The COVID-19 pandemic has brought new meaning to the word 'superhero.' Superman and his homies can't hold a candle to the healthcare professionals, grocery store clerks, bank tellers, mail carriers, truckers, non-profit employees, civil service workers and the many more brave people who are at the forefront through this era of heaviness. Every day they sacrifice their wellness for the safekeeping of mankind.
In under two months, the United States is now the epicenter for the coronavirus disease with the number of cases rising daily. Shelter-in-place mandates and social distancing policies have become the new normal as we work together to flatten the curve. Then, there are the extra special people who work double-digit shifts delivering the best care to their patients. No matter the conditions – lack of supplies, overflowing hospitals, less time with family, sleep deprivation – they show up and they give every cell of their being to saving lives. Maybe the new normal is extreme resilience with a healthy cup of self-care.
We know that self-care has never been more important than right now because you can't pour from an empty cup. So we asked eight healthcare professionals what self-care looks like for them. Keep reading to see how they remain motivated along with some bright spots that push back the darkness.
Rose-Krystel Hegngi
Photo Courtesy of Rose-Krystel Hegngi
Emergency Medicine Resident Physician
Baton Rouge, LA
"I recently started yoga (something I've been wanting to do for years). I'm in the very beginner stages but it's so rewarding. My work schedule hasn't really changed at all, but now on the few off days I have each month I take time to stretch and meditate since it's easy to do at home now that gyms are closed.
"The overwhelming support from companies locally and nationwide offering support and goods and free food for those working during this time has been amazing! Recently, we got an email stating medical students at LSU were volunteering to help residents with daily household responsibilities such as running errands, grocery shopping and even childcare while we work if we're feeling overwhelmed. The good that hard times bring out in other people makes me smile!
"The idea that I am doing what God has called me to do, helping others [keeps me going]. Wouldn't have it any other way— it's a privilege and an honor."
Nonee Ngazimbi
Photo Courtesy of Nonee Ngazimbi
APRN/Nurse Practitioner
West Hartford, CT
"This has been a high-stress time for healthcare workers especially when we see our colleagues, young or older, dying from COVID-19. Everyone is anxious and morale continues to dwindle as we come to the realities of this pandemic; not enough personal protective equipment (PPE) and not enough system support to support an influx of ill patients when they come.
"At work, one of my colleagues led out in a mindfulness exercise the other day. Another, brought in an aromatherapy lotion we can use periodically throughout the day to center our energy. I have been working on adequate hydration, eating well, and being intentional about being a helping hand to my friends, family, and colleagues. My colleagues and I started a group chat were we share fact-based information daily such as the newest research and policies that are coming out; helps to ease the anxiety. Lastly, my skincare routine remains the highlight of my personal day. Fresh out of a steamy shower, I always lotion my body from head to toe. I then indulge in a step-by-step facial routine to keep my skin firm, clear, and hydrated. These things are keeping me grounded and secure spiritually, physically, and emotionally right now.
"Local businesses and even former patients have poured out their love and support for us by sending us treats, lunch, dinner, cards and way more! It feels so wonderful to know that you are supported by your community. Also, we have received donations from everywhere with masks and other personal protective equipment since we are nationally short. That has been a huge blessing in the midst of this chaos.
"Every now again, I am reminded why I entered into this helping profession. My experience in various intensive care units in the last seven years has prepared me in every way for such a time as this. Praise the Lord I have the knowledge and the skills and now it really feels like [it is] my duty to humanity to utilize those to bless others."
Khaalisha Ajala
Photo Courtesy of Khaalisha Ajala
Assistant Professor of Medicine Emory Univ. & Grady Memorial Hospital Nonprofit Founder of Heartbeats & HipHop, Inc. Atlanta, GA
"I'm practicing self-care by doing my best to stay prepared during this COVID-19 pandemic where the U.S. now has the highest cases in the world. I care directly for patients who have or are have been tested for COVID-19. How do I try to stay prepared? I try to stay up-to-date on reputable medical literature, remain in daily communication with hospital leadership on the plan for our patients on a daily basis, stay as protected with proper personal protective equipment to decrease my chances of contracting COVID-19 and practice good hand hygiene.
"Also, I cry when needed, rest when needed and know that I can be vulnerable to/with my colleagues and husband as we all try to fight this pandemic and take care of our patients who are battling COVID-19 and other illnesses that bring them to the hospital.
