
In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
Finding your happy place is a talent not easily mastered by creatives of color. Between keeping up with politics, navigating social media, and making sure our loved ones feel loved on, the hustle is likely to hustle you out of your peace of mind. But Tiffany Laibhen-Spence wants you to protect your energy at all costs. That means being intentional about unplugging to recharge.
The 30-year-old self-proclaimed extroverted introvert recently sat down with xoNecole and gave us all the details on how she thrives in the digital world as an entrepreneur while managing her self-care. According to Tiffany, it all starts with unapologetically spending time alone. "Because I'm naturally an introvert, I have always been a person to make time for myself. However, I used to feel guilty about it. When I needed to cancel plans or say no to somebody, I would beat myself up about how flaky it seemed," she explained. "...I then realized that I just required an unapologetic and welcomed pause after anything that drained my energy! It's been my best realization and has helped tremendously!"
Along with deep breathing, watching The Office, and making time to celebrate her small wins, here's how Tiffany finds balance:
What’s been the driving force behind all of the hats that you wear these days? What is your “why”?
I have always believed that life should be enjoyed. I never bought into the "check to check, work to pay bills, spend the rest of your life in debt" story that many people live by. I have always imagined myself doing something that brings me to life daily and not having to struggle. My biggest goal is to be able to retire my parents so that they can see a different side of life where their only obligation is to spend their time doing things that fulfill them.

Courtesy of Kevin Spence
"I never bought into the 'check to check, work to pay bills, spend the rest of your life in debt' story that many people live by. I have always imagined myself doing something that brings me to life daily and not having to struggle."
What are some ways you stay focused on the positive when things get hard?
I am very spiritual. My faith that something bigger is always leading me or redirecting me in the right direction is how I stay focused. More specifically, I pray, meditate, read self-help books, and drink positive energy tea daily (Tea by Yogi. Try it and thank me later!) I also follow lots of positive, encouraging pages on social media. On the days when I wake up and I don't feel like doing any of "it", I've made it a habit to immediately go to YouTube and search "motivational video" and I'll listen to that while getting ready for the day.
What is a typical day in your life? If no day is quite the same, give me a rundown of a typical work week and what that might consist of.
Mondays and Wednesdays are typically my shoot days. Tuesdays and Thursdays are my edit days, and those can go until 12 a.m., especially if I have a deadline. I try and dedicate my Fridays to industry research and content/creative planning. My sister is a varsity soccer player so I do my best to attend her games. It's sometimes hard because as a one-woman band, if I'm not home editing or shooting, it's not getting done. My husband is a director of photography for BET in New York, so he is constantly traveling. Our home is in Philly, so we work hard to date in-between our hectic schedules and try to take advantage of our weekends together! I'm now hosting and attending lots of events, so my schedule is all over the place now.

Courtesy of Kevin Spence
"Not many people understand what goes into content creation, and it can be crazy having to stop in the middle of an edit, attend an event, and then come back at 9 p.m. to hop back into an edit. It's a lot to balance."
What are your mornings like?
On a normal weekday, I'm up by 6 a.m. I make my tea and meditate for about 30 minutes. I then journal and read for about an hour, depending on the day. After getting my head and intentions together, I hop on Instagram to spread some love on my stories. I then get my post or content ready for the day. This routine changes about every six months or so. Sometimes I like watching a motivational video or calling my mom. It can depend on my mood and what I need at the time.
How do young wind down at night?
The most hectic part for me has been trying to do it all on my own and still show up for my loved ones. I'm literally building my brand from the ground up by myself. When I have a deadline pending and I have to come up with the creative direction, decorate the set, shoot high-quality content, and edit within a day or two, and my family/friends have something important coming up, it can be overwhelming. Not many people understand what goes into content creation, and it can be crazy having to stop in the middle of an edit, attend an event, and then come back at 9 p.m. to hop back into an edit. It's a lot to balance.
Do you practice self-care? What does that look like for you?
Absolutely! Self-care is what keeps me sane. It looks different at different times. My favorite right now is watching my favorite movies and shows on my couch and sipping wine or a cocktail. Meditating is my constant form though. It definitely relieves any worries or anxiety. I can feel the difference if I miss it for a day or two.
What advice do you have for busy women who feel like they don’t have time for self-care?
My advice is, yes, you do! My favorite cliche is, "You can't pour from an empty cup." It's so true! You can't possibly be giving your best self to your spouse, your kids, or your work if you haven't taken the time to get to know yourself. One of the best things my mom did was take care of herself when I was growing up. She would go get her nails done, go away with her girls once a year, and have regular girls' nights. Her and my dad would go on couples' trips, which I was annoyed with as a child (laughs), but I now know why. It taught me to never lose me to anything!
In the beginning, I had to write self-care into my schedule just like I would anything else and stick to it! It's now become a habit for me. Take 30 extra minutes in the morning to do deep breathing, read your favorite book, do an exercise or take a dance class. You may not have time every day because, well, life, but you definitely have time to love on yourself just a little more.

