August is the time to remain hopeful about what is on the horizon for you. With the Sun officially in Leo and the light shining on what makes you truly happy, August is about connecting to your inner power. You have the power to co-create your reality, and this is the month to claim that. Ground yourself in the present moment with gratitude, and get excited about what you are creating for yourself and the path you are walking on right now. With Mercury entering Virgo as the month begins on August 4 through August 25, the clarity is there to make some significant improvements, and insights, and to find order in what’s felt out of place.
Venus enters Leo and there is a Full Moon in Aquarius on the same day, August 11. With these two signs opposing each other on the zodiac wheel, balance comes into play right now and La Luna is reminding you how to balance the heart, with the mind. Leo wants to feel love, and Aquarius seeks to understand it. Venus in Leo is about taking center stage in your life and showing up for love. Venus will be in Leo until September 5, and love gets an extra spice right now. The Full Moon in Aquarius is the Full Sturgeon Moon of the year, and it’s about finding your flow rather than force. During this Full Moon focus on what you wish to release, and what you want to grow closer to and make more connections from.
Mars makes a significant transit in August, as it enters Gemini for a lengthy seven months. Every few years Mars goes retrograde, making its transit in one particular sign significantly longer than its usual few-month transit. Mars will be moving into Gemini on August 20, 2022, until March 25, 2023, and will be retrograded from October 30, 2022, until January 12, 2023. Mars in Gemini is active, unpredictable, and insightful. Mars in Gemini is curious about everything, and it’s best to think things through before jumping in right away during this time. Mars in Gemini energy can get impulsive, but with the right flow and intentions, this can be a time of great progress, development, connection, and communication.
On August 22, Virgo Season begins, and the Sun moves into the earthy goddess of the zodiac. While the Sun is in Virgo we renew, improve, and give because we can. There is unwavering strength about Virgo that takes us far and makes health, well-being, and self-value the priority. Uranus goes retrograde in Taurus on August 24, and it’s about expecting the unexpected, and grounding yourself in the faith that you can handle whatever life may throw at you. There is a New Moon in Virgo on August 27 before the month ends, and this is when those moments of hope and clarity will be coming through, and when following your inner guidance system is rewarded.
August is the month to trust, take note of your progress, and do the things that are making you happy now, but also in the long run.
Aries Monthly Horoscope for August 2022
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleAugust is a month of clarity for you, Aries. You are seeing the vision clearly, and paths are opening up for you to move into these new opportunities you see on the horizon. The spark has been lit, and you have the universe supporting you every step of the way. With Venus moving through your 5th house of romance and happiness for most of August, you are connecting with the things that bring you the most joy in life. August is all about making your happiness the priority and allowing all else to align with this sense of magic.
The Full Moon on August 11 is in your 11th house of friendships, community, and hopes and dreams in life and this is a good time for seeing your manifestations bloom. Intentions you have been setting over the past month will be coming full circle during this time. Before the month ends your ruling planet Mars moves into your 3rd house of communication for the next seven months, and you are driven by connection, self-expression, and inspiration.
Taurus Monthly Horoscope for August 2022
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of new opportunities for you, Taurus. You are bringing forth new intentions and creations in your life, and seeing the reality of things coming together for you. With the Full Moon on August 11 occurring in your 5th house of romance, you are seeing new opportunities develop in love this month, and are also getting clearer on what your heart wants. This is a month of rebirth, and intentions coming to fruition.
Moving into August, Uranus goes retrograde in your sign, shaking things up a bit. With Uranus moving retrograde in your 1st house of self for the rest of 2022, you are being guided towards self-reflection, and discovering the way you see the world around you. It’s all about being the leader of your destiny right now and choosing the way you want things to go for you. You have the power, Taurus.
Gemini Monthly Horoscope for August 2022
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleConnect with the heart space this month, Gemini. August is a time of emotional renewal for you, and removing any clutter you have been feeling in your life. This is the month to get honest about how you have been feeling and to choose love. As you take the time for your healing and health this month, you develop a solid foundation for your dreams to grow. With a Full Moon in Aquarius mid-month August is a time of making new discoveries, gaining clarity, and defining the path forward that you are looking to see through right now.