"I'm also a DJ and when I'm not working at Grady or doing global health work in Ethiopia or Thailand, DJing is a mental health practice for me. My bright spot was tuning into D-Nice's IG live session after a really challenging day at work. I danced with 100,000 of my closest friends and witnessed the healing power of music. As a doctor and a DJ, I loved it. For a moment, I was actually the patient and 'the DJ saved my life!' He saved many others by having a social distance party. Go figure!"
Ashley Cockrell
Photo Courtesy of Ashley Cockrell
Family Nurse Practitioner
Houston, TX
"I have an attitude of gratitude for my current health and for my job – it is the mainstay each day and what keeps me sane. After a long day of caring for others, it is even more important to take care of myself. I've learned that self-care is giving the world the best of you and not what's left of you. As soon as I get home from work, I take my puppy for a walk and enjoy the outdoors. I also unwind by lighting my favorite candles and enjoying my favorite music in my favorite place in the house – the couch! It is equally important for me to decompress from the day and clear my mind by engaging meditating practices. My favorite mindfulness apps include Calm, Insight timer, and Headspace.
"One moment that made my heart smile was after performing COVID-19 testing for a patient who appeared severely sick. She informed me that she stood in line at several other testing sites for hours and was eventually turned away due to high volume. Once she arrived, she was extremely thankful because not only did we get her in and out fast, but we were able to accommodate her family members who were at risk as well. She was extremely grateful for the service we provided her and complimented that we truly helped break down barriers to access care. It always brings a smile to my face when I know I've helped someone and served my mission.
"Knowing that I'm fully operating in my calling and my purpose to serve communities and help others keeps me motivated. It's fulfilling and rewarding to know that I am making an impact not only on the people I see daily, but the world at large. The genuine support, encouragement and prayers of my family and friends keeps me going. Because of my faith and support system, I'm feeling recharged and full of hope, positivity, resilience, love, and light. I am extremely grateful!"
ChiChi Okpaleke AKA Dr. Chi
Photo Courtesy of Dr. Chi
Family Medicine Physician
Tampa, FL
"Initially, as a physician, self-care was honestly not on my list of things to consider when being on the frontline in combating COVID-19. My concerns were very patient-centered, and making sure they were being treated appropriately. But it took reality to set in for me to realize that if I am not healthy, how will I be able to treat my patients effectively? These last several weeks have been stressful and I needed to buckle down and control my mental health.
"It's easy to get caught in the panic mode with all the media outlets and uncertainty on what the future holds, but I found for me that my faith never fails me. I vowed to be intentional with my mental, physical, and spiritual health; purposely integrating my workouts with yoga, prayer, and meditation. Even with all the chaos and noise, this is an opportune time to personally slow down and embrace the process of life.
"Even through this storm, a simple moment of hearing my nephews pray with the family on the phone, really made my heart smile. My family motivates me to keep striving in medicine. I'm inspired to continue to treat patients, because I know they deserve someone they can trust with their health, especially during difficult times like these. Life is hard, but the bright side is 'This Too Shall Pass.'"
Sheena Williams
Registered Nurse
Philadelphia, PA
"I have been maintaining a sleep schedule by staying active during the day and having nightly dance fitness workouts on IG live. I think it's important to have a schedule and not get into the habit of being up very late and throwing off your body. When I feel anxious or overwhelmed I pray or meditate and just list the things I'm grateful for to get my mind off of the chaos.
"I think this time home is a blessing in disguise. I rarely have time to watch a favorite show, read a book or work out. This time home has helped me achieve goals, sort through life and force me to be still. I'm enjoying time with my son and the random moments I have to read a book or relax.
"I'm motivated by my son. He needs me more than ever. I'm also motivated by my patients. They need me, so I have to stay healthy and positive for them. Our lives and how we do things will change forever, we have to support each other."
Brittany Grimes
Photo Courtesy of Brittany Grimes
Registered Nurse
Nashville, TN
"As a full-time travel nurse, I'm used to having four days off a weeks to run errands, relax and spend some QT with myself. However, with everything shut down, I can't leave the house for anything more than groceries. So, I started doing yoga and it has been a game-changer for me! I do it every morning on my off days and every night before the days I work. I am less tense, I sleep better, get up earlier and I'm more productive. NAMASTE, sis! I have also found a way to stay creative during this time by practicing calligraphy (modernly knows as 'hand-lettering'). I get lost in it for hours at a time and it makes me so happy. Oddly enough, having to be in the house during this pandemic has made me a lot more active. Although it is stressful, I am grateful.