Courtesy of Kevin Spence
"One of the best things my mom did was take care of herself when I was growing up. She would go get her nails done, go away with her girls once a year, and have regular girls' nights. Her and my dad would go on couples' trips, which I was annoyed with as a child, but I now know why. It taught me to never lose me to anything!"
How do you find balance with:
Friends?
I have to put it into my calendar, or else I'll work right through it. I tell my friends not to take offense. I'm just really focused and I take my schedule seriously! So if it's scheduled, I'm there! I also try and text them if they come across my mind, even for just a second.
Love/Relationships?
We communicate via text and FaceTime throughout the day so that we can say connected. We also shoot together, so we make a date out of those days. We get content and then we go to dinner and spend time!
Exercise? Does it happen?
I am still finding a way to fit exercise into my schedule consistently. Since my schedule changes so often, it makes it a little hard to be consistent, but I will make it happen.
The self?
This is one thing I make time for. Regular manicures, meditation, reading a book, or anything that brings me joy is a must.
When do you feel most beautiful?
I feel most beautiful when I feel most healthy. So when I'm eating well, moving my body, [my] hair is healthy, skin is healthy, that is when I feel my best.
Do you cook or find yourself eating out more often?
Up until about two months ago, I was cooking 80% of the time and ordering out the other 20%. Because my schedule has picked up so drastically, I have not found much time to cook lately. I'm currently in the process of hiring an assistant to help me with projects because cooking brings me joy and I'd love to have more time to do it without having to sacrifice being productive!

Courtesy of Kevin Spence
"I detox by deleting all of my social media apps until I feel ready to get back on. It usually lasts about a week, but if I get to the end of that week and still feel overwhelmed or anything negative, I stay off until I'm centered again. I detox daily by monitoring who I'm conversing with, having mandatory alone time, and allowing myself to decompress after interactions."
Do you ever detox? What does that consist of?
For a physical detox, I drink detox teas to clean my body out. I also do time periods of no red meat and mainly veggies. I've done fruit juice cleanses as well. Mentally, I detox by deleting all of my social media apps until I feel ready to get back on. It usually lasts about a week, but if I get to the end of that week and still feel overwhelmed or anything negative, I stay off until I'm centered again. I detox daily by monitoring who I'm conversing with, having mandatory alone time, and allowing myself to decompress after interactions.
When you are going through a bout of uncertainty or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
I pray. Anything that I have today is because of prayer and allowing something bigger than me to show me what I need to see to make the next best move. So when I'm uncertain, I ask for guidance on what I should be doing and I ask for clarity. Then I act in the manner that I'd like to see myself. I leave that prayer knowing that the solution is on the way and I do my best not to worry about it, but instead, smile and thank God for the clarity or the signs I needed. It has worked wonders in my life.
What is something you think others forget when it comes to finding balance?
People forget to celebrate the little wins. Celebrate finishing that edit, posting your first video, and doing what you said you would. When you forget to celebrate those wins, you are constantly chasing something. It leads you to believe you aren't doing enough, which then leads to overworking. Find time to celebrate your wins, however small they may be. Pour a glass of wine, go out for dinner--do something! You deserve it!

