It's always good to not only seek financial freedom, but to achieve it, and when you can make a few extra coins from the comfort of your own personal laptop or computer, that's even better. The options online might seem endless, but there are a few things to consider before pursuing a money-making venture or opportunity that is solely based online. It's telling that recent Pew Research Center findings show that 24% of Americans reported making money from a "digital platform economy." And by 2023, the projected gross volume of the digital-based gig economy is expected to hit more than $450 billion.
If you haven't already jumped into an online-based side hustle, business, or career and you're still looking for more reasons, we offer 10. Check out how to make money online, with a key emphasis on fun and savvy:
1. Sell, sell, sell.
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We're not talking about posting photos of your current living room furniture in a last-minute plight to get the rent money here, either. (That's definitely not fun, and oftentimes it's more frustrating than successful). Let's take things a step further. We're talking about offering creative works such as art, crafts, graphic works, fashion designs, photography, or templates. We're talking about trading stocks or selling products and services you actually love and care about. And you don't have to reinvent the wheel here. Try platforms like Shopify or Etsy that take the legwork out of website design and e-commerce tools, try affiliate marketing, or sign on to be an online influencer or team seller for your favorite brand.
Of course, you can still also make money as an online sales professionals for major companies including Google, GrubHub, and Neiman Marcus, making up to $84,000 a year.
2. Become a consultant.
True, there are a lot of coaches and consultants out there, but why not use the skills you've built working at your 9-to-5 or earning degrees to help individuals, small businesses, entrepreneurs, and nonprofits? You would be hired to pinpoint an issue, analyze a problem, and offer solutions via a projected plan, and you can offer these skills via your own free website (try Wix, WordPress, or About.me). You can also use Instagram, YouTube, or Facebook to showcase your knowledge, build community, and attract clients, or you can work from home for companies who need to fill this role. Oftentimes, you don't even have to be the person executing the solutions plan. You're just the mastermind.
And please think outside the box on this in terms of what this could look like for you (i.e. using your graphic design skills to consult on a new logo or website rebrand or your journalism degree to offering project management consultations for church blog projects).
3. Build community and capitalize.
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If you're a creative or personality who loves to build a vibe, who has a specialized skill, who caters to a niche crowd, or who is passionate about a specific issue, this is perfect because you can use your passions and unique abilities in a variety of ways. Brands and nonprofits will actually pay you to not only expand their audiences and draw more people to their products, causes, and services, but they will pay you for access to the community that you've built through your own content creation or creative direction.
They will also pay top dollar for the skills of creators who are able to tap into markets they've had difficulty reaching or who have the skills, methods, and tools they do not have. You'll want to be sure that the missions and values of any brand or org you work with match those of your brand and community, of course. So get those creative projects, advertisements, vlogs, and photoshoots out of your head and on somebody's computer or smartphone! You could rock out to making thousands of dollars if things pan out. You don't necessarily have to be an "influencer" with thousands of followers either. If you're savvy, great at showcasing who you are online, and are able to market yourself via pitch competitions, job openings, or meetings, you can still do this and be successful.
Major companies also pay a pretty penny for full-time community engagement roles, to the tune of up to $98,000 per year.
4. Learn coding, web design, or digital graphic arts.
Again, this is all about doing things you actually enjoy, so if you're not into creating beautiful imagery, concepts, animation, apps, digiprints, or games online, go ahead and skip this one. Also, you don't really have to know the ins and outs of programming or tech to do some of these jobs. Some successful app builders and game creators, for example, actually outsource the parts of the process that they're not great at (or have no interest in doing), so if you have a concept and want to bring it to market, go for it!
Digital graphic arts can be used for a multitude of things (like how this artist uses them for apparel), so, again, think outside the box on how these skills can be used to make money. If you want to brush up on your DIY design skills or simply want to learn something new in order to monetize coding, try Udemy or Codecademy and then flip that into your piece of the $100,000 per year salary pie for a career change.
