Working Moms On The Reality Behind 'The Balance' Of Motherhood And Entrepreneurship
Unpopular opinion, but as a mother, you may have to choose your career over parenthood sometimes. Let’s talk about it.
Disclaimer: just know that we celebrate girl bosses over here! That includes the 9-5 girlies and women who take the non-traditional route of entrepreneurship. But sometimes, I feel like working moms deserve their own set of flowers. With so much red pill content today that centers around telling women who they are and how they should live, shout-out to the women who continue to denounce this way of thinking while fighting to make a name for themselves - outside of their families and children.
To those women, this is for you.
WHAT WE’RE NOT TALKING ABOUT ENOUGH
Evelyn Hambrick and her daughters
Photo by Jamel Hope
A speech that lives rent-free in my head would have to be the 2014 commencement speech given by Shonda Rhimes at Dartmouth. That’s where the Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal creator recalled learning that she can’t be everything to everyone, including her own children. “If I am killing it on a Scandal script for work, I’m probably missing bath and story-time at home,” Rhimes shared. “If I am at home sewing my kids’ Halloween costumes, I am probably blowing off a script I was supposed to rewrite.” That’s the reality of being a mom who’s also a businesswoman. But we don’t have to look outwards to Hollywood for such examples.
We can also talk about Evelyn Hambrick, a business owner who works out of Huntsville, Alabama. “I have more moments than I like to admit; moments where me being an entrepreneur trumps me being a mother,” Evelyn tells xoNecole. The mother of two began her entrepreneurial journey during the pandemic back in 2020 and currently runs four businesses. Evelyn says she used her “shelter in” downtime to learn as much as she could about her passion, photography. As a result of that, she now owns a commercial property that operates as a photography studio while also owning and running a daycare.
Evelyn Hambrick
Courtesy
Evelyn was able to achieve all this after seemingly having to start over. “My husband left right after he found out I was pregnant,” she says. “I then moved in with my sister and her husband. I was actually on bed rest and couldn’t work because I was a high-risk pregnancy.” Evelyn has her village to thank for getting her back on her feet and for keeping her there. After her second child was born, Evelyn’s close family members decided to move to Huntsville, where they purchased a house together and helped support each other for nearly 10 years until Evelyn moved out in September 2023.
PUTTING YOUR DREAMS ON PAUSE
For some working moms, starting over can look a lot like starting from rock bottom, but for others, it could mean starting fresh after raising children. This is a story freelancer LaDwanya “LD” Roberts can also attest to. She is a wife and mother of three who’s worked as a producer in reality television for nearly 10 years. Almost immediately after graduating from Clark Atlanta University, LD, like so many other working moms, decided early on in her motherhood journey that she would be a stay-at-home mom until her children were old enough to be on their own. For LD, that also meant putting her producing dreams on pause.
Today, though, LD’s eldest is a freshman in college, which now means that new doors can open up for her. “When my kids were younger, I wouldn’t take a job out of state because I didn’t want to be away from them,” she says. “But now that they’re older, I can. And we have FaceTime now, thank God!” LD commends her hard-working husband, her parents, and her in-laws for being the support system she needed while working and raising her children.
“My husband is a good father and dependable,” LD says. “I know he’s going to make sure the kids eat at night and have dinner. He never complained. He’s a man’s man and took care of the bills.”
MOMENTS WORKING MOMS ARE ASHAMED TO ADMIT
L-R: LaDwanya “LD” Roberts and daughters
Courtesy
A well-balanced parental household should be the standard for every child, but we all know that it isn’t the reality for many. Evelyn says her co-parenting experience has not been what she thought it would be and is especially not reflective of the co-parenting dynamic she had growing up. “They had the perfect trade-off relationship. Instead of making my mom leave work, my dad took over,” Evelyn recounts. She adds, “(It) wasn’t until I was an adult that I learned they didn’t like each other, but they didn’t make it known to me at all.” Evelyn respects her parents for giving her a safe environment that wasn’t full of drama because they had mutual respect for one another.
