
Whether you’re someone who happens to be big on making New Year’s resolutions or not, if there is one thing that I definitely think every single reader on our platform should commit to doing in 2022, it’s getting some sound sleep on a consistent basis. Between all of these variants of COVID that are creeping up, the emotional roller coaster rides that keep on coming politically, professionally and financially, compounded with the everyday stress that comes from, shoot, just being a human on planet earth, now, more than ever, sleep has to be treated like it always should have been — an absolutely essential thing to do. Not some of the time but every single day of our lives.
So, how about doing your health and well-being a solid by making the following 10 sleep-related promises to yourself? Without question, being well-rested is one of the surefire ways to handle all that will come your way. That’s pretty much a guarantee. Anyway, on to the promises.
1. “I Will Get No Less Than Six Hours Each Night”
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 1 in 3 of us do not get enough sleep. And how much should that be? Believe it or not, even as an adult, you should be getting somewhere between 7-9 hours, each and every night for the sake of “recharging” your system. If you don’t, it could eventually lead to things like mood swings; stress; low productivity; poor decision-making; weak immunity; weight gain; lack of balance; a low libido; a higher risk of heart disease and diabetes, and even shortened longevity.
Listen, I know that hectic work schedules, kids, and whatever else you’ve got going on can make being in bed for nine hours seem like a real stretch; that’s why I said “six” in the title. That said, if you’re currently out here getting any less than that, that’s not good and the older you get, the more you’re going to notice it. Again, sleep is not a luxury; it’s a priority. Go into this year making sure that you treat it as such. Everything about you absolutely depends on it. Straight up.
2. “I Will Not Eat or Drink Two Hours Before Bedtime”
If you’re someone who struggles with acid reflux, you can’t account for some of the pounds that you’ve been packing on and/or it drives you crazy that you have to keep getting up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom (especially since sometimes that can make falling back asleep seem damn near impossible), it could be because you are eating too close to bedtime. Consuming foods and drinks less than 2-3 hours before retiring for the night can cause your metabolism to slow down which can make it harder for you to digest your food (which can sometimes trigger heartburn).
Not only that but midnight snacking typically leads to eating foods that are full of sugar (which can keep you up). Plus, it’s pretty much a guarantee that drinking right before bed is going to result in you needing to empty your bladder at some point. So, if you want to sleep more soundly, stay out of the kitchen two hours before bedtime. If you don’t…prepare to deal with the consequences. Literally.
3. “I Will Also Be Intentional About What I Snack on After Dinner”
And what if you’re not prepared to stop snacking before bedtime? You’re grown, chile. Just make sure that you are more intentional about what you put into your mouth. Almonds are high in magnesium which can help to settle your nerves. Kiwi can boost your serotonin levels so that you’re able to fall asleep faster. Cheese and sunflower seeds both have tryptophan in them; this is a good thing because it’s an amino acid that can increase your melatonin levels which is a hormone that helps to regulate your sleeping patterns.
Sweet potatoes are dope because potassium, magnesium, and calcium can lower your blood pressure. Popcorn is a healthy carb that can help to produce more tryptophan in your system. Dark chocolate is loaded with magnesium (which can also keep your circadian rhythms in check). Pineapple is able to boost your melatonin levels too. And while you really should watch the drinking thing, if you must, tart cherry juice has a good amount of melatonin in it, oat milk contains tryptophan, and chamomile tea is great at relaxing you.
4. “I Will Create a Regular Sleep Schedule”
One definition of schedule is “a plan of procedure, usually written, for a proposed objective…”. When it comes to sleep if your “proposed objective” is to get all of the rest that your mind, body, and spirit require, you need to put a plan into action. This includes deciding what time you are going to retire every night, what your “wind down routine” will require and what time you want to wake up the following morning. For instance, if you want to turn in at 10 p.m. each night and get up at 6 a.m. (eight hours), you should give yourself 1-1 ½ hours to get ready.
This can include taking a shower or bath; reading a couple of chapters of your favorite book or listening to a podcast episode; doing some meditating and/or praying; listening to some soothing music; journaling; relaxing with an essential oil diffuser on; having sex (more on that in a bit) — whatever will de-stress you and relax you is ideal. Just keep in mind that the key to making a sleep schedule/routine work for you is that you do it, as consistently as possible, without fail, each and every night…until it becomes a natural habit.