5. Rent or source valuable spaces or items.
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This makes sense for someone who has a fabulous home, backyard space, garden, garment or shoe collection, or office and has the flexibility to offer such items and spaces to others for a fee. The fun factor: Managing and witnessing how your spaces and items can be the cool-factor catalyst for events such as photo shoots, weddings, birthday parties, anniversary dinners, or ad campaigns. Your home could be the backdrop of a fabulous Halloween shoot (like this one Janelle Monae shot at designer Dani Dazey's spot) or you could source fab items for campaigns or projects (like how this power couple of Blk Vintage did for Issa Rae's Insecure.) This might be more of a hybrid offline-online gig, but it can still provide the time and creative flexibility you crave with the major aspects of operation being web-based.
6. Get into gaming.
Yes, you can get paid to play games, and though there's a lot of spam out there in terms of information on legit companies, you can find legit opportunities to make money this way. Try popular platform Twitch (and don't forget to read the rules and get to know the tax implications of earnings or donations) or you can try apps that pay you for how much time you spend fooling around with a game. (Check out reviews and do your research before downloading or participating.)
Another avenue is to create a YouTube channel---where all you do is test out, review, or simply play games---and build an accompanying Patreon where viewers can offer donations or pay for memberships to view specialized content.
7. Create adventures for others.
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For outgoing types who still want to be able to tap into the introvert who would rather work online, making life that much more interesting for everyday folk by creating experiences or adventures is ideal. Airbnb offers a platform for doing this, but you can also set out on your own to create private picnics, plan parties, lead excursions, coordinate trips, or add to the offerings of others who provide specialized goods and services.
Take a nod from this entrepreneur, who offers exotic fruit tastings in Montego Bay, Jamaica, for example. If you're not into actually managing experiences or dealing with people, you can be the creative thinker and coordinator to turn dreams into reality, for a fee, corresponding only via the web and offering packages.
8. Chef it up.
A love for cooking, creating dining experiences, or providing diet and nutrition insights is a must for this one, and you can provide all of this from the comfort of your home. If you like vegan food, have a knack for creating recipes in a way that no one else has, know a thing or two about food chemistry or nutrition, or simply want to provide a space for the content you want but don't see, get up and offer it. You can make money selling recipe downloads, meal plans, or virtual consulting, and you can cultivate a client base that you're passionate about. You can also become a virtual nutritionist, food specialist, or culinary teacher. The online food community is growing, so get in where you fit in.
9. Build in a dance or fitness platform.
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Sis, don't sleep on this. Billboard reports that the global dance music industry raked in $3.4 billion in 2021, and the fitness industry has reportedly hit almost $100 billion. We're not about that scarcity mentality over here, so there's clearly money to be made. If you love to dance, have experience, or just love to stay active and see results, this might be perfect for you. Go ahead and offer virtual classes, start that YouTube, or get into a gym or private space of your own. You could even host via sites like Zoom, Skillshare, and Teachable are great places to start. (You could even try OnlyFans if you dare.) Read the fine print on profit percentages, usability, and additional features like membership management.
10. Just sit...
Nah, not that, sis. House or pet sitting can not only be fun, but it can offer some spice to your life in terms of the opportunity to experience new things and diversify those experiences. Platforms like Nomador and Housecarers have been raved about among the OG house sitter tribe, and for the pet lovers, there are sites like Petsitters or Rover. You can also take a look at Care or TaskRabbit to find gigs. If you're living that nomad life, just want a chance of routine or scenery, or want to enjoy the company of an animal without the commitment—and get paid for it—this is worth a try.
For more job search tips, career advice, and profiles, check out the xoNecole Workin Girl section here.
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Some say that the Catholic church deemed it to be the only “non-sinful” position, and folks followed suit. Others believe that it’s tied into “patriarchy” since a man being on top puts a woman into a submissive receiving position (I mean, the Bible does tell wives to submit to their husbands, and sex is referenced for married couples, so that tracks — Ephesians 5, Colossians 3:18, I Peter 3:1-7, Genesis 2:24-25, I Corinthians 6:16-20). There are even stories about missionaries teaching people of African, Native American, and Chinese ethnicities that any other position is wrong and so those people came up with the term “missionary position” to make fun of the missionaries (chile).
