

Ah, the clitoris. The little part of our body that, to this day, medical professionals and researchers cannot find any purpose other than sexual satisfaction for. It plays no role in reproduction whatsoever and, even when you read about the horrific crimes committed against women as it relates to female circumcision (also known as FSM—Female Genital Mutilation), the overall objective is to remove all sexual pleasure from them (some very unwell people think that if a woman is without her clitoris, she won't cheat on her partner. Ugh).
So, if our clitoris—that pea-shaped organ that is located directly above our urethral opening—is only for the purpose of sexual pleasure, is it really that big of a deal? Heck yeah! Let me tell it, since the Creator saw fit to give us something solely for that purpose, it deserves to be researched, celebrated and pampered, just as much as possible.
That's why, in honor of something that makes us distinctively female and sexual, here are 10 things about your own clitoris that you may or may not know.
1. Your Grandma (or Her Friends) First Started Saying “Clit”
OK, maybe it's not literally your grandma who coined the "clit" word, but I will say this—don't sleep on what seniors talk about or what they'll tell you if you outright ask 'em. Especially when it comes to sex. Especially since 25 percent of them have sex once a week. Shoot, a friend of mine's mother, who is in her 90s, has told me many stories that have made me blush over the years.
Anyway, the reason why this is an interesting fact is, it wasn't until the 50s that folks even started referring to our cute lil' organ as a "clit" rather than a "clitoris". And yes, in my mind, it was women who were in their 20s who did which would be right around a lot of our grandparents age.
As far as where the word actually derives from, some think it's a Greek one that is "birthed" out of words like kleiein ("to sheathe") or or kleis ("key") or maybe even kleitoriazein ("to tickle"). Since my clit and I can personally relate to all of those words, I get why folks think so.
2. It’s a Little Penis. Kinda.
If you've ever heard someone say that, while in our mother's womb, we all started out with a penis, the more accurate statement would probably be that we all started out with a clitoris and a man's grew into a bigger one known as a penis.
The reason why I say that is because penises and clitorises have quite a bit in common. They are both vascular structures, they both come with foreskin (what we have is a clitoral hood. By the way, if you want to remove it, that's considered to be a type of plastic surgery), and they both get larger when we become sexually aroused and blood rushes down to that area. Yes, penises and their purpose basically fork off after that, but it is kind of a trip how much clitorises are similar, huh?
(Oh, if you want to know the technical terminology of what transpires in the womb, all fetuses start off with a genital tubercle that becomes a clitoris or penis between week four and nine of gestation; however, parents aren't typically able to see which it is on a sonogram until around week 20 or so.)
3. Most of Your Clitoris Is Inside of Your Body
The outer part of your clitoris is known as the "glans", but there is another part that is inside of your body that is so much more than what meets the eye. The larger portion is called the corpora cavernosa; it's what the glans is connected to and it's made up of spongy erectile tissue. Something else clitorises have are crura (we'll get more into that in just a sec) and clitoral vestibules. Clitoral vestibules are located underneath the crura; they are what become full of blood whenever our man is doin' it right— umm, I mean arousing us properly. #wink
4. It Contains Tiny Little Legs
I don't know if this is gonna creep you out or not, but apparently the internal part of our clitoris also comes with legs. Chile. This is where the crura (from the Latin word "cruris" which means "leg" or "pillar") comes in. Their legs are three inches long and they hang downward on our vaginal walls towards the canal to form a shape that is kind of like a wishbone. From what I've read, we've each got two of them.
5. It Has a “Sexual Stopping Point”
If there is ever a time during sexual activity when, your clitoris goes from feeling amazing to uncomfortable or even outright painful, that's nothing to be super alarmed about. Many medical sexual professionals describe clitorises as being "finicky" because while during one experience, a certain kind of stimulation may feel great, the next time "she" might prefer something different. Not only that, but once your clitoris is engorged, for your man to continue to stimulate her, it could feel pretty irritating; that's because she's already filled with so much blood. In this instance, the best thing to do would be to direct him to other erogenous zones, just so some of the pressure can be taken off of her.
