These Celeb Dads Are Reminders Of The Importance Of Black Fatherhood

In my book, I am the woman I am today because of the love poured into me by mother and my father. While Father's Day isn't the only time of year to celebrate the power and the presence of black fathers and father figures in our lives, it is a beautiful reminder to honor the men we hold near and dear to us. At xoNecole, we are all about giving credit where credit is due and in honor of today and every day, we wanted to showcase a roundup of black celebrity dads actively showcasing why representation of black fatherhood matters.
Both sons and daughters need their fathers, and these black celebrity dads serve as proof of that truth.
Usher and His Kids
Usher Raymond is a singer, actor, songwriter extraordanaire whose career spans across decades. Despite his distant relationship with his now-deceased father, Usher was intentional about playing an active role in the lives of his children. The R&B singer married his personal stylist of several years Tameka Foster-Raymond in 2007. After their union, he became a stepfather to her three sons from past relationships. Shortly thereafter, they had their child together, Usher "Cinco" Raymond V in November 2007. Regarding his decision to pass his multi-generational namesake down to his son, he explained:
"I never hated my father. I would have named my child Usher regardless. I never hated myself because I carried his name, because I made it mean what I wanted it to mean."
A little over a year later, he and Foster welcomed their second child together, another son named Nayvid Ely Raymond. Although he and Foster's marriage would eventually fizzle a short two years later, Usher was able to obtain primary custody of his sons.
In September 2020, Usher experienced fatherhood all over again with his newest addition, his daughter Sovereign Bo Raymond. She is the twice-divorced artist's first daughter and his first child with his new love, music exec Jenn Goicoechea. He shared the meaning behind her unique name in an interview with PEOPLE:
"Sovereign, man, is such a beautiful word and name to me, you know, a supreme ruler is obviously the defined name. She's definitely ruling the household, but Sovereign Bo — Bo is at the end of it, so [she's] my little 'reign-bo.'"
At 42, the "Bad Habits" singer recently revealed that he and his girlfriend are expecting their second child together and Usher's fourth overall.
Iman Shumpert and His Kids
Iman Shumpert's love for being a father probably rivals his love for the queen of his heart, his wife Teyana Taylor. The long-time couple welcomed their first child together famously in the bathroom of their home. Their eldest daughter, Iman Tayla Shumpert Jr. (nicknamed Junie), was born in December 2015.
In regards to getting some skin in the game about being a first-time father, in 2017, Iman tweeted, "This father stuff will turn you soft man, really soft." And nothing was the same. The girl-dad is now proud papa to not one but two daughters. After announcing that they were expecting their second child last June, Teyana gave birth via a home delivery in September 2020, Rue Rose Shumpert.
John Legend and His Kids
R&B crooner and The Voice judge John Legend is creating his own legacy as the proud father of two kids with wife and long-time love Chrissy Teigen. After being together for nearly a decade, the pair who met on the set of one of his music videos, had their first child, daughter Luna Simone Stephens in April 2016. The "All of Me" singer had this to say about holding Luna for the first time:
"It's beautiful, it's very emotional, and it brings you and your wife closer together. It's a very powerful feeling to see the product of your love right there in front of you."
As a couple, John and Chrissy have been super vocal about their pregnancy journey and even admitted to using IVF to conceive Luna, as well as their second child years later. Their son, Miles Theodore Stephens, was born in May 2018. John later touched on the transition of growing from a family of three to a family of four:
"It's a thing, you know. In some ways it's easier because we have perspective and we're not like, afraid. I wouldn't say we were afraid the first time, but we definitely didn't know what we were doing and leaned on our professional help a lot more. I think now we understand our style as parents and understand how to interact with each other and with the kids. The experience really helps you with the second kid."
In August 2020, the Stephens announced they were growing their family again with the reveal that Chrissy was pregnant with the couple's third child. However, a month later, the couple shared with the world that they suffered a miscarriage, a son whom they had been calling "Jack" since finding out about the pregnancy. Chrissy opened up about her experience in a personal essay.