Whatever the actual backstory is, what we know for sure is the missionary position continues to be super popular (although leave it to millennials to knock it out of first position and replace it with doggystyle these days), a great way to cultivate emotional intimacy (more on that in just a sec) — and it is oftentimes perceived as hella boring.
That last point is what I’m gonna address today. Because since it is indeed a great way to connect with your partner, it makes it easier to hit “your spot” (the G-spot, to be exact), and it’s also easy on your body (you know, if the desire is there but your limbs are not exactly cooperating), in my eyes, the missionary position needs to receive the proper respect that it deserves — and the best way to do that is to give it a few, perhaps much-needed, “upgrades.” Here are 15 of ‘em.
1. Do Some Eye Gazing Before Anything Else
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Recently, I was talking to a male friend of mine who told me that he doesn’t do casual sex in the missionary position. After asking him how he is subtly able to even pull that off (another article, another time), I then wanted to know the method behind his madness: “It’s too intimate and vulnerable. I need to be in something serious with you to be that…into you.”
One might say that literally putting your member into a woman’s vagina is “into her,” yet I digress. Instead, I’ll just focus on the fact that when they say that eyes are the windows to the soul, there is definitely some truth to that. And when it comes to cultivating intimacy with your partner, there is a practice known as eye gazing that can help to connect the two of you in a very special way.
In fact, there are studies to support that you can analyze how someone feels about you by looking into their eyes, you can increase your level of attraction to them by looking into their eyes, and you and your partner can go up a new level in trust if you look into each other’s eyes as well.
How long should the eye gazing last? Some experts say that the goal should be for five minutes while taking deep breaths in between. While doing that might feel awkward at first, look at it this way — y’all are gonna be face to face for a while anyway, right? Why not take the exchange of energy to another level while you’re doing it? And why not get into this mind of headspace by eye gazing as a form of emotional foreplay?
2. Bring Some Jasmine, Ylang-Ylang or Lavender and Vanilla
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One of the best things about the missionary position is it encourages you to shut out the rest of the world, ignore any distractions and really focus on your partner. Matter of fact, a sex therapist once told me that one of the perks of this particular position is it significantly decreases your chances of you and/or your partner fantasizing about other people during coitus (hey, it happens…way more than people care to admit too).
Something that can help to keep you and your partner centered on one another only is the scent of jasmine, ylang-ylang, and a combo of lavender and vanilla. As a bonus, all are also sensual, calming, and relaxing too. You can add a few drops to a carrier oil (like sweet almond or grapeseed) and create a DIY massage oil. You can sprinkle some of them onto your bedding. You can also add a few drops into your sexual pressure points for a nice surprise as far as your partner’s sense of smell goes.
3. Pull in (More) Pillows
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For some reason, I can’t find it now (sorry!), but a few weeks ago, I was cracking up at a video of a guy who was challenging his girlfriend to get into the position of being on top like a man and pushing for more than a minute straight. She failed miserably (it really was hilarious!). After I sent it to a few male friends, one wrote back and said, “Y’all have no idea what being on top can do to a brotha’s back sometimes.”
A workaround that will make everyone happy? Bring in some more pillows. It will elevate your body so that he won’t have to bend over quite so low. Plus, it will help him to penetrate you more deeply, which is almost always a good thing.
You can use the pillows that you already have (they should work just fine). Or you can invest in a sex pillow. They tend to be a bit firmer so that you don’t have to be slippin’ and slidin’ all over the place. Glamour did you a solid by providing a list of some of their favorite sex pillows here; Self did the same by providing their best-of-the-best list here.
4. Light Some Candles
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Back to the eye thing real quick. Yeah, I don’t know how y’all are gonna be able to stare deeply into each other’s eyes if it’s pitch black in the room. And here’s the thing about letting some light shine in; there was a study conducted that said when a light box (like the kind that’s used to treat depression) is brought into a man’s space, it can increase his levels of sexual desire. The reason why is it has a way of boosting his testosterone levels.
However, if you don’t want to feel like you’re standing — well, lying — in a room that has the ridiculous lighting that is in department store dressing rooms, go with candlelight instead. A soft glow can still help him to see your shapes and curves and the two of you to look at each other yet because everything with candles is way more subtle, it can help you to feel less self-conscious if you’re not as confident in the sex department as you would like to be (check out “10 Sensuous Ways To Boost Your Sexual Self-Esteem”).
