

Women In The Mix: 4 Must Know WOC DJs Who Are Killing It!
After dancing my butt off at Everyday People's notoriously fun day party this past weekend, I was so proud to see so many great female DJs spinning on the ones and twos! As the divine feminine and gender revolution takes over our society, women are stepping into roles previously held exclusively by men.
I think it's important that women, and specifically women of color and QPOC get opportunities to succeed in industries that have been dominated by people with societal privilege. The world of DJing and music production make up two of these industries.
The DJ and music production industry has more diversity than it ever has before, yet awareness of this fact is still quite muted, and women DJ's are underrated. This read will spotlight four journeys and give more insights on why representation of WOC is important as told by four DJ phenoms.
DJ Demi Lobo @demilobo
DJ Demi Lobo is an LA-based DJ. She chose her stage name as her real name because she is an entrepreneur with multiple entrepreneurial ventures. So instead of choosing an artist name, radio name, author name, etc, she decided to go with DJ Demi Lobo, and it works for everything!
Her Style:
"When you hear me spin, you are going to hear your jams, and not just the current jams, I can play a hip-hop set, weddings, top 40, reggae etc...but my favorites are the sets where I can open up my catalogue and mix Cardi B with Busta Rhymes, Nicki Minaj with Mase, Biggie with Drake... If I close my eyes and envision those mixes, I'm ready to dance in my front room right now! Imagine the latest Future Song blended with 'Poison,' now that sounds like a challenge I want to try!"
Why Representation of Women in the DJ World is Important:
"Before I was a DJ, I was the youngest Radio Personality to ever be on 107.5 WGCI in Chicago, and before I was a Radio Personality, I was a Black pop recording artist. Going against the grain is in my blood. I feel like my purpose in life has always been to show those who look up to me, or even those who feel like their dream may be impossible, that it's not cliche, and you CAN truly do everything you put your mind to."
"Going against the grain is in my blood."
"If you look on any flyer for a club or an event, the majority of the time, the DJ is a male. In recent years, female DJs have been completely dominating the market (go us!). It is so important for my fellow ladies of color, to grab your fear by the horns, and chase after your dreams. There are clients now who seek out female DJs and producers, who will give the job to you JUST because they want to see other WOC win. Where there once was not, now there is a market for women to thrive in this industry. You just have the take the first step. I left my job on one of the biggest radio stations in the world to chase my dream of being a DJ in Los Angeles, so at this point, there is no roadblock that can come my way, that I will look at as an obstacle."
Her Greatest Accomplishment:
"I'd have to say playing at the grand opening of Ava Duvernay's new production studio in LA, Matt Barnes' "Athletes VS Cancer" event, and the grand opening of Ciroc Studios, just to name a few."
The Real on Song Requests:
"If we are at a wedding, I gotcha! Anywhere else, if I think it will be a good fit, I will mix it in. But if it is a random song you only hear in your shower, and you just want to hear it on loud speakers, then it will likely have to wait until next time (laughs)."
Kumi aka BAE BAE, @baexploitation
BAE BAE is another LA-based DJ. Her stage name used to be spelled "Bebe" like Bebe's kids, a classic cartoon show--but she tweaked the spelling a couple years ago. She's an Aries, which is the first astrological sign, so "BAE" (before anyone else) felt right.
Her Style:
"I'm an open format DJ and I like to play music by Black femme and women artists of many genres like R&B, Hip Hop, Dancehall, Afrobeat, Jersey Club, Vogue, and experimental club music. I like to focus on music that feels empowering to me, focusing on women of color and femme artists who are claiming their power. I really love to play 90s and 2000s throwbacks and mix them with newer music. I feel like I have an appeal to both older and younger audiences."
Why Representation of Women in the DJ World is Important:
"It is vital that women of color become visible in the music industry as DJs and producers because we will then have the power to shape the content of what people listen to on a daily basis. Music is a key component to our culture, so if we can influence that culture, we can change the world. As women of color in the music industry, we have the potential to create new forms of expression that represent our unique experiences and challenges. I specifically work hard to honor and represent Black femmes and women because I feel like we are some of the most degraded people on earth, as we stand at the intersection of racialized and gendered oppression."
"Music is a key component to our culture, so if we can influence that culture, we can change the world."
The Gender Biases She Deals With:
"There is often the belief that women aren't as talented as men DJs or producers. This is so far from the truth! I am tired of being a part of DJ lineups when they give women the early slots, and men the better slots. Femmes and women are my favorite DJs and producers because of their unique song selections and samples. We play music that affirms us. I also feel that we really know how to get women and femmes dancing on the dancefloor, which is the heart of any party. When I DJ, I dance; I always join the crowd and dance to at least one of the songs I play during a set. I like to see myself as a part of the audience--I do it for the community of dancers."