Not much has changed today. Evelyn’s parents are just as hands-on in their grandkids’ lives. She’s grateful that her parents can be there, even when she can’t, “They don’t miss the fact that I am an entrepreneur and am busy.” Evelyn even recalls a day when she didn’t know her daughter was sick in school. It crushed Evelyn when she found out what happened next. “My mom picked her up even though I said I was available,” she says. “My child said, ‘I told the nurse don’t call you because I know you’re busy and working.’” Evelyn continues, “I felt horrible. That day, I was free, but she didn’t know it. I was trying to surprise them when they got home from school. The fact she had to tell someone outside our household bothers me.”
LaDwanya “LD” Roberts
Photo by Ramseys Rivas
So yes, working moms are missing a lot of important moments, and unfortunately, so do their children. But both LD and Evelyn always work to make sure their children know the why. As for LD, “They understand that things cost and life is expensive. We have a home, food, things they want, (but) mommy and daddy have to go to work. They’re never upset (that) I have to work. They (just) wish it wasn’t such long hours.”
As for Evelyn’s children, she says her eldest child tells her all the time that she wants to be a photographer like her and that she wants to own businesses. As for her youngest, “My 4-year-old has been with my mother since she was born. She has not had me like my oldest. All she knows is me being gone. After one day, she tells me she’s ready to go back to her GG.” Evelyn says she tells her daughters regularly that she will shut everything down if they need her to.
THERE’S LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL
Today, these hard-working moms are still working to be an example to their children that it’s important to pursue your dreams and passions. LD is now setting her sights on being a casting director and is currently working as a casting assistant, something she’s been passionate about for some time. She says, “I realized life is short, and I want to go after what I want.” Her advice to working moms is, “The most important thing you can do is read your word, stay grounded, whatever you believe in, do that.”
Evelyn believes that it’s a good idea to include your children in what you’re doing. She offers advice to fellow entrepreneurial moms, “I let my children be with me when I’m working so they can see what I’m doing when I’m not around. If you quit too soon, you’ll miss your blessing. Just wait. The biggest mistake you can do is give yourself a date of when it will happen; you can give yourself a goal (though).”
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Black women should probably stop talking or “raising awareness,” as I’d like to call it. Yes, you read that correctly. Because, at this point, it is quite clear that the internet is not a safe space for Black women to air out their grievances about the world, the workplace, and especially about how they’re treated.
By now, you’ve caught wind of the comments A-list actress Taraji P. Henson made about wanting to leave Hollywood for good. In addition to pay disparity being an issue, the 53-year-old co-star of The Color Purple added that food and transportation were also a concern while filming, forcing her to stand up not only for herself but for her fellow costars. But not long after her revelation to the public, Taraji suddenly became a villain simply because social media decided that her problem was not our problem. Her frustrations and her tears were quickly diminished to her simply complaining too much. The worst part about it, though, is that a lot of those complaints came from Black people!
Talk To Your Therapist, Not Us
Taraji’s story paints the perfect picture of why people do not speak out about being disenfranchised. Instead of standing in solidarity with Taraji, social media users suggested she should have waited until the film was over before airing out her grievances. People also suggested that because Taraji is rich, she shouldn’t have much to complain about. So, does that mean that Black women who get paid less than her or those who work a 9-5 get treated better? Help me understand.
Taraji has received so much negative feedback online that she’s now asking us to redirect our focus back to the film. However, she is still standing on her comments regarding pay disparity, telling Today.com that we can’t keep pretending like this isn’t happening in Hollywood, adding that change happens by talking about it.