5. “I Will Give Myself a Foot Massage at Least Three Times a Week”
It’s kinda crazy how many people ignore their feet when it comes to getting a good night’s rest. The reason why I say that is because a good foot massage can do everything from increasing blood circulation and easing pain to reducing anxiety and encouraging relaxation. The key to a successful foot massage at night is to apply an essential oil or even some CBD oil to (especially) your soles. The reason why is because there are thousands of pores on your feet (some say as much as 2,000) and they contain some of the largest pores on your entire body; this means that the oils that you put there will absorb into your system faster.
And just what kind of oils are best? Lavender will calm you. Ylang-ylang will slow down your heart rate. Bergamot reduces stress levels. Sandalwood will help to balance out your moods. And peppermint can reduce seasonal allergies so that you can rest more soundly. As far as CBD oil goes (something I’ve been using for my own feet for most of this year), it helps to relieve aches and pains and it works like a sedative which is always a good thing once you’re ready to catch some zzz’s.
For tips on how to give you (or your partner) a proper foot massage, click here and here.
6. “I Will NOT Have Deep Convos Prior to Bedtime”
A few years ago, Elite Daily published an article that said the best time for people to have deep conversations is during the evening hours. The logic is when you are more relaxed, you’re better at listening and communicating. While I understand the logic, my two cents are that “evening” should be no later than dinnertime. Yes, I am a huge fan of pillow talk between couples; still, I don’t think that should mean discussing bills, relationship stresses, or even sexual critiques. Although some people can compartmentalize these types of discussions to the point where they can have them, roll over and then sleep like a baby, most of us (especially people who are overthinkers) cannot.
Bottom line, when it comes to the really deep discussions that tend to take a lot out of you mentally, schedule times, preferably outside of the bedroom to have those. Inside of it, discuss things that create positive vibes and will make the two of you feel closer and safer. It can’t be said enough that a lot of interior decorators believe that bedrooms should ONLY be for sex and sleep; definitely not low-key business meetings or draining debates. Personally, I couldn’t agree more.
7. “I Will Not Use My Phone As a Way to Fall Asleep”
I’ve got a girlfriend who is a literal insomniac. She’s not really helping matters either because she is pretty much glued to her phone. She falls asleep looking at it and if she happens to get up in the middle of the night, she won’t go back to bed without peeking at the screen first. Yeah, that’s a real problem because not only does whatever intel she may see on her phone increase her chances of becoming preoccupied as her mind gets to racing but the blue light that comes from her phone screen can actually disrupt the melatonin production within her system.
I promise you that whatever is happening on your phone will be right there, waiting for you, come morning. So, unless you’ve got some folks within your home who are traveling or there’s a sick person who you are checking on and you want to leave the phone on in case of emergencies, there’s no need for your ringer to be on. Shoot, here’s a novel concept — how about turning it completely off until morning? (Close your mouth, it is indeed possible. LOL.)
8. “I Will Incorporate More ASMR”
If you’ve ever wondered what ASMR stands for, it’s Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response. And what the heck does that mean? Well, a nickname for ASMR that might make more sense is “brain massage.” Yep, when you watch or listen to an ASMR video, it literally massages your brain in a way that activates the production of hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins — all of which are beneficial to you getting a good night’s rest.
For the past couple of years, I’ve been sleeping to the sound of rain falling and it has only taken my quality of sleep to another level. So, even if it’s not in your budget to cop an ASMR machine, at least hop onto YouTube to listen to the rain, wind, fans, ocean waves, or some other nature sound that can calm you, drown out outside noise, and take your quality of sleep to an entirely new level. (Just go to YouTube and put ASMR and the sound you are looking for into the search field. A lot of them will run for 7-10 hours without any commercial breaks.)
9. “I Will Sleep Naked More Often”
For many years, I’ve slept without any panties on, just so that my vagina can “breathe” (check out “What Your Vagina Wishes You Would Do More Often”). But it’s only been the past few years or so that I’ve been sleeping completely naked and boy — I really wish I’d been doing it for all of my adult life! On this platform, we’re such a fan of it that an entire article has been devoted to why it’s such a smart thing to do (check out “Yes, Sleeping Naked Could Help Your Anxiety & Sleep Pattern”).
Some of the perks that aren’t mentioned in this piece include the fact that sleeping in the nude can put you in a better mood, boost your metabolism, help you to maintain healthy skin, improve infertility (for both men and women) and most definitely increase your chances of gettin’ a lil’ sumthin’ sumthin’ if you happen to have someone in the bed with you. When you sit and think about all of the ways that sleeping naked can benefit you, it’s kinda crazy that only roughly 29 percent of people do it with only around 17 percent who do it every night. Still, if there is ever a time when you should want to be the exception and not the rule, sleeping in your birthday suit should most definitely top the list.
10. “Sex Will Become More of a Constant at Nighttime”
If you’re currently practicing abstinence or there isn’t a “contender” in your life right now, I’ll just say that this is a promise that you should make to yourself whenever the time is right. For the rest of you, though, definitely check out “Why Couples Should Engage In ‘Midnight Sex’ More Often” and seriously consider taking it to heart. The reason why I say that is because, if there is one act that can relax your body, calm your senses and make you feel safe and sound all night long, it’s sex — sex right before going to sleep.
For men, it increases their prolactin levels which can make them super drowsy, and for us, after sex, our estrogen levels tend to get a boost which can result in our REM cycle enhancing which can definitely help us to sleep so much better. Hmph. Not like any of us should need another reason to get it in more often, but if more sleep is what you’re after, more sex can certainly help you out. Happy New Year, y’all!
Featured image by Getty Images
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Exclusive: Viral It Girl Kayla Nicole Is Reclaiming The Mic—And The Narrative
It’s nice to have a podcast when you’re constantly trending online. One week after setting timelines ablaze on Halloween, Kayla Nicole released an episode of her Dear Media pop culture podcast, The Pre-Game, where she took listeners behind the scenes of her viral costume.
The 34-year-old had been torn between dressing up as Beyoncé or Toni Braxton, she says in the episode. She couldn’t decide which version of Bey she’d be, though. Two days before the holiday, she locked in her choice, filming a short recreation of Braxton’s “He Wasn’t Man Enough for Me” music video that has since garnered nearly 6.5M views on TikTok.
Kayla Nicole says she wore a dress that was once worn by Braxton herself for the Halloween costume. “It’s not a secret Toni is more on the petite side. I’m obsessed with all 5’2” of her,” she tells xoNecole via email. “But I’m 5’10'' and not missing any meals, honey, so to my surprise, when I got the dress and it actually fit, I knew it was destiny.”
The episode was the perfect way for the multihyphenate to take control of her own narrative. By addressing the viral moment on her own platform, she was able to stir the conversation and keep the focus on her adoration for Braxton, an artist she says she grew up listening to and who still makes her most-played playlist every year. Elsewhere, she likely would’ve received questions about whether or not the costume was a subliminal aimed at her ex-boyfriend and his pop star fiancée. “I think that people will try to project their own narratives, right?” she said, hinting at this in the episode. “But, for me personally – I think it’s very important to say this in this moment – I’m not in the business of tearing other women down. I’m in the business of celebrating them.”
Kayla Nicole is among xoNecole’s It Girl 100 Class of 2025, powered by SheaMoisture, recognized in the Viral Voices category for her work in media and the trends she sets on our timelines, all while prioritizing her own mental and physical health. As she puts it: “Yes, I’m curating conversations on my podcast The Pre-Game, and cultivating community with my wellness brand Tribe Therepē.”
Despite being the frequent topic of conversation online, Kayla Nicole says she’s learning to take advantage of her growing social media platform without becoming consumed by it. “I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out,” she says.
On The Pre-Game, which launched earlier this year, she has positioned herself as listeners “homegirl.” “There’s definitely a delicate dance between being genuine and oversharing, and I’ve had to learn that the hard way. Now I share from a place of reflection, not reaction,” she says. “If it can help someone feel seen or less alone, I’ll talk about it within reason. But I’ve certainly learned to protect parts of my life that I cherish most. I share what serves connection but doesn’t cost me peace.
"I refuse to let the internet consume me. It’s supposed to be a resource and tool for connection, so if it becomes anything beyond that I will log out."

