Talking about money matters is taboo.
Disclosing how much money we make or being open about how much debt we owe is not on the list of topics to talk about at Brunch on Sunday. It makes people uncomfortable, and as someone that has had a love-hate relationship with my finances, I understand why. Most of us are trying to navigate our monthly financially responsibilities, chase our dreams, and build our futures.
When I moved cross-country for my residency at BuzzFeed, I was swimming in over $10,000 in credit card debt (most of which came from self-funding Mae B).
My financial struggles made it hard for me to wrap my head around starting over in a new city where the median rent is $2,480 per month for a two-bedroom apartment. I knew that surviving on my hourly rate was going to be tough. I also knew it would be even more of a challenge if I went into this new chapter of my life afraid to sit down face to face with my finances.
So, I sought counsel from the one person I knew would help me get things in order: my dad. For years, my dad would try to get me to sit down and unpack where I was financially, but I was embarrassed and afraid that he'd scold me for not being smarter about my money. I spent years and thousands of dollars chasing my dreams of being on-camera and investing in building Mae B. I also spent years saying to myself, "If I just book this gig or if this product is a bestseller, I'll be able to pay off everything."
Looking back, using potential nonexistent income to justify overspending, even if it was to make my dreams come true, wasn't reasonable. Making your dreams a reality costs money. Nearly ten years later, I realize, I didn't have to be a starving creative to bring those dreams to fruition.
Financial planning is the key to success in life and building a career.
The first thing I did to start the process of gaining control of my financial situation was to sit down and look at all of my debt, monthly bills, my FICO score, and my projected net income each month. For years, I dreaded looking my debt. In my mind, I felt that if I just made my monthly payments and looked a way that somehow my debt would magically disappear. I was wrong.
Here is how I'm taking control of my financials while chasing my dreams:
Draft An Excel Spreadsheet
We're lucky to live in a digital world that allows us to check our account balance in seconds. But, what happens when you go out over the weekend, those pending charges hit your account, and the next thing you know you're staring at an overdraft fee? Annoying, right?
I no longer use an app to curate my finances. I use an old school excel spreadsheet. I set my budget on the first of every month, and each Sunday, I check in to see where I am for the month. Seeing my bills, debt, and disposable income has helped me organize my money —and save twenty percent of my income each month (I'll talk more about that later).
Mint offers some great free budget templates that can act as samples you can work with when creating your own budget.
Get Rid of Lingering Credit Card Debt
I have carried the shame of digging myself into a $10,000 debit hole for longer than I care to admit, but now that I am looking my credit card debt square in the eye, I feel empowered. After looking at each credit card, the outstanding balance, and its interest rate — my dad recommended I focus on paying off my Discover card first. Why? Well, it has the highest interest rate out of all of my cards. With a twenty percent interest rate, I was never going to pay off my balance paying my seventy dollars minimum payment each month. Each month, I have a recurring payment of $150, and I often contribute more if I have money left over for the month.
Have Multiple Streams of Income
If the objective is to secure the bag, you must have multiple streams of income. In a panel, Paula Madison (If you don't know her, you should) gave the best advice. She said your full-time job should be your side hustle. Now, that doesn't mean neglect the nine to five that keeps the lights on and food on the table, but there is value in pursuing things you're passionate about outside of your job.
As a freelancer, I can bounce from gig to gig, but freelancing also has its flaws. No health insurance, no job security, and when our contracts are up (usually three to six months), you have to find your next job. So, I always have an extra stream of income. It's a great way to impact your savings, pay off your debts, and build on something you love. I used to think of extra income as throw away money, but now I see it as extra money to save. There are opportunities everywhere to make a few extra dollars, whether you freelance write on the weekends or bake cakes for a few parties each month.
Plan For The Future
When you're young and ambitious, retirement might not be a top priority. CNN Money released a reporting stating that sixty-six percent of millennials have nothing saved for retirement. As a millennial that only has a few thousand dollars saved for retirement, I can relate. I also recognize this is something I need to fix. If I don't start saving for retirement now, I am mapping out a financial path similar to the one I was on for the last ten years. I have opened an IRA, but if I'm honest, I'm still learning how to save properly for retirement. With guidance from my financially savvy dad and articles like this one, I think I am headed in the right direction.
We can't forget to grow our savings account. It is a rule of thumb that we should save at least twenty percent of our monthly income. With student loans, health care (my premium is almost $300 a month.), and unforeseen expenses that can be hard to do. Instead of waiting until the end of the month to save twenty percent, I break my earnings down for the week like I do my expenses for the month. I pay my bills, shop for groceries, and whatever is left over at the end of the week, I save. Sometimes it's only ten percent of my earning, but it's something.
Trim The Unnecessary Spending
When I started my new gig in LA, I was throwing away money on morning coffee, fifteen dollar lunch dates, and UBER since I am one of the only people in LA that doesn't drive. If I was going to stay the course and continue to work on my finances, I had to rein in the miscellaneous spending. I saw the most significant difference in my monthly expenses when I cut out UBER and started taking public transportation. Taking public transit in Los Angeles isn't ideal. It's slow and dirty, but the bus stop is right outside of my house. Each morning, I take a bus to a train and walk a mile to get to work.
