
Ciara Says You Should Be More Specific About Your Romantic Expectations

The millennial dating world is like a game of Russian Roulette. Sometimes, it can make you feel exhilarated and lucky, and other times, the game of love might just have you ready to end it all. I, like many women, have often found myself curled up on the couch with some ice cream, deeply submerged in a hole of the latest Netflix releases, seemingly never to be dated again. Although sometimes dating may feel like a game that's best not played at all, Ciara says that it might be because you have the wrong strategy.
The entertainer recently came through with some relationship advice that's clutch for every single woman that's tired of kissing frogs with the unrealistic hope of finding Prince Charming. She opened up to Refinery29 about the strategy she used to meet the man of her dreams and contrary to popular belief, meeting Mr. Right doesn't require a complicated formula or a carefully compiled timeline.
For Ciara, the secret to her meeting the love of her life was simple: Specificity. According to the law of attraction, what you speak into life will come to you, but that doesn't mean that it comes when you want it to. Ciara had this advice:
"Be patient for the right moment, you don't want to rush love. Be specific and clear on what you desire."
The singer also emphasized the fact that everything that glitters isn't gold. She reminded us that it's important to pay more attention to someone's actions than their words; just because someone says that they love you, doesn't mean that they really know how. The entertainer pointed out that becoming specific in your desires will help weed out potential partners that don't have your best interests in mind. She continued:
"When we become clear, we make better decisions versus listening to the first words somebody tells you. It always sounds good in the beginning, but what are they actually saying?"
After her highly publicized break-up with the father of her son, Ciara knows a thing or two about knowing how to bounce back. Anyone knows, that after a heartbreak, it feels like you'll never find the courage or strength the same way you used to. We become jaded, angry, and unable to receive any love that we discover thereafter, but Ciara says it's time to let that hurt go, sis. She told Refinery29 that even though she's been hurt in the past, she had to have faith in God and her purpose to get back up again:
"No matter what I've gone through in my life, I've always believed and always had faith. The most important thing is believing in love. It gives you the courage, the inspiration to keep on pushing forward."
The singer shared these words of advice for women who fear that they'll never fully recover from heartbreak:
"Sometimes, you can get discouraged when you feel like, 'Wow, that was years of my life. What are you doing with your time? But the reality is, time keeps going forward.'
Ciara reminds us that there's power in a plan, even when it comes to relationship. She's also proves that when your plan falls through, it's usually so that a better plan can fall together. So to all my fellow single ladies: the time has come that we get intentional about what we want. Gone are the days when we settled for a snack. Ciara reminds us that with specificity, faith, and a little bit of patience, we can have a full-course meal.
Read Ciara's full interview here.
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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'Leave Quicker': Keri Hilson Opens Up About Learning When To Walk Away In Love
What you might call Black love goals, Keri Hilson is kindly saying, “Nah.”
In a recent appearance on Cam Newton’s Funky Friday podcast, the We Need to Talk: Love singer opened up about a past relationship that once had the public rooting for her and former NBA star Serge Ibaka. According to Cam, the pair looked “immaculate” together. Keri agreed, admitting, “We looked good.” But her demeanor made it clear that everything that looks good isn't always a good look for you.
That was all but confirmed when Cam asked what the relationship taught her. Keri sighed deeply before replying, “Whew. Leave quicker.”
It was the kind of answer that doesn’t need to be packaged to be received, just raw truth from someone who’s done the work. “Ten months in, I should have [left],” she continued. “But I was believing. I was wanting to not believe [the signs].”
Keri revealed to Cam that despite their efforts to repair the relationship at the time, including couples counseling, individual therapy, and even sitting with Serge’s pastor, it just wasn’t meant to be. A large part of that, she said, was the seven-year age gap. “He was [in his] mid-twenties,” she said, attributing a lot of their misalignment to his youth and the temptations that came with fame, money, and status.
“There were happenings,” she shared, choosing her words carefully. “He deserved to live that… I want what you want. I don’t want anything different. So if I would’ve told him how to love me better, it would’ve denied him the experience of being ‘the man’ in the world.”
But she also made it clear that just because you understand someone’s path doesn’t mean you have to ride it out with them. Instead, you can practice compassionate detachment like our girl Keri. “You can have what you want, but you may not have me and that.”
When Cam jokingly questioned what if there was a reality where a man wanted to have both “you and a dab of that,” Keri didn’t hesitate with her stance: “No,” adding, “I can remove myself and [then you] have it. Enjoy it.” Sis said what she said.
Still, she shared that they dated for a couple of years and remain cool to this day. For Keri, being on good terms with an ex isn’t a sign of weakness; it's a reflection of where she is in her healing. In a time when blocking an ex is often seen as the ultimate sign of growth, Keri offers an alternate route: one where healing looks like resolution, not resentment. “I think because I have such a disgust for ugliness in my life. Like, I don't do well without peace between me and everyone in my life. Like, I really try to resolve issues,” she explained to Cam.
Adding, “I think that's what makes things difficult when you're like sweeping things under the rug or harboring ill feelings towards someone. When you're healed, when you've done your work, you can speak to anybody when you've healed from things. I think maybe that's the bottom line.”
Watch Keri's appearance on Funky Friday in full here.
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