

Kissing is such a fascinating thing — to me. The reason why I say that is because, if the person you are exchanging a kiss with is someone who is good at it, it can be the sexiest, most special and most exhilarating thing ever. On the other hand, if they aren't so good — it's just gross. I don't know about y'all, but kissing is such a big deal in my world that I once broke up with someone, in part, because they totally sucked at doing it. It was like, no matter how hard I tried to explain to them what I needed in order to feel like we were in "kissing sync", they would continue to go off and do their own thing. All over my face (yuck).
Hmph. One day, maybe we'll talk about how a lot of people's kissing techniques can explain how they get down when it comes to communication and connection, in general (chile). For now, I'll just say that if you've got someone who is a great kisser in your life (the "Usher kind" and otherwise #wink), don't take them for granted because not all kissers are created equal. Oh, and if you're looking for an orgasm hack that has quite a bit of scientific proof to back it up, that's another reason to kiss more often because, from what I've read and researched, a gateway to more climaxing is definitely more kissing.
How Kissing Emotionally Improves Sex
Can people have great sex without an emotional connection? It's been known to happen. Still, even with the individuals I know who are huge casual sex fans, whenever we engage in semi-deep chats, something that they all have told me is that sex is so much better when there is an emotional bond between them and their partner. Something that emphasizes that kind of bond and even helps to cultivate it is kissing. I've actually checked out a study that said the frequency that two people kiss can actually reveal quite a bit when it comes to how relationally and sexually satisfied they actually are with one another.
While I do think it's interesting that this study also stated that men find kissing to be more essential at the beginning of the relationship as well as it being an act of foreplay while women believed that kissing is important all throughout when you really stop to think about it, how could kissing not help to cultivate a stronger emotional bond which could make sex so much better in the long run? You've got to get close to kiss and, if you do it all of the time, there's got to be some strong chemistry, good energy, and a real connection that you feel with your partner. Otherwise…why would you do it?
How Kissing Physically Enhances Sex
When I was in college, I used to hear quite a bit of people (men and women alike) talk about how they could have sex and not kiss during the act. Then I wrote an article for this platform where some people told me that they could do the same thing (check out "Umm, What's Up With These People Who Hate Kissing?"). Chile, I can't even remotely relate because, to me, kissing is what arouses me to want to get closer and go deeper…if you know what I mean. Science backs these sentiments too.
For one thing, kissing triggers the brain release of natural "feel-good hormones" like oxytocin, dopamine, and serotonin. And when I mean "feel good", I mean that they can make you hornier and even cause you to feel somewhat euphoric. Kissing also reduces your cortisol levels and I think we all can vouch for the fact that the more relaxed we feel, the more we're literally able to take it all in (pun intended) which makes for a much more pleasurable sexual experience. Also, kissing increases your heart rate. As a direct result, your blood vessels dilate, all over your body, which can result in more sexual stimulation and more intensified orgasms.
Also, because one of the things that saliva has in it is testosterone and that is a sex hormone booster when you're kissing your partner, it can trigger its level as well. Oh, and if you've got a headache? One way to ease it is to kiss because kissing lowers your blood pressure which results in less head tension.
Gee, if you put all of these things together, how could it not be extremely obvious that kissing is an activity that can physically get you interested in having sex and keep you totally and sensually involved before, during, and after the act is done?
How Kissing Can Make Orgasms More Possible and Intensifies Them
Here's a point that just might be your "something new" for the day. OK, so a man's penis has around 4,000 nerve endings in it. Your clitoris? About twice that many. Bookmark that. Interestingly enough, when I was asking a male friend of mine to explain to me what an orgasm felt like to him, he said that rubbing my tongue along the inside of my cheek was the closest he could come to defining it. And looka here — word on the street is that our lips are 100 times more sensitive than say, our fingertips. In fact, I once read that, according to the Kama Sutra, our lips "mimic" our vagina with our lips representing our labia, the "dip" of our upper lip representing our clitoris, and the palate above the top of our front teeth representing our G-spot (very interesting). If you add to all of this the fact that kissing involves, shoot, all of our five senses, on some level (taste, touch, smell, sight, and hearing), I totally get how kissing can make an orgasm happen — or that it can cause the ones that are happening to go to even greater heights!
Matter of fact, I can raise my hand in this class and say that there have been a few men in my past who were such kissing masters (and our connection was so "there") that I was able to have an orgasm, just by kissing alone. And boy, is it something to behold. BE. HOLD. And again, that would make complete and total sense if our lips are way more sensitive than some of the other parts of our body — parts that we may even consider to be erogenous zones.
Honestly, I don't know what else to tell y'all other than, if you either struggle with climaxing or you want the ones that you do experience to go another level, kissing more often, more intently, and more intensely could be the solution that you've been looking for. So, next time that you're about to get it on and in, focus on kissing more — not just as a way to get things started but to keep things going. You might just be surprised how it makes you feel…head to toe. Quite literally.
Featured image by Giphy
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Swipe Right For Sisterhood: Reginae Carter Talks Teaming Up With BLK To Make Friendships Front & Center
You know the vibes: dating apps aren’t just for finding romance anymore—at least not for Gen Z! As young people continue to redefine connection, BLK, the leading dating app for Black singles, is shaking things up with the launch of Social Mode. The new feature allows users to toggle between dating and platonic connections. Yep, you read that right—friendship is now just as easy to find as love.
To kick off this game-changing launch, BLK teamed up with TV personality and socialite Reginae Carter for the ultimate Girls’ Night In, proving that sisterhood is just as important as romance. The exclusive event was a celebration of the new feature and the power of Black women coming together to uplift one another.
“Your circle is everything,” Reginae shares with a smile, and she’s not wrong. She’s all about creating spaces where we can come together, let our hair down, and vibe with like-minded women. “We deserve spaces to meet, uplift, and vibe with each other. BLK is making that happen,” she adds.
A New Era for Friendships—Social Mode Is Here!
Gen Z is all about building meaningful connections, whether it’s with a date or a new brunch buddy. That’s why Social Mode is such a big deal. Research shows that 65% of Gen Z values friendships just as much as romantic relationships. With BLK’s new feature, users can easily toggle between “Dating” and “Social,” opening up a world of platonic connections—no swiping right required.
Bahja Rodriguez, Reginae Carter, Breaunna Womack, Lourdes Rodriguez and Zonnique Pullins attend OMG Girlz "Make A Scene" Single Release & Video Viewing Party at Trap City Cafe on March 27, 2025 in Atlanta, Georgia
Photo by Prince Williams/WireImage
Reginae Carter Hosts the Ultimate Girls’ Night In—Powered by BLK Social Mode
What better way to show Social Mode in action than with an exclusive Girls’ Night In, hosted by Reginae? The event brought together top influencers, tastemakers, and press for a night of luxury, self-care, and real talk about love, sex, and relationships. From tarot readings to perfume-making and signature cocktails, the evening embodied the “soft life” vibe that many Black women are embracing in 2025—peaceful, intentional, and full of joy.
Guests mingled, laughed, and bonded over the importance of finding a tribe that supports you. It wasn’t just about fun (although there was plenty of that!)—it was about creating a circle of inspiring, strong women. “We need to stick together. We need to be each other’s village,” Reginae says, emphasizing the power of community over competition.
Sisterhood: The Real MVP
For Reginae, it’s all about friendship—and not just the surface-level kind. “We need friends who keep it real with us. The ones who can tell us when we’re right, when we’re wrong, and when we need to calm down,” she says. As someone who navigates the spotlight, she’s got the best of both worlds: friends who understand the grind and those who can give her an honest, grounded perspective.
Her advice for building strong, intentional friendships? “Be confident in yourself and know your worth,” she explains. “Also, hurt people hurt people, so make sure you’re coming from a good place when you’re building relationships. It’s not always about being nice—sometimes it’s about being real.”
Reginae couldn’t have summed it up better: “When you have the right circle, the right tribe, everything just feels easier. And that’s exactly what BLK is giving us—space to connect, laugh, and grow with each other.”
To learn more about BLK’s Social Mode, download or update the BLK app in the App Store or Google Play Store today. Who knows? You might just find your new bestie or your next brunch crew.
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Feature image by Prince Williams/WireImage