We've Literally Heard It All Before
While Taraji’s comments are recent, we’ve heard this story several times before. The Oscar-nominated star previously expressed how Tyler Perry was the first (and at this point, only) executive to pay her her worth. We’ve also been here before with esteemed comedian and actress Mo’Nique. She, too, expressed how she’s had to fight back against a Hollywood that can award her with shiny trophies but not pay her what she’s earned. Following her claims of being lowballed, Mo’Nique also had to defend herself against social media backlash, from being called “Donkey of the Day” on The Breakfast Clubto even having to defend how she handled the (lowballing) situation, from her brother in comedy, Steve Harvey on The Steve Harvey Show.
More recently, Mo’Nique addressed being on the outs with Hollywood heavyweights again during an interview with Shannon Sharpe on Club Shay Shay. After being seemingly blackballed from the industry, she has since somewhat bounced back. Time will tell if Taraji’s transparency will end in the same fate, but this piece isn’t about Taraji or Mo’Nique. It’s about us, Black people. This was our chance to finally stand with our Black women, and we are failing them yet again.
Taraji's Problem Is "Not" My Problem
So many Black folks online truly believe this and are working so hard to ignore what Taraji said because she’s rich. The truth is, you do relate to her. Why? Because you are her. What Taraji is fighting for is not new. But we have to raise the bar on how we see ourselves in our own work spaces, to fully get it. We have to raise the bar on how we allow our own jobs to treat us and pay us. Do we not have enough examples to prove how these corporations like to play in our faces…unprovoked? If we can’t see our own worth, then we’re never going to understand what Taraji P. Henson, Mo’Nique, Viola Davis, or even Angela Bassett are fighting for.
What Happens When We Publicly Discredit Each Other Online
If we keep at it this way, Black content will continue to get shelved. Us not understanding our own value, is why we continue to have these same old conversations online. Understand that the powers that be see our division and will have ZERO incentive to change anything if we have ZERO incentive to change anything.
It is counterproductive to have these types of debates on social media platforms that are NOT OWNED BY US! How is it that we can all agree that these women weren’t wrong…but at the same time, we’re shaming them for talking about it? Which one is it? What started out as a conversation about equal pay and proper treatment on set has now spiraled into so many other things, including an alleged beef between Taraji and Oprah (beef which both women have strongly denounced).
When they see us being divided online about issues like this, what does that tell them?
It tells them that Black people are not on one accord, do not have each other’s backs, and will also contribute to each other’s downfall. And nothing will change. They will continue to play in our faces. Think I’m wrong? Take a quick glimpse at the uproar from social media after learning that MAX has canceledRap Sh!t, yet another popular Black show. Take a look at Netflix. The streaming service received backlash in 2022 after firing an entire team full of diverse, well-established, creative women of color. The same group of women were courted by the company and then let go within months of getting hired.
The powers that be are telling us directly in our faces that they are not on our side. So when Black social media users and even fellow Black co-actresses publicly denounce what Taraji is saying by adding that you “can’t relate” or over-explain how good you have it on your TV show….just know that you are a part of the problem. It is counterproductive! It is quite literally stepping back on all the progress we’ve made for Black women. Since when do we need to relate to someone who’s been victimized? This rule only applies to Black women! She doesn’t need to be perfect, to look like you, or to work the same job as you for her story to be valid. It is such a cop-out to deflect from the message.
People Get Treated Unfairly All the Time…AND?
The victim blaming has to stop. Does your job require you to pay a team full of people? No. Does your job require you to be away from your family for months on end? No. This attempt to try to humble Taraji for her decision to pursue acting as a career is insane. Telling her she should have “waited” to say something is also insane. There is literally “no such thing” as the perfect victim.
Standing up for yourself is never limited to time, space, or opportunity, and I really wish we could grasp that. The real question is, why aren’t you (the consumers) following in these women’s footsteps? Why aren’t you fighting to get paid what you’re worth at your job? Why are we so comfortable and accepting of being looked over, paid less, treated less, and everything else in between…instead of rallying together to “make” change?
Black women are allowed to speak out about their experiences, celebrity or not….they are still working individuals. They are still fighting for their livelihoods just like everyone else. What do you think the writers’ and actors’ strike was for exactly?
