After reading once that a whopping 80 percent of women are dissatisfied with their appearance, I knew that an article like this had to be written. Because if there’s one thing that I’ve seen women (especially on social media) seem to almost obsess over — it’s their ass. It’s not big enough, not firm enough, not like-someone-else’s enough. Goodness.
As far as my relationship with my own booty, although I’ve had moments when I wish that it was a lil’ plumper, once I made peace with its natural shape (yes, booties come in different shapes, y’all) and I became more intentional about giving it some TLC — chile, I’m happy and at peace with what God gave me. Now it’s my mission to get others to feel the same way…starting with asking each and every one of you if you actually have an official butt care regimen. And if not, why not?
If the reason is that you’ve never considered creating one before and/or you don’t know what that kind of self-care routine would even look like, here are 15 things that can help you to totally fall in love with that butt of yours.
1. Know Your Shape
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I’m just speaking for myself when I say that it really is kind of sad, the amount of stress, potential health risks, and expenses some people will go through to alter their body without taking the time to consider that there really is no perfect body or even body type. At the end of the day, it’s all subjective — including when it comes to our butts.
Although it’s not discussed nearly enough, believe it or not, booties come in four different types: square-shaped, heart-shaped, inverted/V-shaped, and round-shaped. So, if you’ve been damn near killing yourself to create a bubble butt, thinking that something is wrong with you for not having one, understanding that there are different kinds of butts, to begin with, is the first thing that you should probably marinate on.
2. Then Know Which Panties Best Complement It
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Once you’ve (hopefully) made peace with learning about your specific butt shape, the next thing you should do is take your created-that-way-and-that’s-totally okay derriere panty shopping to find ones that complement your particular shape best. From what I’ve read and researched, “squares” look best in boy shorts and bikini cuts, “hearts” need high-waisted bikinis, “inverted” also needs boy shorts and round butts look great in thongs.
3. Do Regular Dry Brushing
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Every part of our body could stand to be exfoliated; that’s because every part sheds tons of dead skin cells on a daily basis. When it comes to your butt, dry brushing is a great way to go. Although you might’ve heard that it can get rid of cellulite, there is actually quite a bit of debate around that. What is certain is it’s a practice that will remove dead skin cells, increase blood circulation, and also slightly “plump up” the areas where cellulite resides, which can make the cellulite appear less visible and make your butt appear a teeny-weeny bit fuller too.
4. Use a Benzoyl Peroxide Wash
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Typically, what causes pimples on the butt is inflamed hair follicles that can come from dead skin cells, sebum, or even yeast or some sort of fungus. If this is something that you struggle with, you might want to try washing that part of your body with a body wash that has benzoyl peroxide as a top ingredient in it. It’s effective when it comes to breakouts because it kills acne bacteria that lingers beneath your skin’s surface while clearing out dead skin cells, too. Stylecraze has a list of body washes with benzoyl peroxide in them that you may want to check out here. Just make sure to keep the body wash away from your vagina/vulva; that ingredient is too harsh for that particular area.
5. Try Some Centella Asiatica
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If you’ve never heard of Centella Asiatica before, don’t feel bad — a lot of people haven’t. Yeah, don’t get me started on how Westernized medicine continues to get the side-eye from me because it seems to want to make money more than fully educate people on their health and well-being options (le sigh). Anyway, Centella Asiatica is a plant that is big in Africa, Asia, and Ayurvedic as well as traditional Chinese medicine due to its ability to reduce inflammation, treat symptoms that are associated with eczema and psoriasis and profoundly moisturize skin. Since it contains properties that reduce oxidative stress, it’s also great for slowing down the signs of aging in your skin as well — and since butt skin ages just like the rest of your body does…it couldn’t hurt to add it to your health regimen.
If you’re wondering how best to consume it, for the record, it also goes by the names Gotu Kola and Tiger Grass. Look for these in tea form and drink it a couple of times a week for the best results (so long as you’re not pregnant or breastfeeding and you don’t have liver issues).