Bow Wow and His Kids
For most of us, Bow Wow was an important fixture of our childhoods. The rapper and actor has been in the limelight since before he could drive. Bow Wow, who also goes by his real name Shad Moss, revealed back in 2011 that he had had a child with model Joie Chavis. He credits the birth of his daughter for saving his life. In a letter posted to his personal website, he also opened up about his battle with suicidal thoughts for years before the birth of his daughter, Shai Moss.
"For the past 3 years I [been] battling life. Even thought about taking my own. I felt like as a kid i did everything and saw everything too fast which spoiled my adult years. i felt as is I had no purpose to live (Thinking selfishly) until god gave me the illest gift of my life."
In 2018, he admitted in a conversation with The Grio that becoming a father himself helped him learn how to forgive his own father:
"I just wanted him to know I don't hate him. I outgrew that part. Once I had a kid and I've experienced some things with me and my daughter's mom and how we rock, I kinda understood why might have he ran out or why he wasn't around or why he left. There are reasons. My father was an alcoholic. Heavy. I didn't want to be around him when I was young and of course my career took me to other places."
In 2020, Bow Wow confirmed he became a father again, this time to a son with model Olivia Sky. Earlier this year, he finally told the world his son's name, Stone Moss.
Dwyane Wade and His Kids
Former NBA player Dwyane Wade is known for the accolades and legacy he created on the court over the span of his 16-year career. However, in his personal life, the icon has also made some incredible moves as well -- especially in regards to his family life. Although his first marriage to his high school girlfriend didn't work out, the pair's split resulted in him obtaining sole custody of the former couple's two kids, Zaya Wade (formerly Zion) and Zaire Blessing Dwyane Wade. He also raises his nephew.
Although he eventually became romantically involved with actress Gabrielle Union in 2008, the pair split in 2013. At some point during this break, Dwyane fathered a child with Aja Metoyer, a son named Xavier Zechariah Wade. Gabrielle and Dwyane later reconciled and would eventually marry in 2014. He later acknowledged having to admit that he had a child with someone else as one of the hardest things he ever had to tell Gabrielle.
"When you hold something in that you know is going to come out and you have this information and you know it's gonna f**k somebody's life up, that you care about, that you love, if it don't hurt you, then you're not human. Me and Gab just went through something that you never want to go through and we still came out of it."
In 2018, Dwyane welcomed his fourth child and his first child with Gabrielle, a daughter named Kaavia James Wade, via surrogate.
Though Zaya came out as transgender in 2020, Dwyane acknowledged in an interview with Michelle Obama that he and Gabrielle started having conversations about "possibilities" when she was three. Since being a support system for Zaya and her gender transition journey, Dwyane and Gabrielle have both become more impassioned about LGBTQ+ rights and activism. In a recent interview, he shared how raising Zaya has made him a better parent:
"I didn't know anything, really wasn't knowledgeable about the LGBTQ+ community. What it has done is it opened my eyes and my ears to something greater and bigger than I, and my daughter has allowed us gracefully to be her support system."
Bryson Tiller and His Kids
Throughout his career, Bryson Tiller has been able to maintain his self-imposed "shadowy" image as a public figure, preferring not to give video interviews to do just that. Despite not wanting to be too on the scene, the mega-successful trap-soul artist shares a lot about his daddy duties to his daughters on social media.
His oldest daughter, Harley Loraine, is from a previous relationship and was born in 2013. While his youngest daughter, Kelly Jade Tiller, was born in 2019 and his first child with current girlfriend, model Kendra Bailey.
Omarion and His Kids
Omarion is quite possibly the manifestation of unbothered energy, but his children know him affectionately as "Dad." The "Touch" singer, who recently made an appearance in the hit Fox reality TV competition The Masked Singer, has been pulling daddy duty as a father since 2014. And though his tumultous relationship with ex-girlfriend Apryl Jones has made headlines for a plethora of reasons, Omarion has always made it clear that he is all about the kids.
"When I became a father, I think that my understanding of what love was and my connection to that emotion shifted. I saw my children being born and recognizing what they call a miracle."
The former B2K lead singer's son Megaa Omari Grandberry was born in 2014 and his daughter A'mei Kazuko Grandberry was born in 2016.
