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4 Women Talk Living Abroad And The Effects Of The Global Pandemic
I've been in a long distance relationship with the love of my life for almost three years now, and my deepest wish is to see him for more than six months out of the year. I've had an even longer love affair with the country of his birth--Jamaica--having visited since I was 19 and having extended family ties there. I literally long for the day when the beaches of Westmoreland or Ocho Rios are my backyard and when I can jerk my own chicken and pick mangoes, avocados, and coconuts outside my front door.
Now, with global quarantine orders and borders closures in place due to COVID-19, many of us have had to put any plans of traveling on hold almost indefinitely. But no worries wanderlusters.
Below, 4 women share why and how they relocated abroad, how the current events have affected their everyday lives, and--when things are back to normal--how other women can realize their dreams of moving abroad, too:
China: Karina Henry, Teacher And Model
Image via Karina Henry
How have things been for you abroad, especially with the COVID-19 pandemic changing our way of life?
In January, I returned home to visit since I had a month-long vacation for Chinese New Year. Unfortunately, due to the airline restrictions and border closings related to Coronavirus, I've been stuck in the States. I'm hoping China reopens their borders soon and allows foreigners to reenter so I can get back to my life in China!
How did you transition into working in China?
In 2018, I convinced my job in the States to approve remote work from Thailand for a month by submitting a 7-page-proposal. (To this day, I am still shocked that they approved me working from another country because they rarely approved people working from home!)
While in Thailand, I met a young lady who was living and teaching there. She told me how easy it was to find a teaching job in Asia and that I should apply. Of course, I shrugged it off and returned home to my regular job. Weeks after returning home from Thailand and settling back into my normal life, I realized how miserable I was and how much I missed my life in Thailand. I was beyond depressed. I cried everyday!
That summer, I decided to begin looking into teaching abroad and stumbled upon an awesome opportunity in Suzhou, China. I nailed the interview (which wasn't very difficult) and began preparing my documents for my visa.
In September 2018, I boarded the plane with my one-way ticket to China to begin my life abroad. I've been enjoying my life abroad ever since! I am a foreign language teacher at a privately-owned kindergarten in Shanghai and this is my second year teaching in China. Though most people find international teaching opportunities via websites like TEFL.com or Teachaway.com, I truly stumbled upon both of my teaching opportunities.
Image via Karina Henry
What resources have helped in being an expat?
When I began to consider teaching abroad, I turned to social media as a valuable resource. I joined a Facebook group called Brothas&Sistas of China, and it's a wonderful group for people of color who live or have lived in China. I began asking questions about teaching opportunities and life abroad. Because China isn't known for being very friendly to black foreigners (you wouldn't imagine how many times I've seen "only interested in European teachers" when I was job searching), I was most interested in working for a school that had already hired people of color.
I received helpful leads and reached out to schools because of referrals I received from people in the Facebook group. One of the things I love most about living in China is that opportunities are easier to find and they often fall in your lap.
In addition to teaching, I also model for a wholesale company that is based in Shanghai. How did I land that gig? I was out with a Chinese friend, stuffing my face at a restaurant, when I was approached by two representatives who asked if I'd model for them! This has also opened other doors for me in China and back home.
I recently started a YouTube channel called Karina Worldwide to document my life as a teacher, plus-size model, traveler, and black woman living life abroad!
Ghana: Maame Adjei, Actress, Producer & Creative Entrepreneur
Maame, who attended undergrad and graduate school in Philadelphia, has Ghanaian roots and decided to moved to Accra, Ghana to pursue a healthcare career in 2013. Her interests shifted when a friend suggested she try acting, and the following year she landed a starring role in the critically acclaimed show An African City. She also hosted a travel show showcasing the beauty and diversity of Ghana called Girl Going Places, and has since collaborated with other actors and creatives on the continent. Here's her story of moving abroad:
What led you to take the leap?
I've been moving "abroad" all my life. I've lived in the UK, in the US, and in Ghana. I was born in Ghana and I consider it home, [but] I left at a young age. When I finally decided to move back 7 years ago, it was like moving 'abroad' or to a new place. I had been living in Philadelphia for over a decade, so moving back to Ghana was a leap, however, it was something I had to do.
I came to Ghana on a quick 2-week vacation, and by the time I was heading back to Philadelphia, the mundaneness of my life hit me so hard.
I realized how unhappy I actually was with my life and my work and just felt an overwhelming need to shift the path and try something completely new. My family had all moved back to Ghana, and it just felt like if I was going to re-start my life with a goal to pursue happiness and passion, it was the best place to start. So I did.