"We play music that affirms us."
Her Greatest Accomplishment:
"My biggest accomplishment has been creating my own parties in my community for a mostly black audience and collaborating with Black femmes and Black queer people to make them happen. I care deeply about creating safe and fun spaces in my own neighborhood. That's what got me into DJ-ing in the first place. Reclaiming space is a direct way to push against gentrification."
The Real on Song Requests:
"Typically, song requests suck the air out of DJ-ing, but if someone requests a song and it's on point, I will get on their wave. Ultimately, my goal is to help everyone have a good time, so if it's a good request, I'll take it!"
Coral aka FXWRK, @fxwrk
FXWRK is a DJ/Producer from New York. She got her stage name from a friend who made it up in college as a play on her last name.
Her Style:
"I'm an open format DJ with a preference for hip hop/rap, R&B, Motown classics, every sort of uptempo club music, and experimental, futuristic trap. What sets me apart is my transition style: I'll often mix one song into the next relatively quickly. It makes things surprising and exciting in a different way than a long, gradual mix. I also constantly hop between so many different genres to keep things unexpected."
Why Representation of Women in the DJ World is Important:
"Representation of women in the DJ world is so important to even the playing field. To make space in the industry for the overlooked, underprivileged creativity we possess. To change the public definition of what a DJ looks like, thereby creating new possibilities and templates for WOC in the future. To challenge outdated gender stereotypes about women in this male dominated field."
The Gender Biases She Deals With:
"There is definitely gender bias in this industry. Gender stereotypes, inequality, and sexism are omnipresent in the majority of male-dominated industries. Ours is no different. We face a variety of obstacles: exclusion from access to professional networks and opportunities, sexual harassment, informal social hierarchies built to protect men's positions of power, and more. It's not hard to find hateful or derogatory comment threads about women DJs online. Being underestimated or not taken seriously is another dynamic."
"Sexism is omnipresent in the majority of male-dominated industries. Ours is no different."
"For about three years, I was Global Director of a private international online community called SISTER, which eventually grew to become the world's largest group of women and nonbinary people in electronic music. It's a growing, supportive collective that has had a positive impact on many women in our field."
Her Greatest Accomplishments:
"My debut album called The Awakening, recently featured on Vice's music channel on Noisey.com! The SISTER Collective I spoke of. Doing a really good six-hour set last month, since it was my first time playing that long, and playing Boiler Room, NYC in 2016."
The Real on Song Requests:
"I honestly don't like them since I came up as an NYC underground club DJ. People who attend these kinds of parties tend not to ask for requests because they see the DJ as an artist in their own right. The set is a 'performance' and there's a level of trust.
If I'm playing the kind of event where I know to expect requests, I happily oblige."
Myah aka DJ Dimples, @djdimples
DJ Dimples is a Miami-based DJ. Her mother actually gave her the stage name Dimples! "She asked me in the kitchen, 'Do you want to be a ballerina or a musician?' Without second thought I replied, 'Musician thanks.' She gave me a look like, girl don't answer me that quick! (laughs) But I knew I was a music baby, so she responded, 'Well you have Dimples so name yourself Dj Dimples.' 'Ok, that's perfect.' I remember saying back to her."
Her Style:
"My sound and style is smooth, I tell a story when I DJ. I could tell you how my day went with the songs I will start with, or if I'm feelin' myself, and I can tell if the crowd is too; I have music for that as well. It's not much scratching in my sets, I am a cutter and a mixer for sure. I can scratch though, it's just never been as important for me."
Why Representation of Women in the DJ World is Important:
"It's important for women, and specifically WOC, to step into these roles so we can create more space and opportunity for people like us. It's not enough of us in the correct positions, so for women to be there, we will first seek out other women to fulfill these roles. No man can outthink or be smarter than a woman!"
The Gender Biases She Deals With:
"There are many gender biases, but what I do to set the record straight, is not give up! I make sure I prove people wrong. I don't stop until I do what you say I couldn't do."
"I don't stop until I do what you say I couldn't do."
Her Greatest Accomplishment:
"One of my greatest accomplishments as a DJ is providing opportunities for other women DJs with events that I now have. When I first started DJ-ing, I had to force my way in...now I only hire other women DJs. I'm so happy to be able to give other women a platform to show their craft, and actually be good!"
The Real on Song Requests:
"I don't mind song requests as long as you do not come and ask me to play a song I just played three songs ago (laughs). Other than that, they may remind me of something I haven't played. I play off the top of my head, I don't make sets before I DJ. I come in, feel the crowd out and go from there. We end up of course having a blast!"
Fontaine Felisha Foxworth is a writer and creative entrepreneur from Brooklyn New York. She is currently on the West Coast working on creating a TV Pilot called "Finding Fontaine", that details the nomadic journey of her life so far. Keep up with her shenanigans @famoustaine on IG.
