and that he was still trying to get me my money back from the finance department? When I tell y’all that it makes me think of a T-shirt that I bought a friend a few weeks back that says, “Audacity Must Be on Sale” on the front of it. Elmo. He’s that guy.
And here’s what’s even wilder — today, literally as I’m typing all of this out, as life would have it, I received yet another email from another company who claimed that they want to hire me for a life coaching role in the mental health lane. On some levels, their presentation appears even more legit than the other gig (which again, the cop and attorney were both pretty impressed by — they are actually thinking that it could be an inside job, for real).
Oh, but now that I’ve experienced a $4K-plus lesson, I’ve learned a few things, and I will never be so quickly impressed.
The Warnings
GiphySince it’s pretty common to apply for gigs online these days and since it is very apparent that criminals are going for the jugular on a whole ‘nother level right through here, I’m hoping that what I am currently going through will serve as a “beauty for ashes” moment — so that you don’t have to be victimized (because that’s exactly what it is) in the same way.
1. If you’re contacted about being interviewed for a job, do some investigating.
Call the actual company. If there is a Google number attached (the second gig had that), that’s kind of a red flag. Look up reviews on the company as well. The first one acted like they were the real company, so…this point didn’t help there; however, the second company? I think they are a made-up company that scams in a different way because their Yelp reviews were in the gutter.
Folks kept saying that, although they did receive counsel, their insurance wasn’t accepted (even though they were initially told that it would be) and so they were billed out of pocket and, as a result, hundreds and even thousands of dollars had been drained from their account by said-company. Another tip? Call the corporate office of the company to see if the people who you are talking to actually work for them. That’s a big one right there.
2. Conduct some Google image searches.
Dammit, at this point, I feel like I need to start my own Catfish: The Gigs Edition show (Nev, if I see this on MTV, I’m going to know that you stole the idea from me) because…something else about that second job interview request? It has an entire website and everything attached to it. Only the so-called HR person looks like AI and, on LinkedIn, she has no followers or activity (now what human resources person moves like that online?).
Know what else is wild: they have staff on their page yet, when I did a Google image search, pictures were either pulled from Psychology Today or the image was only in reference to the site itself (meaning, I couldn’t find it anywhere else). Yep, another red flag. A couple of names that I did find on LinkedIn, they didn’t appear to be in the profession that the website said that they were in which means that their identity is probably being manipulated too. This also probably means that the bios on their pages are made up. SMDH.
3. Pay close attention to the initial invite letter.
Again, according to the attorney for the first company, they are basically imitating a real organization. The second one, though — it looks so much like the first that it was an immediate red flag. Things like — mentioning onboarding equipment, immediately spelling out your exact salary (because we all know that companies tend to give ballpark figures and then will wait to negotiate later), referencing online interview platforms before you even reply to their first message, even hinting at direct deposit requirements to work for them…all of this is cause for pause.
4. It's okay to request a video interview for your own peace of mind.
Again, I’ve been writing for over 25 years at this point and, easily, 75 percent of the people who hired me for content, I have no idea what they look or sound like. And so yes, this really is my first time being professionally bamboozled in this manner (especially at this level). Now that I’ve gone through this, though, I may ask for video interviews. Because all I did here was text and phone ones. We live in a different time. As much “proof” of someone’s identity and existence that you can have, the better.
5. Don’t deposit anything for immediate availability.
Honestly, even when I started working for xoNecole, things went pretty smoothly. And yes, I had to fill out tax and direct deposit forms. So, the fact that those fake company clowns have all of that intel on me as well — I don’t really have a hack for that other than to report to credit bureaus to be on the lookout for potential fraud or identity theft issues.
However, I will say that the bank manager who is working with me to pay off that horrendous bill did say that scammers are so sophisticated now that checks under $10,000 can be immediately deposited without suspicion until they are thoroughly processed — and that can take up to 48 (or so) hours.
And so, you probably shouldn’t deposit a check for immediate availability (via mobile deposits) unless you personally know someone. My bank did catch the bad checks…it was 48 hours later, though. Let time do its thing.