But I Watch Black Content, So I Do Support It
It’s about more than just watching Black content. We’ve made it crystal clear that we can show up in droves to support Black creatives, Black content, etc; we are the trendsetters! But dare I say, what’s happening in the back of the house is just as important, if not more. We’ve seen how powerful social media is in making changes happen. We, as black people, must use social media to stand behind each other. Keep your counterproductive comments in the group chat. Stop speaking against us on public platforms that are NOT OWNED BY US.
Issa Rae didn’t give a call to action for us to boycott Max after Rap Sh!t's cancellation, but look how quickly people started posting that they’re boycotting MAX for consistently canceling Black shows. We also had no problem supporting Katt Williams and are even entertaining the idea that he should get his own podcast to air out more Hollywood tea, but the goal-post somehow gets moved when Taraji speaks up for herself? Come on. We also have to stop supporting corporations, films, employers, etc, who do not hear us. We can’t claim Taraji, Mo'Nique, and Viola Davis as ours, say they should’ve won the Oscar, etc., but then other them when they’re asking for our support. It’s not enough to say, “Well, that’s how is.” Stop accepting scraps! Raise the bar!
What's the End Goal Here?
We are too comfortable seeing Black women struggle in silence. We are too used to seeing them so strong that we don’t give them space to be vulnerable, to be human, to make mistakes, and not get reprimanded for doing so.
We need to figure out what we want as a collective, specifically as Black consumers. Do we want change? Do we want to get treated fairly and paid fairly? Do you want to be told the truth, or do you just want to be entertained no matter what’s happening behind the scenes and who it’s happening to? Do you want people to be able to share their experiences, or do you want them to suffer in silence? Or is outrage only allowed when it affects you?
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Fearless Fund Founders Fight Back After Being Targeted For Investing In Black Women
An anti-affirmative action group is suing a Black-owned venture capital fund organization that specifically invests in Black women entrepreneurs.
The lawsuit was filed on August 2, 2023, by The American Alliance for Equal Rights (AAER). It claims that Fearless Fund, an Atlanta-based venture capital firm, offers a grant contest that racially excludes women who are not Black. The lawsuit claims that the “Strivers Grant” violates Section 1981 of the Civil Rights Act of 1866, which mandates that private contracts be made available to all people regardless of race. The group also filed a motion for a temporary restraining order to stop the Fearless Fund from closing its application period or awarding grants as scheduled at the end of August.
The Fearless Fund firm launched back in 2019 and awards thousands of dollars in grants to small business owners looking to secure money to grow their ventures. The organization was initially co-founded by actress and businesswoman Keshia Knight Pulliam, along with Ayana Parsons and Arian Simone. However, Pulliam is no longer affiliated with the company. Since its inception, the organization has already seen much success with investors, including PayPal, Bank of America, and General Mills, just to name a few. To date, the firm has raised more than $25 million for over 40 companies, including the popular Black woman-owned restaurant Slutty Vegan.
Both Parsons and Simone are still actively working with the organization and, along with Attorney Benjamin Crump, spoke publicly on the lawsuit during a sit-down interview on The Breakfast Club. Both Parsons and Simone believe that they’re being sued “because” their organization is creating Black and brown female billionaires. During the interview, Parsons says Black women are the most founded entrepreneur demographic who start more businesses than anyone else but are still getting the least. Shocker! According to Simone, their firm not only provides grants to their clients but valuable tools on how to run a successful business.
AAER is led by Edward Blum. Blum’s organization is also affiliated with the decision from the U.S. Supreme Court to strike down affirmative action in college admission. In reference to the Fearless Fund lawsuit, Blum told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution (AJC) that three white and Asian female entrepreneurs are the ones claiming that the Strivers Grant violated civil rights laws and proceeded to ask Blum to represent them.
