Mom Guilt: Why You’re Not Alone
More and more mothers are getting candid about the realities of having mom guilt. Healthlinedefined mom guilt as “that pervasive feeling of not doing enough as a parent, not doing things right, or making decisions that may “mess up” your kids in the long run.” Many working moms cite having mom guilt due to their careers such as two-time Olympic gold medalist Natasha Hastings.
The track athlete shared in an essay for Insider that explored her experience dealing with mom guilt as a mother to a two-year-old son. But not only is she an athlete, but she is also a student pursuing a master’s in clinical mental health, which makes for a busy schedule.
For those reasons, she has often worried about missing out on those special moments with her son, but instead of feeling defeated, she tries to analyze those feelings. “When I feel mom guilt, I don't reject it,” she said. “I allow myself to feel it, investigate it, and determine whether its presence is a sign that something needs to change or if I am simply being too hard on myself.”
Psychology Today shared that mom guilt is a “byproduct of striving for perfect parenting” and it can lead to anxiety. While these things may be true, it doesn’t stop parents from having them.
Some celeb-moms have opened up about dealing with mom guilt. Since the birth of her daughter Kaavia James Union Wade, Gabrielle Union has shared adorable moments spent between the two and her husband Dwyane Wade. The couple had Kaavia via surrogate after the actress was diagnosed with adenomyosis, which is a type of endometriosis.
In a Dec. post, the L.A’s Finest star revealed on Instagram that she was having mom guilt after missing her daughter’s play. “Hardest part about being a working Mom is missing important events in your kid’s lives,” she wrote. “Today I missed @kaaviajames holiday program at school and felt so awful to disappoint her. So I did the next best thing and I became her hype woman before I left for work.”
She also said in an interview with Yahoo! that sometimes the guilt makes her be less strict with her parenting.
However, some women noted that children seeing their parents work is a good thing. "That first year is always hard when you go to work and you’ve been a stay-at-home mom for a while, or on maternity leave, but now that my kids are older, I think it’s pretty badass and cool for them to see their mom do what she loves to do," Tamera Mowry said in an interview with Us Weekly.
But for the moms that haven’t reached the point of any longer feeling guilty, just know that you aren’t alone in having mom guilt. Healthline mentioned some other ways you can combat mom guilt such as knowing your truth, surrounding yourself with positive people, and listening to your intuition and kids.
Featured image by Getty Images
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ItGirl 100 Honors Black Women Who Create Culture & Put On For Their Cities
As they say, create the change you want to see in this world, besties. That’s why xoNecole linked up with Hyundai for the inaugural ItGirl 100 List, a celebration of 100 Genzennial women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table. Across regions and industries, these women embody the essence of discovering self-value through purpose, honey! They're fierce, they’re ultra-creative, and we know they make their cities proud.
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LIST HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
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Sheila Rashid's Androgynous Approach To Unisex Clothing Is A Lesson In Embracing Individuality
The ItGirl 100 List is a celebration of 100 Black women who aren’t afraid to pull up their own seats to the table.
For Sheila Rashid, it all started with some free-hand drawings and a few strokes of paint.
The Chicago-based clothing designer and creative director of Sheila Rashid Brand recalls using her spare time in high school to hand paint designs on t-shirts and distressed hoodies, distributing them to classmates as walking billboards for her art.
Rashid sought to pursue fashion design at Columbia College in Chicago but eventually took the self-taught route to build upon her knack for crafting one-of-a-kind, androgynous pieces.
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Thanks to the mentorship of local designers taking her under their wings, Rashid was able to gain valuable experience in putting together collections and creating patterns; equipping her with them with the necessary skills to pursue her own collections.
After two years of living in New York, Rashid returned home to the Chi and uncovered the unique flair she could offer the city. “I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world,” she tells xoNecole. “That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
For the Midwest native, inspiration comes from her time around creative peers and the city’s notorious winters — known to be a main character in many Chicagoans stories. “It's a different perspective and mindset when I'm making stuff because of the weather here,” she explains. “When we get summer, it’s ‘Summertime Chi’ — it's amazing. It's beautiful. Still, I find myself always making clothes that cater to the winter.”
"I moved to New York after that because I wanted to be in the fashion capital world. That's when I really got a leg up. I found myself when I moved back to Chicago after moving to New York.”
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Many designers have a signature aesthetic or theme in their creations. In Rashid’s design story, dancing between the lines of femininity and masculinity is how she’s been able to distinguish herself within the industry. Her androgynous clothing has garnered the eye of celebrities like Zendaya, Chance the Rapper, WNBA star Sydney Colson, and more — showing her range and approach to designs with inclusivity in mind.
“I think I do reflect my own style,” she says. “When I do make pieces, I'm very tomboyish, androgynous. My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes.” From denim to overalls, and color-drenched outerwear, Rashid has mastered the structure of statement pieces that tell a story.
“Each collection, I never know what's going to be the thing I'm going to focus on. I try to reflect my own style and have fun with the storytelling,” she shares. “I look at it more like it's my art in this small way of expressing myself, so it's not that calculated.”
"My work is unisex because I feel like everybody can wear it. I cater to everybody and that's how I try to approach my clothes."
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Still, if you were able to add up all the moments within Rashid’s 20-year career in design, one theme that has multiplied her into becoming an “ItGirl” is her confidence to take up space within the fashion industry as a queer, Black woman. “Being an ItGirl is about being yourself, loving what you do, finding your niche, and mastering that,” she says.
No matter where you are on your ItGirl journey, Rashid says to always remain persistent and never hesitate to share your art with the world. “Don’t give up. Even if it's something small, finish it and don't be afraid to put it out,” she says, “It's about tackling your own fear of feeling like you have to please everybody, but just please yourself, and that's good enough.”
To learn more about the ItGirl 100 List, view the full list here.
Featured image Courtesy