If you read enough of my content on this platform, you already know that 1) fall is my absolutely favorite season and 2) I'm all about a good pampering. Which brings me to this question — when is the last time that you pampered yourself? I don't mean what I generally consider to be maintenance moves like scheduling a mani/pedi appointment or even getting a massage; no, I mean, when's the last time you did something that falls into the category of indulgence? Pure, sheer and totally unapologetic self-indulgence.
If you're a bit stumped in finding the correct answer, perhaps these 12 "nudges" will inspire you to do something that will make you feel a little "self-spoiled" over the next couple of days. As a bonus, they're all fall-themed too. How dope is that?
1. Put Some Fall-Themed Flowers (or a Wreath) in Your Home Office and Bedroom
While some people get fresh flowers for their home for purely aesthetic reasons, the reality is there are a lot of health benefits that come with doing it too. Fresh flowers can help to get you into a better mood. Fresh flowers can inspire creativity. Fresh flowers can reduce stress. Fresh flowers can even help you to physically heal at a quicker pace and sleep more soundly. So, in the spirit of all things fall, why not get some blooms that are at their peak right now? Some of those include chrysanthemums, pansies, and anthers.
Or, if flowers aren't really your thing, how about hanging up a wreath? I've got a couple that is made out of nothing but twigs; yet, surprisingly, they feel very "autumn" and make my living room and bedroom feel extra cozy because they are on my walls. You can usually find them at a local arts and crafts store; especially around this time of the year.
2. Get a Humidifier That Comes with a Diffuser
Something that I've been saying, on loop, to anyone who will listen, is in this season of COVID that we're in, it's an absolute must that you bless your space with a humidifier. The main reason why is because viruses like COVID, colds, and the flu struggle in low humidity (however, if you check out "10 Really Good Reasons To Get Yourself A Humidifier This Fall," you'll see that it comes with some other benefits as well). Although the humidifier that I have doesn't have this particular feature, I have owned one that comes with a diffuser so that essential oils are able to "run" along with the mist that comes out. The result is whatever room a humidifier is in, it smells absolutely divine. If this piques your interest, oh so Spotless is a site that offers up some reviews on a few humidifiers that have diffusers. You can check them out here.
3. Create a Simmer Pot
Another way to make your home smell amazing is to create your own simmer pot. It's basically when you put a whole bunch of fruits, herbs, and spices together into a pot, then you let them simmer on your stove for a few hours. Something that I really like about this suggestion is you can combine certain ingredients in a way where you can sip them as a delightfully warm or cool drink once you're done. So, for two hours, a mixture of apples, oranges, and cinnamon sticks can appeal to your nose, and then you can drink it while watching a holiday film — wonderful. Tipnut offers up 15 simmer pot recipes. If you want to check them all out, you can do so by going here.
4. Add Some Fairy Lights
Personally, I'm someone who likes to sleep in pitch-black darkness. Still, whenever I go to someone's house and they have tiny fairy lights hanging up in their bedroom, I always think it looks really… "enchanted" is the word that first comes to mind. And since we're in "fall back" season, as far as time goes, a little more light (even if it's in your office or kids' room) certainly can't hurt. Just a thought.
5. Pick Up a Couple of Pairs of Moisturizing Socks
Switching gears a bit, how about giving your feet some extra tender loving care? Something that one of my goddaughters is a huge fan of is what she calls "lotion socks" although they are technically referred to as being moisturizing socks. Long story short, they are super comfy socks that have lotion "built into them" (although some, you've got to apply the lotion yourself). Not only does this help to make your feet feel unbelievably soothed and stress-free, but it can also keep your feet moisturized too. If you wanna cop a pair, Mom Junction reviewed over 10 of 'em. The ones with five toes for each sock certainly caught my attention. Check that list out here.
6. Make a Fall-Inspired Body Scrub
If you want to pamper your skin by unclogging its pores, removing dead skin, and brightening your complexion, exfoliation is the way to go. Making your own body scrub is one of the best ways to do it. In the spirit of autumn, how about making a scrub that smells like the fall season? A vanilla body scrub (recipe here) is good for you because vanilla is rich in the kind of antioxidants that fight aging and free radicals. A pumpkin body scrub (recipe here) is great because it's filled with Vitamin C and beta-carotene; both are able to stimulate the production of collagen. And finally, an apple scrub (recipe here) will do your body good because the properties in apples help to hydrate your skin, protect it from UV damage (which yes, also can happen in the fall and winter), reduce the appearance of dark circles underneath your eyes, tone your skin and even out your complexion.
7. Invest in a Brown Matte Lip Color
When the temps are cold and the wind is blowing, you definitely want to make sure that your lips are well-moisturized. Do that by first exfoliating them (like with a DIY lip scrub), applying a "base" like shea butter (I sleep with shea butter on my lips at night), and then applying lip color. This season, a hue that is really big is a deep shade of brown (which looks absolutely amazing on us!). Make sure it's one that has a bit of a matte finish. Yeah, I know you're probably still wearing your mask (damn COVID!), but you've got to take it off at some point and your lips will look amazing once you do if they are covered in a beautiful brown color.