As a result of this lawsuit, Simone says she and Parsons are now developing their own legislative order, telling The Breakfast Club, “If you want to use the law against us, we need some more laws to protect us.” As for the next steps, Attorney Crump wants to be clear that this is all of our problem. Crump is concerned that this lawsuit can open Pandora’s box for Black and brown people everywhere, telling The Breakfast Club, “You have to stop him on this. If you don’t stop him now, it’s open season on all of us." But Blum’s organization is acting as if a sin was committed.
Some would argue that this lawsuit is just another attempt of the AAER to dismantle any and all programs that attempt to leverage generational wealth in America, which is concerning. The basis of the lawsuit seems blurred, at minimum, being that it is against progressiveness and equity. The point of the Fearless Fund is to invest in businesses that get looked at last, if at all. So Blum pretending that these inequities don’t exist is problematic in itself, and if he is successful, then Crump is correct; it could very well be open season on us all.
Ben Crump, Arian Simone & Ayana Parsons On The Fearless Fund, Racial Discrimination Lawsuit & More
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Hollywood’s Protests Affect Us All: Here's What To Know And How To Show Support
Unless you’re a creature of habit who likes to watch the same shows over and over, then prepare to be on a steady diet of reruns. As a result of the Hollywood strike happening now, it is likely that U.S. TV viewers won’t be seeing new scripted content or new seasons of their favorite shows until 2024…or even later than that. While it may seem like what is happening in Hollywood is an isolated protest, let me explain why this affects us all and why everyone should be participating.
What Is Happening?
Hollywood is on pause after Writers Guild of America (WGA) and Screen Actors Guild – American Federation of Television and Radio Artists (SAG-AFTRA) creatives decided to team up protesting work conditions on set, fair pay & the introduction of AI technology in production. The last time this happened, roughly 60 years ago, industry executives were forced to accommodate the actors’ and writers' demands because they saw each other as collaborators rather than enemies.
Second assistant director and DGA member Meaghan Gillenwater-Stark has worked on a number of box office films and is directly impacted by what’s happening in Hollywood. Meaghan explains to xoNecole that what’s happening right now is bigger than entertainment, “There’s a bigger picture to all of this. There’s so many unions fighting for fair wages who are making their CEOs billionaires!” she says.
Legal Ramifications Of Striking
As a result of the protests, union actors and writers are not allowed to work on any major studio films, but Meaghan says it gets deeper than that, adding that legal stipulations are also involved. For example, if you are a SAG member, you can get kicked out of the union if you’re caught filming with a major studio or streamer at this time. As for other working actors with hopes of one day joining a union, if they are caught working with a studio and SAG found out, according to Meaghan, “If SAG was to find out, they can decline your membership in the future.” She continues, “There’s cause and effects. Certain unions have rules and restrictions.”
This is new information to supervising docu-series producer Andrea Harris-Charles. Andrea tells me she’s been learning a lot about Hollywood since the protests. Like most people, Andrea assumed that cast and crew members alike received royalties on all of their projects, saying, “I had to check myself with my own thoughts and beliefs. These people are hungry and living check to check like we are. It’s all been very eye-opening.”
How Has Hollywood Responded?
Hollywood's upper echelon has already begun to respond to SAG-AFTRA and WGA’s demands. Disney CEO Bog Iger called the strike “disturbing,” saying the industry is still yet to bounce back from COVID. He even went as far as to say that the strikers are “adding to the set of challenges that this business is already facing” and finds this all very “disruptive.” The AMPTP (Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers) also released a statement saying that SAG-AFTRA members dismissed an offer that included “historic pay.” They fear that the Union has chosen a path that will lead to financial hardship for thousands of people who depend on the industry.
There's Scripted, Then There's Reality TV
Speaking of those thousands of people, actors and writers aren’t the only ones affected by this strike, don’t forget about everyone else who works on set. According to Meaghan, “Think of the people who make up films; the receptionist, makeup artist, etc. Those are the people who fight for fair wages too. Everybody deserves a fair wage. People assume you’re automatically rich [because you work in television or film],” she says.
