
This Entrepreneur Is Living Proof That Investing In Yourself Helps Shape The Life You Desire

Money Talksis an xoNecole series where we talk candidly to real women about how they spend money, their relationship with money, and how they get it.
When Jillian Smith turned 30 years old, she did what many of us do – started wondering about what the next chapter of her life would be like. She was spending her days working in the corporate world and her evenings planning events for friends and family. And by most standards, doing pretty well. But still, she yearned for more; she desired to start her own business. So, after a lot of hard work and thought, she launched OneTouch Events– all by herself.
Fast forward to today, she’s a newlywed, known for her “pretty conferences,” and works with a group of trusted contractors. Her clients range from thought leaders to speakers, business coaches, and more. OneTouch also hosts celebrations of love, like weddings, general events, and more. Actually, they just secured their first national brand with the beloved fast food chain, Whataburger, planning and managing the chain's 1000th grand opening during its expansion throughout Georgia.
It all seems so simple, right? But my thoughts on stories like this are always, how? It’s like, okay, that sounds cool, but– how did you keep paying your bills in the beginning? Or friends and family are one thing, but when did you start finding consistent clients? Well, in this conversation with xoNecole, Jillian broke down the importance of investing in yourself, financial literacy, and how having a clear vision for your life helped her tangibly turn her goals into a reality.
Can you share some of the experience you gained from previously working in corporate America? What did you take with you to OneTouch Events?
I previously worked for Accenture, a Fortune 500 consulting firm, and it’s where I learned people and process management, organizational structure, and business methodology. It was very rigorous and fast-paced, and I was often the only Black person or woman in the room.
But I brought all of my experiences to OneTouch. It’s a boutique firm, but we run it like a Fortune 500 company. For example, before I advertised anything, I had all of our systems built. We had two websites and a clear methodology. From my entry-level roles to manager level, I took a lot of those skills with me.
Jillian Smith
Photo by Andre Brown
Congrats on the current success of the business, but can you talk to me about the financial struggles you endured starting the process? Let’s take it from the top.
I experienced all the things that no one tells you about running a business. First, I created it while still working at Home Depot corporate. When I made that first leap, I didn’t understand cash flow. I just didn’t know what it took to continue running my business, paying bills, and how to structure contracts and invoices. My first financial blow was in that first couple of years. I mean, I had to actually use my 401k to pay bills.
There’s a notion that says, "You have to spend money to make money,” but I learned you have to invest to make money.” And that’s when things changed for me – I paid for a business coach. They taught me how to structure contracts, payments, and etc. There's a lot of free knowledge online, but sometimes those avenues don’t actually teach practicality and what you’ll need to work through. I knew the main elements because of my knowledge base, but I still needed to be educated by someone who understood the industry.
There’s a notion that says, "You have to spend money to make money,” but I learned you have to invest to make money.” And that’s when things changed for me.
What is the best and worst business advice you’ve ever received?
The worst is that you should pay attention to your competition. The reason I say that is because I work better with blinders on. I believe when you pay attention to others, you start to pigeonhole yourself. Our competition is us.
The best piece of advice is to take time to be grateful. Gratefulness has been lost in business and life. Success, business, and life isn’t promised. There are so many people that pour into us and we just have to be grateful for them.
Do you have any money mantras you practice or hold to?
On the productivity side, I’d have to say my “Money Mornings,” which is all about being first. If we’re the first to respond, the first on the books, the first consultation – usually we’ll be there first to the table. Don’t be afraid to start early.
When it comes to affirmations, I’m more biblically based, so for everything, I turn to Proverbs 3:5-6, 'Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths.'
Yes, I love that. Earlier, you mentioned a bit on investing; I’d like to dig into that. What does it look like for you, professionally and personally?
I’ve always looked at life transactionally. Because of that, I invested a lot in the business – I always wanted us to have updated technology and practices. I mean, I invested in a brand designer, business manager, and bookkeeper. My website isn’t just pretty, it brings in a strong ROI (return on investment).
But personally, I actively invest in self-care. It’s something we put on the back burner until you start feeling it in your body. High blood pressure, strokes, and heart attacks are real things. The event planning industry is one of the top 5 most stressful fields. It took me a while to understand the importance of self-care. But now I know you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. My gym membership and health is very important.
Would you consider yourself a saver or a spender?
I am a saver. I actually need to spend more on myself. I’m very conservative when it comes to my finances.
I feel like you are in the minority with that answer. Have you always been good with money?
Actually, yes. I can remember being in high school wanting a pager, and my parents told me they weren’t paying for it. I literally got a job and bought my own. So, I’ve kinda always been like that for as long as I can remember, very goal-oriented.
