
I don't know about y'all, but autumn is my absolute favorite time of the year. As I was thinking about all of the things that I adore about it, I reminded myself that it's now time to get my va-jay-jay ready for cooler weather. What? Is there a light chuckle coming out of you as you stare at your monitor like I've completely lost my mind? While it might seem that way at first, you might be surprised how "winterizing your vagina" can actually do wonders for your overall health and well-being.
So, take a moment out of your crazy day to check out some of the things that I do to get my vagina in gear for fall and winter. Things that makes even "her" happy that this time of year has finally arrived—and can actually do wonders for your own if you're open to giving these tips a shot.
1. Up Your Probiotics
Yeeeeeah. Let's not act like October 31 (Halloween) through January 1 (New Year's Day) doesn't officially mark the time when a lot of us tend to consume more sweets than we do the rest of the year. When there's too much sugar in our bodies, that can actually trigger something that absolutely none of us want—a yeast infection. If you've ever wondered how in the world that happens, it's because, when sugar gets to a point of compromising our immune system, that can make it difficult for our immunity to prevent the overproduction of yeast within our body.
Something that can help to keep the good bacteria thriving in our system (so that sugar doesn't overtake our system) is upping our probiotic intake. First, try and get into the habit of taking a probiotic supplement that has somewhere around 10 billion colony-forming units (you can check out a list of 2020's best probiotics for women here). Also, it definitely can't hurt to consume foods that contain probiotics too. Some of those include fermented foods like pickles, kefir, miso, kombucha, Gouda and cheddar cheese and even beer.
2. Drink Some Hot Apple Cider
I don't know about y'all, but to me, a signature drink for fall (and winter) is hot apple cider. If you've ever wondered what the difference is between it and regular ole' apple juice, the long/short of it is apple juice goes through a filtration process that hot apple cider does not. Anyway, if you happen to be someone who knows that your estrogen levels are naturally low, that could throw your pH balance off which could also trigger a yeast infection. Drinking cider (or juice or eating apples) can help to keep your estrogen levels at a good place because apples contain phytoestrogens which are basically a plant compound that mimics how estrogen affects your body. (By the way, some other foods that contain phytoestrogens include pomegranates, garlic, carrots, potatoes, cherries, dried beans and even coffee.)
3. Watch the Alcohol Intake
Listen, I'm all for y'all turning up with a glass or a bottle from time to time. But balance is key. If you decide to use the fall and winter seasons to turn into a lush in these streets, it could end up wreaking havoc on your vagina and your sex life. The reason why is because too much alcohol consumption can actually lead to vaginal dryness as well as fatigue. So, anything more than a cup or two of mulled wine or glass of spiked eggnog a day might be pushing it. Either drink two glasses of water per serving of the booze or go without more than you initially planned to this year. Your va-jay-jay and libido will be thankful.
4. Keep Some Olive Oil in Tow
Here's something that you might've noticed but not given a ton of thought to. It's actually pretty common that your vagina can end up feeling dryer during the colder months of the year. The reason why is because things like too much alcohol, taking cold/flu medication or sleeping without a humidifier on in your bedroom (more on that in a bit) can all contribute to your vagina not getting the moisture that it needs. Something that can counter all of this is rubbing your vulva down with a little bit of olive oil.
Not only does it serve as a great moisturizer and natural lubricant (so long as you don't accompany it with condoms; oil oftentimes breaks condoms down), olive oil contains loads of antioxidants, a respectable amount of Vitamin E, and anti-inflammatory properties that can help to soothe any minor irritation that your vagina may be experiencing at any given time. Just make sure that you use extra virgin olive oil because, the purer the oil is, the better it will be for your sensitive genital region.
5. Grow Out Your Pubes
Personally, I see my vagina as being a big girl like the rest of me, so I prefer to have some hair on "her". The couple of times when I tried going totally bare, I felt like I was in elementary school again. But, as with most things in life, to each their own, right? Earlier this year, I wrote a piece for the platform on how even pubic hair has trends (you can check it out here) and yes, even when it comes to our pubes, there are all kinds of routes that you can take. However, since pubic hair does help to cushion the friction caused by penetration, it reduces the risk of getting an STD (because the hair can help to keep tiny nicks from occurring that could lead to transmission of infected bodily fluids), it helps to keep debris from actually getting into your vagina and, as an extra bonus, it helps to keep "her" warmer—if you're someone who goes bald or even has a little strip, why not grow it out, just a little bit more, this fall season? You might be surprised by how much you like it and how much more comfy you will feel if you do.
6. Get Some Wool Underwear
OK, so here's something that I bet you never contemplated before. While it's great to wear cotton (preferably organic cotton) panties so that your va-jay-jay can breathe if you want to keep her extra warm, get yourself a few wool ones. I know, it might sound crazy but the reality is that wool is a fabric that doesn't hold onto moisture which means that they are actually better at keeping your vagina from trapping in too much moisture which could lead to infections up the road. As a bonus, it doesn't hold on to odor either.
Who knew, chile? By the way, if you want to treat yourself to some wool drawers, Ice Breaker and Woolx are two sites that sell them.