Credit: Malcolm Roberson
Throughout each episode, she sips a cocktail and addresses trending topics (even when they involve herself). It’s a platform the Pepperdine University alumnus has been preparing to have since she graduated with a degree in broadcast journalism, with a concentration in political science.
“I just knew I was going to end up on a local news network at the head anchor table, breaking high speed chases, and tossing it to the weather girl,” she says. Instead, she ended up working as an assistant at TMZ before covering sports as a freelance reporter. (She’s said she didn’t work for ESPN, despite previous reports saying otherwise.) The Pre-Game combines her love for pop culture and sports in a way that once felt inaccessible to her in traditional media.
She’s not just a podcaster, though. When she’s not behind the mic, taking acting classes or making her New York Fashion Week debut, Kayla Nicole is also busy elevating her wellness brand Tribe Therepē, where she shares her workouts and the workout equipment that helps her look chic while staying fit. She says the brand will add apparel to its line up in early 2026.
“Tribe Therepē has evolved into exactly what I have always envisioned. A community of women who care about being fit not just for the aesthetic, but for their mental and emotional well-being too. It’s grounded. It’s feminine. It’s strong,” she says. “And honestly, it's a reflection of where I am in my life right now. I feel so damn good - mentally, emotionally, and physically. And I am grateful to be in a space where I can pour that love and light back into the community that continues to pour into me.”
Tap into the full It Girl 100 Class of 2025 and meet all the women changing game this year and beyond. See the full list here.
Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
If there is one thing that I am going to do, it’s buy myself some scented soy candles. And, as I was looking at a display of them in a TJ Maxx store a couple of weekends ago, I found myself wondering just who decided which scents were considered to be “holiday” ones. The origin stories are actually pretty layered, so, for now, I’ll just share a few of ‘em.
I’m sure it’s pretty obvious that pine comes from the smell of fresh Christmas trees; however, scents like cloves, oranges, and cinnamon are attributed to two things: being natural ways to get well during the cold and flu season, and also being flavors that are used in many traditional holiday meals.
Meanwhile, frankincense and myrrh originate from the Middle East and Africa (you know, like the Bible does — some folks need to be reminded of that—eh hem — Trumpers) and ginger? It too helps with indigestion (which can definitely creep up at Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner tables); plus, it’s a key ingredient for ginger snaps and gingerbread houses. So, as you can see, holiday-themed scents have a rhyme and reason to them.
Tying this all in together — several years ago, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry ‘Christmas Sex’?” Well, in the spirit of revisiting some of that content, with a bit of a twist, I decided to broach some traditional holiday scents from the perspective of which ones will do your libido a ton of good from now through New Year’s Eve (check out “Make This Your Best NYE. For Sex. EVER.”).
Are you ready to check some of them out, so that, whether it’s via a candle, a diffuser, some essential oil, or some DIY body cream (check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever”), you can bring some extra festive ambiance into your own boudoir? Excellent.
1. Vanilla