Mars makes a very important transit into your sign this month on August 20 and will be in Gemini until early 2023. If there was any time to take action, honor your passions, and renew your spirit, it is now. By the end of the month, there is a New Moon occurring in your 4th house and this New Moon is a time of seeing new opportunities sprout in the home, family, and within your foundations and support systems in life.
Cancer Monthly Horoscope for August 2022
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a strong month for communication, Cancer. The focus is there for you to make real progress and experience the breakthroughs that you have been looking for, and it’s all about tapping into the guidance within. As you communicate freely from the heart, you align with divine receptivity, allowing miracles to unfold in your life. With Venus in your sign until August 11, you are entering August with love on your side, and an open heart.
As you move more into the month, there is a Full Moon in your house of commitments, and a New Moon in your house of communication before the month ends. August is all about finding the balance between the emotional ties and past experiences that you are letting go of right now and moving forward with your clear intentions today. This is a month to regroup and use your voice, Cancer.
Leo Monthly Horoscope for August 2022
Leo
Kyra Jay for xoNecoleYour season is here, and you do well in the spotlight, Leo. August is about rewriting your story and seeing yourself as the divine co-creator of your reality. Notice where in your life you have been giving over your power, and make the effort to call back your power this month. Focus on perspectives that make you feel confident and nourished, and release any feelings of lack that keep you stuck in place. This is the month to stand in your courage and live your truths.
Venus, the planet of love, moves into your sign from August 11 until September 5, and you are entering one of the best times of the year for love. Remain hopeful when it comes to your intentions here, and focus on what you do have rather than what you don’t. The Sun moves out of your sign and into Virgo on August 22, giving you some breathing room to take in what you have learned over the past month and release anything keeping you away from peace.
Virgo Monthly Horoscope for August 2022
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleAugust is a time of honoring the cycles of your life and preparing for a transformation. This isn’t the month to look back and ponder on the past, it’s a time to move forward now, Virgo. You are ready to dive into some new experiences, and in August you are clearing the way, making space, and creating new plans so that you can move forward more effortlessly and with fewer roadblocks. You are being guided this month to have some more fun with the journey that you are on and to make time to just dance, be, and live your dreams.
Virgo Season begins on August 22, and it’s your time to shine and experience the blessings of a new day, Virgo. Virgo Season this year is all about remaining patient, but also about owning your value and how far you have come, knowing that it’s only going to get better for you. The New Moon of the month is occurring in Virgo on August 27 as well, and you are leaving August feeling renewed, supported, and in tune with all that is.
Libra Monthly Horoscope for August 2022
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are building your world, Libra. August is about taking as much time as you need for your peace and your growth, and about protecting your energy. Remember that your inner guidance system is always available to you, and many of the answers you have been seeking without can be found within right now. By releasing what hasn’t been working for you, you can strengthen the bonds and experiences that have, creating more solid foundations for your intentions to manifest.
The Full Moon in your fellow air sign happening mid-month is bringing the focus to your heart, and you are ready to let go of relationships that have gone past their expiration date. With Mars moving into your 9th house for the next six months, you are entering a wild adventure this month, and this is an adventure that’s going to take you to new places and introduce you to new faces. You are free, Libra.
Scorpio Monthly Horoscope for August 2022
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleScorpio, you are entering the garden of your dreams this month. August is your time of connecting to what paradise, happiness, and fulfillment feel like for you, and making this the dominant energy in your life. You have been working on letting go and allowing in more love, and your transformations are evident. Keep creating from the heart and broadening your perspective, and on the New Moon on August 27, make sure to write down your intentions and focus on what you wish to manifest at this time.
Venus will be moving through your 10th house of career for most of August, signaling a time of feeling the love, connection, and possibly some weak spots on the work front. Public life and reputation are being highlighted this month, but overall with Venus in the mix here, you are being received especially favorably right now. Remember that you are worthy and deserving of great things, Scorpio.