5. Add Some Flavored Lube
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Although pretty much all of us have heard the saying, “The wetter, the better,” at this point, this tip is a shout-out to the safe sex crowd (since reportedly, only one-third of men and one-quarter of women actually use condoms. SMDH). If you want to make bringing rubbers into a mix a much more pleasurable experience, go with some flavored lubricant. Although you might only think of its use in the context of oral sex (more on that in a bit), dabbing some on your neck (so that he can taste something sweet-er when he kisses you there) or on your wrists or forearm (so that he can lick them while your hands are pinned back) can be a truly welcome surprise.
And what are some of the best-tasting ones on the market these days? No worries. I got you:
6. Modify the Position…a Bit
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As we continue, I will be — no pun intended — deep diving into some tweaks that can be made to the standard missionary position in order to intensify sexual pleasure. For now, I’ll just say that spooning face to face, allowing your partner to pin your legs back, having sex while standing up, letting him ride cowboy (which means he’s literally in the position that you are typically in during the cowgirl) and your partner lying horizontally over your body instead of vertically — these all are twists to the missionary that could cause you to hear “missionary position” with new levels of excitement.
7. Apply the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)
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Speaking of modifying positions, what do y’all know about the Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)? If you’re staring at your screen like, “What in the world is that?” it’s when your partner gets into the downward-facing dog yoga position while you’re on your back in the missionary one. This causes your partner’s penis to stimulate your clitoris as they are entering you and sometimes as they are going in and out. The (main) benefit is if you’re someone who finds experiencing a vaginal orgasm challenging, you significantly increase your chances of experiencing one since your clitoris will be stimulated during the act of intercourse.
Another bonus is “doing the CAT” can help a man to last longer if premature ejaculation is something that he is prone to experiencing.
8. Get Out of the Bed/Bedroom
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The older we get, the more bedroom sex makes sense. After all, beds were specifically designed to support our bodies. Still, if you’ve been in a long-term relationship for quite some time, just like approaching the missionary position the same way every time can get old, so can always being in your bed — or bedroom.
You’re paying good money to utilize more than just one room in your home, so why not maximize each one’s potential? And as far as the best room in the house to get busy, I recently read an article that said bathrooms and balconies are fan favorites, followed by closets and utility rooms. Personally, I’m with what a Men’s Health article stated, which is the living room is probably the most comfortable (and common) — yet whatever you do, just try and think outside of the box sometimes. In this case, think outside of your bed and bedroom to see what other places are comfortable for you both.
9. Or…Get on the Edge of the Bed
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So, what if you're like, "I hear you, but it's gonna be the bed for me, more times than not?" I hear you. There's a way to upgrade the missionary position and how you use your bed at the same time — have him pull you to the edge of the bed and either penetrate you by lifting your legs over his shoulders, or the two of you can just have "regular sex" that way (so long as he's good at maintaining his balance and keeping you from falling off at the same time).
The perks? For one, if his penis is more on the average side (check out "Sex Hacks For Different Kinds Of Penises (You Heard Me Right)"), he will be able to penetrate you more deeply. Another benefit is if you like to bring vibrators into the mix, it will be easier to do (especially if your legs are up). Another is this is one way to get your clitoris, vagina, and cervix all stimulated all at the same time — in fact, this is why another name for the edge of the bed is "the edge of heaven" (makes sense).
10. Keep Your Bra on — Kinda
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As a doula, whenever new moms talk to me about easing back into sex, it's very common for them to talk about how "conflicted" they are when it comes to their breasts, especially if they are breastfeeding. It makes complete and total sense when you think about the fact that first, our breasts are ours alone, then men come in and use them as foreplay, and then here comes a baby who uses them as a food source. A top suggestion that I give is that moms invest in some super sexy nursing bras. That way, if they want to still keep their breasts covered up, there is something pretty for their partner to look at.
