Couch-Surfing And Soul Searching: How I Found Myself In The Summer Of 2024
I didn’t think I understood the saying, “Life comes at you quickly,” until I experienced the summer of 2024.
What I thought would be a normal hot girl summer with the friendships I’ve cultivated in Atlanta since moving here in 2019 to pursue my dreams of becoming a journalist turned into a very humbling situation – the luxury one-bedroom apartment I’d been living in since 2021 was no more.
Do you know that one story where God literally strips everything away from Job? That is what the start of my summer of ‘24 felt like. While everyone was enjoying Juneteenth celebrations, I had to rally the troops to pack up and move all the items in my apartment and accept my new normal, sleeping on my friend’s couch while I looked to figure things out and get back on my feet.
Firstly, I don’t know what I would do without the community I’ve built here in Atlanta. Secondly, I had to learn to humble myself and ask for help, a sentiment foreign to me as the first-born daughter and the one that folks usually rely on for help, advice, or simply a listening ear.
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Maybe I should back up and tell you how I got here.
In second grade, I discovered my love for writing, and my second-grade teacher, Mrs. Joyce Simmons, planted the seed that a career in the field could be in my future. I’ve always loved the way writing makes me feel. It’s something about putting my thoughts down on paper that really gets me going. By the time my senior year in high school rolled around, that love for writing had developed into a love for storytelling. Before I knew it, I was headed to Virginia Commonwealth University to pursue a degree in broadcast journalism.
Fast-forward to 2019, after losing my maternal grandmother in November 2018, I didn’t want to sit around any longer, waiting for life to happen. After a spiritual fast at the top of the year, I gained clarity and set my sights on moving to Atlanta to become the journalist I have always felt I was destined to be.
A few more leaps of faith and betting on myself later, I fully immersed myself in the world of freelancing. While life as a creative entrepreneur (something that I never anticipated) looked promising, things took a turn for the worse as events like the Hollywood Strike took place, budgets at outlets began diminishing, and the bills never ceased amid it all.
When I had to choose either to continue to struggle to try to make rent at my luxury apartment in Atlanta’s Vinings neighborhood or accept my friend’s offer to sleep on her couch until I figured things out, I had no choice but to choose the latter.
While it didn’t seem like it at first, this turned out to be a life-altering decision in the absolute best way, leading me to my very own Eat, Pray, Love summer visiting friends back home in Richmond, Virginia, the DMV, and rounding out the last few weeks of the season with my childhood best friend of 20+ years in Columbus, Ohio.
Here’s what it taught me about community, faith in God, and learning to let go of material things.
You Cannot Do It Alone.
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While social media often promotes isolation and “me against the world” think pieces, one of the biggest lessons this summer taught me is the importance of sisterhood. Without my girls, I would not have made it through this rough patch, period. Whether it was catching up over cocktails or poolside deep dives, my friends gave me all of the TLC that I never knew I needed over the course of the nearly 100 days that make up the summer season.
God Will Speak To You Through Others If You Take The Time To Listen.
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I turned in the keys to my apartment on Friday, June 21, 2024, the very first day of summer. Feeling overwhelmed, burnt out, and downright sad, I drove away and completely forgot my meal at Chick-fil-A as I headed to my new temporary home with my friend, Damoneke.
What’s more, I scheduled an interview for a story that day, which is absolutely insane in hindsight, but as a freelancer, there is no such thing as PTO, and I needed the money. Late to the call, due to leaving my food at the drive-thru window and Atlanta traffic, I rushed onto the Zoom call, and what transpired moved me in a way that I still can’t fully understand.
The conversation went like any other interview, but at the end, the talent, The Voice season 12 winner Chris Blue, asked me to stop the recording because he “wanted to share something that God had put on his heart to tell me.”
Keep in mind that this was an audio-only Zoom call, so he could not see my face. Blue told me that God sent him a vision while we were on the call, and it was one of me lying on a couch with boulders on my shoulders.
“God is telling you to let it go,” he said. I was frozen in my chair because how would Chris Blue, whom I’d never met or spoken to, know that I had just transitioned from my apartment to my friend’s couch?
After I burst into tears because I didn’t have 24 hours to allow what had just happened to sink in fully, he continued to pour into me before ending with, “God also told me to tell you not to be afraid to dream again.”
It was then that I decided to live my life unapologetically for the rest of the summer, going where the love was and garnering inspiration to make my love for writing fun again.
Material Things Are Cool, But Lived Experiences Are Even Better
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From whirlwind (and short-lived) summer romances, including riding on a stranger’s motorcycle in a foreign city (sorry, mom), to becoming the middle-school-aged version of myself again during the weeks spent in Ohio with my bestie Courtney, having a night out with my siblings, followed by matching tattoos with my sister, attending a cowboy-themed party with my mommy and more, I quickly learned that life is much more than material things.
At the start of this journey, I was so sad and distraught, and if I’m being honest, embarrassed that I no longer had my own space. Now that summer has come to a close, I’m dreaming again. My writing is healing me. I’m reconciling my relationship with my father, and I feel more grounded (and still free) than ever before despite still navigating this nomadic journey.
My biggest lesson this season is that life’s circumstances do not have to define me. Yes, the economy still feels horrific. Yes, I still have a few overdue bills, but overall, I am slowly but surely learning that sometimes freedom isn’t something that you find. Sometimes, you’re forced into it, and that’s okay.
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For Us, By Us: How HBCU Alumni Are Building Legacies Through Entrepreneurship
Homecoming season is here, and alumni are returning to the yard to celebrate with their friends and family at the historically Black colleges and universities (HBCUs) that have changed their lives forever.