6. Get to know your banker(s) personally.
Although this drama means it’s the first time that I got to know Denise or the other bank manager who is helping me out, I do know a few people at that bank branch — and that also helped in a might way because, honestly, with how things initially looked…the bank could’ve filed a police report on me as if I was in on the scam. I did purchase the items, after all. Developing a relationship with the people at your bank gives them the ability to know your personality and your character.
7. Don’t expect job sites or Microsoft Teams to help you out. AT ALL.
I don’t know what the deal is but when I contacted Indeed and Microsoft Teams about what was going on, all they both did (supervisors, mind you) was get defensive while low-key ranting about how they can’t control what people use their sites for. Wild and duly noted. SMDH. Honestly, I was alerting them, so that other people wouldn’t get scammed in the future yet honestly…they didn’t seem to give even half of a damn.
In fact, the supervisor at Microsoft Teams said that they couldn’t track Elmo down because “we’re just like Instagram;” then, when I mentioned how quick Instagram is to boot someone off for things like harassment or constant use of certain language, he didn’t know what to say. Bottom line, you’re kind of on your own as you’re utilizing online platforms for work. Process what I just said, not with fear yet with extreme discernment.
___
I dunno, y’all — it’s like ever since my townhouse burned down, three days before Christmas, almost four years ago and I promptly took my ass to get a pedicure, even as they were still putting out the flames, a sense of calm — ataraxia, if you will — has completely taken over me as if it’s a potent edible or something. LOL. I’m irritated. I’m a bit low on bandwidth. I’m not super shook or even close to devastated, though.
It's simply my rain and winter season and I accept that for what it is. Oh, but if I can help even one of you from avoiding this particular kind of trial, I certainly want to help. I hope that, for someone, I did.
Bottom line? Scamming? Oh, it’s alive and very well. Reportedly, 73 percent of Americans have been the victim of some sort of online scam like credit card fraud. Almost 30 percent have had their bank account or email hacked. 24 percent say that they gave their personal information away due to an online scam. And gee, looka here: “Job scams surged 118% in 2023, aided by AI. Here’s how to stop them” (CNBC).
It’s crazy out here — hell, even crazier than that. And so, please take my experience as something to serve as a very cautionary tale.
Now excuse me while I return to trying to budget out $4K…basically for nothing.
And again…SMDH. The most costly one, for me personally, EVER.
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Featured image by Giphy
Your December 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Surrender & Alignment
December is about letting go. We end the year with the need for more peace, reflection, and rejuvenation, and that is exactly what December is providing for us. The Sun is in Sagittarius, and anything is possible. This is the month to believe in that and to know that the universe is supporting you. With a Supermoon in Gemini as we begin the month as well, we have an opportunity to gain the closure we have been looking for this year and to wrap up old projects, ideas, and communication breakthroughs.
This is the month to make your peace the priority and let go of trying to control the way the tides are turning. Trust in your new beginning, and give yourself time to prepare for it this month.
A big part of the clarity that is coming through this month is due to Neptune going direct in Pisces on December 10, after being retrograde here since July. With Neptune now direct, we are able to see our inspiration and creativity a little more clearly, providing the perfect energy for dreams and manifestation to be built upon. The smoke is clearing, and it’s up to you to decide what you want to do with this newfound clarity that this transit is bringing. Mercury also moves back into Sagittarius on December 11, which is great for communication and clarity, and the adventures you were trying to see through at the beginning of November come around for you again with greater purpose and support.
On December 15, Mars enters Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and this is the extra push we need to make important changes and to be on the path towards greater abundance, stability, and prosperity. Mars in Capricorn takes care of business, and we have extra energy at our disposal during this time to do so. This transit is an ideal time to focus on your career or financial goals for next year and to start putting some of these plans into motion now. A few days later, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be in Sagittarius on December 19, and this is the perfect New Moon to manifest.
The energy is high, magic is in the air, and it’s all about moving forward with the new beginnings that are inspiring you and bringing you joy to think about right now.
Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21, and this earth sign energy is how we heal, gain closure, and build new foundations in our world. With Venus also moving into a Capricorn a few days later, there is something about peace, prosperity, and security that we are gaining in life and in love as we close out the year, and this is what we need right now. This month is about reflecting on what was, letting go of old hurt, and renewing. December is an ending and a new beginning in one, and there is magic in this space to be created.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what December 2025 has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
December is a full-circle moment for you, Aries. You are seeing the gifts in your world and have a lot of gratitude for the way things have come about for you as of late. There are culminations in your world that are providing you with more abundance, stability, and community, and you are exactly where you are meant to be this month. With the Sun in a fellow fire sign and in your 9th house of travel for most of the month, December is a good time to get out of your comfort zone, explore the world around you, and get your body moving.
Mars, your ruling planet, also makes a change and moves into Capricorn on December 15, which will fuel your inspiration and power in your career space. You are making a lot of professional progress as we close out the year; however, make sure to be more mindful of your competitive drive right now. The New Moon on December 19 is the perfect opportunity for you to create some new plans and goals when it comes to traveling, education, and where you want to gain some new inspiration in your world. Overall, this is a month of things coming together for you serendipitously.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
December is about trusting your intuition, Taurus. You have a lot on your mind this month, and it’s best to delegate, communicate, and allow yourself some relief by opening up to someone and not feeling like you have to hold everything in. As we begin the month, we have a Supermoon in Gemini happening in your house of income, and the plans and projects you have been building here come to fruition for you now. This is the time to gain clarity on your financial world and to take a look at what spending habits you want to let go of here as well.
With Venus in your 8th house of shared resources for most of the month, you are doing a cleanse on your commitments, partnerships, and business ventures. You are taking a look at what you want to dedicate yourself to in the future, and what commitments you may need to let go of now in order to be in the space you truly want to be, both financially and within some of your relationship dynamics. Before we end the month, we have a New Moon in this same area of your chart, and it’s time to look at the opportunities that are presenting themselves and to trust your internal guidance system to lead you forward.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
You are moving forward fearlessly this month, Gemini. December is your month of love, passion, and dignity, and you are owning the light that you shine. We begin the month with the last Supermoon of the year, happening in your sign, and you are stepping up to the plate. You are showing up, owning how much you have grown this year, and allowing yourself to heal while also acknowledging that you have done your best and you deserve to have fun in the midst of the changes you are creating.
Mercury, your ruling planet, is officially out of retrograde, and you can use this energy to the fullest potential now. With Mercury in your 7th house of love, it’s time to speak from the heart and to talk about the things that matter and that are inspiring you right now to your loved ones. You never know what kind of epiphanies you may have when you open up the conversation to others. Before the month ends, you have a New Moon in this same love area of your chart, and this New Moon is all about manifesting romance, commitment, and abundance in your world.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
December is an opening for more love, more joy, and more freedom in your life, Cancer. You have come to a place where you hold so much gratitude in your heart for where you are today and where your heart is shining, and things come together for you with more ease right now. With the Sun in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routines for most of the month, you are getting your ducks in a row while also putting more energy and effort into taking care of yourself, your priorities, and your well-being. This month surprises you in many ways, and it’s because you are showing up.
Mars and Venus both move into your house of love, relationships, marriage, and abundance this month, and you are making strides in your love life. You have both of these opposing forces on your side and are being recognized for the love you are while also receiving the love you want. This month, overall, is about focusing more on the positives in your world and letting your heart have its joy. Before December comes to an end, there is a New Moon in Sagittarius, and this is the perfect opportunity to create the plans you want to see through next year, especially when it comes to your work life, colleagues, business ventures, and health.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
The scales of karma are balancing, and they are balancing in your favor this month, Leo. December is your month of truth, and of seeing it clearly in your world. The Sun is in your house of romance, pleasure, and happiness for most of the month, and it’s time to relax, be in the present moment, and allow what is meant to be, to be. With a Supermoon in your 11th house of manifestation as December begins, this is a powerful month for seeing your dreams come to fruition, and for feeling like the intentions you have set this year are finally here for you now.
Mars also moves into your 6th house mid-month, and this is the perfect energy to have to move into the new year. You have extra energy at your disposal right now and are feeling fearless with what is possible for you and your daily routine. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in a fellow fire sign, Sagittarius, and this is a breakthrough moment for you and your heart. December, overall, wants to show you how loved and supported you are and will be doing so in magical, unexpected, and concrete ways.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
December is a month of victory, Virgo. You are showing up and experiencing some new successes in your world that move you forward on your path in life. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career as we begin the month, the effort and intentions you have made this year come into full bloom, and you are being recognized for who you are and the good work you have done. This month is all about showing up and allowing yourself to be seen and loved, knowing that you deserve the support and opportunities you are receiving.