Along these same lines (kinda sorta), consider keeping your own bra on during missionary — well, kind of. Either get one that is extremely sheer or pull your breasts out so that they are hanging out over the front of your bra. Why? Well, a lot of men have told me over the years that while nothing really tops a woman in her birthday suit, the peek-a-boo effect of breasts over bras and crotchless panties turns them on in a way that they can't fully articulate. Plus, if you're a bit insecure, this can help you out like it can a new mom (believe it or not), especially if you're going to bring some lighting in (like I suggested earlier).
11. Enjoy His Nipples
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Speaking of breasts…although not everyone finds their nipples to be the ultimate erogenous zone (check out “So, What If ‘Typical Erogenous Zones’ Annoy TF Outta You?”), don’t automatically assume that your partner is one of them. The reality is men have the same glands and nerve endings that we do when it comes to their nipples which means a lot of them find their nipples getting some TLC to be super erotic and enjoyable.
A husband client of mine once told me in a session that he wished that his wife would lick on his nipples more, especially during intercourse, because it takes his orgasms to a completely different level. When his wife heard that, she asked, since she’s not a contortionist, how could she possibly pull that off in a comfortable way? This actually brings us to the next point.
12. Try Some Kama Sutra Piercing
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On the heels of what I just said, what do you know about the Kama Sutra approach known as piercing? It’s kind of similar to CAT, only with a twist. This time, a man should position his shoulders to where they are directly over your head — that way, as he is moving in and out, you can get direct clitoral stimulation.
How is this any different from the CAT? Well, with that position, his arch is backed farther away from you. Plus, it tends to feel the most amazing upon entry only. On the other hand, piercing makes it possible for you to do the whole nipple thing that we just talked about while he’s able to stimulate your clitoris more intentionally the entire time. A win/win for everyone, wouldn’t you say?
13. Engage in (Some or More) Edging
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Another way to almost guarantee that your orgasms will be next level is to engage in a bit of edging. If you're familiar with the word, yet you've never exactly researched and/or tried it before — let's just say that it's the kind of act that requires some stamina (on his part) and some self-discipline (for you both). The reason why I say that is because edging is all about having intercourse, your partner stopping for 15-30 seconds, and then you both starting back up all over again.
And why would someone want to send themselves through this mind of, in a way, mind f-ck? It builds anticipation and excitement, which can actually make your orgasms super intense. Hell, it could even lead to multiple orgasms if y'all play your cards right. Anyway, you can learn more about edging by reading "All About Edging: The Ways Prolonging Pleasure Makes For Mind-Blowing Orgasms" on our platform.
14. Stop. And Switch.
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As I was in the process of penning this piece, I asked a few people to share why they felt that some people take a ho-hum attitude about the missionary position. The general consensus was if that’s all you do the entire time, things can get old really quick.
Good point. That’s why it’s also a good idea to keep in mind that, just because you start off in missionary, no rule says that you have to stay there (unless you happen to live in Florida because, apparently, only the missionary is legal there; Florida stays wilin’ out). No rule says that once you start having sex that you can’t do some other, eh hem, activities in between positions too.
My vote? Be down to get into some oral, especially if you want to increase your chances of having an orgasm. A “good giver” is gonna get off so much on pleasuring you that you probably won’t have to worry about him needing to maintain an erection even if he spends a few moments downtown (cue SWV’s song). Oral sex intermissions are so unsung. Whew, chile.
15. Moan ‘N Whisper
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The last and final point. "Dirty talk" is always gonna be a winner when it comes to sex, period; however, when you're in the missionary position, it's really amazin' considering you're both right next to each other's ears.
And what if dirty talk isn't something that you've exactly mastered (yet)? The key is to not overthink it. Moan. Whisper the things that you like being done to you (or that you want him to try). Ask him what he likes (or wants more of). When he's got it right, praise him. If he's got a pet name, use it. If you want to go with his government name, he probably won't mind that either.
The main point here is to remember that great sex incorporates all of the senses — touch, taste, sight, smell, and hearing. And since words are our most effective form of communication, you can't go wrong with using some in the bedroom…especially when you're giving it all that you've got in the missionary position…especially as you're adding in some of these upgrades that I just shared.
Enjoy, sis. EN-freakin’-JOY!
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