Courtesy of Helena Raju
"When you forget to celebrate those wins, you are constantly chasing something. It leads you to believe you aren't doing enough, which then leads to overworking. Find time to celebrate your wins, however small they may be."
What does success mean to you?
Success means having balance between all the things that bring me joy and make me who I am. Right now those things are self-awareness, healthy relationships with my loved ones, financial well-being, thriving in my chosen career path and making an impact.
What does happiness mean to you?
Happiness is temporary. It's an emotion. In life, you will experience hardships. You will lose people, you'll lose relationships, and you won't get the things you've been working hard at. In those moments, you will not be happy. You can still have joy and gratitude in your heart in those moments, but you won't be happy. I think the key is enjoying and appreciating your happy moments as they are happening but understanding that life needs ups and downs for you to continue growing on your journey.
For more of Tiffany, follow her on Instagram @tiffanylaibhen!
Featured image courtesy of Kevin Spence
Originally published on February 9, 2020
Because We Are Still IT, Girl: It Girl 100 Returns
Last year, when our xoNecole team dropped our inaugural It Girl 100 honoree list, the world felt, ahem, a bit brighter.
It was March 2024, and we still had a Black woman as the Vice President of the United States. DEI rollbacks weren’t being tossed around like confetti. And more than 300,000 Black women were still gainfully employed in the workforce.
Though that was just nineteen months ago, things were different. Perhaps the world then felt more receptive to our light as Black women.
At the time, we launched It Girl 100 to spotlight the huge motion we were making as dope, GenZennial Black women leaving our mark on culture. The girls were on the rise, flourishing, drinking their water, minding their business, leading companies, and learning to do it all softly, in rest. We wanted to celebrate that momentum—because we love that for us.
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.

In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.

In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.

And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.

We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.

So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.

That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.

This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
It Girl 100 Class Of 2025: Meet The Empire Builders You Need To Know
She's a boss, and she's minding the business that pays her. Literally and figuratively.
Whether she's launching her next business venture, turning passion projects into paper, or building her side hustle into a legacy, she's proof that visionary women don't wait for a seat at the table. She builds her own, then pulls up a chair for the next woman. The empire-builders of xoNecole's 2025 It Girl 100 lead with purpose and profit, spinning their "why" into wealth.
This year's It Girl 100 is a mosaic of brilliance, spotlighting entrepreneurs, cultural disruptors, beauty visionaries, and boundary-pushing creatives who embody the spirit of "Yes, And." This digital celebration honors the women who embrace every facet of themselves, proving you can chase the bag and still honor your desire to live life softly.
The women repping for the Business category are empire builders shaping the next generation of entrepreneurship, as founders, investors, and CEOs, shifting culture while expanding their brands and their net worth.
Here's the roll call for xoNecole's It Girl 100 Class of 2025: Business.

Artist and Founder of GROWN Media Kaya Nova
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Kaya Nova
Her Handle: @thekayanova
Her Title: Artist and Founder, GROWN Media
Who's That It Girl: Kaya Nova is the artist-entrepreneur whose voice bridges melody and empowerment as the founder of GROWN Mag and GROWN Media. We celebrate her for turning her artistry into activism, creating music and experiences that honor womanhood, vulnerability, and the beauty of becoming your full self.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm multitalented and I'm powerful beyond measure."

Founder and CEO of Vineyard Icon Erin Goldson
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Erin Goldson
Her Handle: @eringoldson
Her Title: Founder and CEO of Vineyard Icon
Who's That It Girl: We are inspired by Erin Goldson, brand marketer and founder of Vineyard Icon, a platform celebrating Martha’s Vineyard culture and creativity. She blends strategy and community building with effortless polish to turn ideas into impact.