Jillian Smith
Photo by Andre Brown
Do you have any budgeting tips for us then?
Most of us come out of college with a lot of credit card debt. So, the first recommendation is to get comfortable with how you spend and your balances. I had a spreadsheet with each card with line items and percentage rates, and I just started paying the highest down. But I also saved at the same time. If you’re new to saving, starting with a high-yield online account helps, too. Just start small. It could be $50 to auto-transfer every month, and it’ll grow it over time.
"If you’re new to saving, starting with a high-yield online account helps, too. Just start small. It could be $50 to auto-transfer every month, and it’ll grow it over time."
Out of curiosity, what’s your go-to splurge?
I love a spa. But not like the basic ones. Like, I’m going to the Four Seasons. And also, I don’t really cook a lot, so yes - I’ll eat out. I’m on Zoom like all day, every day, taking meetings, so those are my necessary splurges.
And have you reached your goal? If not, what’s next?
I’m insatiable with my goals, so no – they just keep growing. But a long-term one is to open up my own event facility, that’s in a nice area in the city. I want to be able to compete with some of the top venues in Atlanta.
It’s giving luxury. Finally, can you break down how you define wealth?
I’d define wealth as finance and fulfillment. In finance, it means OneTouch Events can invest in our people, our bills are paid, and we have a surplus. Like for example, last summer, I just gave the team a week off to just decompress for no reason, and we had team outings.
Personally, being wealthy is being comfortable in my skin. Last year I spent so much time with my family because I didn’t feel the need to work 24/7 like I envisioned. Wealth and fulfillment is being able to live a well-rounded life.
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Feature image by Andre Brown
Kirby Carroll grew up in VA but now calls Atlanta, GA home. She has a passion for creating content and helping brands grow through storytelling and public relations. When not immersed in work, you can find her sipping a mimosa at brunch or bingeing a new TV drama on Netflix. Keep up with her on social media at @askKirbyCarroll.
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
Does hearing the phrase, “you’re such a good girl,” during sex turn you on? If so, you might have a “praise kink.” When I hear the term praise kink, the church girl in me wants to immediately play “The Lady, Her Lover and Lord” while riding reverse cowgirl. But that’s not what is meant by the term praise kink.
A “praise kink” is a sexual fetish that focuses on overt praise, exaggerated compliments, and an outpouring of verbal affection.
What Is a Praise Kink?
The concept of praise kinks isn't new, but thanks to TikTok, a lot of people are now realizing they might identify as praise kinksters. Currently, the hashtag #praisek1nk is trending with 568.9 million views, with tons of creators posting about their love for compliments and words of affirmation during sex. I, too, love a good compliment during sex. I once had a lover sing my praises about how good I was at a certain bedroom activity. His affirmations gave me WAP, but does that categorize me as having a praise kink?
How To Know if You Have a Praise Kink
Just because you love receiving praise doesn’t mean you have a praise kink. Someone with a praise kink experiences an intense level of sexual excitement from being praised or verbally affirmed by their partner during sex. You might have a praise kink if hearing your partner tell you how pretty you are makes you cum or if the thing that makes sex go from good to great is hearing your partner's thoughts about how good you are at giving head. And if, during solo play, the thing that gets you all hot and bothered is recalling the times your partner called you a good girl, it’s probably a praise kink.
Generally, a kink is a sexual activity that is needed for someone to enjoy sex. When it comes specifically to praise kinks, if you need reassurance from your partner that you're sexy, or good in bed in order to orgasm, you have a praise kink.
filadendron/Getty Images
Examples of Praise Kink Phrases To Try With Your Partner
If you’re new to the term and looking to explore, you probably have questions about what phrases to use. It may take a lot of communication and some trial and error to figure out what phrases work best for you and your partner. Ultimately, the best phrases to use vary from person to person and are based on what sex acts you and your partner enjoy, or what parts of their body they like complimented.
To get you started, here are some generic praise kink examples to try out with your partner:
Praise Kink Examples:
- You're such a good girl/boy.
- You're so good at [insert skill].
- You look so hot when you [insert activity].
- Your [insert body part] is irresistible.
- You taste so good. I can't get enough of you.
- You just have the perfect [body part].
- Just like that… you’re doing so good.
- Who taught you how to be so good at [something?]
While many examples of praise kink involve specific verbal affirmations, praise can also come in the form of brief words or phrases like “yes,” “keep going,” or simply a moan. No matter what type you prefer, praise kink is all about finding what feels good and exciting, and turns you and your partner on the most.
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Originally published on November 4, 2022