Amid the news of the coronavirus pandemic, April beckons us out of our winter hibernation and into the warmth of spring. Venus blesses us with some lighthearted, flirtatious energy when she moves into Gemini on April 3. The Full Moon in Libra on April 7 helps us bring balance to areas of our lives that are in disarray.
Mercury's transit in Aries reminds us to think before we speak but also grants us the conviction needed to speak up for ourselves when needed. Toward the end of the month, Taurus takes center stage inviting us to indulge in the sensual pleasures of life and align with more abundance.
Check out how this month's cosmic blueprint affects your sign:
Aries
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Happy birthday to the leading lady of the zodiac! Your solar return is supported by Venus entering Gemini on the 3rd, awakening the social butterfly in you. On 4/4, the Jupiter-Pluto conjunction can potentially offer you a transformative career opportunity that requires you to overcome a deep-seated fear of yours. As we work our way to the Full Moon on the 7th, be mindful of your temper especially in dealing with personal and professional relationships. Getting on the same page with others may prove to be difficult when Mercury moves into your sign on the 11th. Breathe through the discord and try to find a happy middle ground.
The Sun transitions into Taurus on the 19th helping you take a more practical approach toward your finances. It's time to reel in the spending and focus on saving. The New Moon on the 22nd invites you to consider what financial goal you'd like to reach within the next six months. If you're up for adding a new source of income on your list, now is the time to tap into those hidden gifts and talents. Once Mercury moves into Taurus a few days later, you're ready to strategize your way to more wealth. On the 25th, Pluto begins its retrograde and the next several months encourages you to face any fears related to harnessing your own personal power and making shit shake when it comes to your career. It's time to lay the self-sabotage to rest and surrender to your success!
Taurus
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April kicks off with your ruling planet moving into Gemini on the 3rd. This benevolent energy blesses your finances and loves life through your gift of gab. Don't be modest, babe. Now is the time to sell yourself and that amazing product or services you have to offer. The Jupiter-Pluto conjunction on the 4th supports you with a transformative opportunity to share your expertise with a wider audience. On the 7th, the Full Moon reveals how some of your habits and routines are draining you (and maybe a hater in the workplace, too). Mercury shifts into Aries on the 11th which could bring up some hidden anger if you're not feeling heard. Use your words like a big girl and speak up for yourself in a tactful approach.
Your birthday season begins when the Sun moves into your sign on the 19th. The New Moon on the 22nd invites you to make a wish for what you want to accomplish in the next year. Don't forget to show off that new birthday makeover while you're at it. On the 25th, Pluto begins its retrograde, encouraging you to connect with the voice of your own inner guru. The time during this transit is best spent refining your code of ethics, spiritual beliefs, and philosophies about life. If you're in school, you'll feel pulled even deeper into your studies with the desire to master what you're learning. The month comes to a calm close with Mercury moving into your sign, making you the topic of discussion and the go-to for guidance, advice, or a shoulder to lean on.
Gemini
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Venus is giving you some extra TLC this month when she moves into your sign on the 3rd. As the social butterfly of the zodiac, your charm factor goes up another notch when the planet of love peruses through Gemini. On the 4th, the Jupiter-Pluto conjunction helps you overcome a big fear with a lighthearted approach. Who said that healing has to be difficult? In your case, laughter is the best medicine. On the 7th, the Full Moon boosts your creativity and your need for some adventure—romance included. Love won't just show up on your doorstep so get out there and do what you do best—FLIRT!
Taurus season officially begins on the 19th and over the next month your focus is on your inner world as you prepare for your birthday season. Meditate, reflect, and get plenty of sleep. Your dreams will reveal what habits, hang ups, and relationships you need to release before your solar return. The New Moon on the 22nd offers you the karmic reset that you need to feel more confident about the new directions you're going in when it comes to exploring how you can turn your natural gifts and talents into a stream of income. On the 25th, Pluto begins its retrograde and over the next six months you'll be transforming trauma into grace, wisdom, and a deeper love and appreciation for yourself. Working with a therapist can equip you with the psychological tools you need to thrive in close, intimate connections of all kinds.
Cancer
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The month begins with Venus moving into Gemini on the 3rd. Matters of love take on a more private approach during this transit. Take it slow and get plenty of sleep to receive some new money-making ideas in your dream time. On 4/4, the Jupiter-Pluto conjunction supports you in stabilizing a partnership whether romantic or professional. The Full Moon on the 7th could have you considering a move if you've outgrown your current living arrangements. At the least, there could be a convo you need to initiate with your roomie who keeps paying the rent late or leaving their mess in the common areas.
Do your best to keep your temper in check once Mercury moves into Aries on the 11th. Your drive for success is admirable. Just make sure you're not stepping on any toes or rubbing your boss the wrong way. As the saying goes, "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." On the 19th, the Sun moves into Taurus, making this a good time to reconnect with friends and the New Moon on the 22nd invites you to expand your social network. Over the next month, you could be meeting some key players that will help turn your vision into a reality. On the 25th, Pluto begins its retrograde through the fall. This transit is intended to help you transform your personal boundaries so you can experience more fulfilling, healthy interactions, and relationships.
Leo
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April takes off with Venus moving into Gemini on the 3rd helping you attract good fortune and opportunities through your social network. As the saying goes, "It's not what you know. It's who you know." On 4/4, the Jupiter-Pluto conjunction supports you in getting to the root of any health issues while helping you stay disciplined in making those new habits stick! The Full Moon on the 7th invites you to share our beauty with the world, whether that's through an inspirational thread of tweets or a new selfie on IG flaunting your makeup skills.
On the 11th, Mercury moves into Aries and you're in the mood for some adventure. Now that the retrograde is over, it's the perfect time to take that girls' trip to Bali. A week later, the Sun moves into Taurus which brings your focus to climbing the social, and professional, ladder. Recognition for a job well done from someone you look up to is likely during this time. On the 22nd, the New Moon could have you stepping into a new job title or more influence among those who admire you. Pluto begins its six-month retrograde on the 25th, helping you shift your energy and mindset to align with your desired lifestyle (and body goals). The month comes to a sweet close with Mercury mellowing out in Taurus for a few weeks, reminding you that achieving your goals isn't a race but a marathon instead.
Virgo
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The planet of love and money blesses your career progression with some important convos taking place throughout the month. On the 4th, the Jupiter-Pluto conjunction helps you reach new heights in your creativity. It may not always feel comfortable but your authentic expression matters so don't be afraid to share your truth! The Full Moon on the 7th could reveal how you've been mismanaging your finances. Practice a little constraint by getting back on that budget. If you think you're being overworked and underpaid, this could be a good time to negotiate a raise. On the 11th, Mercury moves into Aries for a few weeks. Be mindful of any pent up aggression you're harboring and seek healthy ways to express it like taking a kickboxing class.
The Sun moves into Taurus on the 19th and your hunger for knowledge could have you applying for school or booking a trip to a distant land that you feel connected to. The New Moon on the 22nd invites you to explore a new way to approach your spiritual wellness, making this a great time to sign up for that online course about balancing your chakras. Once Mercury links up with these two luminaries, your mind is ready to absorb new information to incorporate into your own belief system as well as your spiritual practices. Toward the end of the month, Pluto begins its retrograde, helping you transform the narrative that has neglected your inner child's deepest desires for adventure, creative expression, and love.
Libra
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The beginning of the month has you curious and adventurous when it comes to matters of love. Meeting someone during your travels or in an educational setting is likely during this transit. When it comes to money, consider what you're an expert at and create a course for others who are interested in learning your craft. On the 4th, the Jupiter-Pluto conjunction supports you in transforming dysfunctional family dynamics and clearing out the remnants of generational karma. Your Full Moon on the 7th invites you to show the world what you've got—whether it's your ASSets, skillset, or all of the above.
On the 11th, Mercury lights up your relationships with passion and fury. Be mindful of power struggles over the next few weeks but don't be afraid to stand up for yourself when necessary. The Sun enters Taurus on the 19th bringing your focus to sex and intimacy, making this the perfect time to get a little closer to your loved ones. The New Moon on the 22nd could present a new stream of income and, with Mercury moving into Taurus, your money-management skills are improving drastically. It's time to strategize your way out of debt and into wealth. Around the end of the month, Pluto goes retrograde, encouraging you to embrace the power of the Divine Feminine and the wonders that you can create when you embody your magical essence.
Scorpio
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April kicks off with Venus inviting you into closer, more meaningful connections. As one of the deepest signs of the zodiac, you'll enjoy this transit and the chance to see others, and yourself, in a vulnerable way. On the 4th, the Jupiter/Pluto conjunction helps you overcome any fears of being in the spotlight and sharing your truth. If you're aiming to expand your social media presence, this aspect is super supportive in doing just that. On the 7th, the Full Moon helps you break free from a karmic cycle in your relationships. It's time for you to receive as much as you give to others. Mercury moves into Aries on the 11th getting you motivated and in the gym just in time to get that summer body together! You'll be feeling a little aggressive during this transit so be mindful of your interactions with your co-workers. It's not what you say, boo. It's how you say it.
On the 19th, the Sun enters Taurus coupled by a New Moon on the 22nd inviting you to take a relationship to the next level. An engagement could be in the midst for some of you while others of you are making an important business connection that has the potential to take you places professionally. Once Mercury joins these two luminaries on the 27th, you'll be ready to sign your name on the dotted line. The month winds down with the planet of transformation starting its six-month retrograde, making this an opportune time to assess the way you communicate with yourself and others. Our words are powerful spells that can create our personal Heaven or Hell on Earth. Use your magic wisely.
Sagittarius
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You enter into the month with Venus moving into your opposite sign on the 3rd. If you're single and ready to mingle, it's time to hit up your local brunch spot. For the coupled Saggies, this transit can bring some fresh, exciting energy back into the mix. On the 4th, the Jupiter/Pluto conjunction supports you with a lucky breakthrough financially but it may require you to step outside of your comfort zone to receive it. Believe in your gifts, babe. You wouldn't be offered the opportunity if you weren't capable of exceeding in the role. The Full Moon on the 7th is a great time to gather with new and old friends alike to celebrate your wins—regardless of how big or small they seem.
Watch out for that feisty temper of yours when Mercury moves into Aries on the 11th. We know you love to debate like you're a candidate for the next presidential election but bae may not be in the mood to spar with you so bring it down just a bit. On the 19th, the Sun enters Taurus shortly followed by a New Moon on the 22nd. A focus on improving your health and well-being is your top priority. It's time to commit to those new habits that will result in a more balanced lifestyle. On the 25th, Pluto goes retrograde, helping you blast through those subconscious money blocks so you can get on a smoother road to your prosperity.
Capricorn
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The month kicks off with the goddess of love reminding you that "health is wealth". Sign up for that spin class or learn about some detox plans to get your summer bod going in full effect. On 4/4, the Jupiter-Pluto conjunction helps you get clear on what really matters and where your energy is best directed. The Full Moon on the 7th illuminates how you can take a more balanced approach to achieving your career goals. This is also a good time to renegotiate existing contracts or to ask your boss for a raise. On the 11th, Mercury moves into Aries, bringing your focus to family and home. Being nice may not be your thing but try to have a little tact when letting your roommate know that you're tired of cleaning up after their lazy ass.
The Sun enters Taurus on the 19th inviting you to nurture your inner child. This is a great time to pick up that old hobby, take a weekend getaway, or indulge in some romance. On the 22nd, the New Moon supports you in planting the seed for new creative projects. With Mercury moving into this part of your chart, you're reminded to believe in the value of your self-expression. The month ends on a more introspective note with Pluto going retrograde, initiating you into some deep, inner work that will uncover hidden aspects of your relationship with power and how you utilize it in the world.
Aquarius
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Romance, adventure, and creative inspo overflow when Venus moves into flirtatious Gemini on the 3rd. On the 4th, the Jupiter-Pluto conjunction invites you to explore your hidden desires as well as any judgements you have about actually having your desires fulfilled. The Full Moon on the 7th has your 3rd eye wide open and ready to receive the next set of instructions on your journey. Teaching, writing, and traveling opportunities are likely on the agenda. On the 11th, Mercury moves into Aries instilling you with the conviction you need to speak your truth. Choose your battles wisely though. Every fight isn't worth your energy.
On the 19th, the Sun moves into Taurus, bringing your focus to family. The New Moon on the 22nd has you planning some home renovations or a relocation. Once Mercury comes buzzing along (and your tax refund is deposited) you'll be hitting up your local HomeGoods to beautify your space for any home entertaining you'll be doing this spring. April winds down with Pluto going retrograde on the 25th inviting you to integrate hidden aspects of yourself that are necessary for you to actualize more personal power.
Pisces
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The month begins with Venus bringing the good vibes, and the tea, straight to your living room. This is the perfect time to bring the party, or a small get-together, to your home. On 4/4, the Jupiter-Pluto conjunction encroaches you to embrace your desire for connection and a purpose-driven approach to life. Your big heart is capable of changing the world around you. The Full Moon on the 7th marks the end of a tough cycle. You either allow the pain to make you or break you and you've chosen to allow yours to be the catalyst for your glow up.
On the 11th, Mercury moves into Aries, giving the courage to stand up for your worth. Prices are going up, baby! The Sun moves into Taurus on the 19th followed by a mellow New Moon on the 22nd, making this an opportune time to work on practical ways of expanding your social media platform, website, or YouTube channel. Your influence has the potential to get you in a sweeter spot financially. On the 25th, Pluto goes retrograde for six months, encouraging you to "be the change that you want to see in the world".
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A big part of the clarity that is coming through this month is due to Neptune going direct in Pisces on December 10, after being retrograde here since July. With Neptune now direct, we are able to see our inspiration and creativity a little more clearly, providing the perfect energy for dreams and manifestation to be built upon. The smoke is clearing, and it’s up to you to decide what you want to do with this newfound clarity that this transit is bringing. Mercury also moves back into Sagittarius on December 11, which is great for communication and clarity, and the adventures you were trying to see through at the beginning of November come around for you again with greater purpose and support.
On December 15, Mars enters Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and this is the extra push we need to make important changes and to be on the path towards greater abundance, stability, and prosperity. Mars in Capricorn takes care of business, and we have extra energy at our disposal during this time to do so. This transit is an ideal time to focus on your career or financial goals for next year and to start putting some of these plans into motion now. A few days later, we have the New Moon of the month, which will be in Sagittarius on December 19, and this is the perfect New Moon to manifest.
The energy is high, magic is in the air, and it’s all about moving forward with the new beginnings that are inspiring you and bringing you joy to think about right now.
Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21, and this earth sign energy is how we heal, gain closure, and build new foundations in our world. With Venus also moving into a Capricorn a few days later, there is something about peace, prosperity, and security that we are gaining in life and in love as we close out the year, and this is what we need right now. This month is about reflecting on what was, letting go of old hurt, and renewing. December is an ending and a new beginning in one, and there is magic in this space to be created.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what December 2025 has in store for you.
AriesKyra Jay for xoNecoleARIES
December is a full-circle moment for you, Aries. You are seeing the gifts in your world and have a lot of gratitude for the way things have come about for you as of late. There are culminations in your world that are providing you with more abundance, stability, and community, and you are exactly where you are meant to be this month. With the Sun in a fellow fire sign and in your 9th house of travel for most of the month, December is a good time to get out of your comfort zone, explore the world around you, and get your body moving.
Mars, your ruling planet, also makes a change and moves into Capricorn on December 15, which will fuel your inspiration and power in your career space. You are making a lot of professional progress as we close out the year; however, make sure to be more mindful of your competitive drive right now. The New Moon on December 19 is the perfect opportunity for you to create some new plans and goals when it comes to traveling, education, and where you want to gain some new inspiration in your world. Overall, this is a month of things coming together for you serendipitously.
TaurusKyra Jay for xoNecoleTAURUS
December is about trusting your intuition, Taurus. You have a lot on your mind this month, and it’s best to delegate, communicate, and allow yourself some relief by opening up to someone and not feeling like you have to hold everything in. As we begin the month, we have a Supermoon in Gemini happening in your house of income, and the plans and projects you have been building here come to fruition for you now. This is the time to gain clarity on your financial world and to take a look at what spending habits you want to let go of here as well.
With Venus in your 8th house of shared resources for most of the month, you are doing a cleanse on your commitments, partnerships, and business ventures. You are taking a look at what you want to dedicate yourself to in the future, and what commitments you may need to let go of now in order to be in the space you truly want to be, both financially and within some of your relationship dynamics. Before we end the month, we have a New Moon in this same area of your chart, and it’s time to look at the opportunities that are presenting themselves and to trust your internal guidance system to lead you forward.
GeminiKyra Jay for xoNecoleGEMINI
You are moving forward fearlessly this month, Gemini. December is your month of love, passion, and dignity, and you are owning the light that you shine. We begin the month with the last Supermoon of the year, happening in your sign, and you are stepping up to the plate. You are showing up, owning how much you have grown this year, and allowing yourself to heal while also acknowledging that you have done your best and you deserve to have fun in the midst of the changes you are creating.
Mercury, your ruling planet, is officially out of retrograde, and you can use this energy to the fullest potential now. With Mercury in your 7th house of love, it’s time to speak from the heart and to talk about the things that matter and that are inspiring you right now to your loved ones. You never know what kind of epiphanies you may have when you open up the conversation to others. Before the month ends, you have a New Moon in this same love area of your chart, and this New Moon is all about manifesting romance, commitment, and abundance in your world.
CancerKyra Jay for xoNecoleCANCER
December is an opening for more love, more joy, and more freedom in your life, Cancer. You have come to a place where you hold so much gratitude in your heart for where you are today and where your heart is shining, and things come together for you with more ease right now. With the Sun in your 6th house of health, work, and daily routines for most of the month, you are getting your ducks in a row while also putting more energy and effort into taking care of yourself, your priorities, and your well-being. This month surprises you in many ways, and it’s because you are showing up.
Mars and Venus both move into your house of love, relationships, marriage, and abundance this month, and you are making strides in your love life. You have both of these opposing forces on your side and are being recognized for the love you are while also receiving the love you want. This month, overall, is about focusing more on the positives in your world and letting your heart have its joy. Before December comes to an end, there is a New Moon in Sagittarius, and this is the perfect opportunity to create the plans you want to see through next year, especially when it comes to your work life, colleagues, business ventures, and health.
LeoKyra Jay for xoNecoleLEO
The scales of karma are balancing, and they are balancing in your favor this month, Leo. December is your month of truth, and of seeing it clearly in your world. The Sun is in your house of romance, pleasure, and happiness for most of the month, and it’s time to relax, be in the present moment, and allow what is meant to be, to be. With a Supermoon in your 11th house of manifestation as December begins, this is a powerful month for seeing your dreams come to fruition, and for feeling like the intentions you have set this year are finally here for you now.
Mars also moves into your 6th house mid-month, and this is the perfect energy to have to move into the new year. You have extra energy at your disposal right now and are feeling fearless with what is possible for you and your daily routine. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in a fellow fire sign, Sagittarius, and this is a breakthrough moment for you and your heart. December, overall, wants to show you how loved and supported you are and will be doing so in magical, unexpected, and concrete ways.
VirgoKyra Jay for xoNecoleVIRGO
December is a month of victory, Virgo. You are showing up and experiencing some new successes in your world that move you forward on your path in life. With a Supermoon in your 10th house of career as we begin the month, the effort and intentions you have made this year come into full bloom, and you are being recognized for who you are and the good work you have done. This month is all about showing up and allowing yourself to be seen and loved, knowing that you deserve the support and opportunities you are receiving.
Mars moves into Capricorn on December 15, which brings the passion and excitement into your love life, hobbies, and little pleasures in life that light you up. You want to have fun this month and are going to be walking into the new year with this fearless, happy, and spontaneous energy within you. Before the month ends, Venus also enters Capricorn, and in this same area of your chart, you have a lot to look forward to and believe in right now. Overall, December wants you to be happy and will be doing everything possible to make that happen for you. This is your month to shine, Virgo.
LibraKyra Jay for xoNecoleLIBRA
December is a month of opportunity for you, Libra. New doors open, and you are financially making breakthroughs this month because of it. December begins with a Supermoon in your 9th house, and you are getting a clearer view of where you have been making strides in your life and how it has all brought you here to this present moment of freedom. This month is showing you what happens when you are fearless with your purpose and when you believe in yourself and what you are worthy of.
Moving further into December, Mars moves into your 4th house of home and family mid-month, and you are closing out the year in your safe spaces. You are spending more time with your loved ones and taking the time to quiet your mind and listen to what your heart has been telling you. Before the month ends, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, happening in an area of your life that deals with communication. This is a great time for getting the answers you have been looking for and for feeling more clear-headed and confident about the decisions you are making as you move into the new year.
ScorpioKyra Jay for xoNecoleSCORPIO
Patience is a virtue this month, Scorpio. December is all about remaining patient and vigilant with what you are creating in your world, and knowing that the universe has your back. It’s time to be reminded of the power of hope, and this month is an opening to greater clarity in your life. There is a lot of energy in your financial zones right now, and this is providing you with new opportunities and new insight; however, the speed at which things come about for you may feel daunting. Keep your head up and eyes focused on what you want and know that you are more than worthy of receiving it.
With Mercury in your 2nd house of income this month, December is a good time to plant new seeds and to think about where you want to be financially a month from now or even a year. This month is asking you to think bigger and to think more long-term so that you can set the appropriate plans into motion now. We also have a New Moon in your house of income before the month ends, and this is when you will see more of your dreams come to fruition in this area of your life, and have more opportunities to build. Overall, December will be teaching you a lot, Scorpio.
SagittariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleSAGITTARIUS
Sagittarius Season is here, and there is a lot in store for you this month, Sag. December is all about what you are dedicating yourself to. It’s about setting your intentions and putting the work in to back up your dreams, and about getting things in order so that when the new beginnings come, you are ready for them. The Sun and Venus are in your sign for most of this month, and there are a lot of eyes on you right now. You have the potential to create a new beginning for yourself, and it’s time to invest in yourself, your love life, and your dreams.
Mercury moves into Sagittarius on December 11, and this is giving you another opportunity to see through some of the plans that you had initiated in November. Mercury was retrograde in your sign last month, and there may have been some disruptions to your vision and plans for the future, and now this energy is turning around for you. Before the month ends, we also have a New Moon in Sagittarius, and you are walking through new doors fearlessly. You are catching others by surprise by your growth this month, and you are thinking a lot about your purpose, future, and plans for the new year.
CapricornKyra Jay for xoNecoleCAPRICORN
December is all about the vision, Capricorn. You are moving through a lot of changes and transformations this month, yet they are giving you a chance at a new beginning in the process. You are focused more on the future and what goals you want to manifest for yourself right now, and are ready to let go of what hasn’t been working for you. With the Sun in your 12th house of closure for most of December, this is your time for healing, but remember, healing doesn’t have to be isolating or boring; you can thrive while you renew, and you are this month.
Mid-month, the excitement picks up for you, and you are feeling more energized than you have in a while. Mars moves into Capricorn until the end of January 2026, and you are being proactive with your goals, intentions, and passions. You are a force to be reckoned with this month, and you are making things happen for yourself with confidence. Capricorn Season officially begins on December 21 this year, and this is definitely speeding up your healing process. You are breaking free from what was, and with Venus also moving into Capricorn before the month ends, you are leaving this year in high spirits and with love opening a new door for you.
AquariusKyra Jay for xoNecoleAQUARIUS
December is all about community, creativity, and manifestation, Aquarius. This is the month to work together with others to help bring your dreams to life. You are in a space of inspiration, empowerment, and beauty, and are creating more of this energy around you and in your world. Look out for what support comes your way this month and know that you don’t have to do everything alone to succeed. With the Sun in your 11th house of manifestation and friendship, your intentions are coming to fruition, and it’s time to celebrate with the people you love and to own how far you have come this year.
On December 19, we have a New Moon in Sagittarius, lighting up your life in all of the best ways possible. This is your New Moon of freedom, victory, and magic, and you are seeing new beginnings appear that you were once just hoping for. Before the month comes to an end, Venus moves into your 12th house of closure, and after an active and successful month, you are ready to relax, heal, and give your heart some of the attention it has been asking for. You are moving into the new year with the need to release and renew what hasn’t been working in your relationships, and you are finally ready to.
PiscesKyra Jay for xoNecolePISCES
December is a big month for you, Pisces. You are making some huge accomplishments this month, and are feeling like everything you have been through this year has been worth it for these moments that are coming to fruition for you now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career and reputation for most of the month, and this is where a lot of your focus is right now. You are claiming your successes and putting yourself out there in ways that not only serve you, but that inspire others as well.
Neptune officially goes direct on December 10, after being retrograde in your sign since July, and you are finally seeing things a little more clearly. You are feeling renewed inspiration and passion in your life, and your intuition is your strongest asset right now. Before December comes to an end, we also have a New Moon in your 10th house of career, and what happens now not only changes things for you in the present, but it also opens new doors and what is possible for you in the new year as well. Overall, you are on top of your game this month and are owning the joy and empowerment you feel.
Featured image by Kyra Jay for xoNecole
Oh, but there are plenty of people whose egos have them thinking that they can read someone else’s mind. Then there are others who have fantasies, which create unrealistic expectations that others in their lives actually should read their mind. And you know what — both of these things can cause unnecessary stress, drama, and trauma, if folks aren’t careful.
And that’s why I think it’s important that we unpack this a bit more. Because if you’re someone who thinks that if another person truly cares for you, they should be able to read your mind, it’s time to let that ridiculous yet semi-popular notion absolutely and completely go.
Here’s why.
It’s Scientifically Impossible for Someone to Read Your Mind
There are a couple of reasons why I am starting this off with R&B singer Avant. For one thing, I don’t think that he gets nearly enough flowers and secondly, clearly, this is a more-than-fitting song for today’s topic, wouldn’t you say? Because, lawd, there really is something that makes some of us feel all warm ‘n fuzzy about the mere thought of a man telling us that he is so in tuned with us that he can basically read our mind.
Hmph. Problem with that is, as I said in the intro, it is scientifically impossible (for us and for AI to do, praise the Lord!). And yet the fact that so many individuals think that they defy scientific data and research is oftentimes why there are so many breakdowns in communication — because if you run on assumption (that you can read someone’s mind) without clarification and confirmation, you can create issues that didn’t exist before you decided to fall for your own mind-reading theories.
Now to be fair, while science is still trying to figure out why we can’t read minds, what is sure is that we do have the capability to perceive the thoughts and actions of others if we’re willing to pay really close attention. However, do keep in mind that reading and perceiving are different. Reading? It’s about being able "to apprehend or interpret the meaning of" and "to anticipate, expect, or calculate by observation." Perceiving? It’s all about “to become aware of, know, or identify by means of the senses” and “to recognize, discern, envision, or understand.”
And already, do you see the differences? So much certainty comes with reading while perceiving is about humbling oneself (bookmark that) to not try to know everything but instead to try and understand what is transpiring. And since no one person (or their mind) is ever truly static, that is a huge part of the reason why believing that you can read someone’s mind — no matter how close you may be to them — is futile. You can change your mind on a dime. Others can do the same. Learning to perceive what is going on instead of assuming that you can “read” folks is far more beneficial.
Besides, you might be surprised by a particular demo who thinks that if you are truly who they need you to be, you will read their minds — and boy, once you know who they are, that may cure you of the whole “read your mind” ish…quick, fast and in a hurry.
The Expectation Is Oftentimes Rooted in Egomania
GiphyWhile doing a bit of research on this topic, I thought it was interesting that a particular type of person kept coming up. Can you guess which one? A NARCISSIST. What I kept noticing is a telling sign of a narcissistic individual is they expect others to read their mind.
I must admit that I was caught off guard by that at first because narcissists and their damn egos are so out of control (bookmark that) that it would seem like they would be more focused on acting like they know the thoughts of other people. Here’s the thing, though — the reason why narcissists want others to read their mind is because they want you to do things like guess what they want and need before they ask — and they want that to happen because they believe that they are so damn special that you should put in the extra blood, sweat and tears to figure it all out. Hmph. Now that tracks.
Another reason why narcissists want you to be able to read their mind is so they can manipulate and deflect. Meaning, if you say and do things based on what you thought they wanted you to, should everything crash and burn, they can dodge accountability and blame you for it. Hmm, does reading someone’s mind seem romantic and beautiful now? SMDH.
And again, all of this is tied to ego because, at the end of the day, mind-reading is a form of control and narcissists are definitely very controlling people. And honestly, mind-reading is as well because why do you even want to know someone’s private thoughts before they share them and, at the same time, why would you want someone to have that kind of power in your life either? “Eww” is what immediately comes to my mind. “Yuck” is what follows.
So, why is it that so many people think that it’s a good thing to have someone read their mind — I mean, the ones who don’t show narcissistic tendencies, that is? Good question.
5 Reasons Why Some People Wish Someone Would/Could Read Their Mind
GiphyOkay, so ego and pridefulness aside, what would be some other reasons why people think that it’s such a wonderful thing if someone who they are in some sort of intimate relationship with can read their mind.
1. They are caught up in Disney and rom-coms. One day, I am going to do an article on all of the ways that Disney and rom-coms have destroyed the reality of relationships. For now, I’ll just say that the scripted tales of both have caused a lot of people to think that if someone loves them, they should be able to read their mind. Nooo…if someone loves you, they should care to know what is on your mind. And that brings me to the second point.
2. They aren’t as good at communicating as they think. Are you a good communicator? One way to know if you are is you’re able to clearly articulate your wants and needs — because really, if you are able to do that, why should anyone even need to read your mind? Feel me? Let’s move on.
3. They want someone else to work harder at their relationships than they do. I say it in my sessions often — it’s beyond crazy to think that someone should work harder at figuring out what your wants, needs and expectations are than you are willing to express them. Hmph. It makes me think of a friend of mine who says that “should” is a dangerous word. What she means by that is saying that someone should do or not do something simply because YOU THINK that’s how it “should” go is a surefire way to stay disappointed and even be disillusioned. No, your man shouldn’t just know what you want every year for your birthday. Did you state it? If not, why aren’t you playing fair? Who has time for all of the guessing games and then getting penalized if they guess wrong? Stop it.
4. They think it’s the sign of a healthy relationship (it isn’t). Anyone who knows me knows that I am always and forever going to be Team Healthy over Team Happy and my reason why never changes. Only children expect to live in a world where they are happy all of the time — and yes, there are a lot of childish people out here. People who want their mind read? They tend to live in happy land. Meanwhile, a healthy relationship knows that clear communication, mutual respect, keen listening, patience and understanding that humans make mistakes are foundational to its success.
5. They are lazy. And yes y’all, some people want others to read their mind because they are lazy and it really is just as simple as that. Thing is, while they are being passive aggressive, dropping hints or giving the silent treatment so that you can figure out whatever it is that they…want you to figure out, that tends to take more effort than simply speaking up. Ridiculous, chile.
How to Let the Myth Go
GiphyGee, after reading all of this, suddenly reading minds just seems like a lot of silliness with a sprinkle of drama and potential trauma, doesn’t it? And it’s all because some people choose to treat something that is a myth like it’s a bona fide fact. SMDH.
And what if you happen to be one of those individuals? How do you break free? COMMUNICATE. Openly, clearly and maturely share what’s on your mind and heart because, the true tell of a solid relationship isn’t that someone can read your mind; it’s that they can retain what you’ve already stated.
Less reading. More perceiving. That’s the secret sauce.
And when you accept this for what it is, you will realize that it’s far better for you, your partner and your relationship to stop expecting the impossible and to accept what is actual: that learning your partner, as they strive to do the same thing with you, is better than you both assuming that you know what…maybe you do, maybe you don’t.
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Author Frank Sonnenberg once said, “People can’t hear what you don’t say. Thinking isn’t communicating” — and I think this is a perfect place to bring all of this to a close.
Find the kind of relationship(s) where intention is so strong that mind-reading isn’t even desired.
At the end of the day, it really is as simple as that.
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