What was the process to do what you love for work?
I'm a creative, and that's saying a lot in Ghana! My background is in healthcare finance and that's the field I was in before I moved to Ghana, but since I made a conscious decision to find my passions and pursue them, I took the first year of being here "off" and just traveled and lived an Eat, Pray, Love life. I had cashed out my 401k, so I had the money to just "figure it out."
In the midst of that, I started working on my own travel show. Then a friend reached out to me about a TV show she was working on, An African City, and really, my creative life began from there. So, my work found me and not vice versa.
What were the first steps you took to officially move?
Thankfully, I was moving to a country that I knew well. I had lived in Ghana as a tween, I had visited during Christmas holidays, and I had a family here, so the transition was certainly easier.
I do suggest that if you're planning on moving away from your home base, research, research, research. [Look into] work visas and how long you can stay.
Germany: Zoie-Marie, Tech Professional & Vlogger
Image via Zoie-Marie
Why did you choose to live abroad?
I am originally from New York and now living in the Stuttgart region in Germany. There are a few reasons why I decided to move abroad. During my college years I did two study abroad semesters, one to Austria and one to Germany. Those two semesters abroad really opened my eyes to travel.
Before that time I never went anywhere--never went on family vacations (outside of the country), never went on solo vacations. I was just a homebody. After those two semesters, I had a nasty bite from the travel bug.
It was so easy and affordable to travel from one place to another within Europe! To top it off, I had met so many amazing individuals, and I had the most romantic and exciting experiences which I will never forget. After that, I decided I wanted my life to always be an adventure. I wanted to make travel an essential piece of my existence which led me to the grand idea that I should move abroad officially and at least give the idea a try.
Image via Zoie-Marie
How have the quarantines and all that is related to COVID-19 affected your life?
The Coronavirus has hit me hard! My personal life is more affected than my work life. In my job, I am normally able to work from home once or twice a week, so I am not new to that. I am very fortunate that my job and my role was not affected by this virus. Outside of my job, my personal life has been halted. My main purpose of moving abroad was to travel, have experiences, and meet new people. The virus has eliminated all opportunity to continue to do that at the moment.
COVID-19 has canceled an important training trip I had to California and also a special mother-daughter vacation which I planned for Greece. I haven't seen my mother in-person since January. Further, since I moved to Germany on my own, I have no family here or nearby and due to social distancing, I cannot meet my friends or co-workers. I am home and alone 24/7. I am missing human interaction. It's extra lonely, and quite frankly all my travel plans for the year have come to a shattering and lengthy halt.
What do you do for work abroad, and how did you find job opportunities?
I am working in the artificial intelligence industry, and I was able to attain my job through LinkedIn. Before that, my two jobs in Germany did not challenge me for long and as a result, I was very unhappy with my situation. I went on LinkedIn every other week applying for jobs for over a year, and many were, in the end, not a right fit until I landed my current position.
My suggestion for anyone who wants to move abroad is to be vigilant, and if the social sites like LinkedIn are not helpful, you can try to network via Facebook groups or friends and friends of friends!
In Germany, there are numerous expat groups online where many people list or forward job openings from their companies. I even applied to one or two jobs via that channel.
Image via Zoie-Marie
What are the first steps you took to move?
First, I needed to find a job. I did extensive research on what I could do in the field of English in Germany (which is an easy field to find entry work anywhere abroad). Once I secured a job abroad, I needed to save enough money to support myself for the first few months abroad. I worked two jobs in the States, 7 days a week, and saved every penny (literally).
Before I officially moved abroad, I did research on what was needed for my work visa. Since Germany is included in the Schengen Agreement, Americans with a U.S. passport are allowed to enter Germany for a maximum period of 90 days. This allowed me to enter the country without a work permit.
As soon as I landed in Germany, my immediate task was to apply for my work visa as it was now time sensitive and the clock was ticking. I could not start my job without it [so] during that time I just relied on my savings.
My advice is to be very vigilant in getting this process started as soon as possible because the processing time could be anything from 1 to 2 months. On top of that, you will need to consider the additional tasks that must be completed before you can even apply for the permit. This includes signing up for health insurance, opening up a bank account, and finding accommodation which could take up a chunk of that 3 months.