As a result of this pause, you’re likely to see a surge of reality TV shows as well as live-streaming content. But don’t be mistaken, gigs in the docu-series world have been scarce well before the union strikes. A lot of people may not know this, but reality television is operated differently than scripted television. With the exception of a few shows, reality television is not a unionized institution, and the struggles its crew members endure oftentimes reflect that. “The people staffing up in reality [TV] know it’s a struggle out here and are taking advantage. Their attitude is ‘take it or leave it.’ Inflation, cost of living, etc. They know that people are almost desperate for work. [But] people are taking the low rate instead of us banning together.” She adds, “My skill should be met with adequate compensation. Instead, it is an industry sweatshop.”
Power In Solidarity
It’s not just actors and writers, a lot of people are struggling to get by. Andrea tells xoNecole, “Bigger picture-wise, we should all be involved. If they don’t get what they need, then it will get worse for us.” UPS workers have seemed to follow in Hollywood’s footsteps by having their own protests. Entertainment aside for a moment, UPS workers have seemed to follow in Hollywood’s footsteps. The workers were gearing up to protest their company’s corporation by fighting for fair wages on BEHALF OF THEIR PART-TIME WORKERS! Salute to them!
However, what would have been one of the largest strikes in UPS history was averted after union leaders decided to offer pay raises for all UPS workers. In other positive news, following the strike, the WGA has already started the process of unionizing shows like MTV’s Ridiculousness. The union believes that the show fairs in comparison to pre-existing comedic shows like America’s Funniest Home Videos, where various comedic writers are involved.
How Will The 2023 Writers Guild Of America Strike Affect Everyone
Well, it’s obvious that nothing is getting filmed until the strike comes to a positive conclusion. What that means for you is that a number of your favorite shows won’t air a new season for quite some time. Shows like P-Valley,Power Book II: Ghost, Stranger Things, and Abbott Elementary, just to name a few. Even the long-running live sketch show SNL has gone dark in honor of the union writers' strike. On a local level, some states, including Georgia, offer tax incentives for productions filming in their state.
Last year, the film industry brought over $4 billion dollars into the state of Georgia, but since the strike, some local businesses in Georgia are beginning to feel the absence of Hollywood in their monthly revenue. And as viewers find alternative things to do and watch, they’re likely to discontinue their streaming platform subscriptions since no new shows will be airing anytime soon.
What Happens Now
We wait. Industry leaders on both sides will constantly be at the table, revising proposals and hoping for the best. Until then, actors, writers, and other scripted crew members alike have an uncertain future ahead. While some may be able to wait out the strike, that’s not the reality for everyone. “A lot of people I know are leaving the industry. A lot of people won’t return, and it will affect us for years to come,” Meaghan shares.
“You have people who took other jobs and found happiness working regular paying jobs with decent hours.” Like many of us, Meaghan was left without a job for a few months during COVID, but says she’s more prepared this time. “I’ve already applied for other jobs,” she reveals. There are rumors swirling that the strike will be over in October or maybe even next year, but for Meaghan, “There’s always hearsay. I would like to think they won’t draw it out that long. [So] looking for another source of income is important.”
Once everything settles and needs are met, Andrea is hoping for an even bigger outcome and doesn’t want the protests to stop in Hollywood, “The same fight needs to happen for the unscripted genres as well. Don’t forget about us. We are also fighting. We need allies as well,” she pleads.
How You Can Show Support For The Writers Strike
Honestly, rent is high, the cost of living is increasing, and have you seen the price of chicken in the grocery store lately? It’s a wonder we all aren’t out in the streets protesting in general. “We all need fair pay, overtime, we all need the same things. We all need breaks. I hope we are all able to be allies after this,” Andrea says.
But for now, outside of canceling streaming services and hitting them in the pockets, Meaghan suggests you choose the right form of protest for you. “If you don’t want to watch streaming, then cut it off. If you want to be more vocal, go to where they are striking. Do the research. There’s not much to do than applying pressure,” she says.
