5 Lessons Michelle Buteau’s 'Survival Of The Thickest' Netflix Series Taught Me
Michelle Buteau’s comedy series Survival of Thickest recently premiered on Netflix. And as a plus-size woman in her thirties, seeing a plus-size character who wasn’t the sidekick was extremely refreshing. Yes, the Plus community has had a few main characters (i.e., Miss Piggy – fat and fabulous). But at what cost? Like other plus-size characters, Miss Piggy was constantly ridiculed for her size.
Historically, plus-size female characters were pigeonholed into comedic relief roles or underwent a transformation to be deemed “attractive.” Such portrayals perpetuate the damaging message that one's value or beauty is tied to their body size. And because I didn’t have the representation, I wanted on-screen then, I am so happy to see the shift in how plus-size characters are portrayed now. Representation matters immensely. It shapes perceptions, builds confidence, and fosters acceptance. Everyone deserves to see diverse bodies depicted as confident, beautiful, and worthy of love.
Buteau refers to her series as a “love letter to fatty baddies” during an interview with NPR, and I couldn’t agree more. In addition to being an attention-grabbing and funny series, Buteau was meticulous in creating the on-screen lead – Mavis Beaumont. She was fun-loving, empowering, and raw. Mavis stood in who she was, not just as a woman but as a plus-size baddie. She never settled, which once again…thank you! This series taught me five lessons – some new and some I just needed a friendly reminder of.
Loving your plus-size body isn’t WEIRD (or even wrong)
This was one lesson I always knew, but seeing a TV series reaffirm it makes it that much more important. Something about seeing fat positivity seems to irk some people’s spirits. It doesn’t matter if you’re a size ten or size twenty-two; you deserve to love the skin you are in. You deserve to feel comfortable, loved, and seen. And no one has the right to take offense to you loving every inch and roll of your body. Mavis did a fantastic job showcasing this lesson throughout the season.
But unfortunately, there are still so many who disagree. For instance, plus-size beauty and fashion influencer Stella Williams is often criticized for her confidence in wearing various clothing – side cut-out swimsuits, crop tops, etc. She is constantly criticized for not “minimizing her stomach” no matter how cute the outfit is, but why should she? Why is it wrong that a plus-size woman loves her body and has no issues hiding it? Williams continuously breaks the barriers of unrealistic beauty norms and refuses to be shut out.
Plus-size characters are MORE than a joke
Survival of the Thickest proved that writers can create a character without making that individual a stereotype. A fat character on screen doesn’t have to be glutinous, sloppy, or joking about their bodies. And let’s be honest; fat jokes are unoriginal. Fat jokes have plagued TV shows and films for years. One example is the popular cult classic Next Friday, where Day-Day (Mike Epps) used food to influence Baby D (played by rapper The Lady of Rage) to stop chasing after him. Those types of jokes imply that plus-size people have an unhealthy relationship with food, an obsession.
Plus-size people can be a MAIN CHARACTER
This lesson applies to real-life and on-screen. Your size doesn’t mean you can’t be the main character ever. Nowadays, I see plus-size people who own who they are, but this lesson is for those who never saw a plus-size main character or didn’t feel they could be the main character in their own lives.
I grew up in an era where plus-size representation was SCARCE. Honestly non-existent. Unless it was coming from close to home, you might’ve not experienced being told you were beautiful without it was a backhanded comment – “Pretty for a big girl” or “You would be prettier if you lost weight.” Therefore, you had to have tough skin on the playground and in the world. And it would be the same sentiment in movies and books. But do not dim your light because of how others believe you should be or look.
Be Authentically YOU
One thing I respected about Mavis was that she was authentically herself. People change to conform to spaces that weren’t meant for them. And I’ve always said I’m too big to be placed in a box, personality included. Plus, life is too short not to be who you are and meant to be. Every space – friends/circles, environments, etc. – aren’t meant for you, and that’s OK.
A great example: Survival of the Thickest co-creator, executive producer and star Michelle Buteau. She has consistently reinforced that one's power comes from being authentic to oneself. By sharing her experiences as a plus-size woman in the entertainment industry, Buteau demonstrates the importance of being genuine in a world that often promotes idealized images of women. This lesson teaches us to empower ourselves and inspire others by honoring and showcasing our authentic selves.
Plus-size bodies ARE desirable
Like number one, this was a lesson I learned early, but once again, Mavis reaffirmed it throughout the season. I enjoyed that Mavis found love without feeling the need to change. One movie you witness this in is the 2006 rom-com Phat Girlz. The main character Jazmin, played by Mo’Nique, couldn’t believe Dr. Tunde was initially interested in her or was faithful, so much so that Jazmin questioned him at one point for not trying to sleep with her. I remember being frustrated that the main character only felt desirable through a level of sexual attraction.
Another time we see this is in the early 2000s series Degrassi. I wanted so much more for Terri’s character. She was plus-size and one of the prettiest girls on the show, but her character was made to be insecure. And I understand this was a teen series; therefore, they were dealing with underage drinking, insecurities, and love, but she deserved a more fleshed-out story.