Sagittarius Monthly Horoscope for August 2022
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAugust is a fun month for you, Sagittarius, and this is the month to have some fun! Plans are following through, friends are connecting, and you are feeling a good social buzz in your life in August. You are making some new discoveries and honoring what is lighting you up inside, and it’s attracting happy experiences and opportunities into your life. The Full Moon on August 11 is when you are going to be seeing a journey complete, and new clarity on where you are headed unfold.
Mars makes an important transit into your 7th house of love and relationships this month, where it will remain until 2023. You are entering a seven-month-long journey of love, and things are going to be emotionally heightened for you for the time being. New connections are entering your life and you are deciding what paths you want to embark on, and who you want to take with you. August is your time to play, unite, and celebrate your life.
Capricorn Monthly Horoscope for August 2022
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleSupport is coming in for you this month, Capricorn. August is about divine intervention and allowing the universe to support your dreams. Sometimes you have to get out of your own way and out of your head, to see the real miracles and gifts that are right in front of you. This month you are getting those moments of clarity and you are receiving the messages. Divine guidance is here to support you right now, and your angels are with you, Capricorn.
The New Moon this month is occurring in an earth sign such as yourself, and you are flowing well with the energies that are flowing through the world as the month ends. You are moving into new territory at the end of August and creating some travel plans and future journeys that you feel inspired to take right now. Remember that the more you release, the more you allow; and the more you trust, the less you have time to doubt. You are safe.
Aquarius Monthly Horoscope for August 2022
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAugust is a healing month for you, and you are finding your balance right now, Aquarius. There has been loss and there has been gain, and you are finding your balance between this sense of transformation you are experiencing at this time. Remember to give yourself a break from overthinking this month, to look at things from the perspective that they happened for a reason, and not punish yourself for not seeing something clearly sooner. You are everywhere you are supposed to be, and nowhere you are not, Aquarius.
The Full Moon this month is occurring in your sign on August 11, and you are seeing some powerful culminations appear in your life in mid-August. You are being ushered into light and away from any density you have been feeling in your life, and sometimes this means letting go of something you once thought was supportive of your journey. Give yourself the space and freedom to trust your path, and not judge yourself in this process. All is well.
Pisces Monthly Horoscope for August 2022
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleYou are moving forward fearlessly this month, Pisces. August is a month of aligning with your strength and taking intentional action toward your goals. Ask yourself this month, “What would I do if I knew I was supported?” Then allow yourself the freedom to do just that, aligning with the love and empowerment of your heart. You are breaking new ground this month and overcoming previous challenges and obstacles, Pisces.
Mars moves into your 4th house of home and family where it will remain from August 2022 to March 2023, and you are putting the extra effort into your safe spaces and close loved ones during this time. You are entering a new journey where there is more energy and activity in the home, and your passion is flowing towards what feels safe and secure to you. With a New Moon in your opposite sign of Virgo before the month ends on August 27, the people who nurture and support your heart are coming in to make it known to you in August.
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A big part of the clarity that is coming through this month is due to Neptune going direct in Pisces on December 10, after being retrograde here since July. With Neptune now direct, we are able to see our inspiration and creativity a little more clearly, providing the perfect energy for dreams and manifestation to be built upon. The smoke is clearing, and it’s up to you to decide what you want to do with this newfound clarity that this transit is bringing. Mercury also moves back into Sagittarius on December 11, which is great for communication and clarity, and the adventures you were trying to see through at the beginning of November come around for you again with greater purpose and support.
On December 15, Mars enters Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and this is the extra push we need to make important changes and to be on the path towards greater abundance, stability, and prosperity. Mars in Capricorn takes care of business, and we have extra energy at our disposal during this time to do so. This transit is an ideal time to focus on your career or financial goals for next year and to start putting some of these plans into motion now. A few days later, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be in Sagittarius on December 19, and this is the perfect New Moon to manifest.