6. Some Are as Large as a (Gherkin) Pickle
The average clitoris is one-half inch in length and one-half centimeter in width. But just like each vulva (the outer part of our vagina) is unique, so is each of our clitorises. On the size tip, I actually read that some can get as big as a Gherkin pickle. That's somewhere between 1-3 inches.
7. It Swells Up to 300 Percent When Aroused
When we're not sexually aroused or stimulated, our corpora cavernosa—you know, the erectile tissue that we already discussed—hangs out straight towards are thighs. But when our man touches the right spot, the corpora cavernosa curls up, almost as if it's giving our body a hug. Whenever this happens, our clitoris swells anywhere between 50-300 percent. That's why "she" sometimes feels bigger during or right after sexual activity.
8. It’s Got Double the Amount of Nerves As a Penis
Guess how many nerves are in a man's penis? Approximately 4,000 and yes, that's a lot. Now guess how many nerve sensory fibers are in a clitoris? A whopping 8,000! Plus, whenever we're having an orgasm, our clitoris alerts 15,000 other nerves in and around our pelvic region which is why our climaxes are oftentimes so intense. It's because of this that our clitoris wins the award for being the most sensitive part of our bodies. Nothing even comes close.
9. It Grows As You Age. At the Same Time, It Does Not Age.
We all know that, when we are intentional about self-care and pampering, for the most part, Black don't crack. Well, now you can tweak that saying with "Clits don't crack either" because they don't. It doesn't matter if we're 18 or 80, our clits still function the same way.
Now what may happen is, due to things like childbirth, less collagen production, a drop in estrogen (due to menopause), etc., your clitoris may get larger with time (around 2 ½ times its original size) but hey—I don't know one man who has ever had a problem with a clitoris pretty much doing whatever it wants to do. So, if yours does get larger at some point, that just brings a whole new meaning to "There's more to love." Lucky you. Lucky him too.
10. Your Clitoris Is Basically the Outside Part of Your G-Spot
You've probably heard that your G-spot is a little area that's 2-3 inches inside of your vagina, on the side facing your tummy. You'll know that you've reached it because its texture is a lot like a walnut. Well, another way to locate is to consider the fact that it's basically on the flip side of where your clitoris is. So, if you can't always reach your G-spot, no worries; your C-spot is always ready, willing and able to make it a great night for you. Check out "Blended Orgasms Need To Be The Next To-Do On Your Sexual Hit List", "What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?" and "Want A More Intense Orgasm? These Tips Are Sure To Make You Cream" to read more about why we say (and wholeheartedly believe) that.
BONUS: How to Handle an Irritated Clit
If for some reason, your clitoris is itching a lot, it could be because something is stuck in your clitoral hood. Dipping a Q-tip into some sweet almond, avocado or grapeseed oil and then gently wiping around the clitoral hood can help to dislodge any dried discharge, a loose hair or lint. But if the itching is incessant, that could be the sign of an infection (especially if it's associated with redness or swelling). If this happens, contact your doctor to see if you may have a yeast infection, bacterial vaginosis or something else.
Oh, and if you're considering getting your clitoris pierced, check out "The Complete (& NSFW) Guide To Getting A Genital Piercing", just so you can know what you are getting you—and her—into.