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Feature image by Roy Rochlin/Getty Images for Netflix
Adrian Marcel On Purpose, Sacrifice, And The 'Signs Of Life'
In this week's episode of xoMAN, host Kiara Walker talked with R&B artist Adrian Marcel, who opened up, full of heart and authenticity, about his personal evolution. He discussed his days transitioning from a young Bay Area singer on the come-up to becoming a grounded husband and father of four.
With honesty and introspection, Marcel reflected on how life, love, and loss have shaped the man he is today.
On ‘Life’s Subtle Signals’
Much of the conversation centered around purpose, sacrifice, and listening to life’s subtle signals. “I think that you really have to pay attention to the signs of life,” Marcel said. “Because as much as we need to make money, we are not necessarily on this Earth for that sole purpose, you know what I mean?” While he acknowledged his ambitions, adding, “that is not me saying at all I’m not trying to ball out,” he emphasized that fulfillment goes deeper.
“We are here to be happy. We are here [to] fulfill a purpose that we are put on here for.”
On Passion vs. Survival
Adrian spoke candidly about the tension between passion and survival, describing how hardship can sometimes point us away from misaligned paths. “If you find it’s constantly hurting you… that’s telling you something. That’s telling you that you’re going outside of your purpose.”
Marcel’s path hasn’t been without detours. A promising athlete in his youth, he recalled, “Early on in my career, I was still doing sports… I was good… I had a scholarship.” An injury changed everything. “My femur broke. Hence why I always say, you know, I’m gonna keep you hip like a femur.” After the injury, he pivoted to explore other careers, including teaching and corporate jobs.
“It just did not get me—even with any success that happened in anything—those times, back then, I was so unhappy. And you know, to a different degree. Like not just like, ‘I really want to be a singer so that’s why I’m unhappy.’ Nah, it was like, it was not fulfilling me in any form or fashion.”
On Connection Between Pursuing Music & Fatherhood
He recalled performing old-school songs at age 12 to impress girls, then his father challenged him: “You can lie to these girls all you want, but you're really just lying to yourself. You ain't growing.” That push led him to the piano—and eventually, to his truth. “Music is my love,” Marcel affirmed. “I wouldn’t be a happy husband if I was here trying to do anything else just to appease her [his wife].”
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Featured image by xoNecole/YouTube
Colman Domingo’s Career Advice Is A Reminder That Our Words Shape Our Reality
When it comes to life, we are always here for a good reminder to shift our mindsets, and Colman Domingo just gave us one we didn't know we needed.
In a resurfaced clip from an appearance at NewFest shared as a repost via Micheaux Film Festival, the Emmy award winner dropped a gem on how he has navigated his decades-spanning career in Hollywood. The gem in question? Well, Colman has never identified with "struggle" in his career. Let that sit.
Colman Domingo On Not Claiming Struggle
"I’ve never said that this career was tough. I’ve never said it was difficult. I’ve never said it was hard," Colman said. "Other people would say that—‘oh, you're in a very difficult industry. It's very hard to get work and book work.’ I’m like, I’ve never believed that."
Instead of allowing himself to be defined by other people's projections about their perceptions of what the industry is or was, Colman dared to believe differently even if his reality was playing catch up with his dreams:
"Like Maya Angelou said words are things. And if you believe that, then that's actually what it is. Actually I've just never believed it. Someone told me some years ago, they said, 'I remember you were, you're a struggling actor.' I'm like, 'I don't.'"
"I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living..."
He continued:
"Even when I was bartending and hustling and not having opportunities or anything, I never believed that I was struggling because I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living and creating and being curious."
Colman’s philosophy of attaching to living instead of struggle has blossomed into an enduring career. He first made his mark on stage in acclaimed Broadway productions before transitioning to the screen, where his star began to rise in the 2010s following his role as Victor Strand in Fear The Walking Dead. From there, his presence only grew, landing memorable supporting roles in If Beale Street Could Talk, Ma Rainey’s Black Bottom, and the hit series Euphoria.
In more recent years, Colman has stepped fully into the spotlight with standout leading performances in Rustin and Sing Sing, both of which earned him widespread critical acclaim and Academy Award nominations for Best Actor.
With all that said, Colman's advice is no doubt powerful, especially for those who are chasing their dreams, building something from the ground up, or have question marks about what's next in their careers. Words shape our realities, and how we speak about our journeys even in passing matters.
Words Create Our Reality & Colman Is Living Proof
"I tell young people that. To remember the words that you say about yourself and your career are true. So, I choose to make it full of light and love and it's interesting and every day I'm going to learn something new even if it looks like I don't have what I want but it's important to be in the moment... you really build on the moments moment to moment.
"And you're looking back at your career as I've been in it for what 33 years and you're like, 'Wow, that's what I've been doing.' And I've stayed strong to that so I think that is truly my advice."
Let this be your sign to give your path a reframe. When the path you're on feels uncertain, the journey is still unfolding. Like Colman said: "I wasn't attached to a struggle. I was attached to living."
That's a Black king right there.
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Featured image by Soul Brother/Soul B Photos/Shutterstock