6. Get Some Coffee into It
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Although I’m not much of a coffee drinker, I do use coffee grinds on my skin from time to time. The properties in it are pretty effective when it comes to softening the appearance of cellulite, reducing inflammation, preventing breakouts, and giving skin a huge boost of antioxidants. I guess that’s why, when it comes to a moisturizer brand that is super popular and keeps butts super soft, Sol de Janeiro Brazilian Bum Bum Cream reigns supreme — because, for one thing, it contains caffeine. Now, I’ll be honest: it ain’t cheap, so if you want to try a more affordable DIY route, there’s a recipe for coffee-toning body butter here and coffee-based anti-cellulite lotion here.
7. And/Or Exfoliate with Low-Grade Glycolic Acid
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Although glycolic acid has been around for a while now, it’s getting quite a bit of attention these days as more and more folks are experimenting with at-home chemical peels. If you didn’t know, this is a type of acid that comes from sugar cane and falls into the alpha hydroxy acid (AHA) category. It’s great for skincare because it is an awesome exfoliant, it heals some of the damage that UV rays tend to cause, unclogs pores, stimulates the production of collagen, and helps to smooth out fine lines and wrinkles. My personal two favorite things about this particular acid are it helps to even my skin tone out at almost record speed, and it leaves my skin feeling really smooth, too.
So, if you’re looking for something that will “repair” your butt from the summer heat swimsuit weather while also making it extra pretty to look at and feel on, applying a low-grade glycolic acid once a month (or so) wouldn’t hurt things one bit.
8. Firm Up Sagging Skin with Tamanu Oil
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Remember how I said earlier that your butt’s skin ages like everywhere else? If you’re starting to notice some signs of that and you want to naturally firm things up a bit, try some tamanu oil. In the article, “We Lose Collagen As We Age. 10 Ways To Naturally Boost It.,” a big part of the reason why I gave it the shout-out that I did is because this type of oil has a solid reputation for helping your body produce collagen. And since collagen helps to bring elasticity to the skin, it’s definitely something that can be relied upon to firm some of the subtle signs of sagging right on up.
9. Take Some Vitamin D
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It’s no secret (to many of us) that when it comes to those who run the highest risk of having a vitamin D deficiency, it’s our (Black) people. That’s because the natural melanin that’s in our skin has a more challenging time synthesizing this nutrient from the sun. Since Vitamin D is a nutrient that strengthens our bones, reduces the risk of cancer, decreases inflammation, fights off free radicals, and helps to prevent/heal scarring alopecia, we’ve got to be proactive about getting more of it into our system. And that’s why it’s important to consume things like fortified orange juice, egg yolks, salmon, portabella mushrooms, and yogurt.
And why should your butt care about vitamin D? Since it also helps your body to better absorb calcium, which is essential for muscle contractions during workouts, and since those contractions are what help your butt to “grow” — if you are an exercise enthusiast, there’s no way around the fact that vitamin D is an absolute must-have and must take.
10. Consume (More) Protein
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Your butt is comprised of glute muscles, and muscles need protein in order to grow. That’s why it’s also a good idea to have a diet that consists of protein. Off top, meat is a great source. However, if you’re a vegetarian or vegan, there are other foods that can get you what you need in this department. You can find a few of them in our article, “Vegetarian Or Vegan? Check Out These High Protein Foods.” Oh, and if you’re someone who would prefer to intake protein as you exercise, many experts say that protein shakes work in your favor after working out, and protein bars are fine, so long as you don’t constantly rely on them as a daily meal replacement — oh, and that you keep in mind that many of them are somewhere between 200-350 calories per serving (read those labels, y’all).
11. Remember Your Squats and (Hip) Thrusts
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You already know that there is no way that we can discuss “butt care” without bringing up exercise. And although you are probably already well aware that squats are a great way to build up your glutes, there is something that must be taken into consideration before going completely ham on them. For starters, squats do a lot of things — they strengthen your core and bones, give the lower part of your body more power, increase mobility, burn calories, and, yes, they help to tone your muscles, including the ones in your butt.