"As an ICU nurse, I rarely get the chance to talk and interact with my sedated patients. My brightest moment recently was with a woman who had a tracheostomy. She had just gotten her speaking valve and was finally able to eat. I sat with her, fed her, brushed her teeth, combed hair and we talked. Boy, did she talk! Before that, I was having the craziest day, but after watching her hear her own voice again, none of that mattered.
"Being able to see a critical patient make a complete turnaround at the hands of my coworkers and I is what keeps me going. It is not easy and I cry more than I like to share but I will never take it for granted."
Kristamarie Collman
Photo Courtesy of Kristamarie Collman
Family Medicine Physician
Virginia
"In medicine, the mental and physical demands of the profession can be extremely challenging and tiring. Coronavirus and COVID-19 have added increased stress and uncertainty and therefore it's more important now than ever for me to look after myself. As the saying goes, you have to 'secure your own oxygen mask before assisting others.' At the end of the day, I cannot be the best doctor for my patients if I'm not performing at my physical and mental best. To do this, I try to keep a healthy diet, incorporate physical activity, and get regular sleep and rest. With constant reports being released daily about deaths and illness associated with COVID-19, it's important to protect my mental space by scheduling media and social media breaks.
"This is where a period of time where I silence my phones, disconnect from social media and turn the TV off. I use this time to either read for pleasure, journal my feelings, take a mindful walk or simply meditate to check in with my body, reflect and quiet my mind. I have also turned to activities which I used to practice when I was younger but lost touch with during my schooling and training. These activities include playing my old guitar and learning choreographed dance, both of which help me to unwind and brings me joy.
"Throughout the chaos, there have been moments that made my heart smile. A friend of the family is aware that I work in medicine and that we are experiencing a nationwide shortage of equipment such as masks. I came home unexpectedly to a package filled with a few hand-sewn masks along with a thank you note for being a doctor during this time. It reminded me that even in distressed times, human good can still prevail.
"I am constantly asked what motivates me and pushes me to keep going. For one, I know my purpose is so much bigger than me. I know that I'm helping to pave the way for many other individuals who are coming along on the journey to medicine. I am also helping people in a very real way every time I go into work.
"Sometimes I'm the first doctor they have seen in years or the first black female physicians patients have had or either way, I'm helping them in some way and they show appreciation. I will admit, I am also intrigued by the fact that I am experiencing and living through a pandemic and want to be able to tell my future children their mom was helping on the front lines!"
Did you know that xoNecole has a podcast? Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to join us for weekly convos over cocktails (without the early morning hangover.)
RELATED
Pluto goes retrograde in Aquarius from May 4 until October 13, and this will be a time of remembering your power when it comes to your purpose, innovations, and the ability to attract support into your life. Mercury moves into Taurus on May 10, making this a good time for negotiations, creating new plans financially, and sticking to your word on something that holds value to you. The Full Moon of the month occurs in Scorpio on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year, signifying growth and seeing the beauty in your life.
This Full Moon is all about letting go of what doesn’t feel authentic or resonate with you emotionally, and about experiencing more closure and healing within relationship matters.
Your May 2025: A Monthly Overview
Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and we enter air sign energy, which is good for communication, business, and coming up with inspiring and new ideas. On May 24, Saturn enters Aries, beginning its new transit where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn in Aries is bold, direct, and straightforward, but so are its lessons. There is a gift in resilience and finding your strength during this time, and this transit will show you where your power is, but it may challenge you to confront self-limiting behavior in the process.
Mercury enters Gemini on May 25, and Mercury loves being here. Mercury in Gemini is the creative genius, and this is a month of aligning yourself with this energy. On May 26, we have a New Moon in Gemini, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want a communication breakthrough in your life, and what new ideas you want to start planting the seeds for. This is a good New Moon for networking, exchanging ideas, having more fun, and getting inspired.
Article continues after the jump.
We Are/Getty ImagesMay 2025 Horoscopes for Every Zodiac Sign
Keep reading for your sun, moon, and rising sign below to see what May has in store for you.
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThe impact from April is finally behind you, and you get to move forward this month, Aries. After a month of retrogrades and Eclipses, you are starting to see the progress of what you have been working towards financially this year. The Sun is in your 2nd house of abundance, self-confidence, and values this month, and you are putting your dreams here first.
