

One scroll on Instagram or a bad hair day can make our self-confidence take a nosedive.
It happens more than we would like it to, but we all have moments when we don't feel like ourselves. Yes, we're the first ones to talk about self-love, but a lack of self-confidence can be just one of the fun (insert sarcasm here) things about being a woman. We all have our Monica moments where it's just one of them days and we just want to be all alone.
The key though, is to not stay down. Here are a few ideas to get your mojo back when your confidence is slipping.
Say Something…
While it might seem like this method is a little overrated, they really do help. And they never get old. I've had times where I was really coming down on myself from my image to my career, but in those moments, we can be our worst critic or our number one cheerleader. The difference is what we say about ourselves. Who cares what anyone else thinks? When you speak out of your mouth that you're amazing, powerful, and a bad mama jama, you'll start to feel the shero within you rise once again. And the best part is that it might take a lot of energy in those moments where it's tempting to have a pity party, but those seemingly little words can make a major difference. You'll be milly rocking in the mirror again before you know it.
Retail Therapy
If you're as frugal as I am, this one might be a difficult one. But it's definitely worth it. I'm not saying you have to splurge on something major. It can be as small as a pair of shoes you've been eyeing or a jacket. Don't get me wrong, I don't think the foundation of our confidence should be the clothes we wear. BUT I'm also a strong believer that when we look our best, we feel good about ourselves, and can at times be even more productive. Besides, it can even be something like purchasing the LLC for your business; anything that will help you feel like you're the amazing woman that you truly are. Whatever you choose, just know that you deserve a good spoiling every once in a while.
Music Is The Move
Okay, so… This might sound really crazy (or not), but it's no secret that music can determine our entire mood. I feel like we all have that one song from Rihanna to Cardi B to Kirk Franklin that helps boost how we feel about ourselves. Whatever song you have, blast it in the car while you sing along or belt it out in the shower and get ready to conquer whatever funk you might be in at the time. We all know that music can create memories, good or bad ones. Something about it has the power to uplift us in a unique way. So use it to your advantage and make new memories with songs that help you get back to feeling the superwoman you really are.
Pamper Yourself
Have you ever noticed what a day at the spa can do for your inner and outer self? Wonders, sis… wonders. Again, you don't have to break the bank. I'm basically the president of all things balling on a budget. From a manicure less than $30 to a pedicure or even a staycation at home for the free-free with your favorite meal, there are certainly ways to pamper yourself to help you get back your mojo. If you still need more suggestions, consider taking a nice, warm bath, or just asking our significant other to rub your feet. Sometimes it's the little things that make a huge difference. Ultimately, you're important enough to take time and not only woosah but also get pampered to help level up your confidence.
Show Off Your Pearly Whites
I always remember reading that it takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 muscles to smile. Still, when we want to be in our own mood and just have a moment, it might seem like spreading our mouth into a smile will take all of our energy; especially if we're forced to interact with the wrong person at the wrong time. Still, it's turning that frown upside down that will help us get our mojo back. Even when we don't feel like it, it can at least put us in a better mood when we're intentional about being happy and getting our confidence on track.
Think Happy Thoughts
This one might not be as tangible, but it's arguably the most powerful. Most of the time (if not all), our insecurity starts within our minds. When you find yourself comparing yourself to someone else or trying to convince yourself that you're not good enough to live the life of your dreams, shut down those thoughts with positive ones. It's been said that you can't fight fire with fire, so the solution might be to say an affirmation out loud or listen to something positive (Sarah Jakes Roberts is always a win for me) that will help you get your bounce back. You can also try reading an inspiring book, or like the point above, listen to music that will encourage you to tap into your best self. 'Cause you're the bomb, sis.
Featured image via GIFs
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Charmaine Patterson is a journalist, lifestyle blogger, and a lover of all things pop culture. While she has much experience in covering top entertainment news stories, she aims to share her everyday life experiences, old and new, with other women who can relate, laugh, and love along with her. Follow Char on Twitter @charjpatterson, Instagram @charpatterson, and keep up with her journey at CharJPatterson.com .
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Having a morning routine is a crucial aspect of adulting, often setting the foundation for the rest of the day. Slow mornings, especially have gained popularity for its mindful approach to starting the day versus waking up frantic and in a rush. It appears our beloved creative, Issa Rae, is team slow mornings and shared her morning routine with It Takes a Village podcast.
The Insecure creator revealed that she was a part of the 4 AM club. After waking up, she dedicates an hour or hour and a half to exercise. Next, she prepares coffee and engages in what she calls her version of meditation.
"Coffee listening to news, sitting in the dark on the couch, sometimes I'll light a candle and sometimes journaling," she said. Waking up early and adopting a slow morning routine offer numerous benefits. Below, we delve into some of these advantages and provide guidance on how to incorporate them into your daily routine.
Waking Up Early
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Waking up at 4 AM might be too early for some, but waking up early overall has many benefits. As per Healthline, some of these advantages include improved sleep quality, increased energy levels, better skin, and the most evident benefit, accomplishing more tasks. If you begin work at 8 AM, consider waking up at 5 or 6 AM to dedicate time to your mental well-being before diving into the day's demands.
Exercising
There’s no better way to boost endorphins than through exercise. Starting your day with exercise can have a positive impact on your mood, which can, in turn, influence the rest of your day.
One advantage of going to the gym early is fewer people, so you don't have to wait to use your favorite machine. If you prefer at-home workouts, you can turn on a 30 minute workout video from a fitness trainer on YouTube or finally use the walking pad that's been stashed away in the corner.
Meditation
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Meditating involves sitting in silence (unless you're listening to a guided meditation) and being one with yourself. While Issa mentioned enjoying her meditation with coffee and a candle, you can create your own peaceful atmosphere. This could involve lighting sage, sitting with crystals, or using essential oils.
Regardless of the time you have, whether it’s 30 minutes or just five, incorporating meditation into your morning routine can help you begin your day with a tranquil mindset.
Journaling
Journaling can be done anytime of the day, but starting your day with it in the morning can provide clarity. There are several types of journaling that can be beneficial morning practices.
Dream journaling involves writing about your dreams the night before to gain transparency about them. Gratitude journaling involves writing about things you’re grateful for, while mindful journaling allows you to express your thoughts and feelings.
All of these practices can contribute to a successful day. By consistently practicing them, you may notice positive changes in your attitude and overall well-being.
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Feature image by by Amy Sussman/Getty Images