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Working Moms On The Reality Behind 'The Balance' Of Motherhood And Entrepreneurship
Unpopular opinion, but as a mother, you may have to choose your career over parenthood sometimes. Let’s talk about it.
Disclaimer: just know that we celebrate girl bosses over here! That includes the 9-5 girlies and women who take the non-traditional route of entrepreneurship. But sometimes, I feel like working moms deserve their own set of flowers. With so much red pill content today that centers around telling women who they are and how they should live, shout-out to the women who continue to denounce this way of thinking while fighting to make a name for themselves - outside of their families and children.
To those women, this is for you.
WHAT WE’RE NOT TALKING ABOUT ENOUGH
Evelyn Hambrick and her daughters
Photo by Jamel Hope
A speech that lives rent-free in my head would have to be the 2014 commencement speech given by Shonda Rhimes at Dartmouth. That’s where the Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal creator recalled learning that she can’t be everything to everyone, including her own children. “If I am killing it on a Scandal script for work, I’m probably missing bath and story-time at home,” Rhimes shared. “If I am at home sewing my kids’ Halloween costumes, I am probably blowing off a script I was supposed to rewrite.” That’s the reality of being a mom who’s also a businesswoman. But we don’t have to look outwards to Hollywood for such examples.
We can also talk about Evelyn Hambrick, a business owner who works out of Huntsville, Alabama. “I have more moments than I like to admit; moments where me being an entrepreneur trumps me being a mother,” Evelyn tells xoNecole. The mother of two began her entrepreneurial journey during the pandemic back in 2020 and currently runs four businesses. Evelyn says she used her “shelter in” downtime to learn as much as she could about her passion, photography. As a result of that, she now owns a commercial property that operates as a photography studio while also owning and running a daycare.
Evelyn Hambrick
Courtesy
Evelyn was able to achieve all this after seemingly having to start over. “My husband left right after he found out I was pregnant,” she says. “I then moved in with my sister and her husband. I was actually on bed rest and couldn’t work because I was a high-risk pregnancy.” Evelyn has her village to thank for getting her back on her feet and for keeping her there. After her second child was born, Evelyn’s close family members decided to move to Huntsville, where they purchased a house together and helped support each other for nearly 10 years until Evelyn moved out in September 2023.
PUTTING YOUR DREAMS ON PAUSE
For some working moms, starting over can look a lot like starting from rock bottom, but for others, it could mean starting fresh after raising children. This is a story freelancer LaDwanya “LD” Roberts can also attest to. She is a wife and mother of three who’s worked as a producer in reality television for nearly 10 years. Almost immediately after graduating from Clark Atlanta University, LD, like so many other working moms, decided early on in her motherhood journey that she would be a stay-at-home mom until her children were old enough to be on their own. For LD, that also meant putting her producing dreams on pause.
Today, though, LD’s eldest is a freshman in college, which now means that new doors can open up for her. “When my kids were younger, I wouldn’t take a job out of state because I didn’t want to be away from them,” she says. “But now that they’re older, I can. And we have FaceTime now, thank God!” LD commends her hard-working husband, her parents, and her in-laws for being the support system she needed while working and raising her children.
“My husband is a good father and dependable,” LD says. “I know he’s going to make sure the kids eat at night and have dinner. He never complained. He’s a man’s man and took care of the bills.”
MOMENTS WORKING MOMS ARE ASHAMED TO ADMIT
L-R: LaDwanya “LD” Roberts and daughters
Courtesy
A well-balanced parental household should be the standard for every child, but we all know that it isn’t the reality for many. Evelyn says her co-parenting experience has not been what she thought it would be and is especially not reflective of the co-parenting dynamic she had growing up. “They had the perfect trade-off relationship. Instead of making my mom leave work, my dad took over,” Evelyn recounts. She adds, “(It) wasn’t until I was an adult that I learned they didn’t like each other, but they didn’t make it known to me at all.” Evelyn respects her parents for giving her a safe environment that wasn’t full of drama because they had mutual respect for one another.
Not much has changed today. Evelyn’s parents are just as hands-on in their grandkids’ lives. She’s grateful that her parents can be there, even when she can’t, “They don’t miss the fact that I am an entrepreneur and am busy.” Evelyn even recalls a day when she didn’t know her daughter was sick in school. It crushed Evelyn when she found out what happened next. “My mom picked her up even though I said I was available,” she says. “My child said, ‘I told the nurse don’t call you because I know you’re busy and working.’” Evelyn continues, “I felt horrible. That day, I was free, but she didn’t know it. I was trying to surprise them when they got home from school. The fact she had to tell someone outside our household bothers me.”
LaDwanya “LD” Roberts
Photo by Ramseys Rivas
So yes, working moms are missing a lot of important moments, and unfortunately, so do their children. But both LD and Evelyn always work to make sure their children know the why. As for LD, “They understand that things cost and life is expensive. We have a home, food, things they want, (but) mommy and daddy have to go to work. They’re never upset (that) I have to work. They (just) wish it wasn’t such long hours.”
As for Evelyn’s children, she says her eldest child tells her all the time that she wants to be a photographer like her and that she wants to own businesses. As for her youngest, “My 4-year-old has been with my mother since she was born. She has not had me like my oldest. All she knows is me being gone. After one day, she tells me she’s ready to go back to her GG.” Evelyn says she tells her daughters regularly that she will shut everything down if they need her to.
THERE’S LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
Today, these hard-working moms are still working to be an example to their children that it’s important to pursue your dreams and passions. LD is now setting her sights on being a casting director and is currently working as a casting assistant, something she’s been passionate about for some time. She says, “I realized life is short, and I want to go after what I want.” Her advice to working moms is, “The most important thing you can do is read your word, stay grounded, whatever you believe in, do that.”
Evelyn believes that it’s a good idea to include your children in what you’re doing. She offers advice to fellow entrepreneurial moms, “I let my children be with me when I’m working so they can see what I’m doing when I’m not around. If you quit too soon, you’ll miss your blessing. Just wait. The biggest mistake you can do is give yourself a date of when it will happen; you can give yourself a goal (though).”
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Feature image by MoMo Productions/ Getty Images
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
Blair Underwood Initially Turned Down 'Sex And The City' Because 'It Was About How Samantha Was Fascinated By Dating A Black Man’
Actor and heartthrob Blair Underwood is opening up about why he turned down Sex and the City the first time he was offered a role. Many fans of the HBO series may recall Blair's time on the show in which his character was dating Miranda (Cynthia Nixon). However, he was previously offered another role where his character would date Samantha (Kim Cattrall).
During his interview with AV Club, the Set It Off star revealed that he was uncomfortable with the initial offer due to the character's fascination with him being a Black man.
“I actually did say ‘no’ the first time,” he said. “The first time they had offered the role, to be honest with you, it was about how Samantha was fascinated by dating a Black man and wanted to know if, uh, all of the rumors were true about our anatomy! And I said, ‘Listen, I’m honored, thank you, but I just don’t want to play a character based on race, on curiosity about a Black man.'”
But that didn't stop them from reaching out again. This time he was offered to play Dr. Robert Leeds, the love interest to Miranda and he decided to go for it. "So they were nice enough to call about a year later, and I said, 'Well, is it gonna be about race?' And they said, 'No, no, no, we’re not even gonna mention race!' And I think it really did only come up maybe once," he recalled.
"It did five episodes, and I think Samantha mentioned it once, saying something about 'a Black doctor' that Miranda was dating. And that’s really been a consistent thing in my career: not wanting to be boxed as 'the Black guy.'
"I’ve had that conversation with many producers along the way, and they were so great. They said, 'No, he’s just a doctor who Miranda meets in the elevator, and they have a nice little fling.' And it was amazing."
Blair has had a wide-ranging career playing everything from a lawyer on L.A. Law to playing Madame CJ Walker's husband on Self Made: Inspired by the Life of Madame CJ Walker. And during his interview, he revealed another role that he initially turned down, Set It Off. The movie, which is considered a classic in Black culture, stars Queen Latifah, Jada Pinkett Smith, Vivica A. Fox, and Kimberly Elise. Blair's character, Keith, played a banker and love interest to Jada's character, Stony.
He explained why he said no at first and eventually accepted the offer. "I had initially said “no” to that. Because I was playing this historic, iconic African-American historical figure in Jackie Robinson, and the time, y’know, there was Boyz N The Hood, and Menace II Society was out there, and I’d finished playing this noble Negro… [Laughs]," he said.
"And I’m reading the script, and there’s a scene where Jada Pinkett’s character—Jada Pinkett-Smith now—was going to sell her body so she could make some money to send her brother to college. And I remember, honestly, I threw the script across the room. I was, like, “I don’t want to do this. I want to do something uplifting for the Black culture and Black characters, and I don’t know if I want to see this.”
After a conversation with the movie's director F. Gary Gray and the actor's manager encouraging him to finish reading the script, Blair had a change of heart. What he first thought about the movie turned out to be totally different.
"So I finished the script, and I saw that the character they were asking me to play was really the love story in the midst of all of this turmoil of all of these characters, the four ladies: Queen Latifah, Vivica Fox, Kimberly Elise, and Jada," he explained.
"It was so well-written, it was such a great platform for them. And to be able to play the love story and the storyline that gave Jada’s character a leg up and a way out of this world, something to hope for, to wish for, someone to love her… I said, 'You know what? I’d like to be a part of that.'
"And I’m so glad I did, because that film resonates to this day. People all the time come up to me and say that they love that movie. So I’m glad that I did it."