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Keke, Do You Love “And” Respect Me? Let's Talk About Social Media Etiquette Within Relationships
Is there such a thing as social media etiquette when it comes to romantic relationships? A common hidden rule is that you don’t post your partner until there’s a ring involved. Back in the good old days, things were less complicated. It wasn’t official until one or both of you changed your Facebook status to “in a relationship.” Bonus points if you actually tag your partner! While some like to keep things private, it is clear that others have no problem spilling it all!
By now, you’ve all seen the headlines surrounding Keke Palmer after her son’s father, Darius Jackson, tweeted about an issue he had with her outfit choice. The tweet was in response to a video of Usher serenading Keke during his performance at his Las Vegas residency. Funny enough, that viral tweet came just days before another clip of the couple circulated online.
During a sit down on a podcast, Darius questioned how Keke would respond if folks online accused him of being unfaithful. The megastar star insinuated she wouldn’t discuss private affairs like that publicly. If that’s not enough, Darius’ viral tweet came just one day before Keke tweeted about how much she loves her boyfriend.
Not long after that, our Little Mermaid, Halle Bailey, and her boyfriend, rapper, and YouTube star, DDG’s public affairs, grabbed headlines. The up-and-coming rapper recently turned heads after releasing a song called “Famous.” In the track, he expresses his insecurities about Halle’s career choice. He even questions how she feels kissing other men onscreen. Much like Keke, fans were quick to rush to Halle’s aid, expressing how the song was apparently distasteful. Halle has yet to speak on the track itself, but the singer was quoted in an interview once saying how she stays off social media when it comes to people's opinions of her relationship, adding how other people's opinions can take a toll on her life.
So can posting intimate details about your relationship do more harm than good? While that may be true for some, the same might not be said about influencer-turned-actor Devale Ellis and his wife, Khadeen. Years ago, the two introduced themselves to social media as a pair of millennial parents trying to figure it out, and they’ve been doing just that. The couple are often transparent online about many intimate topics in their relationship, including sex. The pair would grow to face their own amount of backlash regarding the decisions they make within their relationship. Ultimately, they have been consistent in showing the ups and downs of marriage and owning their individual careers while also parenting four children.
All and all, who doesn’t want to share their special someone with the world? It shouldn’t be something to fear, but we’ve all seen, in real-time, how social media has contributed to the downfall of many relationships. The opinions on how to discuss your partner online vary. What remains true across the board is that having different posting styles than your partner will likely lead to conflict. Because if you don’t check them, social media surely will! While you can’t control how people perceive your relationship, as couples, you do at least have a responsibility to each other to discuss how public you want to make the private details of your partnership.
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If you haven’t been to Africa, this is your sign to go. My first time visiting the continent of Africa also happened to be my first time working on the continent of Africa. I worked there for a little over a month and did minimal research before I went. I was very well aware of the picture that America has painted of Africa since I was a child, so I wanted to go there without any additional preconceived notions, and I’m glad I did.
I learned so much, saw so much, and unlearned even more. Africa is so rich in culture, views, and traditions. In talking to the citizens there, it is clear that their love for the U.S. runs deep. I am so thankful to have experienced Africa first-hand and that so many of my previous understandings were debunked and replaced with new, more accurate depictions.
Most people who’ve visited the motherland will talk highly about Ghana, Kenya, and Liberia (as they should). But Cape Town, South Africa, should be held to the same standard. From the food, the views, the activities, and most importantly, its citizens, Cape Town has fast become one of the most popular places to visit in Africa. If you need a good head start on where to go, this list of places below should give you a good head start.
Places to visit in Cape Town
Aquila Private Game Reserve
Photo courtesy of Chivone Smith
Bo Kaap – This beautiful residential neighborhood in Cape Town has quickly become an Instagramable favorite for many tourists visiting the capital city. Many people enjoy taking pictures in this neighborhood because the homes are so colorful and vibrant. Visitors are also welcome to tour Bo Kaap and learn about the neighborhood and its history.
