Gabrielle Union Reveals The Hardest Part About ​Being​ A New Mom: "I Feel Nuts"
Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

Gabrielle Union Reveals The Hardest Part About ​Being​ A New Mom: "I Feel Nuts"

Celebrity News

Becoming a mom can be a tough transition for even the most adaptable women, just ask Gabrielle Union, who became a mother to baby girl Kaavia James via surrogate in January after years of battling infertility, failed IVF treatments, and suffering more than 9 miscarriages. In a recent interview with Glamour, the actress revealed that although she thought the newborn stage would be "different" for her, but she later learned that she was sadly mistaken. The Being Mary Jane star explained that being a new mom is a strange mix of anxiety, guilt, and exhaustion that she just hasn't quite adjusted to yet. Gabrielle shared:

"She's like, 'Fuck your sleep. Fuck my sleep.' I've gotten to the point where I'm OK with her crying. I've just gotten used to it. You know, on the airplane they're like, 'You've got to put your mask on first.' But the guilt of feeling like there's nothing else I can think to do. I don't even know if I'm feeling guilt or fear or exhaustion. I don't know. I feel nuts."

She explained that being a public figure hasn't made her journey as a new mom any easier, but she eventually had to learn to ignore her critics and focus on the people who support her.

"Part of the journey is being OK with how others—specifically moms—are viewing you, judging you, praising you. You feel raw and exposed and vulnerable."

Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

In the past, the artist has been transparent about her healing from her traumas and the power that comes with being vulnerable enough to seek help. In the interview, the actress explained that on her book tour for We're Going To Need More Wine, she had to Skype with her therapist daily to keep herself sane. Upon sharing her experience of being raped while working at a Payless in her youth, she was met with a multitude of other women seeking to share their experience. Although she was overwhelmed by the support, she also felt flooded in sadness.

"It just felt like a never-ending loop of evil and horrific pain and trauma. You've created this safe space, which is awesome, but it's almost like you're just… I'd start the day off like an empty pitcher. And little by little, eventually my pitcher runneth over. At a certain point, I don't know what's mine and what's yours and other people's. It all just feels like you're drowning in plain sight and everyone's looking for me to save other people."

In an interview with Shine, the 46-year-old entertainer shared that she wouldn't be the woman that she is today without seeking professional help. Gabrielle explained:

"I'm a big advocate for working on yourself and your mental health. There is no shame in reaching out to professionals who can help you process tough things that you can't work out on your own. It took me years to get to this point, where I felt like my stories had worth and mattered. Taking the time to work on myself is what got me here."

Despite the late nights and incessant crying, Gabrielle says baby Kaavia has been the beautiful source of light that she never knew she needed. After being diagnosed with adenomyosis, a condition that increases a woman's likelihood of miscarrying, in her 20's, Gabrielle crafted a clever lie to herself and declared that she never wanted children. While she knew it wasn't true, she remained in denial for years to protect herself from the fact that it may never happen, whether she wanted it to or not. She said:

"I wanted to create a big enough cushion emotionally, defensively."

It wasn't until after being marrying her current husband, NBA star, Dwyane Wade, and finally finding the courage to walk in her own truth that she decided to seek out alternative options; but when it came time to find out more information, Gabrielle hit a roadblock.

"Nobody was really open when I had questions. The only reason I heard about certain doctors or treatments or new technologies or new procedures—whether that be diet or Eastern philosophy—was through a whisper network, and mainly from women who did not look like me or who had a very different journey through life than I did."

Although these procedures are somewhat taboo in the black community, Gabrielle knew it was important to be vocal about her experience. Motherhood looks a lot different than it did 20 years ago. Thanks to modern technology, women have the opportunity to truly do life on their own terms, especially when it comes to becoming a mother, and Gabrielle wanted to show other women what that looks like.

"So much of the Instagram life is creating these perfect illusions, right? People have kids—even through surrogacy or IVF or whatever—and the kids just appear. Rarely do we hear how. What was the journey? Without understanding what got to baby, it feels like easy and overnight. And that's not the case."