Exclusive: Gabrielle Union On Radical Transparency, Being Diagnosed With Perimenopause And Embracing What’s Next
Whenever Gabrielle Union graces the movie screen, she immediately commands attention. From her unforgettable scenes in films like Bring It On and Two Can Play That Game to her most recent film, in which she stars and produces Netflix’s The Perfect Find, there’s no denying that she is that girl.
Off-screen, she uses that power for good by sharing her trials and tribulations with other women in hopes of helping those who may be going through the same things or preventing them from experiencing them altogether. Recently, the Flawless by Gabrielle Union founder partnered with Clearblue to speak at the launch of their Menopause Stage Indicator, where she also shared her experience with being perimenopausal.
In a xoNecoleexclusive, the iconic actress opens up about embracing this season of her life, new projects, and overall being a “bad motherfucker.” Gabrielle reveals that she was 37 years old when she was diagnosed with perimenopause and is still going through it at 51 years old. Mayo Clinic says perimenopause “refers to the time during which your body makes the natural transition to menopause, marking the end of the reproductive years.”
“I haven't crossed over the next phase just yet, but I think part of it is when you hear any form of menopause, you automatically think of your mother or grandmother. It feels like an old-person thing, but for me, I was 37 and like not understanding what that really meant for me. And I don't think we focus so much on the word menopause without understanding that perimenopause is just the time before menopause,” she tells us.
Gabrielle Union
Photo by Brian Thomas
"But you can experience a lot of the same things during that period that people talk about, that they experienced during menopause. So you could get a hot flash, you could get the weight gain, the hair loss, depression, anxiety, like all of it, mental health challenges, all of that can come, you know, at any stage of the menopausal journey and like for me, I've been in perimenopause like 13, 14 years. When you know, most doctors are like, ‘Oh, but it's usually about ten years, and I'm like, ‘Uhh, I’m still going (laughs).’”
Conversations about perimenopause, fibroids, and all the things that are associated with women’s bodies have often been considered taboo and thus not discussed publicly. However, times are changing, and thanks to the Gabrielle’s and the Tia Mowry’s, more women are having an authentic discourse about women’s health. These open discussions lead to the creation of more safe spaces and support for one another.
“I want to be in community with folks. I don't ever want to feel like I'm on an island about anything. So, if I can help create community where we are lacking, I want to be a part of that,” she says. “So, it's like there's no harm in talking about it. You know what I mean? Like, I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change. I'm just getting better and stronger and more intelligent, more wise, more patient, more compassionate, more empathetic. All of that is very, very welcomed, and none of it should be scary.”
The Being Mary Jane star hasn’t been shy about her stance on therapy. If you don’t know, here’s a hint: she’s all for it, and she encourages others to try it as well. She likens therapy to dating by suggesting that you keep looking for the right therapist to match your needs. Two other essential keys to her growth are radical transparency and radical acceptance (though she admits she is still working on the latter).
"I was a bad motherfucker before perimenopause. I’m a bad motherfucker now, and I'll be a bad motherfucker after menopause. Know what I’m saying? None of that has to change. How I’m a bad motherfucker, I welcome that part of the change."
Gabrielle Union and Kaavia Union-Wade
Photo by Monica Schipper/Getty Images
“I hope that a.) you recognize that you're not alone. Seek out help and know that it's okay to be honest about what the hell is happening in your life. That's the only way that you know you can get help, and that's also the only other way that people know that you are in need if there's something going on,” she says, “because we have all these big, very wild, high expectations of people, but if they don't know what they're actually dealing with, they're always going to be failing, and you will always be disappointed. So how about just tell the truth, be transparent, and let people know where you are. So they can be of service, they can be compassionate.”
Gabrielle’s transparency is what makes her so relatable, and has so many people root for her. Whether through her TV and film projects, her memoirs, or her social media, the actress has a knack for making you feel like she’s your homegirl. Scrolling through her Instagram, you see the special moments with her family, exciting new business ventures, and jaw-dropping fashion moments. Throughout her life and career, we’ve seen her evolve in a multitude of ways. From producing films to starting a haircare line to marriage and motherhood, her journey is a story of courage and triumph. And right now, in this season, she’s asking, “What’s next?”
“This is a season of discovery and change. In a billion ways,” says the NAACP Image Award winner. “The notion of like, ‘Oh, so and so changed. They got brand new.’ I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
"I want you to be brand new. I want me to be brand new. I want us to be always constantly growing, evolving. Having more clarity, moving with different purpose, like, and all of that is for me very, very welcomed."
She continues, “So I'm just trying to figure out what's next. You know what I mean? I'm jumping into what's next. I'm excited going into what's next and new. I'm just sort of embracing all of what life has to offer.”