The energy is high, magic is in the air, and it’s all about moving forward with the new beginnings that are inspiring you and bringing you joy to think about right now.
Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21, and this earth sign energy is how we heal, gain closure, and build new foundations in our world. With Venus also moving into a Capricorn a few days later, there is something about peace, prosperity, and security that we are gaining in life and in love as we close out the year, and this is what we need right now. This month is about reflecting on what was, letting go of old hurt, and renewing. December is an ending and a new beginning in one, and there is magic in this space to be created.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what December 2025 has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
December is a full-circle moment for you, Aries. You are seeing the gifts in your world and have a lot of gratitude for the way things have come about for you as of late. There are culminations in your world that are providing you with more abundance, stability, and community, and you are exactly where you are meant to be this month. With the Sun in a fellow fire sign and in your 9th house of travel for most of the month, December is a good time to get out of your comfort zone, explore the world around you, and get your body moving.
Mars, your ruling planet, also makes a change and moves into Capricorn on December 15, which will fuel your inspiration and power in your career space. You are making a lot of professional progress as we close out the year; however, make sure to be more mindful of your competitive drive right now. The New Moon on December 19 is the perfect opportunity for you to create some new plans and goals when it comes to traveling, education, and where you want to gain some new inspiration in your world. Overall, this is a month of things coming together for you serendipitously.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
December is about trusting your intuition, Taurus. You have a lot on your mind this month, and it’s best to delegate, communicate, and allow yourself some relief by opening up to someone and not feeling like you have to hold everything in. As we begin the month, we have a Supermoon in Gemini happening in your house of income, and the plans and projects you have been building here come to fruition for you now. This is the time to gain clarity on your financial world and to take a look at what spending habits you want to let go of here as well.
With Venus in your 8th house of shared resources for most of the month, you are doing a cleanse on your commitments, partnerships, and business ventures. You are taking a look at what you want to dedicate yourself to in the future, and what commitments you may need to let go of now in order to be in the space you truly want to be, both financially and within some of your relationship dynamics. Before we end the month, we have a New Moon in this same area of your chart, and it’s time to look at the opportunities that are presenting themselves and to trust your internal guidance system to lead you forward.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
You are moving forward fearlessly this month, Gemini. December is your month of love, passion, and dignity, and you are owning the light that you shine. We begin the month with the last Supermoon of the year, happening in your sign, and you are stepping up to the plate. You are showing up, owning how much you have grown this year, and allowing yourself to heal while also acknowledging that you have done your best and you deserve to have fun in the midst of the changes you are creating.
Mercury, your ruling planet, is officially out of retrograde, and you can use this energy to the fullest potential now. With Mercury in your 7th house of love, it’s time to speak from the heart and to talk about the things that matter and that are inspiring you right now to your loved ones. You never know what kind of epiphanies you may have when you open up the conversation to others. Before the month ends, you have a New Moon in this same love area of your chart, and this New Moon is all about manifesting romance, commitment, and abundance in your world.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
December is an opening for more love, more joy, and more freedom in your life, Cancer. You have come to a place where you hold so much gratitude in your heart for where you are today and where your heart is shining, and things come together for you with more ease right now. With the Sun in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routines for most of the month, you are getting your ducks in a row while also putting more energy and effort into taking care of yourself, your priorities, and your well-being. This month surprises you in many ways, and it’s because you are showing up.
Mars and Venus both move into your house of love, relationships, marriage, and abundance this month, and you are making strides in your love life. You have both of these opposing forces on your side and are being recognized for the love you are while also receiving the love you want. This month, overall, is about focusing more on the positives in your world and letting your heart have its joy. Before December comes to an end, there is a New Moon in Sagittarius, and this is the perfect opportunity to create the plans you want to see through next year, especially when it comes to your work life, colleagues, business ventures, and health.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
The scales of karma are balancing, and they are balancing in your favor this month, Leo. December is your month of truth, and of seeing it clearly in your world. The Sun is in your house of romance, pleasure, and happiness for most of the month, and it’s time to relax, be in the present moment, and allow what is meant to be, to be. With a Supermoon in your 11th house of manifestation as December begins, this is a powerful month for seeing your dreams come to fruition, and for feeling like the intentions you have set this year are finally here for you now.