7. Purchase a Lubricant Warmer
How cute is this? If you're someone who's getting more and more into using lubrication during sex, first, check out "If You've Always Wanted A 'Lubricant Cheat Sheet,' Here Ya Go". Then, do yourself a big favor and pick up a lubricant warmer. Love My Pulse is a company that actually sells massage oils, condom-friendly lubricants and yep, a lubricant dispenser that warms up your oils and lubes. I won't lie, it ain't cheap ($199). But again, if you are a fan of lubricant, I don't see how this couldn't be the kind of gift that just keeps on giving. Straight up.
8. Cop a Sex Toy Warmer Too
While you're out here shopping for your vagina, if sex toys are totally your thing, why not get yourself a sex toy warmer as well? Experience Warm is a company that offers a sex toy warmer (that looks a lot like a wallet) that will warm up, pretty much any sex toy you've got, in 15-20 minutes. This one will run you around a hundred bucks, but if you're sick of using your hands to make your favorite toy of choice feel even a little bit like room temperature, this could be the perfect solution.
9. Sleep with a Humidifier
Dry air is a major issue in the fall and winter season, in part, because we tend to rely more on the warm air that flows out of our HVAC units. But when that dry air doesn't have any moisture in it, not only can that increase the air pollution in your house, it can also make you more susceptible to colds, cause your sinuses to clog up, and definitely dry out your hair, skin, scalp and yes, your vagina. You can combat this by putting a humidifier in your bedroom. It's one of the best ways to give your skin (and genitalia) the moisture that it needs while promoting a better quality of sleep in the process.
10. Invest in Some Flannel Sheets
I don't care what time of year it is, you should make it your ambition to sleep in the nude. One of the benefits mentioned in our article, "Yes, Sleeping Naked Could Help Your Anxiety & Sleep Pattern" is it's another way to reduce your chances of getting a yeast infection because your vagina is able to breathe (and not accumulate excess moisture) throughout the night. Sleeping naked can also help your body to regulate your hormones and metabolism while increasing your melatonin levels, so that you're able to sleep more soundly. If you're hesitant to do this during the fall and winter because it's colder and you don't want to turn up your electronic thermostat to the point where you'll be dead ass broke come March, get yourself some flannel bedding or some jersey knit ones. Both are warm, mad comfortable and make sleeping naked a pleasure from now until the spring season arrives. You'll love 'em, your vagina will love 'em and it'll be all good—no matter how cold it gets. It's one of the absolute best ways to winterize your vagina. Trust. Me. #wink
Featured image by Shutterstock
Because We Are Still IT, Girl: It Girl 100 Returns
Last year, when our xoNecole team dropped our inaugural It Girl 100 honoree list, the world felt, ahem, a bit brighter.
It was March 2024, and we still had a Black woman as the Vice President of the United States. DEI rollbacks weren’t being tossed around like confetti. And more than 300,000 Black women were still gainfully employed in the workforce.
Though that was just nineteen months ago, things were different. Perhaps the world then felt more receptive to our light as Black women.
At the time, we launched It Girl 100 to spotlight the huge motion we were making as dope, GenZennial Black women leaving our mark on culture. The girls were on the rise, flourishing, drinking their water, minding their business, leading companies, and learning to do it all softly, in rest. We wanted to celebrate that momentum—because we love that for us.
So, we handpicked one hundred It Girls who embody that palpable It Factor moving through us as young Black women, the kind of motion lighting up the world both IRL and across the internet.
It Girl 100 became xoNecole’s most successful program, with the hashtag organically reaching more than forty million impressions on Instagram in just twenty-four hours. Yes, it caught on like wildfire because we celebrated some of the most brilliant and influential GenZennial women of color setting trends and shaping culture. But more than that, it resonated because the women we celebrated felt seen.
Many were already known in their industries for keeping this generation fly and lit, but rarely received recognition or flowers. It Girl 100 became a safe space to be uplifted, and for us as Black women to bask in what felt like an era of our brilliance, beauty, and boundless influence on full display.
And then, almost overnight, it was as if the rug was pulled from under us as Black women, as the It Girls of the world.
Our much-needed, much-deserved season of ease and soft living quickly metamorphosed into a time of self-preservation and survival. Our motion and economic progression seemed strategically slowed, our light under siege.
The air feels heavier now. The headlines colder. Our Black girl magic is being picked apart and politicized for simply existing.
With that climate shift, as we prepare to launch our second annual It Girl 100 honoree list, our team has had to dig deep on the purpose and intention behind this year’s list. Knowing the spirit of It Girl 100 is about motion, sauce, strides, and progression, how do we celebrate amid uncertainty and collective grief when the juice feels like it is being squeezed out of us?
As we wrestled with that question, we were reminded that this tension isn’t new. Black women have always had to find joy in the midst of struggle, to create light even in the darkest corners. We have carried the weight of scrutiny for generations, expected to be strong, to serve, to smile through the sting. But this moment feels different. It feels deeply personal.
We are living at the intersection of liberation and backlash. We are learning to take off our capes, to say no when we are tired, to embrace softness without apology.
And somehow, the world has found new ways to punish us for it.