With Venus also in Aries for the entire month of May, you are feeling the support within and without this month, and this is a beautiful month unfolding.
On May 24, Saturn enters your sign, beginning its transit in Aries, which will last for the next few years. Saturn is the master of tough love, and you are going to be learning a lot about yourself during his time and going through a growth spurt. The New Moon of May is at the end of the month on May 26 and will be giving you the answers and clarity you have been looking for, highlighting open communication in your life. Overall, this is your month of fewer obstacles and more progress.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTaurus Season is officially underway, and you are the main character right now, Taurus. Remember that. This month is about trusting your intuition and the timing of things, and knowing that things are working in your favor. With Venus, your ruling planet, in your 12th house for the month, you are seeking a lot of closure and culmination right now and are healing what was. Mercury enters your sign from May 10 until May 25, and it’s all about the perspectives you are gaining right now.
Don’t be afraid to ask the important questions and get down to the bottom of things that have been worrying you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 7th house of partnership, and you are closing the door on what has not been working for you in love. You are seeing the clarity of what you need within your emotional world and how you want to navigate the changes you have been through here now.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a new beginning for you, Gemini. You have a lot of energy and vitality with you this month, and you are ready to accomplish some personal goals and intentions of yours. For most of the month, the Sun is in your house of closure and healing, and you are finding yourself rejuvenated from the transformations you have been through. Gemini Season officially begins on May 20, and with the Sun in your sign, nothing is holding you back from shining and living in your truth right now.
On May 25, Mercury enters Gemini until June 8, and Mercury loves being in your sign, as this is your planetary ruler.
Mercury in Gemini is forward-thinking, quick, and intelligent. You are coming up with solutions to previous challenges or obstacles, and overcoming something that has felt restrictive mentally. Before the month ends, there is a New Moon in Gemini on May 26, and this New Moon is one of the best times of the year for you to set your intentions and manifest your dreams. Remember you are worthy of what you are setting out to accomplish this month, Gemini.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCancer, this month requires you to slow down, take care of your health, and allow things to come to fruition the way they are meant to. There is a chance you could be overthinking more than usual this month, and you are being reminded that there is only so much that is in your control, and to give yourself some more grace. The Full Moon in Scorpio on May 12 will help you gain a little more clarity of the heart and is going to be a time of feeling the love and appreciation in your life.
Saturn enters your 10th house of career on May 24, remaining here over the next few years, and you are getting an opportunity to grow and discover where you may have been limiting yourself professionally, socially, or within your aspirations in life. This time is all about reminding yourself that you deserve recognition for the work you do, but that you must also be the one believing in yourself as well. On May 12, there is a New Moon in your house of emotional healing, and you are seeing the gifts of alone time, safe spaces, and tending to your creative inklings at the end of the month.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is an opportunity for a new beginning in love and progress within your emotional world, Leo. You are learning to trust your intuition more, and you are putting more of your energy into your heart’s desires. With the Sun in your 10th house for most of the month, you are shining in your truth and remaining confident in your goals in life.
Venus is in your house of adventure for the entire month, and this is a good time for experiencing romance while traveling or getting out of your comfort zone a little.
Saturn makes a significant move from Pisces into Aries at the end of the month and enters your 9th house. With Saturn here, you will be learning more about what mental growth and clarity mean to you, and this is a good time to dedicate yourself to higher education, traveling, gaining a new perspective, and honoring your integrity and values. The New Moon of the month is on May 26, creating magic within your friendships and community.
You are leaving this month with hope in your heart and new plans for the future.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a month of abundance and fruition for you, Virgo. Your dreams and intentions are coming to fruition, and you are owning that which you have created for yourself. With Venus in Aries, this is a good time for seeing support in your life financially, dedicating yourself to your commitments and responsibilities, and seeing the gifts in that. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication, and this is an intuitive time for you, giving you the strength needed to close the chapter on what you don’t resonate with anymore.
On May 24, Saturn enters your house of shared finances, rebirth, intimacy, and resources, and over the next few years, you will be learning the importance of connecting with people who truly have your best interest at heart, and not committing to what feels unstable. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your house of career, and this is a good time to manifest and set your intentions for where you want to see professional growth in your life.
Overall, May is about embracing your freedom while honoring the people and connections that help you grow and make you feel more secure in life.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a month of feeling empowered and ready to take on anything that comes your way, Libra. You are inspired by the progress you are making in your life right now, and with Venus in your 7th house of love, you are being well-received. This is a month of finding your balance between your path and the growth of your relationships, and there is a sense of support, harmony, and love in your life in May.