Mars also moves into your 6th house mid-month, and this is the perfect energy to have to move into the new year. You have extra energy at your disposal right now and are feeling fearless with what is possible for you and your daily routine. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in a fellow fire sign, Sagittarius, and this is a breakthrough moment for you and your heart. December, overall, wants to show you how loved and supported you are and will be doing so in magical, unexpected, and concrete ways.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
December is a month of victory, Virgo. You are showing up and experiencing some new successes in your world that move you forward on your path in life. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career as we begin the month, the effort and intentions you have made this year come into full bloom, and you are being recognized for who you are and the good work you have done. This month is all about showing up and allowing yourself to be seen and loved, knowing that you deserve the support and opportunities you are receiving.
Mars moves into Capricorn on December 15, which brings the passion and excitement into your love life, hobbies, and little pleasures in life that light you up. You want to have fun this month and are going to be walking into the new year with this fearless, happy, and spontaneous energy within you. Before the month ends, Venus also enters Capricorn, and in this same area of your chart, you have a lot to look forward to and believe in right now. Overall, December wants you to be happy and will be doing everything possible to make that happen for you. This is your month to shine, Virgo.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
December is a month of opportunity for you, Libra. New doors open, and you are financially making breakthroughs this month because of it. December begins with a Supermoon in your 9th house, and you are getting a clearer view of where you have been making strides in your life and how it has all brought you here to this present moment of freedom. This month is showing you what happens when you are fearless with your purpose and when you believe in yourself and what you are worthy of.
Moving further into December, Mars moves into your 4th house of home and family mid-month, and you are closing out the year in your safe spaces. You are spending more time with your loved ones and taking the time to quiet your mind and listen to what your heart has been telling you. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, happening in an area of your life that deals with communication. This is a great time for getting the answers you have been looking for and for feeling more clear-headed and confident about the decisions you are making as you move into the new year.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
Patience is a virtue this month, Scorpio. December is all about remaining patient and vigilant with what you are creating in your world, and knowing that the universe has your back. It’s time to be reminded of the power of hope, and this month is an opening to greater clarity in your life. There is a lot of energy in your financial zones right now, and this is providing you with new opportunities and new insight; however, the speed at which things come about for you may feel daunting. Keep your head up and eyes focused on what you want and know that you are more than worthy of receiving it.
With Mercury in your 2nd house of income this month, December is a good time to plant new seeds and to think about where you want to be financially a month from now or even a year. This month is asking you to think bigger and to think more long-term so that you can set the appropriate plans into motion now. We also have a New Moon in your house of income before the month ends, and this is when you will see more of your dreams come to fruition in this area of your life, and have more opportunities to build. Overall, December will be teaching you a lot, Scorpio.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius Season is here, and there is a lot in store for you this month, Sag. December is all about what you are dedicating yourself to. It’s about setting your intentions and putting the work in to back up your dreams, and about getting things in order so that when the new beginnings come, you are ready for them. The Sun and Venus are in your sign for most of this month, and there are a lot of eyes on you right now. You have the potential to create a new beginning for yourself, and it’s time to invest in yourself, your love life, and your dreams.
Mercury moves into Sagittarius on December 11, and this is giving you another opportunity to see through some of the plans that you had initiated in November. Mercury was retrograde in your sign last month, and there may have been some disruptions to your vision and plans for the future, and now this energy is turning around for you. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in Sagittarius, and you are walking through new doors fearlessly. You are catching others by surprise by your growth this month, and you are thinking a lot about your purpose, future, and plans for the new year.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
December is all about the vision, Capricorn. You are moving through a lot of changes and transformations this month, yet they are giving you a chance at a new beginning in the process. You are focused more on the future and what goals you want to manifest for yourself right now, and are ready to let go of what hasn’t been working for you. With the Sun in your 12th house of closure for most of December, this is your time for healing, but remember, healing doesn’t have to be isolating or boring; you can thrive while you renew, and you are this month.