In lifestyle, women like Kayla Nicole and Ayesha Curry have been ridiculed for daring to choose themselves. Tracee Ellis Ross was labeled bitter for speaking her truth about love. Meghan Markle, still, cannot breathe without critique.
In politics, Kamala Harris, Letitia James, and Jasmine Crockett are dragged through the mud for standing tall in rooms not built for them.
In sports, Angel Reese, Coco Gauff, and Taylor Townsend have been reminded that even excellence will not shield you from racism or judgment.

In business, visionaries like Diarrha N’Diaye-Mbaye and Melissa Butler are fighting to keep their dreams alive in an economy that too often forgets us first.
Even our icons, Beyoncé, Serena, and SZA, have faced criticism simply for evolving beyond the boxes society tried to keep them in.
From everyday women to cultural phenoms, the pattern is the same. Our light is being tested.

And yet, somehow, through it all, we are still showing up as that girl, and that deserves to be celebrated.
Because while the world debates our worth, we keep raising our value. And that proof is all around us.
This year alone, Naomi Osaka returned from motherhood and mental health challenges to reach the semifinals of the US Open. A’ja Wilson claimed another MVP, reminding us that beauty and dominance can coexist. Brandy and Monica are snatching our edges on tour. Kahlana Barfield Brown sold out her new line in the face of a retailer that had been canceled. And Melissa Butler’s company, The Lip Bar, is projecting a forty percent surge in sales.

We are no longer defining strength by how much pain we can endure. We are defining it by the unbreakable light we continue to radiate.
We are the women walking our daily steps and also continuing to run solid businesses. We are growing in love, taking solo trips, laughing until it hurts, raising babies and ideas, drinking our green juice, and praying our peace back into existence.
We are rediscovering the joy of rest and realizing that softness is not weakness, it is strategy.
And through it all, we continue to lift one another. Emma Grede is creating seats at the table. Valeisha Butterfield has started a fund for jobless Black women. Arian Simone is leading in media with fearless conviction. We are pouring into each other in ways the world rarely sees but always feels.