Now that you're well-versed about your clit, hopefully you've got a newfound love for her and all that she does to bring you joy and pleasure. Talk about good things coming in small packages. Good lookin' out, girl.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
15 Things I Bet You Didn't Know About Your Own Vagina
Keep Your Vagina Like A (Literal) Fountain Of Youth
These Common Habits Are Actually BAD For Your Vagina
This SHEeo Healed Her Vagina Holistically & Created A Brand To Help Women Do The Same
Feature image by Giphy
- What Is Anorgasmia? What Should You Do If You Have It ... ›
- Are You Washing Your Vagina Correctly? You Sure? - xoNecole ... ›
- How Do You Perform a Vaginal Self-Exam? - xoNecole: Women's ... ›
- 10 Things You Didn't Know About The Male And Female Orgasm ... ›
- "What's In There?" An Owner's Manual For Your Vagina - xoNecole ›
- Facts About Male Female Orgasm - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- 12 Crazy Amazing Facts About The Clitoris | HuffPost ›
- 15 Things You Never Knew About Your Clit ›
- 11 clitoris facts you'll think about the next time you have sex ... ›
- Clitoris Facts | POPSUGAR Fitness ›
- 10 Things You Never Knew About the Clitoris | Health.com ›
- Clitbait: 10 things you didn't know about the clitoris | Society | The ... ›
- 8 Fascinating Things You Didn't Know About the Clitoris | Teen Vogue ›
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney & Jill Marie Jones On 'Games Women Play' & Dating Over 40
What do you get when you mix unfiltered truths, high-stakes romance, and a few well-timed one-liners? You get Games Women Play—the sizzling new stage play by Je’Caryous Johnson that’s part relationship rollercoaster, part grown-woman group chat.
With a powerhouse cast that includes Claudia Jordan, Demetria McKinney, Jill Marie Jones, Carl Payne, Chico Bean, and Brian J. White, the play dives headfirst into the messy, hilarious, and heart-wrenching games people play for love, power, and peace of mind. And the women leading this story? They’re bringing their whole selves to the stage—and leaving nothing behind.
From Script to Spotlight
The road to Games Women Play started over 20 years ago—literally.
“This script was written 20 years ago,” Jill Marie Jones said with a smile. “It was originally called Men, Money & Gold Diggers, and I was in the film version. So when Je’Caryous called me to bring it to the stage, I was like, ‘Let’s go.’” Now reimagined for 2025, the play is updated with sharp dialogue and modern relationship dynamics that feel all too real.
Demetria McKinney, no stranger to Je’Caryous Johnson’s productions, jumped at the opportunity to join the cast once again. “This is my third time working with him,” she shared. “It was an opportunity to stretch. I’d never been directed by Carl Payne before, and the chance to work with talent I admire—Jill, Claudia, Chico—it was a no-brainer.”
Claudia Jordan joked that she originally saw the role as just another check. “I didn’t take it that seriously at first,” she admitted. “But this is my first full-on tour—and now I’ve got a whole new respect for how hard people work in theater. This ain’t easy.”
Modern Love, Stage Left
The play doesn’t hold back when it comes to the messier parts of love. One jaw-dropping moment comes when a live podcast proposal flips into a prenup bombshell—leaving the audience (and the characters) gasping.
Demetria broke it down with honesty. “People don’t ask the real questions when they date. Like, ‘Do you want kids? How do you feel about money?’ These convos aren’t happening, and then everyone’s confused. That moment in the play—it’s real. That happens all the time.”
Jill chimed in, noting how the play speaks to emotional disconnect. “We’re giving each other different tokens of love. Men might offer security and money. Women, we’re giving our hearts. But there’s a disconnect—and that’s where things fall apart.”
And then Claudia, of course, took it all the way there. “These men don’t even want to sign our prenups now!” she laughed. “They want to live the soft life, too. Wearing units, gloss, getting their brows done. We can’t have nothing! Y’all want to be like us? Then get a damn period and go through menopause.”
Dating Over 40: “You Better Come Correct”
When the conversation turned to real-life relationships, all three women lit up. Their experiences dating in their 40s and 50s have given them both clarity—and zero tolerance for games.
“I feel sexier than I’ve ever felt,” said Jill, who proudly turned 50 in January. “I say what I want. I mean what I say. I’m inside my woman, and I’m not apologizing for it.”
Demetria added that dating now comes with deeper self-awareness. “Anybody in my life is there because I want them there. I’ve worked hard to need nobody. But I’m open to love—as long as you keep doing what got me there in the first place.”
For Claudia, the bar is high—and the peace is priceless. “I’ve worked hard for my peace,” she said. “I’m not dating for food. I’m dating because I want to spend time with you. And honestly, if being with you isn’t better than being alone with my candles and fountains and cats? Then no thanks.”