Mars moves into Capricorn on December 15, which brings the passion and excitement into your love life, hobbies, and little pleasures in life that light you up. You want to have fun this month and are going to be walking into the new year with this fearless, happy, and spontaneous energy within you. Before the month ends, Venus also enters Capricorn, and in this same area of your chart, you have a lot to look forward to and believe in right now. Overall, December wants you to be happy and will be doing everything possible to make that happen for you. This is your month to shine, Virgo.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
December is a month of opportunity for you, Libra. New doors open, and you are financially making breakthroughs this month because of it. December begins with a Supermoon in your 9th house, and you are getting a clearer view of where you have been making strides in your life and how it has all brought you here to this present moment of freedom. This month is showing you what happens when you are fearless with your purpose and when you believe in yourself and what you are worthy of.
Moving further into December, Mars moves into your 4th house of home and family mid-month, and you are closing out the year in your safe spaces. You are spending more time with your loved ones and taking the time to quiet your mind and listen to what your heart has been telling you. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, happening in an area of your life that deals with communication. This is a great time for getting the answers you have been looking for and for feeling more clear-headed and confident about the decisions you are making as you move into the new year.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
Patience is a virtue this month, Scorpio. December is all about remaining patient and vigilant with what you are creating in your world, and knowing that the universe has your back. It’s time to be reminded of the power of hope, and this month is an opening to greater clarity in your life. There is a lot of energy in your financial zones right now, and this is providing you with new opportunities and new insight; however, the speed at which things come about for you may feel daunting. Keep your head up and eyes focused on what you want and know that you are more than worthy of receiving it.
With Mercury in your 2nd house of income this month, December is a good time to plant new seeds and to think about where you want to be financially a month from now or even a year. This month is asking you to think bigger and to think more long-term so that you can set the appropriate plans into motion now. We also have a New Moon in your house of income before the month ends, and this is when you will see more of your dreams come to fruition in this area of your life, and have more opportunities to build. Overall, December will be teaching you a lot, Scorpio.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius Season is here, and there is a lot in store for you this month, Sag. December is all about what you are dedicating yourself to. It’s about setting your intentions and putting the work in to back up your dreams, and about getting things in order so that when the new beginnings come, you are ready for them. The Sun and Venus are in your sign for most of this month, and there are a lot of eyes on you right now. You have the potential to create a new beginning for yourself, and it’s time to invest in yourself, your love life, and your dreams.
Mercury moves into Sagittarius on December 11, and this is giving you another opportunity to see through some of the plans that you had initiated in November. Mercury was retrograde in your sign last month, and there may have been some disruptions to your vision and plans for the future, and now this energy is turning around for you. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in Sagittarius, and you are walking through new doors fearlessly. You are catching others by surprise by your growth this month, and you are thinking a lot about your purpose, future, and plans for the new year.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
December is all about the vision, Capricorn. You are moving through a lot of changes and transformations this month, yet they are giving you a chance at a new beginning in the process. You are focused more on the future and what goals you want to manifest for yourself right now, and are ready to let go of what hasn’t been working for you. With the Sun in your 12th house of closure for most of December, this is your time for healing, but remember, healing doesn’t have to be isolating or boring; you can thrive while you renew, and you are this month.
Mid-month, the excitement picks up for you, and you are feeling more energized than you have in a while. Mars moves into Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and you are being proactive with your goals, intentions, and passions. You are a force to be reckoned with this month, and you are making things happen for yourself with confidence. Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21 this year, and this is definitely speeding up your healing process. You are breaking free from what was, and with Venus also moving into Capricorn before the month ends, you are leaving this year in high spirits and with love opening a new door for you.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
December is all about community, creativity, and manifestation, Aquarius. This is the month to work together with others to help bring your dreams to life. You are in a space of inspiration, empowerment, and beauty, and are creating more of this energy around you and in your world. Look out for what support comes your way this month and know that you don’t have to do everything alone to succeed. With the Sun in your 11th house of manifestation and friendship, your intentions are coming to fruition, and it’s time to celebrate with the people you love and to own how far you have come this year.