So yes, we are in the midst of societal warfare. Yes, we are being tested. Yes, we are facing economic strain, political targeting, and public scrutiny. But even war cannot dim a light that is divinely ours.
And we are still shining.
And we are still softening.
And we are still creating.
And we are still It.

That is the quiet magic of Black womanhood, our ability to hold both truth and triumph in the same breath, to say yes, and to life’s contradictions.
It is no coincidence that this year, as SheaMoisture embraces the message “Yes, And,” they stand beside us as partners in celebrating this class of It Girls. Because that phrase, those two simple words, capture the very essence of this moment.
Yes, we are tired. And we are still rising.
Yes, we are questioned. And we are the answer.
Yes, we are bruised. And we are still beautiful.

This year’s It Girl 100 is more than a list. It is a love letter to every Black woman who dares to live out loud in a world that would rather she whisper. This year’s class is living proof of “Yes, And,” women who are finding ways to thrive and to heal, to build and to rest, to lead and to love, all at once.
It is proof that our joy is not naive, our success not accidental. It is the reminder that our light has never needed permission.
So without further ado, we celebrate the It Girl 100 Class of 2025–2026.
We celebrate the millions of us who keep doing it with grace, grit, and glory.
Because despite it all, we still shine.
Because we are still her.
Because we are still IT, girl.
Meet all 100 women shaping culture in the It Girl 100 Class of 2025. View the complete list of honorees here.
Featured image by xoStaff
Give Thanks: 10 Tips For Hosting An Absolutely Awesome Friendsgiving
If you’ve never checked out an episode of the ReLiving Single Podcast featuring Maxine and Synclaire — oops, I mean Erika Alexander and Kim Coles — it’s worth listening to an episode or two; especially if you’re someone like me who watches the Living Single reruns on TV One, sometimes, like they just came out. Good times.
And what does this even remotely have to do with Friendsgiving? Well, if you ever wondered what the origin story of this non-holiday-holiday is, legend has it that it’s mostly due to the combination of a 2007 tweet and the show that tries to act like it wasn’t birthed out of Living Single: Friends (I’m not the only one who feels this way either; you can read more about all of that here, here and here).
Apparently, there was a Thanksgiving episode that featured all of the friends having dinner together. And y’all, there was simply no way that I was going to mention the latter without shouting out the original (amen?).
Okay, so with that out of the way — Friendsgiving. Something that I appreciate about twists to holidays like this is that it’s a reminder that there is no one way to celebrate special occasions. And so, if, for whatever the reason, you will not or cannot be with family during the holiday season, there are certainly other alternatives at your disposal.
That being said, if the thought of spending time with friends this Thanksgiving is something that you’d like to do, yet you’re not sure how to host it in a way that will make Friendsgiving a fan favorite for your entire circle — I’ve got 10 suggestions that can make the planning process easy as pumpkin (or sweet potato) pie.
1. Position Chrysanthemums or Orchids for Your Table Décor

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Let’s start with décor first. Listen, aside from cleaning up your place, you don’t have to be over the top. If you put together a really nice centerpiece or put a flower at each table setting, honestly, you’re all good. And if you’re someone who is big on details and symbolism, my recommendation would be to go with some chrysanthemums and/or orchids.
When it comes to chrysanthemums, not only are they a peak fall flower, they represent things like friendship and happiness. And orchids? They tend to bloom during the fall and spring seasons and, not only are they about luxury, certain orchid colors also symbolize friendship (for the record, yellow roses symbolize friendship too). Perfect.
2. Incorporate Scents That Cultivate Gratitude
Speaking of cultivating a warm and inviting space, you can never go wrong with scented soy candles — or at least having an essential oil diffuser in a few spots. Some scents that actually help to bring in the spirit of gratitude include vanilla, jasmine, ginger, cedarwood and frankincense.
3. Use Upscale Paper Products to Dine With