Channeling Strength & Icon Status
Each actress brings something different to the play—but all of them deliver.
“I actually wish I could be messier on stage,” Claudia joked. “But I think about my grandmother—she was born in 1929, couldn’t even vote or buy a house without a man, and didn’t give a damn. She was fearless. That’s where my strength comes from.”
For Jill, the comparisons to her iconic Girlfriends character Toni Childs aren’t far off—but this role gave her a chance to dig deeper. “If you really understood Toni, you’d see how layered she was. And Paisley is the same—misunderstood, but strong. There’s more to her than people see at first glance.”
Demetria, who juggles singing and acting seamlessly, shared that live theater pushes her in a new way. “Every moment on stage counts. You can’t redo anything. It’s a different kind of love and discipline. You have to give the performance away—live, in the moment—and trust that it lands.”
Laughter, Lessons & Black Girl Gems
The show has plenty of laugh-out-loud moments—and the cast isn’t shy about who steals scenes.
“Chico Bean gets a lot of gasps and laughs,” Claudia said. “And Naomi Booker? Every scene she’s in—she’s hilarious.”
But the play isn’t just about humor. It leaves space for reflection—especially for Black women.
“I hope we get back to the foundation of love and communication,” said Demetria. “A lot of us are in protector mode. But that’s turned into survival mode. We’ve lost softness. We’ve lost connection.”
Claudia agreed. “We’re doing it all—but it’s not because we want to be strong all the time. It’s because we have to be. And I just want women to know: You can have peace, you can be soft. But stop bringing your old pain into new love. Don’t let past heartbreak build walls so high that the right person can’t climb over.”
Final Act: Pack the House
If there’s one thing this cast agrees on, it’s that this play isn’t just entertainment—it’s necessary.
“Atlanta is the Black entertainment hub,” Claudia said. “We need y’all to show up for this play. Support the arts. Support each other. Because when we pack the house, we make space for more stories like this.”
Games Women Play is more than a play—it’s a mirror. You’ll see yourself, your friends, your exes, and maybe even your next chapter. So get ready to laugh, reflect, and maybe even heal—because the games are on.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy
Patricia "Ms. Pat" Williams has always marched to the beat of her own brutally honest drum — and that’s exactly what makes her so magnetic to watch. Whether she’s making us laugh until we cry on The Ms. Pat Show or now laying down the law on her courtroom series Ms. Pat Settles It, the comedian-turned-judge proves time and again that there’s nobody quite like her. Unfiltered, hilarious, and real to the core, she’s made a name for herself by turning her life’s journey — including the pain — into purpose.
Now in her second season of Ms. Pat Settles It, airing on BET and BET+, she’s not only delivering verdicts — she’s dishing out life lessons in between the laughs. The show feels less like your typical courtroom drama and more like your outspoken auntie running a court session at the family cookout, complete with celebrity jurors, petty disputes, and a whole lot of real talk. xoNecole sat down with Ms. Pat to talk about her wildest cases, balancing motherhood and fame, and why sleeping in separate bedrooms might just be the key to joy.
CASE CLOSED, BUT MAKE IT CHAOS
If you’ve ever tuned in to Ms. Pat Settles It, you already know the episode titles alone deserve awards. But when we asked Ms. Pat which case stood out most, she didn’t even have to think twice. “There was this one woman — Shay — who got out of federal prison and was working for her old bunkmate. But the bunkmate didn’t want to pay her!” she says, chuckling. “That girl came in the courtroom like a firecracker.”
It’s moments like those that remind viewers Ms. Pat isn’t just bringing the laughs — she’s giving people a platform, even if it’s a little messy. And if her court ever gets turned into a real-life franchise, we need Shay on the promo posters immediately.