However, if you’re looking for them to make your butt look huge, you’ve got to keep the type of butt that you have in mind and what kind of shape your body is in overall. Because what squats are gonna do, more than anything, is burn calories first and get your butt toned next. All this is to say that a “bubble butt” is not a guarantee for all. As far as hip thrusts go, they’re awesome because they are able to increase bone density, improve your balance, and strengthen the muscles that are in your hips, thighs, and glutes. For tips on how to do squats correctly, go here. For hip thrust tips, go here.
12. Work on an Exercise Ball (at Least Sometimes)
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Now ain’t this some ish? As if it wasn’t enough to know that “sitting is the new smoking,” once upon a time, Insider published an article with this headline: “Turns out that sitting at a desk all day can actually ruin your butt.”
Long story short, not only does sitting down nonstop, for hours on end, end up literally changing the shape of your butt, but it can also lead to back pain and muscle atrophy. So, what do they recommend that you do? Maintain good posture while you’re in your chair, and try squeezing your glutes for a few minutes every couple of hours.
That way, you won’t be “flattening” it as much.
13. Invest in a LED Light
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With more and more research coming out about the holistic benefits of LED light therapy, I thought it would be important to give it a shout-out here. If you didn’t know, the combination of red and blue lights can help to treat everything from eczema and wrinkles to hair loss and mild bouts of acne. That said, you might want to consider massaging your buttocks with an LED light device (like this one here) a couple of times a week because, although red LED will not remove cellulite, because it stimulates collagen production, it can help to soften the appearance of it over time. Another thing that could improve the appearance of your backside.
14. Sleep Naked with a Humidifier
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Back in 2019, Cosmo published an article entitled “How Following This Intense Sleep Routine Helped One Woman Build Her Butt.” Although it honestly didn’t get into how/why exercise influencer Johanna Devries felt that getting 10 hours of sleep every night (along with exercising) played a direct role in her booty gains, it caused me to look deeper into the correlation between sleep and having a nice-looking butt. From what I’ve read, sleep deprivation can result in the loss of muscle mass, and it can also make your muscles weaker over time. Meanwhile, good sleep has the ability to improve the quality of your workouts — so there goes three more reasons to treat it as a necessity, not a luxury.
And since sleeping with a humidifier can reduce snoring, soften your skin and improve your quality of rest, help your butt out by catching some zzz’s, naked, with your humidifier on. Hell, why not?
15. Love Your Butt. No Matter What.
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It was former President Theodore Roosevelt who once said that “Comparison is the thief of joy,” and if a lot of us were honest with ourselves, the (main) reason why we struggle with body image is because we’re looking at what other people have. Listen, a part of the reason why I’ve written articles for the platform like “These 10 Hacks Will Help You Love Your Body More” is because I’m a firm believer that there is nothing that can top an original — and since all of us are one of those…you know what that means…right? Who can top you?
Moral to the story: When it comes to cultivating a butt care regimen, it’s not about getting a booty that looks like someone else’s. Uh-uh. It’s all about taking good care of the ORIGINAL ONE that you have and then loving on it well. Sis, when it comes to the butt that the Creator gave you…please make sure that you do, starting with these tips and building from there!
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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And so, since this is the time of year when catching a cold (and/or the flu) is common, let’s talk about the impact that sleep (and again, a lack thereof) has on your immune system. That way, you can remain as healthy as possible during the fall and winter seasons.
1. Less Sleep Means More Colds
GiphyLike I stated in the intro, I’m pretty sure you’ve heard somewhere that the fall and winter are the seasons when people are most susceptible to catching a cold or coming down with the flu. And that’s exactly why I thought I would start this all off by sharing the fact that some studies reveal that if you get less than six hours of sleep, on a consistent basis, you end up making yourself more vulnerable to coming down with both. In fact, some research says that only 18 percent of people who get six-plus hours of rest caught a cold while almost 40 percent who got less than that did.