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Let’s be real — a lot more of us would probably host events in our home if it wasn’t for the mess that is left behind in our kitchen once the festivities are over. Wanna avoid that? Use paper plates. No, I don’t mean the cheap Styrofoam ones. SMDH. These days, there are paper (and plastic) plate brands that will low-key blow your mind when it comes to how bougie they look. Some that are worth considering are located here, here and here.
4. Handwrite Thank-You Notes (Use Them As Place Settings)
If you’re like Tiffany (from the HBO series Insecure — what a time) was at that memorable dinner party when all hell broke loose between Lawrence and Issa and you’re pretty anal — I mean, particular — LOL — about place settings, it’s a nice touch to pick up some blank thank-you cards that you can write a personalized “I’m thankful for you because…” message in. Place each one where you’d like each friend to sit. They won’t see it coming and it’s a really nice touch.
5. Have Everyone Bring Their Favorite Homemade Dish

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Okay, and what if what has you on the fence about hosting is you don’t feel like doing a ton of cooking? Chile, this is where the concept of having a potluck comes in. Get everyone to bring the dish that they claim they cook the best and make sure to let them know how many individuals you plan on coming (so that they will make enough). You can even make a game out of it by having everyone anonymously vote for the first, second and third best dishes out of the bunch. Take it up a notch by having a prize for each winner.
6. Take a Warm Drink and Dessert Poll Beforehand
You know what isn’t discussed enough about dinner parties? Folks bringing desserts that other people don’t even like. SMDH. You can avoid this from becoming an issue at your Friendsgiving by sending an email (most people prefer that to group chats; let’s be real — and make sure to BCC everyone as well) asking everyone to share what their top three favorite desserts and warm drinks are. Then pick the top 2-3 out of the bunch. That way, you won’t have a ton of (for instance) coffee cake or apple cider lying around that no one even wanted in the first place.
7. Create a Signature Friendsgiving Mocktail and Cocktail

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Speaking of drinks, another way to make your Friendsgiving memorable is to come up with a signature mocktail (for those who don’t consume alcohol) and cocktail. For the mocktail, you can also poll your friends about their favorite mocktail or fruits and come up with a mixture of your own. For the cocktail — although National Friendship Day is actually in August, I did peep that there are certain drinks that have been created in its honor. Some of them are located here for you to do a bit of tweaking on (if you’d like).
8. Ask Everyone to Share Their “Favorite Friend Quality” of Another
You know how it’s customary for everyone to go around and share what they are truly thankful for before having dinner? Well, to continue along with the Friendsgiving theme, have each person share what their favorite friend quality is about the person to their right. If folks are just meeting each other for the first time, instead they can share what they value the most in friendship overall, along with a story of how it was displayed to them personally over the past 12 months.
9. Send Each of Your Guests Home with a Fresh Gratitude Journal

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Wanna send folks home with a nice parting gift? It would be so on-trend to give each of them a gratitude journal. Listen, we are in some crazy times right through here (at least in the States) and so, encouraging your friends to set some time aside, regularly, to think about and then outwardly express what they are grateful for? That helps to keep stress down, keep things in perspective and it reminds us all to maintain a positive mindset as much as possible.
10. Watch a Nostalgic Movie
While everyone is enjoying dessert and drinks, how about watching a movie that brings back fond memories? A list of some of the most popular movies to come out previous Thanksgiving weekends is located here and a list of some favorite Black holiday-themed films can be found here. It’s a way to wind down and share some laughs before everyone heads home.
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Friendsgiving. What a wonderful way to celebrate your friends while also observing Thanksgiving in a way that is totally on your terms. And now that you know how to put it together, what are you waiting for? Hit your friends up and let them know that, whether it’s on actual Thanksgiving Day or a few days before or after, you’ve got a special dinner in mind.
One that has a good time with amazing friends written ALL over it.
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Featured image by PeopleImages/Shutterstock