8. Get Accessories in Classic Fall Colors
Remember how I said in the intro that pampering is ALL ABOUT indulgence. I don't care if you've already got a good purse and some cute boots from last year — treat yourself to a few more accessories that are in signature fall colors including grey, brown, blue, orange, green, and red. One of my favorite things about accessories is they bring so much detail to an outfit. Plus, they're a great way to "switch up" a look if you don't have a lot of money to ball out on a new wardrobe this year.
9. Buy a Cable Knit Blanket
Personally, I'm of the belief that no matter how many blankets you already have, you really can't own enough of them — especially during the fall and winter seasons. So, if you don't already have a cable knit one, what are you waiting for? Something that's especially cool about this particular kind of blanket is it can keep you warm when you're cold yet it also has the ability to adapt to other temperatures which means that a cable knit blanket can pamper you all year-round…if you let it.
10. Use Hurricane Lanterns for Your Fall Soy-Scented Candles
Is there anything more romantic, seductive, or fall-invoking than a bedroom that is lit up with nothing but candles? Whether you're sleeping alone or with someone, to me, the answer is "no". Still, this ain't the movies, so you need to be careful lighting some up and then falling asleep. Something that can significantly decrease the risk of something catching on fire is putting your candles inside of a hurricane lantern or glass terrarium boxes. Just make sure that the candles are soy (they are cleaner and burn longer) and they have a fall scent to them. Some that fall into that category include apple, pomegranate, vanilla, pine, cinnamon, pumpkin, butterscotch, pecan, amber, and musk.
11. Bake (or Order) the Hell Outta Some Sweets
Although comfort food is pretty much bomb any season of the year, is there anything better than a hot bowl of soup or some soul food when it's freezing cold outside? While you probably don't want to go crazy out in these streets, why would you deny yourself the joy of a homemade baked good or even ordering some autumn-themed desserts right about now? Apple crisp (recipe here). Pumpkin spice cupcakes (recipe here). Pumpkin brownies (recipe here). Cranberry apple cobbler (recipe here). Vegan butternut squash pudding (recipe here). All sweet. All comforting. All autumn-themed.
12. Learn How to Make Mulled Wine and Herb Infusion
Pampering isn't truly pampering if you're not setting aside some time to sip on something that makes you feel good from head to toe, right? As we close this out, two drinks that have "fall" written all over them are mulled wine (which is red wine with spices added to it) and herb infusion (which is basically making tea except you are adding a lot more herbs and allowing them to steep for a much longer period of time). Since a lot of mulled wine recipes feature cinnamon (which is full of antioxidants) and/or nutmeg (which is a powerful detoxifier) and the herbs in teas can be super ideal for your immune system (check out "10 'Uncommon' Teas You Should Add To Your Stash (& Why)"), these two options are absolutely perfect for this time of the year.
A delicious mulled wine recipe is here and if you want to learn how to DIY an herb infusion, click here. How can all of these tips not make you feel pampered as you embrace even more of what fall has to offer, chile? Enjoy!
For more inspiration, self-care, and healing tips, check out xoNecole's Wellness section here.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
This Millionaire Lawyer Proves Principles and Strategy Can Still Lead to Wealth
Blake Walker Esq.’s story is not your typical "get rich quick" tale—it's a blueprint for building long-term wealth through strategic thinking, savvy investing, and faith. Blake’s journey took her from behind the scenes in entertainment and sports to becoming the Chief Legal Officer at Gala Games, a pioneering blockchain and entertainment company.
Along the way, she’s learned the importance of saving, investing, and setting herself—and her loved ones—up for lasting financial success. In this exclusive conversation with xoNecole, Blake shares the key money lessons she's learned, including how to make your income work for you, the power of multiple revenue streams, and why you don't need to be Instagram or TikTok (RIP,..maybe?) to become a millionaire.
Whether you're looking for investment tips or just need a mindset shift around money, Blake’s advice proves that with the right strategy and mindset, real wealth is possible.
On her background
Well, I’m originally from Baltimore, Maryland, but I was primarily raised in Scottsdale, Arizona. I was heavy into entertainment and sports growing up. Actually, in high school and college, I had my own radio show. But college is when I got into technology, Bitcoin, and cryptocurrencies. I’ve always loved research and the idea of being ahead of my time. I think that’s what led to a lot of my work.
My background includes working in the NBA for the Phoenix Suns, behind the scenes in production at companies like NBC Universal and Lionsgate, and then I transitioned into technology. Now, I’m the Chief Legal Officer of a large tech company that also incorporates entertainment and sports. So it’s full circle.
A lot of past experiences from the industry and in general, led me here. Entertainment, sports, and tech taught me to save, make, and invest money and set myself and my family up for a successful future.
I don't feel like I would have gotten that in other industries that are non-financial. I think you see a lot of people making mistakes in entertainment and sports. I've been taught about management of funds, not only by my parents but from my experiences at work.
