

Let’s talk about sex, baby! Specifically, sex during pregnancy and the sex positions that are safe for pregnant women. Finding the best sex position can be stressful enough with your partner. Now, try doing that with a bun in the oven. It’s bad enough that you could be uncomfortable and exhausted, or your sex drive is through the roof due to hormonal changes. So often, many parents are afraid of “hurting the baby/babies” or not being able to perform as they did before pregnancy. But understand that a baby stops nothing, especially keeping those sparks alive in the bedroom.
But what are the best sex positions for pregnant women, and do those positions only cater to people in specific trimesters? Luckily, birthing expert, teacher, and founder of Empowered Black Doula, Keshia Lockett, is here to answer some of our most pressing questions about the best sex positions for pregnant women, including women who may not be able to engage physically. Keshia explains that the task may not be the easiest, but it’s very doable and worth it, no matter what trimester you’re in.
Here are Keshia’s tips and tricks for having sex safely while pregnant.
What To Know About Sex During Pregnancy
"The best advice I can give is that it will not hurt you when you have sex while pregnant. The biggest thing to understand is that your baby is protected. Your baby is in the uterus. Your baby is surrounded by amniotic fluid, and there is no way for your partner to get that far up to harm your baby.
"And there is another barrier protecting your baby from that [which] is your cervix. Your cervix is down extremely low into your pelvis, another way you’re protected. So you can cross that off [your list of concerns] because there is no way to reach the baby. And you should be able to enjoy it as much as you want to enjoy it."
Sex During Pregnancy: The First 3 Months
"Before your belly grows, you have a free for all. You can pretty much do the same sex positions you were doing before pre-pregnancy. Everyone is different; some people’s [belly] start showing much earlier than others."
After the First Trimester: The Best Pregnant Sex Positions
1. Reverse cowgirl
Qori B./xoNecole
"When you’re on top but facing the opposite of your partner. That’s a very comfortable position, and you’ll have more control. You can control everything while also being more comfortable. Your belly isn’t on them too much, and they’re also comfortable."
2. Spooning
Qori B./xoNecole
"[For spooning,] you’ll want to lay the leg you’re lying on straight and your other leg up. And [you can] rest the raised leg on your partner for additional support."
3. Cowgirl
Qori B./xoNecole
"Another one where you’re on top and in control. [Control in terms of the level of penetration and motion of straddle.]"
4. Edge of the bed (table top)
Qori B./xoNecole
"[In this position,] your body is at the edge of the bed but not too much on your back. There are blood vessels in your back, and laying on your back while pregnant can cause breathing issues with the placenta, you, and the baby. So, I would suggest tilting to the side."
5. Doggy style
Qori B./xoNecole
"Everyone loves this one, and it’s the easiest one, too, because your belly isn’t in the way of this position."
How to Use Sex Toys During Pregnancy Safely
Qori B./xoNecole
"[During pregnancy], you can enjoy [sex] toys as much as you want to. And for many women, towards the end of their pregnancy, sex is uncomfortable. Sex toys provide you and your partner options when penetration isn’t as comfortable.
"Sex releases oxytocin, the primary hormone that makes you go into labor. I have had clients call me to tell me they were in labor and had sex the night before. So, therefore, using sex toys can release those hormones and put your body in labor.
"Sex can be achievable and pleasurable for everyone. Even rough sex is okay unless a woman is diagnosed with a short cervix. Then she has to avoid rough sex, or else she can go into preterm labor. And sometimes, their doctor will prohibit sex altogether and want their patient to stay away from an orgasm. If that is the case, she and her partner can focus on clitoris-stimulating toys, which is another reason sex toys are great.
"Unfortunately, Black women are more at risk for developing a short cervix, and having it can stop you from doing many things you enjoyed before pregnancy."
In addition to all of the insightful information Keshia provided, she also wants women to know that if they're at a stage of their pregnancy where they do not want sex as much or at all, there are other options for intimacy – dates, foot massages, baths together, etc.
Lastly, couples should listen to each other, listen to their bodies, and not be afraid to ask their doula or medical provider questions. That is what they are there for.
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- The Journey To Motherhood Is The Best-Kept Secret, Let Me Tell You Why ›
- The Best Way To "Ease Into Sex" After Having A Baby ›
Devale Ellis On Being A Provider, Marriage Growth & Redefining Fatherhood
In this candid episode of the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker talked with Devale Ellis, actor, social media personality, and star of Zatima, about modern masculinity, learning to be a better husband, emotional presence in marriage, fatherhood for Black men, and leading by example.
“I Wasn’t Present Emotionally”: Devale Ellis on Marriage Growth
Devale Ellis On Learning He Was a ‘Bad Husband’
Ellis grew up believing that a man should prioritize providing for his family. “I know this may come off as misogynistic, but I feel like it’s my responsibility as a man to pay for everything,” he said, emphasizing the wise guidance passed down by his father. However, five years into his marriage to long-time partner Khadeen Ellis, he realized provision wasn’t just financial.
“I was a bad husband because I wasn’t present emotionally… I wasn’t concerned about what she needed outside of the resources.”
Once he shifted his mindset, his marriage improved. “In me trying to be of service to her, I learned that me being of service created a woman who is now willing to be of service to me.”
On Redefining Masculinity and Fatherhood
For Ellis, “being a man is about being consistent.” As a father of four, he sees parenthood as a chance to reshape the future.
“Children give you another chance at life. I have four different opportunities right now to do my life all over again.”
He also works to uplift young Black men, reinforcing their worth in a world that often undermines them. His values extend to his career—Ellis refuses to play roles that involve domestic violence or sexual assault.
Watch the full episode below:
On Marriage, Family Planning, and Writing His Story
After his wife’s postpartum preeclampsia, Ellis chose a vasectomy over her taking hormonal birth control, further proving his commitment to their partnership. He and Khadeen share their journey in We Over Me, and his next book, Raising Kings: How Fatherhood Saved Me From Myself, is on the way.
Through honesty and growth, Devale Ellis challenges traditional ideas of masculinity, making his story one that resonates deeply with millennial women.
For the xoMAN podcast, host Kiara Walker peels back the layers of masculinity with candid conversations that challenge stereotypes and celebrate vulnerability. Real men. Real stories. Real talk.
Want more real talk from xoMAN? Catch the full audio episodes every Tuesday on Spotify and Apple Podcasts, and don’t miss the full video drops every Wednesday on YouTube. Hit follow, subscribe, and stay tapped in.
Featured image by YouTube/xoNecole
From Rock Bottom To Redemption: Paula Patton Opens Up About Her New Film 'Finding Faith'
When Paula Patton’s name is on a project, you already know it’s going to bring some soul. From Jumping the Broom to Baggage Claim, she’s long been a radiant presence on-screen. But in her new film Finding Faith, premiering in theaters June 16–17 via Fathom Events, Paula digs deeper—into grief, healing, and ultimately, redemption.
The film follows Faith Mitchell, a wife and mother whose life is upended by a devastating loss. As she spirals into despair, it’s the love of family, friends, and God that slowly leads her back to light. And for Paula, this story wasn’t just a role—it was personal.
“It connected to a time in my life that I could really relate to,” she says. “That feeling of having lost so much and feeling like so much pain, and not knowing how to deal with the pain… and numbing out to do that.”
Courtesy
A Story That Hit Close to Home
Having been sober for seven years, Paula says the emotional territory was familiar. But more than anything, it brought her closer to a deeper truth.
“Once you give [the numbing] up, you have to walk in the desert alone… and that’s when I truly found faith in God.”
Turning Pain Into Purpose
While the film touches on loss and addiction, Finding Faith ultimately lives up to its title. Paula describes the acting process as cathartic—and one she was finally ready for.
“Art became healing,” she says. “That was the biggest challenge of all… but it was a challenge I wanted.”
More Than an Inspirational Thriller
Finding Faith is described as an “inspirational thriller,” with layered tones of romance, suspense, and spiritual reflection. Paula credits that dynamic blend to writer-director LazRael Lison.
“That’s what I love about Finding Faith,” she explains. “Yes, she goes on this journey, but there’s other storylines happening that help it stay entertaining.”
"Finding Faith" cast
Courtesy
On-Set Magic with Loretta Devine
With a cast stacked with phenomnal talent—Loretta Devine, Keith David, Stephen Bishop—it’s no surprise that the film also came alive through unscripted moments.
“We did this kitchen scene… and Loretta changed it,” Paula shares. “She wouldn’t leave. I had to change my dance and figure out how to work with it, and it took on this whole other layer. I’m forever grateful.”
Faith When It Feels Like Night
The film leans on the biblical verse: “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” Paula says that reminder is something she’s lived.
“When you’re feeling so anxious, and you look out in the distance and see nothing there… that’s when you have to trust God’s timing.”
Divine Timing Behind the Scenes
Paula didn’t just star in the film—she produced it through her company, Third Eye Productions. And the way the opportunity came to her? Nothing short of divine.
“I said, ‘Just for one week, believe everything’s going to be perfect,’” she recalls. “That same day, my friend Charles called and said, ‘I have a film for you. It’s called Finding Faith.’ I thought I was going to throw the phone down.”
What’s Next for Paula Patton?
When asked about a dream role, Paula didn’t name a genre or a character. Her focus now is on legacy—and light.
“I want to make sure I keep making art that entertains people, but also has hope… That it has a bright light at the end to get us through this journey here on Earth.”
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