On December 19, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, lighting up your life in all of the best ways possible. This is your New Moon of freedom, victory, and magic, and you are seeing new beginnings appear that you were once just hoping for. Before the month comes to an end, Venus moves into your 12th house of closure, and after an active and successful month, you are ready to relax, heal, and give your heart some of the attention it has been asking for. You are moving into the new year with the need to release and renew what hasn’t been working in your relationships, and you are finally ready to.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
December is a big month for you, Pisces. You are making some huge accomplishments this month, and are feeling like everything you have been through this year has been worth it for these moments that are coming to fruition for you now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career and reputation for most of the month, and this is where a lot of your focus is right now. You are claiming your successes and putting yourself out there in ways that not only serve you, but that inspire others as well.
Neptune officially goes direct on December 10, after being retrograde in your sign since July, and you are finally seeing things a little more clearly. You are feeling renewed inspiration and passion in your life, and your intuition is your strongest asset right now. Before December comes to an end, we also have a New Moon in your 10th house of career, and what happens now not only changes things for you in the present, but it also opens new doors and what is possible for you in the new year as well. Overall, you are on top of your game this month and are owning the joy and empowerment you feel.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
I already know that this one is gonna hurt a few feelings. The reason why I say that is because, if there is one thing that (many) folks are going to take if they are looking to get a good night’s rest, it’s melatonin, chile.
How do I know? Well, aside from the fact that some people in my own world are hooked on it, it’s also been reported that as many as 27 percent of Americans rely on this particular supplement to catch themselves some nightly zzz’s. That’s why, when I peeped that a particular study about melatonin was damn near viral, I decided that I absolutely needed to use my side of cyberspace to get the word out.
You see the title of this piece. Unfortunately, it is not an exaggeration. If you give me a moment, I will try to explain what is going on and how you should move, going forward, if melatonin is something that you have been relying on in order to get a good night’s rest.
What Is Melatonin?
GiphyOkay, so what exactly is melatonin? It’s actually a hormone in your system that your body produces in order to regulate your circadian rhythm/sleep cycle. Since melatonin tends to kick in 1-3 hours before you turn in at night, that is actually why “losing an hour” (of sunlight) during this time of the year (check out “Is The Drama Of The One-Hour Time Change All In Your Head?”) can throw off your sleep patterns a bit.
If your body doesn’t seem to have enough melatonin naturally, you might find yourself taking a melatonin supplement in order to increase your melatonin levels, although it should go on record that melatonin is also used to treat seasonal depression; a form of reflux disease (GERD); migraines and headaches; fibromyalgia, and even certain types of anxiety. Melatonin also has a reputation for helping to regulate menstrual cycles and slow down the aging of skin and hair. Something else to keep in mind? When melatonin is in supplement form, oftentimes, it is synthetic, which means that it is made in a lab.
Okay, so clearly, melatonin is needed and, as a supplement, it has its benefits.
Then there is the other side of the story. One that just recently came out.
Why Is the Supplement Currently a Cause for Alarm?
GiphyGeeze. There really is no telling how many times I have shared one of my all-time favorite quotes in my content here: “The excess of a virtue is a vice.” Aristotle is the author and it is so very true — including when it comes to melatonin usage. Because here’s the deal: If you are relying on a melatonin supplement to get some sleep, it’s important to note that most health experts say that you shouldn’t take it for more than 1-2 months, tops.
One reason is because melatonin shouldn’t be a “solution” to your sleep problems, so if you can’t get rest without it after several weeks, it really is time to see your doctor. Another reason is because melatonin supplements do have some potential side effects including nausea, vomiting, irritability, restlessness and disorientation. And then there is what has recently come out about it: the possibility of heart failure and even death.
Wild, right? Here’s the deal about that. Did you know that, according to the American Medical Association, the FDA doesn’t regulate most supplements? So, in the case of melatonin, specifically, while one brand might contain a certain amount of it, another may have a ton more. And when someone uses melatonin, consistently, for 12 months or more, they put themselves at a whopping 90 percent increase of heart failure over those who don’t take the supplement at all (the same goes for individuals who have two melatonin prescriptions filled within 90 days of each other vs. those who don’t). Something else to keep in mind? People (involved in the study) who took melatonin were 3.5 times more likely to be hospitalized for heart failure than those who don’t use the supplement too.