Look out for Gabrielle in the upcoming indie film Riff Raff, which is a crime comedy starring her and Jennifer Coolidge, and she will also produce The Idea of You, which stars Anne Hathaway.
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Have you ever been in a relationship with someone and felt so deeply connected to them? Everything about the relationship was intense – good or bad? Then you might be in a part of a soul tie.
The concept of a soul tie binds individuals on a level beyond a relationship's physical and emotional aspects; it’s more than a mere connection. You can form a soul tie with anyone – lover, friend, colleague, etc.- but we are discussing romantic partners for this article. Think of you and your partner as an intensely burning flame. The flame can burn passionately to light the relationship’s way or chaotically burn everything in its path. Either way, it leaves an indelible mark on the souls involved.
A soul tie should not be confused with the term “soulmate.” The main difference is that a soul tie can be positive or negative, while a soulmate is a mutual, harmonious connection. Unlike a soul tie, a soulmate relationship is generally characterized by mutual understanding, support, and shared values.
However, the more we learn about soul ties, the more it becomes evident that they are not monolithic; they vary in nature and intensity. As someone who has experienced a negative soul tie, it is crucial to discern whether they contribute positively to personal growth or hinder you from flourishing.
If Your Soul Tie Is Positive
A positive soul tie creates a deep and affirming connection between individuals. One key indicator of a positive soul tie is effective communication. If you’re experiencing a positive soul tie, a shared understanding fosters open and honest dialogue, contributing to a sense of connection and support.
Mutual growth is another hallmark of a positive soul tie. When individuals in a relationship encourage each other's personal development and evolution, it signifies a positive and uplifting connection. This mutual support leads to an environment where both parties can thrive individually and together, contributing to the overall health of the soul tie.
Emotional security is a crucial element in identifying a positive soul tie. In such connections, individuals feel a deep sense of trust and comfort with each other. This emotional security forms a stable foundation for the relationship, allowing both parties to express vulnerability and foster a strong, positive bond. These three indicators—effective communication, mutual growth, and emotional security—underscore the positivity inherent in a healthy and affirming soul tie.
If Your Soul Tie Is Negative
A negative soul tie manifests as a detrimental and draining connection between individuals. One clear sign of a negative soul tie is the presence of emotional turmoilwithin the relationship. When the connection becomes a source of constant distress, causing emotional upheaval and hindering personal development, it indicates a negative soul tie.
Codependency is another red flag for a negative soul tie. In such connections, individuals may become overly reliant on each other, impeding their ability to thrive independently. Codependency often leads to unhealthy dependencies and can result in a toxic dynamic that hinders both individuals' growth and well-being.
A lack of effective communication is a third indicator of a negative soul tie. When there is a breakdown in communication, misunderstandings and unresolved issues can fester, contributing to a strained and unhealthy connection. In negative soul ties, the absence of open and honest dialogue can perpetuate a cycle of negativity and prevent the resolution of underlying issues. These three indicators—emotional turmoil, codependency, and poor communication—point to the negativity associated with an unhealthy soul tie.
Putting Out The Fires And Breaking Your Soul Tie
Unfortunately, my deep, intense connection only caused destruction. And despite the obvious red flags, it took a minute before I broke the connection. Why? Because I was addicted to the relationship, we both were. But it is possible to break a soul tie if and when you are ready because if you are not, pretending you are when you are not is a waste of your time.
Breaking a soul tie requires intentional and purposeful actions. Establishing clear and firm boundaries is a fundamental step in severing the connection. By limiting contact and emotional engagement with the person involved, individuals can gradually weaken the tie and create space for personal growth.
Seeking professional support is another effective strategy to break a soul tie. Guidance from therapists or counselors provides valuable insights and coping strategies. Professional assistance can help individuals navigate the emotional challenges associated with breaking a soul tie, offering a structured and supportive environment for healing.
Redirecting energy toward personal growth is important in breaking free from a soul tie. Engaging in activities that promote individual well-being and create a sense of independence allows individuals to refocus their attention on their own growth and development. This redirection of energy is essential for breaking the emotional bonds of a soul tie and moving towards a healthier, more fulfilling life.
The last step I advise everyone to go through is the mourning period. My partner and I did our song and dance for years before I walked away. And I would be lying if I didn’t say that I mourned our relationship while I healed.
Recognizing the presence and nature of a soul tie in your relationship is crucial to understanding its impact on your well-being. Whether positive or negative, the intensity of a soul tie can shape the course of your personal growth and happiness. Breaking free from a negative soul tie demands intentional efforts, from setting clear boundaries to seeking professional support. Redirecting energy toward personal growth and allowing oneself a necessary mourning period are vital steps toward healing and liberation from the intricate ties that bind.
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