Aquila Private Game Reserve – What’s a visit to Africa without touring one of their most notable safari’s? Aquila Private Game Reserve is also where they house “The Big 5;” elephants, lions, buffalos, leopards, and rhinos. This location also offers horseback riding, among other festivities.
Quad Biking – ATV’ing is one thing in the States, but in South Africa, it’s a whole other experience.
Newlands Forest – If you’re looking for a good walking/biking trail or for some good views, Newlands Forest is a must-stop. If you’re driving, just be careful. The street entryway is right off the street and can get a little dangerous if you’re not careful.
Kloof Street – Kloof Street is a popular street in Cape Town. It’s full of various restaurants, nightclubs, shops, and so much more!
Soi Bar – A personal favorite of mine, Soi Bar is a semi-new bar spot infused with various Asian dishes. If nothing else, you must try their creative drinks. Be sure to ask for the drink they offer on the hidden menu. Included with the drink is a security escort.
Green Street Market - talk about supporting Black businesses. Be sure to stop by Green Street Market to find the latest jewels, hand-stitched fabrics, and more! Cause what’s a trip without souvenirs?
Table Mountain
Photo courtesy of Chivone Smith
Chapmans Peak - Be sure to take your time and drive slowly as you’re en route to Chapmans Peak. Also, note that it will be like nothing you’ve ever seen before.
Table Mountain – You’ve not been to Cape Town if you haven’t visited Table Mountain. For all my SpongeBob Squarepants fans, you’ll also be able to learn a little back story about The Flying Dutchman. Most, if not all, people who’ve gone will tell you to take the cable car up the mountain. One, it’s a five-minute glide-up, and the view is worth it. But, if you’re feeling adventurous, you can also hike up the mountain. And I mean hike! Depending on where you start, hiking up the mountain will take a minimum of 2 1/2 hours up, and be sure to release your inner Meg knees for that walk down. It’s the hardest part!
Canal Walk Shopping Center - If you’re looking for more urban or modern attire, then head on over to one of, if not the biggest mall in Cape Town, which is located at Canal Walk shopping center. It’s even got a grocery store inside.
Banana Jam Cafe – As for late-night festivities or if you and some friends just want to wind down for some drinks and good food, Banana Jam Cafe is a great place to start. It’s a nice Caribbean vibe. They brew their own beer, and the music is just right. You won’t be disappointed!
Boulders Beach – I’ve heard of horses at the beach, maybe even pigs, but have you ever seen penguins on the beach? You will at Boulders Beach!
Whether you’re traveling solo or with some friends, you’ll get bonus points if you know some phrases and words to help you along your journey. Here are a few words and phrases that I picked up while in Cape Town:
Quad biking
Photo courtesy of Chivone Smith
- Kushushu (Koo-Shu-Shu)- Hot
- Iza (E-za) - Come
- Izapha (E-za-puh) - Come here
- Imma (Ee-ma) - Wait
- Bamba (Bam-Buh) - Hold
- Tata (Tah-Tah) - Carry or take
- Langa (Lan-guh) - Sun
- Amanzi (Uh-man-zi) - Water
- Puza (Pu-zah) - Drink
- Ewe (Eh-wei)– Yes
- Hamba (Ham-ba)/ Vaya (Vi-ya) – Go
- Ke Sharp (Ke-Shap) – It’s good
- Ndilambile (Dee-lam-bee-leh) – I’m hungry
- Lala (La-la) - Sleep
- Mzanzi (Mm-Zan-zee) – South Africa
- A con (A-con) - Air conditioner
- Dankie (Dan-kee) - Thank you
- Chomey (Cho-me)/Mikey (Mikey) - Friend
- Baie (Bai) Dankie (Dan-kee) - Thank you very much
- Cheers – Goodbye
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Feature image courtesy of Chivone Smith