On her relationship with money
So I grew up well, I always start with that to give my parents credit. But one of the reasons I’m so passionate about sharing my voice is because I noticed there was such a difference between my family in Arizona and my family in Maryland. The opportunities are vastly different.
I learned very early on about investments, stocks, and bonds. Also, I’ve never seen my mother work a regular job. She's always had her own business since I was young - so I learned the power of entrepreneurship. My mom would teach me about business and building something from the ground up. She started with not a lot and then skyrocketed into this massive business that took care of our family for over 20 years.
My Dad was really big into investments and stocks, learning about different currencies across the world and teaching about the importance of banking and the importance of saving. So from both of them, I had a pretty solid foundation that money is not everything. Being rooted in God and the Holy Spirit is what matters and being a blessing to others. But if you are not being a good steward of your finances, then how are you going to be a blessing for others?
I learned very early on about investments, stocks, and bonds. Also, I’ve never seen my mother work a regular job. She's always had her own business since I was young - so I learned the power of entrepreneurship. My mom would teach me about business and building something from the ground up. She started with not a lot and then skyrocketed into this massive business that took care of our family for over 20 years.
On unhealthy financial habits
I would say for me, the number one thing was shopping. Because I had access to funds at a young age, I had to learn what’s important early. Just because you have it doesn't mean you should spend it. That's where saving comes in. It’s all about balance. I mean, some people save too much, and that can come from a survival mindset.
Some people just spend it all because they think that the fountain is endless and money will just keep coming. Both are terrible concepts and routes to go down. Personally, I just had to learn to reel it in with fashion purchases. It was my stress relief. Some people go to the gym, some people eat, some people read a book, right? I would go to the mall, right? I had to learn to save and spend - that took away the guilty feeling.
On budgeting
I’ll tell you about mine for the year. It’s basically all about my fixed bills (like rent, mortgage, utilities, our payments, things of that nature). Then, I also have a budget for food, beverages, and going out. And I have a shopping budget so that I stay within a certain range. Also, I have an investment budget.
The way that you can do that with the investments is to figure out how much you make, then make sure a certain percentage of what you're making - net income is going towards investments. I don't care if it's small, something that you think won't make a difference. You never know what it’ll do years from now, and make sure those investments are spread throughout wherever they go. Finally I also have a budget for saving.
People operate differently. You can actually take the money out of your account and put it in an envelope or transfer it to an entirely different account. Speaking of bank accounts, it’s good to have one where your check is deposited and then a certain portion that you transfer over. You can have different accounts for transferring to a single account, they transfer to an investment account, so you can keep track of where your money is flowing to.
On a time when she struggled financially
When the market crashed, things were just hard. The life we were accustomed to, we just weren’t able to live anymore. It was like 2008 or 2009. I want to say I was 18, and it was such I strange time. I remember thinking, how do we pivot?
It taught me how much the market has an impact on our families. The biggest lesson, though, was the importance of planning. For me, it was all about learning how to have a strong foundation. We just had to keep going no matter who was calling or what bills were coming - we just kept going. It taught me a lot about the power of mindset.
It taught me how much the market has an impact on our families. The biggest lesson, though, was the importance of planning. For me, it was all about learning how to have a strong foundation. We just had to keep going no matter who was calling or what bills were coming - we just kept going. It taught me a lot about the power of mindset.
On her multiple streams
I have my salary that I make with the company that I work for. I work for a company called Gala. We're a blockchain technology company and entertainment company. And then, I also have what's called an unfamiliar term: nodes. Nodes are essentially what they distribute, what we call tokens. So, with the distribution of tokens, I make a certain amount of money each month.
Also, I have real estate. And then I have my money in a high-yield savings account, which you get money based off of your interest. I have a Goldman Sachs account called Marcus account. So [focus on] where you have your high-yield savings, your CDs. The idea is for your money to make money for you.
What I did is I would take Bitcoin [and] Aetherium cryptocurrencies; all of those are considered multiple streams, because I make money off of them. For example, this goes back to the investment. So if I have a property and I'm making a revenue stream off of that property, you double that revenue stream by putting it in different investments.
Then, at that point, let's say I make $100,000 a month off of one property, right? Let's say $25,000 of that is put into my Marcus account [with] a 4% interest rate, and then that money makes money for me. A portion of my salary goes to buying different cryptocurrencies. Make $100,000 free, then a portion of that is going to purchasing different currencies
On creating wealth with a 9-to-5
I tell people all the time if you're working a nine-to-five and you want to start your own business, use your salary and invest in a high-yield savings account. Don't just let it sit in your regular bank account, which is like point .001% or 3% account, and then the next thing you know, you can have an extra $10,000 to go towards the business that you want to start. The money should always be working for you.
I’m not for struggle vibes. I see so many people that are in my generation, that feel like they either have to be on social media to be successful. Being a millionaire at my age, I’m telling you, there's so many other routes! And you can do it at a young age; don’t wait until you’re 50 or 60 to start figuring it out.
On your final goal
I want more properties - globally. I've already started to get into the hotel business. I want my future children to be able to have tangible assets. Basically, I want a very diverse portfolio and a lot of real estate. It’s very much about generational wealth.
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