Founder and CEO, My Happy Flo Necole Kane
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Necole Kane
Her Handle: @hellonecole
Her Title: Founder and CEO, My Happy Flo
Who's That It Girl: Necole Kane is a media mogul and entrepreneur who founded NecoleBitchie.com and xoNecole.com. She now leads feminine wellness brand My Happy Flo, advocating for women's hormonal health through plant-based supplements and holistic solutions.

FORVR MOOD Co-Founder and Content Creator Jackie Aina
Credit: Kirstin Enlow
Jackie Aina
Her Handle: @jackieaina
Her Title: FORVR MOOD Co-Founder and Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: A trailblazer who changed the face of beauty forever, Jackie Asamoah built a legacy on authenticity and advocacy. We love her for redefining luxury through inclusion and for reminding women everywhere that self-care is a radical, joyful act.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm owning my power and finding balance in it."

Founder and Investor Shannae Ingleton Smith
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Shannae Ingleton Smith
Her Handle: @torontoshay
Her Title: Founder and Investor
Who's That It Girl: Shannae Ingleton Smith is President and Co-founder of Kensington Grey, an influencer agency representing 200+ creators. A former media sales executive, she now invests in creator-led startups, including 12PM Studios.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I’m breaking ceilings and expanding the table."

Founder of LORVAE De'arra Taylor
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De'arra Taylor
Her Handle: @dearra
Her Title: Founder of Fashion Brand LORVAE
Who's That It Girl: We celebrate De'arra Taylor as the founder and CEO of LORVAE, an eyewear brand built on reinvention, confidence, and bold individuality. Her creative direction turns sunglasses into statements and community into a lifestyle.

Founder of The Lip Bar Melissa Butler
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Melissa Butler
Her Handle: @melissarbutler
Her Title: Founder of The Lip Bar
Who's That It Girl: Melissa Butler transformed The Lip Bar from a kitchen concept into a multimillion-dollar movement. We honor her for challenging industry norms and proving that boldness, beauty, and business brilliance can coexist unapologetically.

Director of Cultural Strategy & Innovation Denetrias Charlemagne
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Denetrias “Dee” Charlemagne
Her Handle: @dcharlemagne
Her Title: Director of Cultural Strategy & Innovation, Walmart
Who's That It Girl: A powerhouse behind purpose-driven partnerships, Denetrias Charlemagne bridges culture and commerce at Walmart with grace and innovation. We honor her for amplifying representation in retail and using her platform to build spaces where authenticity and excellence thrive.

Chief Brand Officer at Unrivaled Kirby Porter
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Kirby Porter
Her Handle: @kirbyporter
Her Title: Chief Brand Officer, Unrivaled
Who's That It Girl: Strategic, visionary, and driven by impact, Kirby Porter is building the future of athlete branding. We’re inspired by her as the founder of New Game Labs and Chief Brand Officer at Unrivaled, showing that strategy can be soulful and sport can be storytelling.

Founder and CEO of EveryStylishGirl Nana Agyemang
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Nana Agyemang
Her Handle: @itsreallynana
Her Title: Founder and CEO of EveryStylishGirl
Who's That It Girl: A journalist turned founder, Nana Agyemang built EveryStylishGirl to amplify Black women in media. We love her for opening doors, building pipelines of opportunity, and using her voice to change the face of modern storytelling.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm a boss and I'm still soft."

Vice President of Content at ESSENCE Nandi Howard
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Nandi Howard
Her Handle: @itsnandibby
Her Title: Vice President of Content, ESSENCE
Who's That It Girl: We are inspired by Nandi Howard, Vice President of Content and Editorial at ESSENCE. Her leadership elevates Black culture with clarity and celebration and shapes the stories and standards that move audiences.