France: Latrice Shepherd, Educator & Travel Consultant
Image via Latrice Shepherd
Latrice is from California, and after working in New York, decided to act on her dream to live in Paris. She launched her own travel site, Penniless in Paris, where she shares insights on places to go, live, and shop and where expats can find support and community. She also helps others reach their expat goals and feed their travel bugs. Here's her story:
How has life changed for you as we all face the issues of a global pandemic?
I am currently abroad in Paris and the Coronavirus has affected my life tremendously. More than ever before I wish I was home with my family. I know that I live far, but these past few weeks on lock down, I actually feel far. Additionally, as an expat, your friends become your family. Being separated from friends during the quarantine is also very difficult.
I consider myself to be an avid traveler and I'm usually exploring a new place every 90 days. Due to the lock down, I'm also unable to pursue my passion of travel. Nonetheless all is not lost.
My French neighbor and I have forged a bond during the quarantine. She's around 55, and like me she's single and lives alone. She's across the hallway, and she and I shoot the shit over a bottle of wine every other day. We remind each other that this too shall pass and talk about all the things we intend to do when the quarantine is over. We get 6 weeks of vacation in France---one of the many reasons I'm still here! When this is all over I intend to frolic in the South of France as I do every summer. There's a fabulous jazz festival in Nice in July---the largest of all of Europe. I'm also looking forward to spending the month of December at home with my family.
What sparked the final decision to move to France?
I'm originally from the [San Francisco] Bay area (yeeeeee!) but before I moved to Paris, I was living in New York. Fun Fact: The day I moved to New York, I told myself that once I was finished with New York I would move to Paris. I believe that my move was literally a stepping stone to prepare me for my relocation to Paris.
While in New York, I had been laid off from my retail management job. It was the middle of a recession and finding a job with a comparable salary was impossible. As a result I returned to university to finish my bachelor's degree since I already had an associate's.
I studied international relations, and as part of my degree program I was required to learn a second language. I chose French and studied abroad in Paris for two months during the summer to help me master the language.
After returning from Paris, I decided to pursue a second degree in French and embarked on a one-year study abroad program in Paris. I moved to Paris January 2014 for my program, and I literally never returned!
Image via Latrice Shepherd
What were the first steps you took to officially move and enjoy life in a new country?
Because I moved to Paris with my university I had to obtain a student visa for a year. I argue that a student visa is the most hassle-free visa to obtain for anyone looking to move to Paris and have the ability to work part-time.
I also significantly downsized my life before my move. I rid myself of unnecessary material things because I knew I would be gone for at least a year and I didn't know what my future held. I wanted to be able to transition to any situation smoothly and that's difficult to do when you have a lot of things in tow. Parisian apartments are very small and there's no way they can accommodate the things that we Americans tend to acquire in the States.
I arranged for all of my financial responsibilities to be managed online. I set up a checking account with Capital One 360 which is basically an online banking account with no foreign transaction fees.
I also prepared myself to integrate to another culture. Paris is not the U.S., and French culture is not American culture. It's pointless to compare the two. If I want to maintain a positive experience and a happy life, it is necessary to adapt.
What do you do for work in Paris?
I'm a tenured English lecturer at a private university. I acquired my current position through a liaison that my university uses for study abroad students in Paris. Before becoming tenured, I was working under the table (or 'au noir'), and making roughly 300 euros a month (about $330 today).
My first two years in Paris were very bare bones. I was literally surviving on scholarships and grants received from my university. Additionally, I taught English on the side. I also started a small business helping people plan trips to Paris or move abroad. That small business has since turned into a full-fledged website aptly named "Penniless in Paris." If anyone is interested in moving or even traveling to Paris, please check out the website. Au Revoir!
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Featured image courtesy of Latrice Shepherd
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
The Common Denominator Is You. So, Why Do You Keep Choosing The Wrong Men?
Everywhere you go, there you are. It’s one of those popular sayings (kind of like “It is what it is”) that I find myself using a lot, especially when I’m in sessions with my clients. Why? Well, it’s kind of likean article that I once read that pretty much said our culture likes to play the toxic game of blaming other people because it’s an easy way to deflect from personal accountability (check out “What It Actually Means To 'Hold Yourself Accountable'”). So true, so true,
Well, another way of saying “everywhere you go, there you are” is using the math term “common denominator” — and today, what we’re going to attempt to tackle is, why is it that some of us, if we stepped back a moment to take a very real and honest assessment of our dating life, do we always end up with the same kind of guy? One who really isn’t the best for us; sometimes, not even close.
