Have you ever felt so uncomfortable in your life that nothing makes sense anymore?
You keep falling in the same type of relationships with the same type of men. Your career seems to be going nowhere.
You no longer feel comfortable in your own home. And you keep waking up every day saying to yourself, "This can't be all there is to life."
Well, that's what happened to me over the past couple of years. Something kept telling me I was off my path and I need to do something to get back on it. Call it God, call it intuition, or just a general sense of jadedness – that thing was clawing at my soul to the point where I couldn't ignore it any longer.
After a long trip home to Jamaica for some much needed rest and recovery from my LA life, the discomfort led to clarity. The call to travel became embedded in my heart and as soon as I returned home, I started a secret plan for 2018. I would give myself a year to plan and save and then I would make my move.
Oh, but we all know that's not how callings work. As I got back into my the groove of daily life, started a new job, and worked on my plan, the sick feeling of discomfort I thought I abated crept back up.
God was asking me, "Girl, if I planted this seed in your heart, why don't you trust me to help it grow and thrive?"
I realized it was either now or never. I had no children, no significant other, and no major commitments. All that was holding me back was an apartment full of furniture and I knew there was no way I was going to let "things" that had no real value to me hold me back. Unable to suppress my inner voice anymore, I gave in and accelerated the plan.
All I had to do was get rid of my stuff. If you are looking to do the same thing, here are a few ways I got the job done:
1. Part Ways with Things You Don't Need
The first and most important thing you have to do when downsizing is deciding what you want to keep. For me, this was easy. I knew I was leaving my apartment with one carry-on suitcase and a backpack. That was it. OK, maybe it wasn't that easy. What do you do when you have five favorite dresses, but you only have space for one? And it better be a versatile one. And what if I want to trade out clothes after a few months? Do I send a box to my mom's or a friend's?
After much contemplation, I decided that very few items needed to be kept in storage (meaning mom's or a friend's) - only winter clothes, a few sentimental things (journals, photos, etc.), and important documents. Everything else will have to find a new home.
2. Sell Furniture in a Forum You Trust
Let's face it, selling furniture/household items was not fun. Between posting, reposting, chasing down leads, and waiting for people who never showed up, the process can make any sane person just want to open a window and throw everything outside like it was an ex-lover's favorite things.
And if that wasn't enough stress, as a single woman and living alone, having random people show up to my house was a huge safety concern. Because of this, I decided to only use forums I was familiar with. Groups on Facebook I've chatted in before, my own FB page, and FB's marketplace were my go-to's. Facebook was my go-to for selling everything. Being able to check a person's profile or knowing that we have common friends eased many of my fears.
To take precautions further, I only gave away my building address (not apt #) to most people and met them downstairs if they purchased items that were easy for me to carry. When I sold my large farm table to a young man, I asked a friend to hang out with me when the purchaser wanted to come by. I also tried my best to schedule meetings in the mornings before work or the early evenings.
Being safe while inviting strangers into your home should be your number one priority. Don't let desperation cause you to put yourself at risk.
3. Donate Towels, Sheets, Pillows & Blankets to an Animal Shelter
This was a daunting one for me. What in the world do I with my old towels, sheets, blankets, and pillows? Most things I have I knew I could sell but who the heck wants my old dingy towels? Thank God for Google!
Not knowing what to do, I looked up ways to recycle these items. Out of all the ways to reuse these items, donating them to an animal shelter made the most sense. Animal shelters use these items for animal bedding, to dry them after cleaning, and other necessities. I've never been a pet person but it definitely brings me comfort to know that my old blankets can help provide a comfy home to animals in need.
4. Sell, Trade, Pass Down & Donate Used Clothing
From what I've read, donating used clothing to thrift stores can be tricky. Most clothes you donate never make it to the sales floor. So, in order to minimize the chances of my clothes ending up in the landfill anyway, I tried these options first:
- Sell/Trade: Crossroads Trading Company is one of my favorite thrift stores in LA. They do an amazing job of curating items people will actually buy again. Knowing that I buy most of my items directly from designer showrooms, I knew heading here first would be a good bet. Better yet, with the money I made from the sale, I bought my carry-on and backpack for the trip. Can you say win-win?!