The logic behind it all is sleep gives your body time to build up the proteins and cells (like cytokines and T-cells) that you need to fight off certain viruses. So, if nothing bothers you more than having a stuffy nose or stubborn cough when it’s cold outside, getting more sleep is one way to prevent that from happening to you.
2. Less Sleep Means More Allergy Symptoms
GiphyAt the end of the day, an allergy is basically what transpires whenever your immune system “overreacts” to something that other people’s systems do not. And since sleep is what helps to keep your immune system nice and strong — well, I’m sure you get how less allergy-related symptoms and more sleep go hand in hand. Also, since sleep helps to decrease bodily inflammation (more on that in a bit) and inflammation can also intensify allergy symptoms, that’s just one more reason to get as much shut-eye as possible.
3. Less Sleep Means Potential Diabetes and Heart Disease
GiphyDid you know that in 2024, Black women were diagnosed with diabetes 24 percent more than any other adult demographic. Also, it continues to be a reality that heart disease is the leading cause of death for Black women. These two sobering statistics alone should be enough of an incentive to do whatever you can to keep the risk of diabetes and heart disease way down.
One way to do that is by getting more sleep. Aside from the fact that sleep strengthens your immune system to where it is easier for you to fight off illness and diseases, sleep can keep your blood sugar levels in a healthy space; plus, when it comes to your heart, it gives it, along with your arteries and blood vessels a break.
4. Less Sleep Means Less Time for Your Body to Push “Reset”
GiphyIf you really stopped to consider all that your body goes through during the day (you can read some about that here), you definitely would respect it enough to do your best to thank it by giving it no less than six hours of sleep, each and every night. Sleep is what helps to slow your brain and body down so they are able to “refuel” for the next day. After all, how can your body prevent you from getting sick if your immune system is too worn out to fight ailments off? Exactly.
5. More Sleep Helps You to Fight Off Infections
GiphySpeaking of, in order for your body to fight off infections, there are certain cells and antibodies within you that need to be healthy and strong — one way that they get and stay that way is by you getting a good amount of sleep. For instance, remember when I touched on cytokines earlier? Well, the same way that they help to prevent colds, they also help to prevent infections too. And since sleep lowers your cortisol (stress) levels, rest gives your body the time and space to build up an army that can fight off free radicals and other health-related challenges while you are awake.
6. More Sleep Lowers Bodily Inflammation
GiphyWhenever a health-related issue is mentioned on this platform, inflammation is something that is mentioned quite a bit. Probably the easiest way to explain inflammation is it’s how your body responds/reacts whenever something is happening to your body that shouldn’t be, whether it’s an illness, an injury, a germ or something that you may be allergic to.
If you happen to have chronic inflammation, some symptoms that are associated with that include fatigue, stiff joints, skin rashes, weight gain and moodiness.
The interesting thing about all of this is if you aren’t getting enough rest, you could be triggering inflammation in your body. That’s because studies reveal that a lack of sleep can elevate molecules that are associated with inflammation. So, if you don’t want inflammation to increase within your system, you should definitely catch more zzz’s.
7. More Sleep Regulates Hormones
GiphyWhen it comes to hormones like serotonin, estrogen and cortisol, believe it or not, they play a role in how your immune system acts and overreacts. That’s because, if your hormones are out of balance, that can cause your immune system to work harder than it actually should and that can make you more vulnerable to sickness. One way to keep your hormones leveled out? SLEEP.
That’s because sleep gives your body the opportunity to rest, repair and restore your hormone levels. On the other hand, when you are sleep deprived, that can put/keep your hormones on the ultimate roller coaster ride. #notgood
8. More Sleep Strengthens Vaccines
flu shot GIF - Find & Share on GIPHYGiphyIf you’re someone who is good for getting some sort of vaccine around this time of the year, make sure that you rest up before and after getting your shots. Not only does adequate rest before a vaccination help your immune system to be better receptive to your shots but sleep also helps your body to build up enough antibodies to make your vaccinations effective after getting them. Because if you’re gonna get pricked, shouldn’t it be worth it? My thoughts exactly.
Get some freakin’ sleep! Your immune system depends on it.
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