Russell Wilson and His Kids
If there's one thing for certain and two things for sure, we love us some Ciara and Russell Wilson over here on xoNecole. Something about a man whose actions align with their words is awe-inspiring and aww-inducing. In regards to Russell, what won many of us over was how he regarded Ciara as a partner and her son from a previous relationship as the father he always deserved.
From the very beginning, the Seattle Seahawks quarterback embraced and continues to embrace Future Zahir as his own and it is truly blended family goals. The two made their family of three official in July 2016 when they married in England. And in April 2017, they welcomed their second child and Russell's first, a daughter named Sienna Princess Wilson. In a 2017 interview, he revealed:
"I think more than anything when you see family, have your own family and it continues to grow, you know it's a special thing. I don't just play for my family I've had before, but also my new family. Just playing for the little ones, playing for Ciara too and just playing for my teammates and trying to do everything I can to be the very best I can possibly be. I'm just truly grateful every day to get to come home and it puts a smile on my face every time."
On July 23, 2020, Russell and Ciara welcomed a son (and his mini-me), baby Win Wilson.
P. Diddy and His Kids
P. Diddy might be a bad boy for life, but the title has nothing on his status as a father of six. Also known as Sean Love Combs and Sean John Combs, Diddy is the man worth $740 million with a decades-spanning career that speaks for itself. He is also just as passionate about family life. He had his first child in 1993, a son, Justin Combs, with designer Misa Hylton-Brim.
During his relationship with the late Kim Porter, he adopted Kim's son, Quincy, from a previous relationship with singer Al B. Sure! Together, the on-and-off couple of 13 years had a son, Christian Combs in 1998, as well as twin girls, D'Lila Star Combs and Jessie James Combs in 2006. Months before the twins were born, Diddy welcomed another daughter with a different partner, Sarah Chapman, named Chance Combs. Kim passed away suddenly after complications with pneumonia in 2018.
The multi-hyphenate touched on her passing and his shift in fatherhood in a 2020 conversation with Naomi Campbell:
"Losing Kim [Porter] and now being a single father-of-six, my thinking had to change. I had to really get focused on their futures, 'cause I know how rough it is out there."
Steph Curry and His Kids
Look up the phrase "family man" in the dictionary and we're sure you'll see Stephen "Steph" Curry pop up with his characteristic pretty blues. The legendary athlete has always upheld his Christian faith and family as his foundations. He married his long-time love Ayesha Curry in 2011. On July 19, 2012, they welcomed their oldest daughter Riley Elizabeth Curry. On becoming a parent, Steph had this to say:
"You learn something from them every single day. They give you a reason to wake up in the morning, regardless of whether work is going well or not. Your biggest responsibility, obviously, is being a parent, and it's just so much fun every single day when they change so fast and you're trying to keep up. You get to share so many experiences with them and I'm enjoying every minute of it."
Three years later, they had their second child, another daughter, Ryan Carson Curry. Most recently, they had their third child together, a son named Canon W. Jack Curry on July 4, 2018. In regards to raising a son, he shared:
"Earlier this summer, a few weeks after the season ended, Ayesha and I were blessed with the birth of our third child, Canon ― our first son. And one of the things that has been most on my mind, since then, is the idea of what it means now to raise a boy in this world. I already know, just based on his gender alone, that Canon will probably have advantages in life that his sisters can only dream of. How do you make honest sense of that as a parent? What are the values, in this moment, to instill in a son? It's a lot to think about.
"But in the end ... I think the answer is pretty simple. I think you tell him the same thing that we told those girls last week at our camp: Be yourself. Be good, and try to be great ― but always be yourself. I think you teach him to always stay listening to women, to always stay believing in women, and — when it comes to anyone's expectations for women ― to always stay challenging the idea of what's right. And I think you let him know that, for his generation, to be a true supporter of women's equality ― it's not enough anymore to be learning about it. You have to be doing it."
Featured image by Kevin Mazur/Getty Images for The Recording Academy
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Your October 2025 Monthly Horoscopes Are All About Magnetic Love & Divine Timing
October is about the power of attraction. This is the month to set your intentions, create space for a new beginning, and find your balance between the past, present, and future. There aren’t many astrological transits this month, signaling more possibilities in the air and an opportunity to create that which you desire.
We begin the month in Libra Season, and Libra Season is always the time of year when love is the highlight. With Juno also entering Sagittarius on October 1, right as we begin the month, it’s about committing yourself to a new adventure, to the gifts of love, and to perspectives that heal and bring you closer to another.
October 2025 Astrology: An Overview
Mercury enters Scorpio on October 6, and Mercury in Scorpio only knows depth. The conversations being had this month are inspiring, transformative, and a little more blunt than usual. This energy is good for the power of persuasion and for asking for what you want, especially within business and financial matters. On the same day, we have a Supermoon in Aries, and this is a powerful Full Moon for reflection, owning your power, and letting go of the insecurities that don’t resonate with what you want for yourself and your future.
Venus, the planet of love, moves into Libra on October 13 after being in Virgo for the past month, and after some time of healing and clarity in love, Libra is here to bring in the romance. Venus loves being in Libra, and this energy creates new beginnings within relationships and provides a little extra magic in this area of life. With Pluto going direct in Aquarius on the same day after being retrograde since May, life and love move forward mid-October, helping provide more stable and nurturing foundations in your personal life and community as well.
The New Moon of the month occurs in Libra on October 21, making it a beautiful time for manifesting romance, balance, and harmony in your world.
This New Moon aligns with the Sun in Libra, and it’s all about letting a new beginning transform your world and the love in your life for the better. Scorpio Season officially begins on October 22, and Neptune retrograde enters Pisces on the same day, bringing in some water sign energy into the mix. As we close out the month, it’s time to renew, honor the transformations occurring, and know that your dreams aren’t as far out of reach as they may seem at times.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what October 2025 has in store for you.
What October 2025 Has In Store For Your Zodiac Sign
ARIES
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is all about perspective, Aries. This is the month to trust the divine timing of your life, and not let the what-ifs overwhelm you. With the Sun in Libra, your sister sign, for most of the month, October is about building connections, finding your balance in love, and knowing that you are worthy of what your heart is seeking right now. We have a Supermoon in your sign on October 6, and emotions are a little heavier this month, but also healing. Give yourself grace, and let go of what isn’t working for you.
Venus is in your house of love from October 13 until November 6, and there is a lot to look forward to when it comes to romance and the relationship dynamics in your life as you move through the month. It’s about being confident in your power of attraction and letting love come to you right now. Before October comes to an end, we have a New Moon in your 7th house of love as well, and with all this energy in your relationship zone, life changes for you in love for the better in October.
TAURUS
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a spiritual month for you, Taurus. You are thinking a lot about your next steps ahead, and are getting organized, focused, and aligned. The Supermoon on October 6 is a time of reflection for you, and you are entering the month ready to let go of the past, heal, and create space for something new in your life. This month is all about trusting your intuition and letting your wisdom guide you in your personal growth and evolution.
You are more than where you have been, and this month is a reminder of that.
With Mars in Scorpio and in your 7th house of love all month, you are motivated by the partnerships in your life right now. Your love life and relationships are where the action is for you this month, and you are honoring your passion and direction here. Venus, your planetary ruler, moves into your house of health mid-month and into November, and you are leaving October seeking healthier habits, daily routines, and relationships. Overall, this month is helping you align with your vision.
GEMINI
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is a fresh start for you, Gemini. Your heart is free, love is beaming, and you are feeling larger than life. This month is about taking a leap of faith in yourself, honoring your confidence in life, and being your biggest advocate. With the Sun in your 5th house of self-expression, romance, and happiness, and with Venus entering this same area of your chart mid-October, there is a lot to look forward to right now, and things are looking up for you.
On October 21, we have a New Moon in a fellow air sign, and this is a good time to set your intentions for creative projects, hobbies, romance, and your overall happiness in life. There are a lot of little moments of magic unfolding for you this month, and this New Moon is one of them. Before October comes to an end, Mercury, your ruling planet, enters Sagittarius, and this brings open communication into your relationships, and you are having lively conversations and insights.
CANCER
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis is a transformative month for you, Cancer. You are moving through closure, healing, and depth as you navigate the opportunities that are coming into your life, with the stability you are seeking. With the Sun in your 4th house of home and family in October, this is the month to spend more time in your safe spaces, connect with your loved ones, and get grounded. You are also more focused on your financial world right now, and this is a good time for building new foundations for yourself and looking at the bigger picture when it comes to your career and life goals.
Mars is in your house of romance and happiness for the entire month, and this is one of the highlights of your life right now. You are passionate about your joy and all the things that light you up inside, and you are protecting your peace and giving more of your energy to your pleasure. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Libra, highlighting your home life, and some Cancers may be moving at the end of the month or getting the opportunity to turn a page here. Overall, this is your month to reflect, go within, and make sense of what has been restricting you from feeling stable.
LEO
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about taking things one day at a time and being patient with what is presenting itself to you, Leo. This month, you are getting your ducks in a row and gaining the clarity needed to create a new beginning in your life. The month begins with a Supermoon in a fellow fire sign on October 6, aligning in harmony with you and fueling your need for adventure. You are going over the wisdom you have gained as of late and how it has shifted the way you navigate your life and see the world around you.
On October 13, Pluto goes direct in your 7th house of love, after being retrograde here since May. This is bringing in more balance, empowerment, and passion into your love life, and this is a positive change of energy for you after a time of some power struggles within your relationships. Before the month comes to an end, we have a New Moon in Libra, and this New Moon is the best time to set intentions for clarity, communication, and connection. October is about taking your time with things and knowing that everything is working out in your favor at the end of the day.
VIRGO
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis October is about finding your balance, Virgo. There is a lot of energy when it comes to your finances this month, but you may be overworking or overcommitting yourself in the process. Honor the opportunities and responsibilities in your life, but make sure you are equally taking care of your health and prioritizing your time and energy so that you don’t burn out. Venus, the planet of love, is in your sign until October 13; use this energy to your benefit and let things come to you.
You are a magnet for abundance, romance, and support if you allow yourself to receive it.
On October 13, Venus moves into your 2nd house of income, and your relationships are a supportive place for you to lean on right now. Your love life and partnerships are where your financial world is evolving this month, and this is a good time to ask for what you want; you never know what may happen. At the end of the month, Neptune goes retrograde in your sister sign, Pisces, and you are taking a step back and reassessing what love means for you right now. Overall, October is about remembering that you don’t have to do it all alone, Virgo.
LIBRA
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLibra Season is here, and it’s your time to shine and thrive! This Libra Season changes everything for you, and October is when you really begin to feel this shift in your life. The Sun is in your sign until October 22, and it’s time to put yourself first. With a Supermoon in Aries as we begin the month as well, you are letting go of any unhealthy attachments or relationship dynamics that take you away from yourself, and are moving into deeper clarity.
On October 13, Venus, your planetary ruler, enters your sign, where it loves to be the most. With Venus in your sign for the rest of the month, love takes on a new tone, and you are feeling more love for yourself and where life is taking you right now. To end the month, we have a New Moon in Libra, and it’s time to set your intentions for where you want life to grow for you over the next year. This is a month of embarking on a new journey of self, and allowing what is inspiring you right now to build your confidence in yourself and your relationships.
SCORPIO
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about honoring your freedom and your power to decide, Scorpio. A lot is going on for you this month, and you have the passion and energy to see things through. Mercury, the planet of communication, moves into your sign at the beginning of the month on October 6, and this is going to help you get your ideas across, making it a good month for business matters, networking, and getting inspired. With Mars also in your sign for the entire month, life moves forward for you in transformative ways in October, and you are a force to be reckoned with.
On October 13, Venus moves into your house of closure, healing, and endings, and you are ready to close one chapter of love and create space for a new one. You are in a contemplative space when it comes to matters of the heart, and you are ready to let go of any heaviness you have been feeling here. Scorpio Season officially begins on October 22, and you are ready to begin again. This Scorpio Season is about owning your confidence in life while letting go of insecurities or self-doubts that have been getting in the way of that.
SAGITTARIUS
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleEverything unfolds for you in a beautiful way this month, Sagittarius. You are flowing well with the energy of October, and life opens up to you. With the Sun in your 11th house of aspirations, dreams, manifestations, and community, you are feeling in balance with your desires and your reality, and are bridging the gap here. This is a month of friendship, believing in your dreams, and creating space for love. With Juno also entering your sign at the beginning of the month until the end of the year, you are attracting soulmates into your life.
On October 6, we have a Supermoon in a fellow fire sign, allowing you some closure in love and a chance at healing. Your heart is feeling renewed, and you are owning your power in creating happiness in your life. Before the month ends, Mercury moves into Sagittarius, where it will be until mid-November, and inspiration is heightened. Pay attention to the guidance you are receiving this month, the conversations you are having, and the light bulb moments that are going off for you right now.
CAPRICORN
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is about going within and connecting with the guidance of your soul, Capricorn. You are taking more time for yourself this month, and rightly so, as you need time to fully process what has happened so far this year. Pluto goes direct in your 2nd house of income, and this moves things forward when it comes to your earning potential, abundance, and values.
The key this month is in valuing yourself, your perspective, and what you are building in your life right now.
On October 21, we have a New Moon happening in your career zone, and this is a good time to manifest your goals within your professional world. Put yourself out there, show up, and know that you are worthy of success and that your dreams aren’t too big for you. As we close out the month, Mercury moves into your house of closure, even further facilitating your desire for contemplation and alone time this month. Overall, October is about taking care of your mental health, owning your successes, and finding your peace.
AQUARIUS
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleOctober is a new beginning for you in love and in life, Aquarius. Your heart is feeling inspired, and there is a lot to look forward to right now. The Supermoon at the beginning of the month will be occurring in your 3rd house of communication, giving you the answers you have been looking for and helping you close the door on a chapter in your life that left you feeling misunderstood or misdirected. You are ready for a change of pace this month, and you are receiving that as we begin October.
Mid-October, Pluto goes direct in your sign after being retrograde since May, and this is a huge breath of fresh air for you and your path ahead. You may have been a little harder on yourself while Pluto was retrograde this year, and now you feel ready to forgive, move on, and own your power. Before the month comes to an end, we have a New Moon in Libra, and you are embarking on a new adventure. The end of the month is a good time for traveling, exploring, and gaining a new perspective.
PISCES
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecoleThis month is giving you the guidance, perspective, and passion to see yourself with clear, loving eyes, Pisces. There is a sense of feeling more overwhelmed with life lately, and October is allowing you to gain the insight needed to move on from this energy, or at least see more of the gifts of what has occurred. On October 6, we have a Supermoon in an area of your chart having to do with self-worth, values, and income, and it’s time to see the gifts of what you have been investing in and valuing in your life, including yourself.
Let go of the need to play it small or count yourself out of important conversations, and know that you deserve a seat at the table.
With Pluto going direct in your 12th house of healing as we end the month, you are finally getting the answers you have been looking for emotionally, and it’s changing your perspective on your commitments in life and making you feel empowered. Before the month ends, Neptune goes retrograde in Pisces, and you are going to be moving through a personal revolution as we close out the year. You are inspired by change right now, and this month is what kicks starts this metamorphosis within you.
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Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Orgasms Last Half Of A Commercial Long. Here's How To Make Yours Last Longer.
If you read the title of this and felt like it might be some low-key clickbait, that is absolutely not the case. The reality is, according to quite a bit of extensive research, although orgasms can last anywhere from 10-60 seconds, if we were to break things down by gender, in general, men’s orgasms usually last somewhere around 22 seconds while women’s orgasms last somewhere around 13-15 seconds (for many). And since the average commercial is 30 seconds long — well, there ya go.
This is of the utmost importance to me because, at least in my humble opinion, one of the best experiences that life has to offer is a good ole’ orgasm. That is why I thought that this would be as good of a time as any to provide a few tips that can help you to get the most out of your own “climbing the wall” moments.
And so, are you ready to see if you can get at least 10-15 more seconds out of the climaxes you have? I just might have some things to hook you all the way up below.
So, the Technical Term for It Is an “Extended Orgasm”
GiphyAight, so let’s get right into it. When you want to achieve the kind of orgasm that lasts longer than the — or probably the more accurate way to put it, your — average one does, that is called an extended orgasm. It’s important to not confuse this with multiple orgasms which are what happens when you climax and then come to the fourth stage of an orgasm (which is called a resolution) only to pick back up and start the cycle of orgasming all over again.
Nah, an extended orgasm is one long(er) climax that never comes to a resolution; it just holds at the climax position for a longer period of time.
And what would be the purpose of wanting to have one of those? C’mon now. If you’ve had an orgasm before, you absolutely know the answer to that; especially if you’re someone who tends to have orgasms that only last for a few seconds, max.
Okay, but really — what can you actually do to “see the mountaintop” for more than just a fleeting moment in time…every time? Well, I have 10 tips that would be hella fun (at the very least) to give a shot.
Tips To Make Your Orgasms Last Longer
1. Figure Out What Your Clitoris Likes (and Needs)
GiphySince once upon a time, I used to watch porn and then I transitioned into working with an organization that dealt with sex and porn addiction (check out “Working For A Porn Ministry Got Me Over Watching Porn”), I can tell when people have learned a lot of their sex moves via some consistent porn engagement. Like back in the day when I was gettin’ it in — I used to damn near loathe whenever a guy would try to pat on my vagina. That is such a porn move.
For me, I prefer a… gentler and more creative approach. And that’s exactly my point: since a clitoris literally only exists to bring women sexual pleasure — figure out what touches work for you, both in foreplay and during sex. After reading Healthline’s “The Ultimate Guide to Clitoral Stimulation,” I came to appreciate just how many ways there actually are. Check the article out then experiment with which ones are bomb for you.
2. Make Sure Your Partner Can Access Your Clitoris As Much As Possible
GiphySpeaking of your clitoris, if you were to go to Google to check out the AI overview of it, as it relates to having an orgasm, you are probably going to see something along the lines of, “The clitoris is the primary source of arousal and orgasm for most women, with direct stimulation of the clitoris being the easiest and most effective way to achieve orgasm, according to a large sample of women.” (At least, this is what came up for me.)
What this does as serve as a solid reminder that, whether it’s during foreplay or intercourse, it’s important to remain in a position where your partner can easily access (in order to stimulate) your clitoris as much as possible. That way, he can “manipulate” (via stimulation) your clitoris with certain amounts of applied pressure, so that having an extended orgasm is easier for you.
Certain positions that can help with this include spooning, being penetrated while you are on the edge of the bed and having sex while you’re acting like a wheel barrel. Artistic visuals of all of this can be found here.
3. Incorporate Scents That Reduce Stress
GiphyIt’s going to be difficult to have an orgasm if you’re all stressed out. That’s because, although sex is proven to reduce stress and anxiety levels, when it comes to climaxing, if your stress hormone (which is known as your cortisol hormone) is elevated, that can lower your libido and also your sex hormones; you don’t want that to happen because they are essential for you to have an orgasm in the first place. That’s why it’s critical that you lower the stress that you may be experiencing via all of your senses (sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell).
One way to do that is by incorporating scents that help to keep your stress levels down. Whether it’s essential oil in a diffuser, lighting some soy candles or spraying one of the following scents on your bedding (or all three) — try some jasmine, mandarin, rose, patchouli, lavender, neroli or frankincense. All are alluring. All are proven to relax your mind, body and spirit too.
4. Sip on Some Infused Berry Water
GiphyIf you’re dehydrated, it’s going to be hard to cum. That’s not my opinion, that’s a scientific fact. The breakdown is water helps to keep you (naturally) lubricated, it balances your hormones out and it also provides you with an energy boost. And while you’re at it, throw some berries into your pitcher or glass.
Since they are packed with antioxidants and anti-inflammatory properties, they are able to keep your blood flowing freely — which is definitely something that needs to happen if you want to have a long and satisfying orgasm (by the way, citrus fruits and pomegranates can do this for you too).
5. Try a Lil’ Yoga with Your Sex
GiphyBeing in a relaxed state and breathing properly are two things that definitely need to happen if you want to have a really good orgasm. That’s why yoga just had to come up — because it’s a form of exercise that incorporates both of these things. In fact, there are specific yoga poses that have a reputation for making copulation amazing including the Lizard, the Cat Cow and — surprise, surprise — the Downward Dog.
What’s cool about all of these is you can do them in your bedroom or incorporate them into intercourse (to learn more about yoga sex and, what is somewhat similar, tantric sex, go here, here and here).
6. If It’s via Oral Sex, Have Your Partner “Edge” You (with His Tongue)
GiphyIf it’s easier for you to climax from cunnilingus than intercourse, please don’t stress yourself out about that — at the end of the day, an orgasm is an orgasm…right? And while he’s doing his thing down there, be open to him edging you with his tongue and lips. Although people often think about edging in the context of people getting to the point of climaxing during intercourse and then delaying it over and over again (in order for the orgasm to ultimately be that much stronger), the reality is that edging is about sexual stimulation, period, no matter how it — pardon the pun — comes.
So, while he’s using his mouth to “take you there,” use your words (dirty words, preferably) to let him know when you’re about to climax — and then have him slow down the pace (with his tongue and lips), so that your orgasms can be…further extended.
7. Apply Some Arousal Gel
GiphyQuestion: Have you ever tried arousal gel before? If not, please make the investment. Although there is nothing that can automatically guarantee that you’ll experience the type of orgasm that you’re looking for, arousal gel can certainly help with accomplishing the mission. That’s because it contains ingredients that help to stimulate blood flow to your genitalia — and that always increases the chances of you experiencing some pretty intense climaxing.
So, if you want to give this gel a shot, click here for a list of some favorite brands.
8. Have Your Partner Focus on Another Erogenous Zone As You’re Climaxing
GiphyLet me tell you a woman who I personally think STILL doesn’t get the props that she deserves for her singing chops: some freakin’ Tamia. And y’all, when that woman sang “Stranger in My House” on Apollo? Whew. Yeah, the real ones know how the bridge goes — Pop quiz: Tell me where we first kissed. Tell me where my spot is. Tell me if I liked it, loved it. LISTEN.
You wanna have a hellified orgasm, you (and your partner) better know where your spots are. And when you are at the point of cumming, have him, umm, indulge in one of those spots along with penetrating you. I’d be damn near shocked if your head didn’t almost explode if/when he does.
9. Do Some Tongue Sucking (Again, As You Are Climaxing)
GiphySpeaking of multitasking, a few years back, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “Wanna Climax More? KISS MORE.” Aside from the fact that some people are able to orgasm just from kissing alone, it can definitely take you to next levels of arousal during sex. That’s because kissing releases hormones like oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin that not only make you feel closer to your partner but it can help to sexually stimulate you too.
And if the two of you engage in tongue sucking while you’re kissing? GIRRRRRL…tongues have a ton of nerve endings which makes them super sensitive to touch or lick — let alone…suck. Try it and tell me that I’m wrong (you won’t).
10. Squeeze Your Thighs Together
GiphyPlease don’t tell me that I’m the only one who is literally shaking your damn head about the movie Waiting to Exhale being 30 years old this year (the book is even better, by the way). Geeze. And as I wrap this “You totally deserve to have an extended orgasm” cheat sheet up, I thought about the scene where Robin (Lela Rochon) and Michael (Wendell Pierce) were having sex and she said that when she squeezed her hips/thighs real tight, she exploded.
And this is my final tip when it comes to how to make your orgasms last longer. The technical term for it is syntribation (which basically means “hands-free masturbation”). Pretty much what happens is, when you squeeze your thighs together, it stimulates your clitoris — and when you’re doing this while a penis is already inside of you? NEED. I. SAY. MORE?
___
Life is short. Have longer orgasms.
Hell, somebody needs to put that on a T-shirt — no, billboards all throughout the country! LOL.
With these tips, I’m thinking that you now can, so try them out and report back.
I can’t wait!
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Featured image by Giphy