Since this is relatively new research, experts are trying to get to the root of why all of this is the case; however, one cardiologist did say that sometimes insomnia itself is the result of an underlying health issue; sometimes one that has to do with one’s heart. So, taking melatonin might further mask a health problem that needs to be immediately addressed. Sleep apnea is one that he mentioned.
These are pretty alarming results, no doubt. Now does this mean that you should avoid melatonin like the plague altogether? Eh. It’s more like you shouldn’t be using it for more than a couple of months. You should talk to your doctor if you are “treating” your sleep issues with it. And it’s always best to find more natural approaches to getting things that you need into your body. When it comes to melatonin, specifically, I’ve got a few ideas.
Other Ways to Get More Melatonin into Your System
GiphyOkay, so what are some other approaches to getting melatonin into your body?
Eat foods that are high in melatonin. Some of them include almonds, fish, milk (which is why a cup of warm milk tends to help), mushrooms, grapes, pineapples and eggs.
Stay in the light as much as possible during the daytime. Something that I like is for it to be rainy, dark and cold (whatever haters — LOL). That’s why I had to adjust the twinkle lights in my living room during the daytime because your natural melatonin levels react to darkness. So, if you’re in the dark all day, that can have your levels all over the place come nightfall.
Make sure that your room is hella dark. Remember what I just said about darkness? Well, even dim light can suppress your melatonin levels. This includes your phone’s screen, okay? So, when it’s time to go to sleep — the darker your room is, the absolute better.
Go easy on the java. It doesn’t really make sense to drink coffee at night since it’s a stimulant; however, even if it’s your jam throughout the day, 1-3 cups should be your limit and definitely earlier in the daytime. The reason? Some studies reveal that caffeine has a way of lowering your natural melatonin levels.
Have more sex. I don’t know too many people who don’t have a GREAT night’s sleep after sex. One reason why is because certain hormones within the body increase during the act; one of them is — yep, you guessed it — melatonin.
5 Other All-Natural Sleep Supplements to Consider
GiphySo, now that we’ve unpacked the current issue with melatonin supplements, if you’re wondering if there are any other sleep-based alternatives for you to consider, the answer is “yes” and here are a few of ‘em.
1. Magnesium. Something that I am forever going to be a fan of is the combination of magnesium, calcium and zinc. All work together really well to calm your nerves, so that you can sleep more soundly. When it comes to magnesium, specifically, it helps to regulate your natural melatonin levels while also relaxing your muscles, so that the quality of your sleep improves.
2. Vitamin D. Vitamin D makes the list because there are studies which say that vitamin D deficiencies are linked to certain sleep disorders. This makes sense when you factor in that vitamin D helps to create natural melatonin, it helps to keep your circadian rhythm where it needs to be and it also reduces bodily inflammation (which can also affect sleep patterns).
3. CBD Oil. Although the FDA doesn’t (currently) consider CBD oil to be a supplement, it tends to be marketed as one which is why it also made the list. Since cannabidiol (CBD) is widely used for to bring relief to pain and anxiety, that is why many enjoy using it as a sleep agent as well.
4. Roman and German Chamomile. Did you know that there are different forms of chamomile? Well, the ones that help with sleep (most) are Roman and German. That’s because both contain a flavonoid called apigenin that has a sedative effect to it. When it comes to this suggestion, individuals oftentimes prefer it in tea form.
5. Glycine. If you’ve never heard of glycine before, it’s an amino acid. When it comes to sleeping, a lot of people like it because it’s been proven to help you fall asleep faster, it soothes your muscles and joints and it also helps you to stay asleep once you fall asleep.
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I know that reading something like this can potentially freak you out. Again, if you’re not downing melatonin like candy and you’re not on it for months and months at a time, you should be fine. If you are on edge, hit up your doctor; they will be happy to explain things further and deeper, I’m sure.
In the meantime, if melatonin is your thing — moderation, please.
After all, the supplement was supposed to be a temporary “fix.” Never a permanent cure.
Which is really what the study is reminding us of.
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