WHEN THE CELEBS SHOW OUT
It’s already hard enough to get a word in with Ms. Pat running the show, but throw in a celebrity jury featuring Tamar Braxton, Ray J, TS Madison, and Karlous Miller? Whew. “I don’t even try to control them,” she laughs. “Thank God we have something called editing.” According to her, behind the scenes, things get wild — but that chaos is part of the magic. “People only see the cut-down version. What you don’t see is all of us losing it in real time.”
Still, Ms. Pat makes it work. The courtroom becomes a stage, but also a safe space for guests and jurors to show up as their full, unfiltered selves. “It was a wild season,” she explains. Let’s be honest — if your jury looks like a BET Awards afterparty, you might as well let it rock.
IF FAMILY COURT WAS REALLY A THING
Ms. Pat might wear the robe on screen, but at home, she’s still managing her own wild bunch. When asked what kind of case her kids would bring into her courtroom, she burst into laughter. “Oh, they’d be suing my oldest son for eating their food,” she says. “You know how you have that one roommate that eats up everybody’s food? I can see my oldest son getting sued for that..”
And let’s face it, we’ve all either been that sibling or have one. Ms. Pat says moments like that — the everyday family squabbles and real-life irritations — are what make her courtroom show so relatable.
THE VERDICT SHE WISHES SHE COULD REWRITE
Ms. Pat is known for keeping it real, even when the conversation turns serious. When asked if there was one “verdict” in her real life she’d change, she pauses for a second before answering. “I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
“I wish I had graduated high school,” she admits. “All my kids went to prom and I took all of their high school diplomas.”
It’s a rite of passage in most Black households — your diploma doesn’t really belong to you, it lives at your mama or grandma’s house like a family heirloom.
HOW SHE STAYS GROUNDED
Between filming TV shows, headlining comedy tours, and running a household, Ms. Pat makes it very clear: she will find time to rest. “People swear I don’t sleep, but I do — I just knock out early and wake up early,” she shares. “And sometimes, I’ll just sit in my car.” She’s also a big fan of solo naps and mini getaways when things get overwhelming.
But one of her favorite forms of self-care? Separate bedrooms. “Me and my husband don’t sleep in the same room. That way, when I don’t feel like being bothered, I go to my space,” she laughs. She’s also found a new love for facials. “They’re addicting! I don’t need a lot — just sleep, a facial, and a little quiet.” Honestly? That’s a self-care routine we can get behind.
FROM PAIN TO PURPOSE
Ms. Pat’s story is one that’s deeply rooted in resilience — and she’s always been transparent about how her journey shaped her. Her advice to other Black women trying to turn their pain into purpose? Speak up. “You have to tell your story,” she says. “Because once you tell your story, you realize you’re not the only person that’s been through that situation.”
She adds that sharing your truth can be one of the most powerful things you do. “When you give a voice to pain so many other people who have that pain gravitate to you,” she says. “To heal, you have to speak out loud about it. What you keep inside is what eats you up.” Coming from someone who built an entire brand on truth-telling? We believe her.
WHAT’S NEXT FOR MS. PAT?
While Ms. Pat’s got her hands full with Ms. Pat Settles It and her comedy show, she hints there’s much more to come. “I got some stuff poppin’ that I can’t even talk about yet,” she teases. “But just know, like Kendrick [Lamar] said, we about to step out and show ‘em something.” That multi-genre deal with BET and Paramount is clearly working in her favor — and she’s not slowing down anytime soon.
She says one of her proudest moments in this chapter of her career is seeing things she once dreamed of finally come to life. “In this business, you never know what’s gonna work or what’s gonna stick. But now I’m working with a network that really understands me — and that’s special,” she says. “I feel seen. And I’m just getting started.”
Whether she’s in the courtroom cracking jokes or catching up on rest in her own sanctuary, Ms. Pat is living proof that success doesn’t have to come at the cost of authenticity. She’s rewriting the rules in real time — on her terms, in her voice, and for her people. As she continues to turn pain into purpose, laughter into legacy, and everyday mess into must-see TV, one thing’s clear: Ms. Pat is in her prime. And we’re lucky enough to watch it unfold.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Earl Gibson III/Shutterstock