Mid-month, the excitement picks up for you, and you are feeling more energized than you have in a while. Mars moves into Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and you are being proactive with your goals, intentions, and passions. You are a force to be reckoned with this month, and you are making things happen for yourself with confidence. Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21 this year, and this is definitely speeding up your healing process. You are breaking free from what was, and with Venus also moving into Capricorn before the month ends, you are leaving this year in high spirits and with love opening a new door for you.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
December is all about community, creativity, and manifestation, Aquarius. This is the month to work together with others to help bring your dreams to life. You are in a space of inspiration, empowerment, and beauty, and are creating more of this energy around you and in your world. Look out for what support comes your way this month and know that you don’t have to do everything alone to succeed. With the Sun in your 11th house of manifestation and friendship, your intentions are coming to fruition, and it’s time to celebrate with the people you love and to own how far you have come this year.
On December 19, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, lighting up your life in all of the best ways possible. This is your New Moon of freedom, victory, and magic, and you are seeing new beginnings appear that you were once just hoping for. Before the month comes to an end, Venus moves into your 12th house of closure, and after an active and successful month, you are ready to relax, heal, and give your heart some of the attention it has been asking for. You are moving into the new year with the need to release and renew what hasn’t been working in your relationships, and you are finally ready to.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
December is a big month for you, Pisces. You are making some huge accomplishments this month, and are feeling like everything you have been through this year has been worth it for these moments that are coming to fruition for you now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career and reputation for most of the month, and this is where a lot of your focus is right now. You are claiming your successes and putting yourself out there in ways that not only serve you, but that inspire others as well.
Neptune officially goes direct on December 10, after being retrograde in your sign since July, and you are finally seeing things a little more clearly. You are feeling renewed inspiration and passion in your life, and your intuition is your strongest asset right now. Before December comes to an end, we also have a New Moon in your 10th house of career, and what happens now not only changes things for you in the present, but it also opens new doors and what is possible for you in the new year as well. Overall, you are on top of your game this month and are owning the joy and empowerment you feel.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Things like what exactly? So glad that you asked.
How Serious Is the Relationship?
GiphyOkay, so if you’ve never heard of the “10-date rule” before, it’s basically the belief that after 10 consecutive dates with someone, it’s time to come to the conclusion that you are officially in a relationship with them. Personally, I have lived, observed and counseled enough people to say that when it comes to knowing where you stand with another person, you shouldn’t assume one damn thing — you should 1000 percent communicate your thoughts and listen to theirs in return.
That said, it is a bit different (wouldn’t you say?) if you’ve been out on a couple of dates with someone vs. if you’ve been with them for almost a year. So yeah, the first thing to ponder is how serious the dynamic is. Because honestly, if things are new and fairly casual, I don’t see how ending things, whether it’s the holiday season or not, is going to matter much — one way or another.
Remember, the holidays tend to be a very emotional time; however, if there isn’t a huge emotional investment going on, I don’t think anyone in a casual situation is going to look back and think that you are a villain (or Grinch), just because you’d prefer not to go on a third date with them. Good lord.
Next point.
Do You Want to Slow Down or End Things Entirely?
GiphyAre you totally over him or is it more like there are some things about the situation that you want to step back and ponder before making any major decisions about the future? If the answer is “B,” I recommend talking it over ASAP; especially if the two of you have been seeing each other for a while at this point. I say this because, whether you all are at the “meet the family” (or have already met the family) stage or not, when people are in a relationship, they tend to factor one another into their holiday plans — and it’s hella inconsiderate to not take this into account when it comes to the guy who you are seeing.
That said, I will say this: It’s mighty interesting that you are choosing this time of the year for this type of relational self-reflection — so, while you’re on this break, think about what it symbolizes.