Thanks, Gabrielle, for sharing your journey and empowering us all to do motherhood our own way!

Check out Gabrielle's full interview with Glamour here!

Featured image by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images

How To Answer Tough (But Common) Job Interview Questions

Landing a job interview is already a feat in itself, but actually getting through it feeling like you've won is a whole other issue. Whether it's a dream job that you want in order to take your career to the next level or that promotion at your current job, it's likely you'll be thrown a few curve balls by way of tough questions. They're often common and a tad basic, but they can bring about feelings of uncertainty, anxiety, or confusion.

Keep reading...Show less
The daily empowerment fix you need.
Make things inbox official.
Don't Miss These Epic Cyber Monday Deals By Black-Owned Brands

Many of us, at some point during this year, made it a point to be a bit more frugal and devote more dollars to that savings account in the name of adulting. But today isn't one of those days, sis! Cyber Monday is here, and the deals today are something serious! As we all know, Cyber Monday is the last opportunity to grab hold of the tremendous post-Thanksgiving sales right before the Christmas shopping season goes into full swing. It's the perfect time to take the plunge on pricier items that are finally on sale or to get the bulk of your end-of-year shopping in for a steal. The only thing that could be better than scoring an epic price slash on a dope haul is knowing you're supporting hard-working Black woman entrepreneurs in the process. After all, what's better than buying Black?

Whether you've got the bulk of your holiday gifts accounted for, or have barely made a dent in your shopping list, we can't stand to see you miss out on these incredible discounts being dished out by some of our favorite ElevateHer brands. From Uoma Beauty's epic 80% off sitewide discount to Forvr Mood's very rare candle sale, here's a list of all the best deals to get your hands on before Cyber Monday is out!

Uoma Beauty - Get Up To 80% Off The Entire Site, No Code Needed

Melanj Hair - Get Up To $60 Off Hair Extensions

Ami Colé - Use code "Holiday" for 20% sitewide.

Peak + Valley - Enjoy 25% off all products with code "blackfriday"

Salt.xo- Shop 40% Sitewide No Code Needed

Grace Eleyae - Buy One Get One Free on Apparel, Products, and Select Accessories

Milano Di Rouge - Get 25% Off Select Styles, No Code

Aseye Studio - Take 30% Off Sitewide For Cyber Monday

Sucré Couture - Up to 45% Off Sitewide

Andrea Iyamah - Take An Additional 25% Off

Forvr Mood - Enjoy 30% Off All Candles With Code "CyberMonday30"

Kingston Goods - Enjoy Free Standard Shipping + 50% off duvet covers with code COZYSZN

8 Kinds Of Sex Every Couple Should Have In Their Rotation

When it comes to sex, you can never have too many tricks up your sleeve. A long-term relationship can quickly become boring, and nothing kills desire faster than boredom. When people get comfortable in long-term relationships, they often lose their spark. Relationships are like monthly subscription services. You get the first month for free, but after that, you have to actually start investing in order to continue to reap the benefits.

Keep reading...Show less
'Black Panther: Wakanda Forever' Reminds Us That Angela Bassett Is Still Owed An Oscar

In a world much fairer than the one we currently occupy, Angela Bassett shelves would be adorned with multiple Oscars. While watching the latest installment of the Black Panther franchise, I was reminded of the sheer brilliance and excellence of the actress who has blessed audiences with her boundless talents for over three decades now. I wasn’t the only one captivated by Bassett’s performance, with some people even going as far as to suggest that Bassett might garner award recognition for the role.

Keep reading...Show less
The Best Healing Rituals For You Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Healing rituals are key to thriving in this human experience. If you are not regulating your emotions, taking the time to process, and giving your spirit time to renew and heal, then you are often carrying emotional heaviness from one experience to the next. Healing rituals are a way to give your mind, body, and soul the attention it needs and craves, and to put yourself in a better position to live your best life. When you take the time to heal within, positive transformations occur without.

Keep reading...Show less
Exclusive Interviews
Latest Posts