You are owning your authenticity and living in your truth fully, and this energy is magnetic.
However, Saturn also enters your 7th house of love this month, where it will remain for the next few years. Saturn empowers and helps you grow, but you can also feel a little more challenged within your relationships during this time. The more you can own your wants and needs, the more you can find vulnerability and support within your relationships. On May 26, a New Moon in a fellow air sign occurs and happens in your 9th house, creating a chance at a new adventure and an opportunity to discover some new inspiration.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is about believing in the impossible, Scorpio. It’s time to take a leap of faith in yourself and to remember your power. You are seeking a new beginning in your life, and with the Sun in your 7th house of love for most of the month, you are being supported and encouraged in the process. Pluto, one of your ruling planets, goes retrograde in your house of home and family from May 4 until October, and you are gaining clarity on the people and support systems you can rely on more.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on May 12, and this is the Flower Moon of the year. You are in full bloom and ready for whatever is next for you, and this is beautiful. Previous intentions and goals come to fruition for you overall in mid-May, and there is a lot to look forward to right now as you are getting excited about it all. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini in your 8th house, creating a sense of empowerment through what you are looking to change and transform in your life right now.
This month is about not being afraid to take more risks and doing things your own way.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is a beautiful month of magic, success, and good fortune, Sagittarius. You are feeling lucky this month and are attracting success to you in many different areas of your life. Venus, the planet of love, is in your 5th house of romance for most of the month, and you are enjoying your life, feeling the love within your heart, and expressing yourself freely in May. You are a magnet for your manifestations, and dreams are coming true for you this month, Sag.
On May 12, we have a Full Moon happening in your house of endings and closure, and you are closing out a big chapter in your life this month.
You are letting go of old pain or emotional experiences and choosing not to repeat a pattern that left you feeling hopeless before. On May 26, we have a New Moon in your sister sign, Gemini, enhancing your need for love, connection, and relationship development this month. This is a great New Moon to set your intentions for what partnerships you want to see grow, heal, and come to fruition for you. Overall, May is your month of fruition, balance, and believing in the magic in your life.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleMay is about slowing down and allowing yourself to find the answers you have been looking for, Capricorn. This isn’t the time to rush your progress or doubt where you are in life. The Sun is in your 5th house, and this is good for finding more time for fun, pleasure, self-care, and asking your heart what it needs. With Pluto going retrograde in your 2nd house of values and income, you are being reminded to hold yourself with integrity and to know that you are worthy of the things you are asking for.
The Full Moon on May 12 is a beautiful time to connect with loved ones or those who inspire you. The universe wants to show you that you are not alone this month and that you deserve to live a life where you can enjoy yourself more and manifest your dreams, rather than believing everything needs to be a challenge to be worthy. Saturn, your ruling planet, then enters your 4th house of home and family, and over the next few years, you are going to be rediscovering what home means to you.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleYour guidance for May is to trust that what is falling from your life or changing for you is doing so for your benefit, Aquarius. Trust that what is happening is happening for you and not to you, and don’t doubt that you will rebuild from this. With Pluto going retrograde in your sign from May 4 until October 13, you need a break from some of the confusion you have been feeling in your personal life, and you are getting a chance to gain a new perspective this month.
Use this time to get inspired by change rather than let it bring you down, and ground yourself in the present moment more.
Saturn enters Aries in May, where it will remain for the next few years, helping you grow in the areas of your life that have to do with communication, networking, transportation, siblings, and education. You will be learning a lot during this time and will be finding new outlets for self-expression and communication. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Gemini occurring in your 5th house of romance, pleasure, hobbies, and entertainment, and after a month of navigating endings, changes, and closures, you are ready for a fresh start and are receiving one in love now.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleAllow what is to be, be, Pisces. May is a month of allowing yourself to trust the timing of the universe and not giving up hope that things are going to turn out beautifully for you. On May 12, there is a Full Moon in fellow water sign, Scorpio, and this is a time to get inspired and see the benefits of closure. This Full Moon is about gaining a new perspective and not doubting what is clearer to you now, that you are worthy of a new beginning.
