Talking about money matters is taboo.
Disclosing how much money we make or being open about how much debt we owe is not on the list of topics to talk about at Brunch on Sunday. It makes people uncomfortable, and as someone that has had a love-hate relationship with my finances, I understand why. Most of us are trying to navigate our monthly financially responsibilities, chase our dreams, and build our futures.
When I moved cross-country for my residency at BuzzFeed, I was swimming in over $10,000 in credit card debt (most of which came from self-funding Mae B).
My financial struggles made it hard for me to wrap my head around starting over in a new city where the median rent is $2,480 per month for a two-bedroom apartment. I knew that surviving on my hourly rate was going to be tough. I also knew it would be even more of a challenge if I went into this new chapter of my life afraid to sit down face to face with my finances.
So, I sought counsel from the one person I knew would help me get things in order: my dad. For years, my dad would try to get me to sit down and unpack where I was financially, but I was embarrassed and afraid that he'd scold me for not being smarter about my money. I spent years and thousands of dollars chasing my dreams of being on-camera and investing in building Mae B. I also spent years saying to myself, "If I just book this gig or if this product is a bestseller, I'll be able to pay off everything."
Looking back, using potential nonexistent income to justify overspending, even if it was to make my dreams come true, wasn't reasonable. Making your dreams a reality costs money. Nearly ten years later, I realize, I didn't have to be a starving creative to bring those dreams to fruition.
Financial planning is the key to success in life and building a career.
The first thing I did to start the process of gaining control of my financial situation was to sit down and look at all of my debt, monthly bills, my FICO score, and my projected net income each month. For years, I dreaded looking my debt. In my mind, I felt that if I just made my monthly payments and looked a way that somehow my debt would magically disappear. I was wrong.
Here is how I'm taking control of my financials while chasing my dreams:
Draft An Excel Spreadsheet
We're lucky to live in a digital world that allows us to check our account balance in seconds. But, what happens when you go out over the weekend, those pending charges hit your account, and the next thing you know you're staring at an overdraft fee? Annoying, right?
I no longer use an app to curate my finances. I use an old school excel spreadsheet. I set my budget on the first of every month, and each Sunday, I check in to see where I am for the month. Seeing my bills, debt, and disposable income has helped me organize my money —and save twenty percent of my income each month (I'll talk more about that later).
Mint offers some great free budget templates that can act as samples you can work with when creating your own budget.
Get Rid of Lingering Credit Card Debt
I have carried the shame of digging myself into a $10,000 debit hole for longer than I care to admit, but now that I am looking my credit card debt square in the eye, I feel empowered. After looking at each credit card, the outstanding balance, and its interest rate — my dad recommended I focus on paying off my Discover card first. Why? Well, it has the highest interest rate out of all of my cards. With a twenty percent interest rate, I was never going to pay off my balance paying my seventy dollars minimum payment each month. Each month, I have a recurring payment of $150, and I often contribute more if I have money left over for the month.
Have Multiple Streams of Income
If the objective is to secure the bag, you must have multiple streams of income. In a panel, Paula Madison (If you don't know her, you should) gave the best advice. She said your full-time job should be your side hustle. Now, that doesn't mean neglect the nine to five that keeps the lights on and food on the table, but there is value in pursuing things you're passionate about outside of your job.
As a freelancer, I can bounce from gig to gig, but freelancing also has its flaws. No health insurance, no job security, and when our contracts are up (usually three to six months), you have to find your next job. So, I always have an extra stream of income. It's a great way to impact your savings, pay off your debts, and build on something you love. I used to think of extra income as throw away money, but now I see it as extra money to save. There are opportunities everywhere to make a few extra dollars, whether you freelance write on the weekends or bake cakes for a few parties each month.
Plan For The Future
When you're young and ambitious, retirement might not be a top priority. CNN Money released a reporting stating that sixty-six percent of millennials have nothing saved for retirement. As a millennial that only has a few thousand dollars saved for retirement, I can relate. I also recognize this is something I need to fix. If I don't start saving for retirement now, I am mapping out a financial path similar to the one I was on for the last ten years. I have opened an IRA, but if I'm honest, I'm still learning how to save properly for retirement. With guidance from my financially savvy dad and articles like this one, I think I am headed in the right direction.
We can't forget to grow our savings account. It is a rule of thumb that we should save at least twenty percent of our monthly income. With student loans, health care (my premium is almost $300 a month.), and unforeseen expenses that can be hard to do. Instead of waiting until the end of the month to save twenty percent, I break my earnings down for the week like I do my expenses for the month. I pay my bills, shop for groceries, and whatever is left over at the end of the week, I save. Sometimes it's only ten percent of my earning, but it's something.
Trim The Unnecessary Spending
When I started my new gig in LA, I was throwing away money on morning coffee, fifteen dollar lunch dates, and UBER since I am one of the only people in LA that doesn't drive. If I was going to stay the course and continue to work on my finances, I had to rein in the miscellaneous spending. I saw the most significant difference in my monthly expenses when I cut out UBER and started taking public transportation. Taking public transit in Los Angeles isn't ideal. It's slow and dirty, but the bus stop is right outside of my house. Each morning, I take a bus to a train and walk a mile to get to work.
A commute like that coupled with the homelessness I take in every day does wear on me (Los Angeles County has the second largest population of homeless people of any region in the United States), but it keeps me humble. Not to mention, I am saving nearly ninety dollars a week. I have cut out all of my excess spending, including online shopping, three dollar morning coffee, and fifteen dollar lunch dates, and have committed to meal prepping each Sunday. I am living a no-frills lifestyle, but I don't mind. I am learning to be financially disciplined.
I understand that sacrificing now will set me up to live a debt-free, financially healthy life later.
I don't have this financial game down just yet, but the key is starting somewhere. If that means cutting weekend brunches, saving fifty dollars more each month, or picking up a job to bring in extra cash, small changes can make an impact. In the last six months, I paid off one credit card, saved twenty percent of my earnings (My savings account has never looked so good!), and changed my relationship with money.
Take it a day at a time, and if you have an off month don't beat yourself up about it. We're human, and it takes time to create new habits.
- How to Get Out of Credit Card Debt - NerdWallet ›
- Credit Card Help: 8 things you must know about credit card debt ... ›
- How to Pay Off Your Oppressive Credit Card Debt - Credit.com ›
- Settling Credit Card Debt | Consumer Information ›
- Credit card debt can be bad for your health ›
- Credit card debt hits record high ›
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak
