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Taye Diggs & Apryl Jones On How They Met, Taking Things Slow & Navigating Conflict
Ever seen a couple that doesn't make sense on paper but the moment you see them together, you understand why they work? That's Taye Diggs and Apryl Jones for me. Despite being from two different walks of life, the love birds radiate "for life" energy and I completely believe them when they say that they are in this for the long haul. And not just because the chemistry and endless laughter the two seem to share act as an indication.
The pair made a soft launch as "just friends" virtually out of nowhere, appearing in one another's hilarious TikToks in 2021. And despite making several appearances together in public outings and on the red carpet, they seemed to duck and dodge, "are they or aren't they" questions for a while. Last year though, Taye seemingly confirmed his not-so-secret romance with Apryl and loved her out loud in a vulnerable Instagram post.
Taye Diggs and Apryl Jones Open Up About Their Relationship
Taye and Apryl are taking being public about their relationship a step further in a recent appearance in the podcast, Unconsciously Coupled with Erinn and Oliver Hudson. In the episode, the couple spilled the tea on their love, how they met, and navigating conflict, and everything in between.
Taye Diggs & Apryl Jones on How They Met
In a meet-cute that is pretty common in the digital age, Taye explained to listeners that he and Apryl met on Instagram. "Not on purpose," he clarified before explaining that his single days post-divorce involved him scrolling on the app and looking at women in a way that he describes was like "porn a little bit. But just for the eyes." On one particular day, he came across a IG Reel and described Apryl as this "beautiful girl" that popped up on his Explore page lip-synching to an audio as a mother making fun of being a mother.
From there, he sent a message of, "You're hilarious." And thought that would be the end of it because, in his words, he felt that she and any of the girls he came across during his single days on IG were "out of his league." But not for the reasons you think.
Taye explained that he thought that he was "not what 'those types of girls' were looking for. That was my thing. I'm cool, but if I stay in my lane." He added that he imagined Apryl going for "rappers, ball players, other influencers." He joked that his musical theater background wasn't something he thought she'd be checking for.
And Apryl lowkey confirmed that later by mentioning that Taye was not the type of guy that she or people in her circle would bring up if they are talking about dating pursuits. But luckily the actor took a chance by sliding in her DMs with a genuine remark that had nothing to do with her beauty because it was enough to capture Apryl's eye and a couple of days later prompt a response. Apryl gave him her number and the rest was history.
On Their First Date & Taking It Slow
After exchanging numbers, Taye and Apryl took things relatively slow. Thanks to Apryl being away due to filming in Atlanta, they were able to get to know each other offline and long-distance for a month and a half. Taye said that it gave him space which he needed because he was very nervous in his pursuit of her. They described the getting-to-know-each-other phase of theirs before meeting as a fun time where they texted, called, and sent videos back and forth to one another.
When they were finally ready to meet in person, Apryl made it known that Taye stood her up twice for plans on the same day. Taye's son Walker would be the reason for standing her up both times, which Apryl understood because she also has kids. Taye said it was a "test" and that he was impressed that she was "super cool about it" both times. "I was like, 'It's all cool.' Like, I have kids, I know what this is like. Cool, whatever. And then, he asked me for another date."
The third time would be the charm as they finally made their first date happen. Taye was late to the dinner date but Apryl absolved him of his sins because of how good he looked and how "chocolate" he was. Apparently, the date was well worth the wait in more ways than one because they ended up talking for hours up until they were the only two people left in the restaurant.
"It felt really easy," Apryl noted. "In my mind, I was hoping he'd say, 'Let's continue this somewhere.' And he was just like, 'I have to go back to my dog.' And I was like, your fucking dog? Your fucking dog?" Taye commented that in reality he was "petrified" of what was unfolding between them which is something Apryl said he would confess to her months into their relationship. "When you wait, you can't go wrong. You only go wrong when you rush," he said. "But, I was petrified."
Speaking of not being in a rush, Taye had the "taking it slow" phase on lock. Apryl revealed that they didn't touch for months, not even a kiss. They nurtured a friendship before entering a relationship. The moment of truth would eventually come when Taye invited her to a Christmas party that he said held a lot of significance for him. He had a lot of nerves about it but was blown away by how well "she held the room." It would be a turning point for their budding relationship.
On Learning to Navigate Conflict in a Healthy Way & Being Comitted No Matter What
Taye said that she intimidated him then and she still intimidates him now, which is what he feels he needs. "I think I need someone to keep me occupied. Not that it's game playing but I feel like I'm boxing above my weight. So I'm always on, I'm always on guard, you know what I mean?"
Apryl later said, "I know what I want. I know what I want. And I'm very clear on that. And I tell him all the time, like, I want you. Now get your fucking shit together or... I'm very stern on that." She added, "It's the mere fact that he knows, I don't play with my emotions."
In a very real way, the couple eventually segued into how they navigate conflict in their relationship and Apryl pointed to therapy, communication, and understanding being cornerstones of how they hold space for one another in the relationship during disagreements. Taye noted that the work was worth it because the relationship is worth it. "With him, the reason why we work is because we have a willingness to work at whatever it is," she explained.
"We talk a lot about things so also his trauma I can see in his movements and vice versa so I have a deeper understanding and love and patience with him because of why I see his habits are a particular way... We're going to do these things together or I'm going to help you get through these [things], you know what I mean? Because I don't want to change who he is."
Taye said that one of their big issues is a small issue and that is channeling vulnerability. Also, learning to accept the fact that they have different perspectives sometimes is a game changer when broaching difficult topics that come up in their relationship. That's how she feels, he said, and I have to accept that.
Before they got to that place though, Taye admitted that they would often shut the relationship down during conflict, threaten to leave, and sometimes actually leave the relationship. While they noted that there is no cheating or other people in their relationship, a lot of their arguments are rooted in the past and fear and would sometimes blow up due to mismanaging conflict when they encountered it.
Taye counted a total of three times that they broke up and made up again during their relationship (some of which we the people might have caught wind of from Instagram un-follows and re-follows). Now the couple has made the conscious decision to not activate that trigger during disagreements and to instead be "committed" to the relationship "no matter what."
On Waiting to Have Sex & How It Helped Their Relationship
In the episode, Taye and Apryl shouted out the fact that taking it slow ultimately benefitted their relationship in a number of ways. Apryl said the sex was amazing, she was happy they didn't start off with sex because they were able to create a healthy relationship with sex versus it becoming a foundation that a relationship is built on.
She said that sometimes starting off a relationship with sex makes it all that matters. "But with him, waiting scared me, number one. But number two, it was appreciated because it wasn't the first go-to for me with him. I don't fall on the sex. Although that is the most incredible thing, it is everything before that."
Apryl even recounted a trip to Mexico that they took around the holidays and the fact that she and Taye slept in the same bed together but still didn't do anything physical. It's the build-up for us. It wouldn't be until New Year's Eve when they were at dinner together sometime later, on shrooms and unable to keep their hands off of each other that they would solidify the physical aspect of their romance.
"The night was just so awesome," she recalled. After such an incredible night, Apryl said they woke up and decided they were officially together.
On Realizing They Were Each Other's "One"
Feeling like they were out of each other's leagues was something Taye and Apryl both expressed in different ways while on the podcast. Taye also touched on how becoming more in touch with his spirituality as a form of healing after his divorce opened him to see a life for himself with someone in a way that a past version of him might have not been open to.
"Meeting Apryl on Instagram and having her be... like, I saw her as a thing that didn't fit. She wasn't supposed to be with me, you know what I mean? But there was some-... I thought. But there was something inside me- the universe or spirit or whatever, God- that was like, 'Don't do what you always do. Just go with it. Just go with it...'" He continued, "And every time I took a step [in the relationship], it was great."
Taye also described signs that happened throughout their courtship that told him that Apryl was the one, including a psychic who had no idea they were dating pointing Apryl out as "the one." The conversation eventually shifts into their humor and the fact that the co-hosts knew Apryl was someone special to Taye because of the way she was able to make him laugh.
"That's the thing for me," Apryl said about their humor, "I always prayed for someone I could laugh with all the time because I feel like life is supposed to be light."
On the night before they became official, the two had a shroom ceremony on New Year's Eve where they learned that their relationship was "ordained by God," they knew each other in past lives, and that they are together for a reason and for a purpose that is beyond them to help other people see love. If their bond is any indication, Taye and Apryl are most definitely succeeding in that purpose.
Listen to the episode in full below:
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This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
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The Common Denominator Is You. So, Why Do You Keep Choosing The Wrong Men?
Everywhere you go, there you are. It’s one of those popular sayings (kind of like “It is what it is”) that I find myself using a lot, especially when I’m in sessions with my clients. Why? Well, it’s kind of likean article that I once read that pretty much said our culture likes to play the toxic game of blaming other people because it’s an easy way to deflect from personal accountability (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'”). So true, so true,
Well, another way of saying “everywhere you go, there you are” is using the math term “common denominator” — and today, what we’re going to attempt to tackle is, why is it that some of us, if we stepped back a moment to take a very real and honest assessment of our dating life, do we always end up with the same kind of guy? One who really isn’t the best for us; sometimes, not even close.
Before getting into some questions that I think can help you get to the answer, let me just say that this is definitely one of the kinds of pieces that may step on at least your pinky toe before it’s all said and done. At the same time, although this might not be the most comfortable of reads, keep in mind what the late poet, singer, and publisher Tuli Kupferberg once said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
And so, if when it comes to the caliber of men you’ve dated, what you’ve been doing is revealing that your pattern is not really working for your ultimate good, spend a bit of time trying to unpack just why that could be the case — why, at the end of the day, you truly are the common denominator in it all.
How Self-Aware Are You?
About five years ago, I penned an article for the site entitled “These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily.” You know, of all of the things to be in this life, prioritizing self-awareness is king because self-aware people do things like hold themselves accountable, know their strengths and weaknesses, identify their triggers, have good boundaries, self-reflect, pay attention to their own “blind spots” — and they can — eh hem — take feedback and constructive criticism pretty well.
That last one? If you’re constantly in a hamster wheel or even a cul-de-sac when it comes to men, be honest with yourself: did your family, friends, hell, even your co-workers warn you about some of the guys you dated, and you found yourself either defending, deflecting or getting offended? Yeah, self-aware people don’t get down like that because they would rather have peace and be wrong than act like they are always right and remain in chaos.
So yeah, if you’re always in some foolishness or even in relationships that are simply a counterproductive waste of time, pondering how self-aware you actually are is a really good place to start. Self-reflect. Know your weaknesses. Listen to what others have to say about your tendencies. All of this can do you a whole lot of good.
How Humble Are You?
Society is a wild place, boy. The reason why I say that is because, while it’s out here acting like humility is a bad thing, Scripture says, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4) And why is humility such a vital spiritual attribute? Because, when you’re humble — you’re grateful; you’re teachable; you’re open to seeing things outside of your own perspective; you’re compassionate and empathetic; you’re flexible; you’re forgiving, and you’re able to release your ego so that you can accept what you need over what you want.
What you need over what you want. Chile, if that doesn’t keep some people in cyclic stuff, I honestly don’t know what does. There’s a client that I have right now who only contacts me when she’s basically blown up her life because she constantly gets caught up in a man’s looks and bedroom performance. When I tell her that she needs to stop making that #1 and #2 of things to look for in a relationship, she “uh-huh's” me and then does what she wants to do anyway — only for it to end up wreaking all sorts of havoc…again.
It’s another message for another time about how some of us could stand to look within to see if wanting a fine man above all else is more about validating some deep-rooted insecurities that we have about our own looks (ouch). For now, I’ll just say that if your ego is out here telling you that looks and sexual performance should trump things like character and consistency, it is LYING to you. If you chose to heed the humble side of yourself, you would know that.
And this actually brings me to my next question.
How Stuck Are You in Your “Type”?
The reason why I wrote “According To Experts, We All Have A ‘Type’” back in the day is because it’s true — pretty much all of us have a type which is pretty much a preference; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either. At the same time, I’m advising, from very up close and personal experience, that it’s a good idea to spend some time pondering “the origin story” of where your type came from.
Me? I’m always gonna be down for a very tall, hella chocolate, basketball (or soccer) build Black man. However, I’m a sexual abuse survivor and my molester looked a lot like that, so during the healing process of what he did to me, I had to factor in his influence. Plus, my first love also fits the physical mold and he definitely had quite an impact on my life. So…see what I mean? My type didn’t just come out of nowhere. Yes, sometimes your type may have some trauma or drama attached to it. And yes, that might be really uncomfortable to think about; still, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Now my late fiancé? He was right at about 6’ and, complexion-wise, he was lighter than I am. He treated me better than most of the men of my past, though — and even though he definitely pursued me for a while to get me to consider us beyond being friends, because I took a risk outside of my type, I learned what it was like to be loved in a healthy way. And what that did for me was it taught me to remain open outside of my standard type. I still like a tall-ass Godiva man, chile (and don’t let him have a beard and be in a tailored suit!). I don’t limit myself to that package, though. To do so would be severely limiting — potentially tragic even.
How Healed Are You?
“Healed” is a word that comes up A LOT in the social media space. When it comes to relationships, specifically, it’s important to ask yourself if you are healed from your past because, if you aren’t, you very well could be reliving it over and over…and over again, whether you realize it (or choose to accept it) or not.
Just so that we’re all on the same page, the word “heal” means things like healthy, sound, and whole. Synonyms for the word include improve, restore, mend, soothe, and rehabilitate. Signs that you have healed from past hurts of a relationship (or a series of relationships) include you don’t think of them with anger or bitterness; you can see the silver linings from the experience; you’ve forgiven them for things that they did wrong (or that simply hurt you — and no, that’s not always one and the same), and you don’t pick (or avoid) other people to be in your life solely based on what someone else did to you.
What I mean by that last one is an unhealed woman may say something like, “I don’t want to do [such and such] for a first date. That’s what my ex liked to do.” The new guy isn’t him, so why does he have to be beholden to your past? Or, “I don’t trust men who won’t let me go through their phone. That’s how I found out my ex was cheating.” You know, for all of the women who like to play a non-animated form ofInspector Gadget (the real ones know), they sure don’t want their phones inspected as much as they like to do all of the inspecting. SMDH. Anyway, I don’t go through phones. For what? I don’t pay the bill and I’m not anyone’s parent. And so, your next guy not preferring it either? That doesn’t automatically mean that he’s up to no good — he may just want his boundaries respected. An unhealed person may not accept that. A healed one tends to, though.
And how can being unhealed play a direct role in you choosing the same guys over and over again? It’s weird because, sometimes you will go back to what’s familiar to you — because the new guy is such a risk, you’d prefer to “stick to the devil you know” than take a chance on someone who rolls very differently. It’s a cryptic way of remaining the common denominator in your dating dynamics. Oh, but it happens all of the time, chile.
What Makes a Man WRONG for You? Specifically?
Okay, with a lot of the inner work out of the way, how do you even come to the conclusion that someone (or several people) is wrong for you? Because you know what? Once you’ve done some real healing (and serious maturing), you can oftentimes find yourself accepting the fact that just because someone may not be right for you, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. No, not at all.
Although the word “wrong” can mean that something or someone isn’t morally right, wrong also means things like erroneous, not suitable or appropriate, not in accordance with certain requirements, or — and please catch it — out of order (which sometimes consists of the right thing happening at the wrong time). So, if it does seem like you keep choosing (because it is always a choice; that is also where accountability comes in) men who aren’t appropriate, aren’t in accordance with your needs or standards, or who aren’t what you need at the time — why is that? Is it rooted in fear? Impatience? Settling? What?
I have had enough clients go through this to know that it’s not good enough to be abstract about someone being “wrong” for you. You need to set aside one weekend, get some wine and a fresh journal, and really get into what wrong looks like. For instance, if you keep lowering your standards (which is the wrong thing to do, by definition), why is that? Because no matter how wrong the guy may ultimately turn out to be, what you have to be willing to accept is — again — you chose him. Why do you choose what’s wrong? Because, more times than not, some red (or at least orange) flags were waving long before the relationship came crashing down; oftentimes, they reveal themselves within the first couple of dates. You just chose to ignore them.
One more.
Do You Know a Good Man When You See One? You Sure?
As we close all of this out, when you get a chance, please check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” Learning the difference between “to” and “for” took my own relational processing to an entirely new and freeing level. And you know what? Back to the healing point, another way to know that you’ve healed is you don’t generalize men. Meaning, that if you’re out here declaring that there aren’t any good ones, that’s not true; you’re just jaded (I mean, it’s the truth), and that head and energy space is affecting your judgment and perspective.
That said, if you’re constantly selecting the wrong men, ask yourself if you even know what a good man looks like (cue India.Arie’s “Good Man”). Again, by definition, good means things like morally excellent, right, kind, friendly, benevolent, educated, financially sound (not rich, stable and responsible…goodness), genuine, reliable, dependable, responsible, attractive, warm, intimate — satisfactory to the purpose (yes, that’s a literal definition).
For a man to be good for you, you need to know what purpose he is to serve at this particular point in your life because if, for example, all men seem to do, in your eyes, is use you for sex, why are you prioritizing sex over an emotional connection if the latter is the purpose that you seek right now? A lot of women can stop being the common denominator when it comes to choosing the wrong man if they 1) become the good that they seek and 2) do not betray the purpose behind why they even desire a relationship in the first place.
____
I know. When things aren’t going your way when it comes to matters of the heart, it can be easy to always say it’s the man’s fault. If there’s a pattern, though, please be a bit more self-reflective than that.
Once you do, you’d be amazed by how much about you shifts — to where the wrong guys can’t even get close to you, in the way that they used to, anymore.
Because you cease to be the “common denominator” you once were.
And how wonderful is that?
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