On May 24, Saturn moves into your 2nd house of income, and you are going to be moving through a journey of developing financially, and working on maintaining stability while building new foundations in your life. The New Moon in Gemini at the end of the month is about setting your intentions for your home and family life and creating some new energy here. Overall, May is your month of breaking ground on the things you want to create for yourself and trusting the timing of how things are unfolding.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
My response? Well, I’ll speak for myself personally and say I think that, although there is absolutely nothing wrong with shrinkage (it actually speaks to how healthy your curls and coils are), if you want to wear all-natural styles with as little of it as possible, cooler months are best. On the other hand, since the warmer seasons tend to have a lot more humidity in them, if you want to rock a straight(er) style, relaxing your locks makes more sense during the spring and summertime.
And, as life (and timing) would have it, the latter is where we are right now. So, if you are seriously thinking about chemically straightening your hair, although I totally get it, before you take the leap, please make sure to ask yourself the following five questions, just so you won’t have any regrets if you actually do.
1. Why Am I Doing It?
GiphyOne of my girlfriends? She has an incredible head of hair. I wanna say that her texture is probably hovering somewhere between 3b-4a, and it only takes her about six months to go from a bob to well past her bra strap. Anyway, although when I first met her, she rocked a relaxer, for about a decade, she then went completely natural. Then, one day, she announced to me that she was going back to the white stuff. When I asked her why, she said that although she loved natural hair, all of the time that went into the care and maintenance of it was starting to get on her nerves.
I ain’t got no lies to tell you: When she said it, I was devastated like it was my own hair, mostly because I had grown so accustomed to seeing her thick curly locks. Plus, I’m aware of some of the risks that come with relaxers (more on that in a sec). Still, it ain’t my head, and also, since she would flat iron her hair quite a bit without properly prepping it in order to avoid heat damage, it’s not like I didn’t see where she was coming from. I wanna say that she’s been relaxing her hair, this time, for about 4-5 years now. I’ve asked her if she has any regrets. She has been emphatic that her answer is “no.”
Me? I’ve been pretty natural for most of my adult life. I frame it that way because back when my hair was ultra short, I would sometimes put a texturizer in it (which is basically a mild relaxer, if we’re gonna be real about it). However, there have only been two times when I’ve taken the very clear relaxer route, and both were to achieve a particular hairstyle — once a straight short bob and another time a modified mohawk. The bob I kind of regretted because once I was “over it,” I had to cut my hair to get back to my natural texture.
The mohawk? Eh, not so much because the sides were super low anyway. Still, just like going from relaxed to natural is a transition (makes me think about the book and then filmNappily Ever After), so is going from relaxed to natural — which is why the first thing you should ask yourself is your reason(s) for relaxing your hair, so that you can also ponder the costs that come with making the choice.
2. Am I Aware of the Risks?
GiphyA few years ago, Glamour published an article entitled, “It’s My Hair and I’ll Relax It—Or Not—If I Want To.” Back in 2023, Essence published an article entitled, “Why Some Black Women Are Relaxing Their Hair Again.” Last year, Vice published an article entitled, “Black Women on Their Complicated Relationship with Relaxer.” As I checked them all out, that is actually what caused India.Arie’s song, “I Am Not My Hair” to come to my mind. At the end of the day, one of the most bomb things about our hair is how damn versatile it can be — how many options that we really do have.
Still, I would be pretty irresponsible if I didn’t mention in a relaxer-themed article that there is quite a bit of research that says that relaxers really aren’t the best for our overall health and well-being. For instance, last year, NPR published the article, “Thousands of Black women are suing chemical relaxer makers over cancer risks” which was probably, at least partially inspired by, “First Large Study of Hair Relaxers Among Black Women Finds Increased Risk of Uterine Cancer” (NPR also just recently published an article about shampoos, lotions and eyelash glues that are harmful to our health as well).
In 2023, NBC News featured a piece entitled, “What Black women should know about hair relaxers and their health;” one of the things it said was “postmenopausal Black women who have used chemical hair relaxers more than twice a year or for more than five years have an increased risk of developing uterine cancer.” Know what else? It should also go on record that, beyond cancer, relaxers pose the threat of uterine fibroids, premature births, and even infertility.
Should that “scare” you into not relaxing your hair? Eh, it should make you more aware of the risks. That said, I would also be amiss if I didn’t say that there are some relaxer options that are certainly safer than others (you can read more about those here). Still, if you knew that there were other ways to straighten your locks without “chancing it” when it comes to chemical relaxers at all, wouldn’t you want to at least…consider them?
This brings me to the next question that you should ask yourself.