Founder of Sisters In Media Oladotun Idowu
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Oladotun Idowu
Her Handle: @ola_idowu
Her Title: Founder of Sisters In Media
Who's That It Girl: We celebrate Oladotun Idowu, entertainment marketing leader at Campari Group and founder of Sisters in Media, for bridging brands and culture while championing women of color across media. Strategy and purpose guide her work.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes I'm walking into rooms with boldness and grace knowing that God has way more in stored for me."

Founder of Fortune & Forks Krystal Vega
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Krystal Vega
Her Handle: @krystalvega
Her Title: Founder of Fortune & Forks, Multimedia
Who's That It Girl: Krystal Vega’s work lives at the intersection of innovation and influence. We celebrate her as a next-gen entrepreneur shaping digital spaces where women of color lead confidently, create fearlessly, and build legacies beyond the screen.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I'm that girl and so are you."

Founder of Fortune & Forks Naomi Wright
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Naomi Wright
Her Handle: @naomiwrighttt
Who's That It Girl: Naomi Wright leads with style, purpose, and power. We’re inspired by her for building platforms like Fortune & Forks that merge beauty, business, and bold self-expression, proving that influence can be both impactful and intentional.

Entrepreneur and Podcast Host Emma Grede
Shutterstock
Emma Grede
Her Handle: @emmagrede
Her Title: Entrepreneur and Podcast Host
Who's That It Girl: Emma Grede is CEO and co-founder of Good American, and founding partner of SKIMS. She's a podcast host and the first Black female investor on ABC's Shark Tank.

CEO and Founder of TFNA Entertainment & Sports Management Kia Brooks
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Kia Brooks
Her Handle: @kiajbrooks
Her Title: CEO and Founder of TFNA Entertainment & Sports Management
Who's That It Girl: Entrepreneur and mother, Kia J. Brooks leads TFNA Talent Agency, representing top athletes and creatives. She’s known for breaking barriers, negotiating record NIL deals, and empowering others to build generational wealth.

Sports & Entertainment Brand Manager Des Dickerson
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Des Dickerson
Her Handle: @itsurdestinee
Her Title: Sports & Entertainment Brand Manager and Media Strategist
Who's That It Girl: Des Dickerson is a sports and entertainment brand manager and media strategist who works with top athletes and entertainers to elevate their platforms. She is recognized for creating innovative partnerships and driving visibility in sports and entertainment.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I build opportunities for athletes and entertainers and I transform them into lasting influence."

President of Collective Edge Management Shayla Cowan
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Shayla Cowan
Her Handle: @shayla_pc
Her Title: President, Collective Edge Management
Who's That It Girl: Shayla Cowan is an award-winning producer and President of Collective Edge. She's produced blockbuster films including Girls Trip and Beast, championing boundary-pushing storytellers and innovative artistry in entertainment.

Co-Founder & CEO of Fearless Fund
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Arian Simone
Her Handle: @ariansimone
Her Title: Co-Founder & CEO, Fearless Fund
Who's That It Girl: Arian Simone champions women of color in venture capital. She advocates for economic justice, investing globally in women entrepreneurs and addressing funding disparities rooted in racism and sexism through resilient, purpose-driven leadership.

Founder of Global State of Women and Seed, Valeisha Butterfield
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Valeisha Butterfield
Her Handle: @valeisha
Her Title: Founder of Global State of Women and Seed
Who's That It Girl: Valeisha Butterfield Jones is a globally recognized leader in tech, entertainment, and politics. This year, she created the Global State of Women platform, providing emergency grants to women facing high unemployment rates.
Founder and Content Creator Ava PearlCourtesyAva Pearl
Her Handle: @avapearl
Her Title: Founder and Content Creator
Who's That It Girl: Ava Pearl is the founder of Curly Culture and Curly Con LA, initiatives that champion natural hair and foster community within the beauty industry. As a beauty and lifestyle content creator, she is dedicated to creating impactful content that inspires authenticity, confidence, and self-expression.
Her "Yes, And" Statement: "Yes, I’m rooted in authenticity and rising with purpose."
Now that you've met the ladies about their business, see who else made our list. Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by xoStaff