Before getting into some questions that I think can help you get to the answer, let me just say that this is definitely one of the kinds of pieces that may step on at least your pinky toe before it’s all said and done. At the same time, although this might not be the most comfortable of reads, keep in mind what the late poet, singer, and publisher Tuli Kupferberg once said, “When patterns are broken, new worlds emerge.”
And so, if when it comes to the caliber of men you’ve dated, what you’ve been doing is revealing that your pattern is not really working for your ultimate good, spend a bit of time trying to unpack just why that could be the case — why, at the end of the day, you truly are the common denominator in it all.
How Self-Aware Are You?
About five years ago, I penned an article for the site entitled “These Are The Things Self-Aware People Do Daily.” You know, of all of the things to be in this life, prioritizing self-awareness is king because self-aware people do things like hold themselves accountable, know their strengths and weaknesses, identify their triggers, have good boundaries, self-reflect, pay attention to their own “blind spots” — and they can — eh hem — take feedback and constructive criticism pretty well.
That last one? If you’re constantly in a hamster wheel or even a cul-de-sac when it comes to men, be honest with yourself: did your family, friends, hell, even your co-workers warn you about some of the guys you dated, and you found yourself either defending, deflecting or getting offended? Yeah, self-aware people don’t get down like that because they would rather have peace and be wrong than act like they are always right and remain in chaos.
So yeah, if you’re always in some foolishness or even in relationships that are simply a counterproductive waste of time, pondering how self-aware you actually are is a really good place to start. Self-reflect. Know your weaknesses. Listen to what others have to say about your tendencies. All of this can do you a whole lot of good.
How Humble Are You?
Society is a wild place, boy. The reason why I say that is because, while it’s out here acting like humility is a bad thing, Scripture says, “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4) And why is humility such a vital spiritual attribute? Because, when you’re humble — you’re grateful; you’re teachable; you’re open to seeing things outside of your own perspective; you’re compassionate and empathetic; you’re flexible; you’re forgiving, and you’re able to release your ego so that you can accept what you need over what you want.
What you need over what you want. Chile, if that doesn’t keep some people in cyclic stuff, I honestly don’t know what does. There’s a client that I have right now who only contacts me when she’s basically blown up her life because she constantly gets caught up in a man’s looks and bedroom performance. When I tell her that she needs to stop making that #1 and #2 of things to look for in a relationship, she “uh-huh's” me and then does what she wants to do anyway — only for it to end up wreaking all sorts of havoc…again.
It’s another message for another time about how some of us could stand to look within to see if wanting a fine man above all else is more about validating some deep-rooted insecurities that we have about our own looks (ouch). For now, I’ll just say that if your ego is out here telling you that looks and sexual performance should trump things like character and consistency, it is LYING to you. If you chose to heed the humble side of yourself, you would know that.
And this actually brings me to my next question.
How Stuck Are You in Your “Type”?
The reason why I wrote “According To Experts, We All Have A ‘Type’” back in the day is because it’s true — pretty much all of us have a type which is pretty much a preference; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that either. At the same time, I’m advising, from very up close and personal experience, that it’s a good idea to spend some time pondering “the origin story” of where your type came from.
Me? I’m always gonna be down for a very tall, hella chocolate, basketball (or soccer) build Black man. However, I’m a sexual abuse survivor and my molester looked a lot like that, so during the healing process of what he did to me, I had to factor in his influence. Plus, my first love also fits the physical mold and he definitely had quite an impact on my life. So…see what I mean? My type didn’t just come out of nowhere. Yes, sometimes your type may have some trauma or drama attached to it. And yes, that might be really uncomfortable to think about; still, that doesn’t mean it’s not true.
Now my late fiancé? He was right at about 6’ and, complexion-wise, he was lighter than I am. He treated me better than most of the men of my past, though — and even though he definitely pursued me for a while to get me to consider us beyond being friends, because I took a risk outside of my type, I learned what it was like to be loved in a healthy way. And what that did for me was it taught me to remain open outside of my standard type. I still like a tall-ass Godiva man, chile (and don’t let him have a beard and be in a tailored suit!). I don’t limit myself to that package, though. To do so would be severely limiting — potentially tragic even.
How Healed Are You?
“Healed” is a word that comes up A LOT in the social media space. When it comes to relationships, specifically, it’s important to ask yourself if you are healed from your past because, if you aren’t, you very well could be reliving it over and over…and over again, whether you realize it (or choose to accept it) or not.
Just so that we’re all on the same page, the word “heal” means things like healthy, sound, and whole. Synonyms for the word include improve, restore, mend, soothe, and rehabilitate. Signs that you have healed from past hurts of a relationship (or a series of relationships) include you don’t think of them with anger or bitterness; you can see the silver linings from the experience; you’ve forgiven them for things that they did wrong (or that simply hurt you — and no, that’s not always one and the same), and you don’t pick (or avoid) other people to be in your life solely based on what someone else did to you.
What I mean by that last one is an unhealed woman may say something like, “I don’t want to do [such and such] for a first date. That’s what my ex liked to do.” The new guy isn’t him, so why does he have to be beholden to your past? Or, “I don’t trust men who won’t let me go through their phone. That’s how I found out my ex was cheating.” You know, for all of the women who like to play a non-animated form ofInspector Gadget (the real ones know), they sure don’t want their phones inspected as much as they like to do all of the inspecting. SMDH. Anyway, I don’t go through phones. For what? I don’t pay the bill and I’m not anyone’s parent. And so, your next guy not preferring it either? That doesn’t automatically mean that he’s up to no good — he may just want his boundaries respected. An unhealed person may not accept that. A healed one tends to, though.
And how can being unhealed play a direct role in you choosing the same guys over and over again? It’s weird because, sometimes you will go back to what’s familiar to you — because the new guy is such a risk, you’d prefer to “stick to the devil you know” than take a chance on someone who rolls very differently. It’s a cryptic way of remaining the common denominator in your dating dynamics. Oh, but it happens all of the time, chile.
What Makes a Man WRONG for You? Specifically?
Okay, with a lot of the inner work out of the way, how do you even come to the conclusion that someone (or several people) is wrong for you? Because you know what? Once you’ve done some real healing (and serious maturing), you can oftentimes find yourself accepting the fact that just because someone may not be right for you, that doesn’t automatically or necessarily make them a bad person. No, not at all.
Although the word “wrong” can mean that something or someone isn’t morally right, wrong also means things like erroneous, not suitable or appropriate, not in accordance with certain requirements, or — and please catch it — out of order (which sometimes consists of the right thing happening at the wrong time). So, if it does seem like you keep choosing (because it is always a choice; that is also where accountability comes in) men who aren’t appropriate, aren’t in accordance with your needs or standards, or who aren’t what you need at the time — why is that? Is it rooted in fear? Impatience? Settling? What?
I have had enough clients go through this to know that it’s not good enough to be abstract about someone being “wrong” for you. You need to set aside one weekend, get some wine and a fresh journal, and really get into what wrong looks like. For instance, if you keep lowering your standards (which is the wrong thing to do, by definition), why is that? Because no matter how wrong the guy may ultimately turn out to be, what you have to be willing to accept is — again — you chose him. Why do you choose what’s wrong? Because, more times than not, some red (or at least orange) flags were waving long before the relationship came crashing down; oftentimes, they reveal themselves within the first couple of dates. You just chose to ignore them.
One more.
Do You Know a Good Man When You See One? You Sure?
As we close all of this out, when you get a chance, please check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?” Learning the difference between “to” and “for” took my own relational processing to an entirely new and freeing level. And you know what? Back to the healing point, another way to know that you’ve healed is you don’t generalize men. Meaning, that if you’re out here declaring that there aren’t any good ones, that’s not true; you’re just jaded (I mean, it’s the truth), and that head and energy space is affecting your judgment and perspective.
That said, if you’re constantly selecting the wrong men, ask yourself if you even know what a good man looks like (cue India.Arie’s “Good Man”). Again, by definition, good means things like morally excellent, right, kind, friendly, benevolent, educated, financially sound (not rich, stable and responsible…goodness), genuine, reliable, dependable, responsible, attractive, warm, intimate — satisfactory to the purpose (yes, that’s a literal definition).
For a man to be good for you, you need to know what purpose he is to serve at this particular point in your life because if, for example, all men seem to do, in your eyes, is use you for sex, why are you prioritizing sex over an emotional connection if the latter is the purpose that you seek right now? A lot of women can stop being the common denominator when it comes to choosing the wrong man if they 1) become the good that they seek and 2) do not betray the purpose behind why they even desire a relationship in the first place.
____
I know. When things aren’t going your way when it comes to matters of the heart, it can be easy to always say it’s the man’s fault. If there’s a pattern, though, please be a bit more self-reflective than that.
Once you do, you’d be amazed by how much about you shifts — to where the wrong guys can’t even get close to you, in the way that they used to, anymore.
Because you cease to be the “common denominator” you once were.
And how wonderful is that?
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