3. Have I Researched Other Straightening Alternatives?
GiphyA few weeks ago, Who What Wear published an article entitled, “TikTok Says Becoming a ‘Straight Natural’ Is a Hairstyling Hack—I Asked an Expert for the Facts.” It naturally piqued my interest because that’s pretty much what I am: on wash day, I will blow-out my hair and then I will braid it up to keep it stretched, basically until it’s time to wash it again. Personally, it has served me well because it reduces tangling and chances for fairy knots to pop up, plus, it helps me to handle my hair more gently (because I’m not exactly the best at doing that).
This means that no, I don’t need or use a relaxer, even though I do prefer to wear my hair stretched out. Instead, I use a blow dryer. That’s one alternative to achieving straight(er) hair.
Some others?
- You can flat-iron your hair
- You can apply keratin treatments
- You can do a silk press
- You can put your hair in rollers
- There are quite a few straightening sprays and creams that can get the job done too (although you oftentimes need to use them with heat, and many contain silicones if those aren’t your thing)
BONUS: If you want to simply stretch your natural hair without heat, some options for that arehere.
Now, I won’t lie, a perk to going the relaxer route is your hair remains permanently straight, even in the roughest of weather conditions while these alternatives are temporary solutions (some lasting longer than others). However, if you want to go in between curly and straight without any potentially harmful chemicals putting your health at risk, now you know some other proven things that you can do.
4. Have I Fully Processed the Upkeep That Is Involved?
GiphyThe time it takes to sit up in a beauty salon. Chile, back when I was in college, that inspired me to teach myself how to cut my own hair (fades ‘n all) — that’s why, it’s been only a handful of times that I’ve been in a beauty shop since. And don’t get me started on the prices! In fact, I just recently checked out the current average prices for certain hair treatments in the US:
- Women’s haircut: $10-90
- Hair Color: $75-200
- Highlights: $20-200
- Styling: $10-65
- Permanent Hair Straightening: $40-425 ($425?!)
Now, to be fair, when it comes to seeing a professional for certain natural styles, here are some of the costs for that:
- Braids: $40-200
- Locs: $50-150
- Retightening Sisterlocks: $100-250 (and it’s recommended to do this at least six times a year)
However, natural hairstyles oftentimes tend to last longer, and you can do certain ones on your own. Meanwhile, getting a retouch? While some prefer to do it every six weeks, every eight weeks is typically the norm. Plus, it’s not just you’re getting a relaxer, right? Oftentimes, a cut and possibly a retouch of color is thrown up in there, too, and that can really add up.
Not to say that, even if you do your natural hair at home, some of the hair products are not the cheapest on the planet. Understood. All I’m saying, though, is — I’ve been doing my own hair for years, and the products that I use last for many months on end. Back when I was getting a relaxer, though? In the grand scheme of things, I was definitely spending more money overall.
And with this current administration that we have, chile…CHILE.
5. Have You Taken a Month to Make Sure It’s Not a Knee-Jerk Response?
GiphyRelaxers are a lot like tattoos in the sense that, once you get them, there’s no turning back. So, if you’re a naturalista who is thinking about putting the “cream crack” in, simply because you’ve had a few bad hair days — before you book a hair appointment or even go to a beauty supply store to get a ready-made relaxer to apply yourself, pause…to really think about what you’re doing.
And by “pause,” I recommend taking a good month, just to make sure that you’re making a logical decision and not just having an emotional reaction. Because again, once it’s straight, it’s straight until/unless you decide to grow your natural hair back out — and boy, is that a process (check out “The Truth About Transitioning From Relaxed To Natural”)…sometimes more of one than we considered before taking the cream crack leap.
____
Listen, you’re all the way grown, and when it comes to your hair, you certainly can do whatever the hell you want to do. That said, I did decide to end this with a feature from Only One Jess’s channel because…just look at our natural hair and all that it is capable of. Beautiful.
As I close this out, as with pretty much all things in this life, relaxed hair certainly comes with its own benefits. Of course, it does because, if there were none, who would have relaxed locks at all? All I’m saying is it does come with some “count the costs” to really consider, too, and I want to make sure that you always keep those in mind as well.
I’m hoping this article brought this main point home, so that if you do decide to go permanently straight (perhaps again), you can feel 100 percent good about your decision.
With — like the friend whom I mentioned earlier — not one single regret. From root to tip.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by L Julia/Shutterstock