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When it comes to holiday desserts, you’re going to be hard-pressed to find recipes that don’t include vanilla — and that alone explains why it is considered to be a traditional holiday scent. As far as your libido goes, vanilla is absolutely considered to be an aphrodisiac — partly because its sweet scent is considered to be very sensual. Some studies even reveal that vanillin (the active ingredient in vanilla) is able to increase sexual arousal and improve erectile dysfunction in men. So, if you adore the smell, here is more incentive to use it.
2. Frankincense

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Although, typically, when people think about frankincense (and myrrh), it’s in the context of the gifts that the wise men brought Christ after he was born; it’s a part of the biblical Christmas story. However, frankincense goes much deeper than that. Sexually, since it has an earthy and spicy scent, some people like to use it to meditate (check out “What Exactly Is 'Orgasmic Meditation'?”). Also, since it has the ability to put you in a better mood, soothe and soften your skin and maintain your oral health — with the help of frankincense, every touch and kiss can be that much…sexier.
3. Cinnamon

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I already gave cinnamon a shout-out in the intro. Personally, I’ve been a fan of it, in the sex department, for a long time now (check out “12 ‘Sex Condiments’ That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious”). When it’s in oil form, it can be very sweet to the taste while sending a warm sensation throughout the body — which is why the giver and receiver of oral sex can benefit from its usage. Beyond that, cinnamon helps to increase blood flow to your genital region, elevate sexual desire and, some studies say that it can even help improve fertility. Beautiful.
4. Peppermint

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If there’s a signature candy for the holiday season, it’s probably a candy cane — which automatically puts peppermint in the running for being an official holiday scent. Pretty much, in any form, it’s got your sex life’s back because it’s hailed as being a sexual stimulant; in part, because its smell is so invigorating. Plus, it helps to (eh hem) ease headaches, it gives you more energy and it can definitely help to freshen your breath. Also, that minty sensation? The same thing that I said about cinnamon can apply to peppermint too (if you catch my drift).
5. Ginger

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Whether it’s in a meal or in your bedroom, ginger is going to produce results that are hella spicy. On the sex tip, science has praised ginger for being able to increase sexual arousal, improve blood circulation (which intensifies orgasms) and strengthen fertility for many years. Scent-wise, I find it to be one that both men and women enjoy because it is both woodsy and sweet. So, if you’ve got some massage oil in mind, adding some ginger is a way to please you both.
6. Pomegranate

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September through December is the time of year when pomegranates are considered to be in season. And, as someone who is a Rosh Hashanah observer, I have a personal adoration for them because I am aware of the various things that they symbolize in Hebrew culture including the fact that they are a fruit that represents love and fertility. So yeah, they would absolutely be an aphrodisiac — one that is perfect for this time of the year. While consuming it helps to boost testosterone levels in both men and women, the floral bittersweet smell that it produces can help to reduce stress while promoting relaxation (like most floral scents do) — and the more relaxed you are, the easier it is to climax.
7. Nutmeg

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Another signature seasoning during the holiday season is nutmeg. It’s perfect in Thanksgiving sweet potato (or pumpkin) pie and Christmas morning French toast. And yes, it can also make your sex life better. If you consume it, it can intensify your libido and, overall, its warm-meets-spicy-meets-sweet smell is so inviting that it is considered to be a pretty seductive scent.
8. Cloves

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I ain’t got not one lie to tell you — if you’ve got a toothache, put some clove oil on that bad boy and send me a Christmas present for putting you on game. Aside from that, as I round all of this out, cloves are another holiday scent that can do wonders for your sex life. For men, it has the ability to significantly increase sexual arousal and improve stamina and endurance. For men and women alike, it also has a reputation for strengthening sexual desire. And for women solely? Well, if you want an all-natural way to increase natural lubrication down below — the scent and and feel (in DILUTED oil form) can make that happen. It can make the holidays especially special…if you know what I mean.
Ah yes — the atmosphere of the holidays and what it can do.
Take it all in! Scent ‘n whatever stimulating that comes with it! #wink
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