A commute like that coupled with the homelessness I take in every day does wear on me (Los Angeles County has the second largest population of homeless people of any region in the United States), but it keeps me humble. Not to mention, I am saving nearly ninety dollars a week. I have cut out all of my excess spending, including online shopping, three dollar morning coffee, and fifteen dollar lunch dates, and have committed to meal prepping each Sunday. I am living a no-frills lifestyle, but I don't mind. I am learning to be financially disciplined.
I understand that sacrificing now will set me up to live a debt-free, financially healthy life later.
I don't have this financial game down just yet, but the key is starting somewhere. If that means cutting weekend brunches, saving fifty dollars more each month, or picking up a job to bring in extra cash, small changes can make an impact. In the last six months, I paid off one credit card, saved twenty percent of my earnings (My savings account has never looked so good!), and changed my relationship with money.
Take it a day at a time, and if you have an off month don't beat yourself up about it. We're human, and it takes time to create new habits.
- How to Get Out of Credit Card Debt - NerdWallet ›
- Credit Card Help: 8 things you must know about credit card debt ... ›
- How to Pay Off Your Oppressive Credit Card Debt - Credit.com ›
- Settling Credit Card Debt | Consumer Information ›
- Credit card debt can be bad for your health ›
- Credit card debt hits record high ›
Bianca Lambert is a proud Atlanta native soaking up the Los Angeles sun. She is the founder of Mae B: a stationery company for women of color and a digital content creator on a mission to elevate the voices of women of color everywhere.
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
Entertaining Like Ayesha Curry: Expert Advice For Holidays Done Right
Be prepared to wow the crowd.
It’s officially the holiday season, which means parties and gatherings galore. Between Friendsgiving, Christmas, and New Year's Eve celebrations, many of us are preparing to host loved ones in our homes one or two times between now and the end of the year. No matter the occasion or season, hosting for family and friends is a labor of love. But we can also agree that entertaining can be overwhelming, especially for first-time hosts.
As a seasoned host and entertainer, Ayesha Curry knows something about creating a memorable event for loved ones. Whether preparing for an intimate dinner with your immediate family or hosting a larger crowd, your guests will think you are a pro this holiday season with her tips on everything from welcoming guests to setting a beautiful table.
Q: What is your top tip for hosting?
Ayesha Curry:Part of being a great host is spending time with your guests, which means you can’t be stuck in the kitchen. Prep is key! I usually serve wine with the meal, but a cocktail or mocktail is a great way to greet guests. I prep the garnish the night before and batch the drink just before guests arrive. When the party begins, I pull everything out of the fridge and am ready to serve.
Writer Note: If you would like to offer non-alcoholic beverages for your sober or sober-curious guests, I love Saint Viviana Cab. It maintains full-body cabernet and flavor; no one will ever guess it’s alcohol-free. You can easily create a signature mocktail using Bittermilk’s Smoked Honey Whiskey Sour mix.
Q: Do you suggest any prep for serving or cooking?
AC:I lay out all my serving dishes and utensils the night before with little post-it notes saying what goes where. That way, I’m not digging around for anything. For more elaborate menus, I lay out quarter sheet pans and label them with tape according to the dish. I prep and measure everything for each recipe and then load each sheet pan with everything needed to make the dish. I wrap each tray in saran or foil, stack them, and place them in the fridge. Pull out the sheet pan you need when cooking, and everything is ready. It’s something I learned at the restaurant that saves so much time.
Q: What’s one item that should always be on a dinner party menu?
AC: Bread or roll with butter is excellent for holding guests over if the kitchen is delayed.
Q: What’s one non-menu item you should always have on hand?
AC: For a non-menu item, wine!
Q: How do you decide on a theme or menu for a gathering?
AC: It all starts with the occasion and the guest list. If it’s a group that doesn’t know each other very well, I may get more elaborate with the theme to help break the ice. For a group of friends or family who don’t get to see each other very often, I usually keep it simple so the evening can be all about catching up. A great playlist, good wine, and a family-style menu are all you need.
Q: Should attendees be expected to bring a gift?
AC: If I’m hosting, I’m not expecting gifts. The gift is taking time to come over and enjoy a meal with me! But bringing something to enjoy at the gathering, like a bottle of wine, is always appreciated.
Q: What are three affordable gifts that guests can give a host?
AC:A bag of excellent coffee is a beautiful gift for a host. Sweet July’s House Blend Coffee is sourced from all-female co-ops, so it’s a gift I love to give to the women in my life. Whether it’s being served after dinner or just for the host to enjoy on their own, you can’t go wrong with a bag of high-end coffee.
Fresh flowers are great if you have a host who likes total control over the food and beverage menu. Go for something neutral in color that can work with any décor.
The Sweet July Olive Oil and Balsamic Vinegar set is my go-to host gift. Bottled in Napa, it’s a gift any foodie will appreciate - and use!
Q: What are some creative tablescape or decor ideas that you love?
AC: I like to keep my dinnerware neutral and classic (like this ceramic collection in nutmeg) and infuse color and texture through linens. For centerpieces, I want to use what I have in my yard. If it’s summer, it might be flowers or greenery, but interesting branches can also look architectural in tall, clear vases next to tapered candles in the colder months. There’s no need to spend a ton of money on flowers.
With Ayesha’s tips, you can create a holiday gathering that your family and friends will cherish forever.
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Featured image by Getty Images