Ciara On How Her Father's Love Emboldened Her To Leave Relationships That Don't Serve Her
No matter how many unfruitful relationships I endure, I know there is one man that loves me more than all of the men I've loved put together. It's this fact that has saved me from years of pain and allowed me to leave situations that no longer serve me without regret or a second thought.
A woman's first love is her father, a fact that can be a blessing… or a generational curse and Ciara knows this firsthand. In a recent interview with Vogue, the singer opened up about finding the courage to leave a toxic relationship and find true love, and according to her, she was led by her father's example:
"The male presence is very important for both boys and girls. Your son gets to see how his dad treats a woman, and your daughter gets to see how you are loved. I'm a daddy's girl, and my dad's love is what saved me in situations in my life when I could have taken a left turn."
I don't know who needs to hear this, but if it ain't growing you, it's shrinking you. I'll say that one more time for the people in the back. Your mind is a garden and your thoughts are seeds so if your current situation isn't watering you, it's hindering your growth and Ciara says that as soon as you let go of what's weighing you down, you can level up your life.
"I would think, 'My dad wouldn't love like this.' I think about my dad's love, and that's how my husband loves me."
It's because of her father's love, Ciara says, that she was intentional about finding a partner who could keep that same energy. She explained:
"The simplest things in a child's life can have the biggest impact on who they become, and we take a lot of pride in that. Future has a chore checklist and has been sweeping up around the house. Russ is all about structure – for boys especially."
Despite going through her pregnancy during a global pandemic, Ciara has managed to keep her spirits high by transitioning into "mommy-mode" and falling even deeper in love with her man. She told Vogue:
"I know there's nothing I can't get through. I've had some very hard days, but they've always prepared me for what is to come."
Featured image by Featureflash Photo Agency / Shutterstock.com
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
Issa Rae On Burnout & Why Protecting Her Marriage Is The Ultimate Act Of Self-Care
Brooke DeVard created theNaked Beauty Podcast in 2016 as an experiment to tell the stories of people who view beauty, wellness, and fashion as a form of self-expression. The podcast connects with people who share a similar approach and love for the practice of living through the lens of beauty and wellness. DeVard finds inspiration in people who take risks with their self-expression.
Who better represents self-expression than THEE Issa Rae?
Homegirl has been empowering us to be our most authentic selves for over a decade. Issa Rae’s The Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl redefined representation by showcasing a relatable, quirky, and imperfect Black woman navigating life’s challenges. Through humor and authenticity, she dismantled stereotypes and empowered audiences to embrace their individuality. Rae’s work highlighted that Black women can be multifaceted and vulnerable while still deserving of love and success.
Beyond representation, she created opportunities for other Black creatives through her production company, Hoorae, fostering inclusion in Hollywood and inspiring a new generation to tell their stories unapologetically.
So, when Issa and Brooke decided to have a kiki on Naked Beauty, best believe we were locked in. Keep reading for the moments that highlight her journey through self-discovery, embracing her authenticity, and prioritizing her well-being.
On Feeling Beautiful
The Insecure starshared that she didn’t feel beautiful until visiting Senegal at 16-17. Seeing people who looked like her was life-changing. “What I look like was the beauty standard was life-changing.” She went on to say, “LA was not the place to feel beautiful, I will say that.”
On Her Hair Relationship Evolution
Issatransitioned from seeing her natural hair as a “burden” to embracing it after seeing more natural hair representations in college. She cut it all off to promote Awkward Black Girl and encourages others to do the same at least once because it changed her life. Issa proclaimed, “It really frees you of your hair expectations in a lot of ways.” The actress continued, “Being free was a feeling I had never felt before.”
Miss Coco Chanel once said, “A woman who cuts her hair is about to change her life.” A fresh haircut's transformative power can create a sense of confidence and a sharp new look, symbolizing new beginnings. This sentiment is echoed in Coco Chanel's famous quote, highlighting the profound impact of a well-executed hairstyle.
When it comes to the natural hair moments on Insecure, Issa’s collaboration with Felicia Leatherwood was everything. Together, they created iconic natural hair moments for the show even when Issa had three inches of hair.
On Advocating for Herself
She has learned to advocate for herself but admits she sometimes overdoes it. “Sometimes I advocate a little too hard and have to fall back… I know I’m not always right.” With having one opportunity to get it right, she holds it dearly while she also sees the power of collaboration.
On Her Movie 'One of Them Days'
SZA and Keke Palmer’s roles stood out in the trailer dropped a few weeks ago. Issa shared, “SZA was a muse for Insecure. Keke can make anything entertaining… I have a new respect for her.” She calls their chemistry “funny as fuck” and “immediately amazing.” She can’t wait for people to see them together.
On Style Evolution
The LA native recognizes that she has become more aware and intentional about her style choices over time. Issa Rae's red carpet style is anything but safe. She's known for her bold prints, statement heels, and a particular fondness for jumpsuits. Over the years, Rae has graced events in show-stopping pieces by top designers.
Memorable looks include a frilled Off-White dress at the 2017 MTV Movie & TV Awards, a custom Pyer Moss jumpsuit adorned with 180,000 Swarovski crystals at the 2018 CFDA Awards (where she also broke ground as the first Black female host), and a stunning icy blue Vera Wang jumpsuit at the 70th Annual Emmy Awards. The woman is a star in every way.
On Skincare Routine
Issa recently had skin tags removed, aiding her “poreless” complexion. “I wasn’t always a ‘sunscreen girly.’ ” Her current skincare routine includes hyaluronic acid, Vitamin C serum, and her favorite product, Dewtopia by Ole Henrikson.
On Work and Self-Care
It’s no secret that Issa loves working but she shared that she honors self-care through baths, time with friends, and random outings. And on the drinking and smoking front, she says that she’s much more of a sipper than a smoker… very different from Issa Dee.
On Privacy and Boundaries
Protecting her privacy is a part of her self-care. She believes it’s important to keep things private and precious. “Being able to know that this is mine and nobody else’s,” is what serves her most. We saw this actualize when she popped out with a whole husband and we had no clue. But we get it because sometimes you have to protect what you hold dear when you’re in the spotlight. Issa also believes that other people are significantly more interesting than her.
On Burnout
Issa has gotten better at taking time off but admits struggles with burnout.“Sometimes unhealthily in terms of shutting down. It manifests as powering through, which is also really unhealthy.”She now has one day a week where she does absolutely nothing.
Watch her interview with Brooke in full below:
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Featured image by Pascal Le Segretain/Getty Images