No matter where their life journeys have taken them, for HBCU students from near and far, returning to where it all started can invoke feelings of nostalgia, appreciation for the past, and inspiration for the future.
The seeds for these entrepreneurs were planted during their time as students at schools like Spelman, North Carolina A&T, and more, which is why xoNecole caught up with Look Good Live Well’s Ariane Turner, HBCU Buzz’s Luke Lawal and Morehouse Senior Director of Marketing and Comms and Press Secretary Jasmine Gurley to highlight the role their HBCU roots play in their work as entrepreneurs, the legacy they aim to leave behind through the work that they do, and more as a part of Hyundai’s Best In Class initiative.
On Honoring HBCU Roots To Create Something That Is For Us, By Us
Ariane Turner
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When Ariane Turner launched Look Good, Live Well, she created it with Black and brown people in mind, especially those with sensitive skin more prone to dryness and skin conditions like acne and eczema.
The Florida A&M University graduate launched her business to create something that addressed topical skin care needs and was intentional about its approach without negative terminology.
Turner shared that it is important to steer clear of language often adopted by more prominent brands, such as “banishing breakouts” or “correcting the skin,” because, in reality, Turner says there is nothing wrong with the way that our skin and bodies react to various life changes.
“I think what I have taken with me regarding my HBCU experience and translated to my entrepreneurial experience is the importance of not just networking,” Turner, the founder and CEO of Look Good, Live Well, tellls xoNecole.
“We hear that in business all the time, your network is your net worth, but family, there’s a thing at FAMU that we call FAMU-lee instead of family, and it’s very much a thing. What that taught me is the importance of not just making relationships and not just making that connection, but truly working on deepening them, and so being intentional about connecting with people initially, but staying connected and building and deepening those relationships, and that has served me tremendously in business, whether it’s being able to reach back to other classmates who I went to school with, or just networking in general.”
She adds, “I don’t come from a business background. As soon as I finished school, I continued with my entrepreneurial journey, and so there’s a lot of that traditional business act and the networking, those soft skills that I just don’t have, but I will say that just understanding how to leverage and network community and to build intentional relationships is something that has taken me far and I definitely got those roots while attending FAMU.”
On Solving A Very Specific Need For The Community
Luke Lawal Jr.
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When Luke Lawal Jr. launched HBCU Buzz, his main focus was to represent his community, using the platform to lift as they climbed by creating an outlet dedicated to celebrating the achievements and positive news affecting the 107 historically HBCUs nationwide.
By spotlighting the wonderful things that come from the HBCU community and coupling it with what he learned during his time at Bowie State University, Lawal used that knowledge to propel himself as an entrepreneur while also providing his people with accurate representation across the internet.
“The specific problem in 2011 when I started HBCU Buzz was more so around the fact that mainstream media always depict HBCUs as negative,” Lawal says. “You would only see HBCUs in the mainstream media when someone died, or the university president or someone was stepping down. It was always bad news, but they never shed light on all the wonderful things from our community."
So, I started HBCU Buzz to ensure the world saw the good things that come from our space. And they knew that HBCUs grew some of the brightest people in the world, and just trying to figure out ways to make sure our platform was a pedestal for all the students that come through our institutions.”
“The biggest goal is to continue to solve problems, continue to create brands that solve the problems of our communities, and make sure that our products, our brands, our companies, and institutions are of value and they’re helping our community,” he continues. “That they’re solving problems that propel our space forward.”
On How Being An HBCU Alum Impacts The Way One Shows Up In The World
Jasmine Gurley
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Jasmine Gurley is a proud North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University alum. She is even more delighted with her current role, which enables her to give back to current HBCU students as the Senior Director of Brand Marketing and Communications and official press secretary at Morehouse College.
“It was a formative experience where I really was able to come into my own and say yes to all the opportunities that were presented to me, and because of that, it’s been able to open the doors later in life too,” says Gurley of her experience at North Carolina A&T. “One thing I love about many HBCUs is that we are required to learn way more about African American history than you do in your typical K through 12 or even at the higher ed level."
She adds, “It allowed us to have a better understanding of where we came from, and so for me, because I’m a storyteller, I’m a history person, I’m very sensitive to life in general, being able to listen to the stories and the trials that our ancestors overcame, put the battery pack in my back to say, ‘Oh nothing can stop me. Absolutely nothing can stop me. I know where I came from, so I can overcome something and try anything. And I have an obligation to be my ancestors’ wildest dreams. Simultaneously, I also have a responsibility to help others realize that greatness.
Gurley does not take her position at an HBCU, now as a leader, lightly.
“People think I’m joking when I say I’m living the dream, but I really am,” she notes. “So I wake up every day and know that the work that I do matters, no matter how hard it might be, how frustrating it may be, and challenging it. I know the ripple effect of my work, my team, and what this institution does also matter. The trajectory of Black male experiences, community, history, and then just American advancement just in general.”
On the other hand, through her business, Sankofa Public Relations, Gurley is also on a mission to uplift brands in their quest to help their respective communities. Since its inception in 2017, Sankofa PR has been on a mission to “reach back and reclaim local, national, and global communities by helping those actively working to move” various areas of the world, focusing on pushing things forward for the better.
“Through Sankofa, we’ve worked with all different types of organizational brands and individuals in several different industries, but I would think of them as mission-based,” says Gurley.
“So with that, it’s an opportunity to help people who are trying to do good in the world, and they are passionate about what they’re doing. They just need help with marketing issues, storytelling, and branding, and that’s when my expertise can come into play. Help them get to that moment where they can tell their story through me or another platform, and that’s been super fulfilling.”
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
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The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris