

As we know, being a Black girl in luxury is more than just putting our disposable income toward material goods. It’s about spoiling ourselves with the simple luxuries that make our lives more easeful and convenient. While the movement has since evolved from being a posterboard for expensive trips and Birkin bags, the need to reclaim the space in a more intentional way has led it back to what truly matters: practical comfort.
With all the challenges that Black women face on a day-to-day basis, sometimes we need a little care to absolve any angst. As the meaning behind Black Girls in Luxury (BGL) continues to evolve, one thing that will always remain true is that when we take care of ourselves, we’re not only better off for ourselves but all the spaces and people that require our attention and presence are better off for it too.
Simple Luxuries: 10 Ways To Add Luxury To Your Everyday Life
That is why when we’re talking about BGL today, we're not just referring to expensive possessions but also to a lifestyle that prioritizes comfort, ease, and personal development. And if you’ve been looking for ways to give your daily life an upgrade in the latter mentions, we’ve provided a list of luxury items and lifestyle additions that you won’t want to live without.
1.Try Monthly Housekeeping
Despite what the world tried to convince you of, you’re only one person. And sometimes, cleaning, laundry, and decluttering can slip through the cracks. That’s why investing in housekeeping can be the simple luxury your life deserves.
2.Upgrade To Luxury Sheets
Sleep is by far the most important part of our day, so why not turn your bedroom into a sanctuary? These silky-soft sateen weave duvet covers by ettitude are made to do just that.
3.Post-Shower Towel Warmer
Imagine stepping out of the shower and being embraced by the soothing warmth of your drying towels. The world is cold enough; your shower time shouldn’t be.
4.Splurge on Hand Cream
We know it’s just lotion, but there’s something about knowing that your dry skin moments won’t last too long after smearing a lavish cream on your hands. This Nourishing and Protective Shea Butter Hand Cream from L'Occitane has been all the rage online, and we’re sure your skin will thank you.
5.Shop In-Season at The Famer’s Market
When the seasons change, so does our access to fresh in-season veggies and fruits. But taking your Sunday morning trips to the farmer’s market will give you a first-hand look at what produce to add to your basket for the freshest options available.
6.Lock in On A Personal Trainer
Sometimes self-motivation to get to the gym just isn’t enough, but a personal trainer can be the extra push you need to meet your fitness goals. Not only can you rely on your trainer to create a workout plan that’s just for you, they can support you with your nutrition and root for you along the way.
7.Find Your Signature Scent
Don’t be fooled by #purfumtok. Not every fragrance is one-skin-fits-all. That’s why finding the scent that works best for you is not only an exciting moment of self-discovery but will be why you stand out in a crowd. Phlur has tons of scents to choose from and give their Discovery Set a try to see which fits you best.
8.Make a Ritual Out of Your Skincare Routine
Sometimes, removing our makeup at night can feel like a chore, but why not turn it into a moment of slow, soothing me-time? Spend a full minute washing the day away with your favorite cleanser, douse your face in the best toner and moisturizer, do a facial steamer, and even add a red light therapy session for an extra touch.
9.Get Mood Lighting
Nothing adds more warmth to your place than mood lighting. If you’re looking to give your harsh overhead lights a break, adding a lamp to a corner or nightstand can take your space’s ambiance to the next level.
10.Simply Ask for Help
If there’s one thing that many of us hyper-independent ladies can do better at, it’s asking for the help we need when we need it.
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Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Does hearing the phrase, “you’re such a good girl,” during sex turn you on? If so, you might have a “praise kink.” When I hear the term praise kink, the church girl in me wants to immediately play “The Lady, Her Lover and Lord” while riding reverse cowgirl. But that’s not what is meant by the term praise kink.
A “praise kink” is a sexual fetish that focuses on overt praise, exaggerated compliments, and an outpouring of verbal affection.
What Is a Praise Kink?
The concept of praise kinks isn't new, but thanks to TikTok, a lot of people are now realizing they might identify as praise kinksters. Currently, the hashtag #praisek1nk is trending with 568.9 million views, with tons of creators posting about their love for compliments and words of affirmation during sex. I, too, love a good compliment during sex. I once had a lover sing my praises about how good I was at a certain bedroom activity. His affirmations gave me WAP, but does that categorize me as having a praise kink?
How To Know if You Have a Praise Kink
Just because you love receiving praise doesn’t mean you have a praise kink. Someone with a praise kink experiences an intense level of sexual excitement from being praised or verbally affirmed by their partner during sex. You might have a praise kink if hearing your partner tell you how pretty you are makes you cum or if the thing that makes sex go from good to great is hearing your partner's thoughts about how good you are at giving head. And if, during solo play, the thing that gets you all hot and bothered is recalling the times your partner called you a good girl, it’s probably a praise kink.
Generally, a kink is a sexual activity that is needed for someone to enjoy sex. When it comes specifically to praise kinks, if you need reassurance from your partner that you're sexy, or good in bed in order to orgasm, you have a praise kink.
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Examples of Praise Kink Phrases To Try With Your Partner
If you’re new to the term and looking to explore, you probably have questions about what phrases to use. It may take a lot of communication and some trial and error to figure out what phrases work best for you and your partner. Ultimately, the best phrases to use vary from person to person and are based on what sex acts you and your partner enjoy, or what parts of their body they like complimented.
To get you started, here are some generic praise kink examples to try out with your partner:
Praise Kink Examples:
- You're such a good girl/boy.
- You're so good at [insert skill].
- You look so hot when you [insert activity].
- Your [insert body part] is irresistible.
- You taste so good. I can't get enough of you.
- You just have the perfect [body part].
- Just like that… you’re doing so good.
- Who taught you how to be so good at [something?]
While many examples of praise kink involve specific verbal affirmations, praise can also come in the form of brief words or phrases like “yes,” “keep going,” or simply a moan. No matter what type you prefer, praise kink is all about finding what feels good and exciting, and turns you and your partner on the most.
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Originally published on November 4, 2022