For instance, are you slowing things down right now because you’re not sure if you want to go into a new year with him or are you doing it because spending the holidays together tends to represent that a relationship is far deeper than you want yours to be right now? Because really, you could’ve gone with the summertime (for example) not the holiday season to make this type of move…so, if your “pump the brakes” time is now, chances are, there is some subconscious subtext going on that you really should get to the root of.
Actual Holidays Are a DEFINITE No-No
GiphyYou would think that this wouldn’t need to be said yet since I once experienced a guy who decided to be a complete a*shole on my birthday some years back — yeah, let’s address it. Isn’t it interesting that one study revealed that during the first week of December, searches for how to break-up with someone go up by a whopping 60 percent? Then, if you add to that the fact that the holidays can sometimes be pretty stressful — well, while most folks with a heart and a conscience wouldn’t dream of breaking up with someone on an actual holiday, sometimes the pressure of everything can create the perfect storm for it to happen anyway.
That said, a super-duper throwback song by Neil Sedaka entitled, “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” — and it absolutely is. Know what makes it worse: It happening on a holiday, so that every time the day rolls around, it’s bittersweet because you remember that someone broke up with you then.
Listen, just because you may not love or even like someone (in that way) anymore, that doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t treat them with some common decency and respect. Besides, don’t you also want your own Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day to be as unscathed and drama-less as possible?
Whatever you’re gonna do, you’re grown, chile. If you want my advice, though — put good energy into your future holiday seasons and avoid breaking up (or even having deep decisions) on actual holidays.
Definitely Keep the Golden Rule in Mind
GiphyProbably, until the end of time, there are going to be debates about whether karma is real (in the sense of it being scientifically proven). While quite a bit of data says that it isn’t and that it tends to be adapted and promoted by certain faiths more than anything — if you do believe that you reap what you sow (Galatians 6:7-8), at the end of the day, that is pretty much what karma is all about and, as I oftentimes say, karma (or sowing and reaping) don’t have expiration dates. In other words, what you have said and done can manifest in ways and at times that you never saw coming. A cautionary tale, indeed.
So yeah — even if you’ve been with ole’ boy for a while now, you’ve tried to make it work and you just don’t see a future for the two of you anymore, however you decide to end it, definitely keep the golden rule of doing unto others as you would want them to do unto you in mind.
Be as kind as you are honest. Be as empathetic (putting yourself in his shoes) as much as you possibly can. Avoid gaslighting him about how he feels about your decision. Be clear about how you’d like things to be moving forward (for instance, if you actually DON’T want to be friends afterwards, there’s no need to say it). And try not to do anything that will make him feel used — like waiting until after receiving a Christmas gift to end it (you’d be amazed by how many people do exactly that. SMDH).
The thing about break-ups is, live long enough, and you’re probably going to be on the giving and receiving end of one. So, even if you’re not really emotionally invested in your relationship anymore, be kind to your future self and be as respectful as possible throughout your…relational transition. Because even if you don’t feel like he deserves it, your feelings up the road, with someone else who may do the same thing to you…absolutely do.
Timing Is Everything
GiphyA bishop by the name of Fulton J. Sheen once said, “Patience is power. Patience is not an absence of action; rather it is ‘timing’ it waits on the right time to act, for the right principles and in the right way.” And while it might seem really challenging to figure out when the RIGHT time to break up with someone is — “right” is about using good judgment, right is about conforming to certain principles (like integrity and fairness), right is about doing things in order. Now with that in mind, is the RIGHT TIMING now or should it be later?
Only you can really answer that yet what I will say is if your mind, body and spirit aren’t on the same page — figure out why before making any moves. Oh, and if it’s simply about fear — girl, whether it’s November 30, December 9 or January 14…break-ups are always going to be uncomfortable. It’s about knowing what’s best for you and then ending things in a way that is as respectful, timing-wise, as possible (again, due to the whole karma thing).
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‘Tis the season and sometimes “out with the old” means leaving a relationship behind. Just make sure that you move with wisdom and discernment and not hypersensitivity and knee-jerking.
That way, you can look back on every holiday season with as little regret as possible.
Due to how you handled things. Including a (potential) break-up.
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