- Pass Down: During this process, I totally forgot that I had a little sister who loves fashion as much as me and wears the same size, but while rattling off my list of to-dos she quickly reminded me fi ship some of di clothes dem. PERF!
- Donate: Most of my clothing and shoes (and some household items) went to the Good Shepherd Center for Women and Children.
5. Sell Books to a Used Bookstore
Since living in DTLA, I have completely fallen in love with the Last Bookstore. Growing up, I loooved bookstores but I've never been in a used bookstore. I thought they were just fun mystery locations in fantasy films. The Last Bookstore is everything in a mystery movie come to life and then some. It married my love for books with an adventure. So when looking for a place to give my favorite reads a second life, I knew exactly where to go. What you get for the books isn't much but it's a lot better than nothing.
6. Give It Away for Free
When all else fails, list your stuff for free. When I was down to the wire and less than 24 hours away from jumping on a plane, I put up a sign in my apartment lobby and listed all the items I had left for free. At that point, just the mere fact that someone was willing to come and physically move things that I no longer had the energy to haggle with people for was enough for me. I was beat!
I wish I could say I made it through this whole process with minimal waste but to my dismay, I think a fair amount of items still ended up in the trash. I really felt I failed the whole mission of minimal waste because of it but I can say I gave it a hell of an effort.
My first stop? San Juan del Sur in Nicaragua. I can't wait to see what this new life has in store for me.
*Originally published on For Laura Gennie
Donalee Curtis is an Island girl on the go, exploring her love for writing and culture while traveling the world. Check her out at donaleecurtis.com. Keep up with her journey around the globe by following her on Instagram and subscribing to her YouTube channel.
Featured image by Getty Images
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These days, it's for a completely different purpose, though. Now that I am in the hopefully latter stages of perimenopause (I’m not sure because my mother had a full hysterectomy at 29, her mother died at 53 and I don’t deal with my paternal grandmother because…chile… ) — although I have always had relatively easy cycles and I could definitely set my watch to them, about two years ago, my periods started to show up whenever they felt like it and it was damn near a crime scene once they did.
It was driving me crazy, and so, my nurse practitioner recommended that I take progestin-only pills to shorten, if not completely stop, my cycle: “After a year or so, we can wean off and see if you are entering into menopause on your own.” (Whew, perimenopause, chile.)
Although the first five months of being on this particular pill made me wonder if it was worth it to take this approach, I actually re-upped for another 12-month cycle because the extra progestin (a synthetic form of progesterone) has benefitted me in other areas as well because I am sleeping more soundly and my weight is more stabilized (by the way, when these things are “off,” they are signs of low progesterone levels). However, I did ask my nurse practitioner if, once I do decide to wean off of the pill, would there be any issues.
Her response is what inspired me to write this article because, until she said “post-birth control syndrome” to me, I had no idea there was such a thing. Anyway, if you give me a sec, I’ll explain to you what it is and why you should care if hormone-related birth control is currently a part of your life.
Yes, Post-Birth Control Syndrome Is a Very Real Thing
GiphyOkay, so it’s important to always remember that the way that birth control works is it “manipulates” your hormones so that you can significantly reduce your chances of conceiving. This means that taking them could result in some side effects including nausea; weight gain; headaches; irregular periods and/or spotting; increased stress; depression; blurry vision; breast tenderness, and/or a lowered libido.
That said, even though birth control pills are basically 99 percent effective (when taken correctly and consistently), if the side effects that you are experiencing are making you close to miserable, you should absolutely share that with your healthcare provider because…what’s the sense in preventing pregnancy when you don’t even feel up to having sex because you don’t feel good or your sex drive is shot? More times than not, your provider can find you another pill brand or option that will help you to feel more like yourself.
With that out of the way, think about it — if going on the pill can produce side effects, why would going off of it…not? And this is where post-birth control syndrome comes in.
For the most part, it’s what can happen to your body once you decide to come off of birth control. Typically, the symptoms will last anywhere between 4-6 months and, although the symptoms seem to present themselves most intensely as it relates to going off of the pill, any hormone-related birth control (like IUDs, injections, patches, the ring or implants) could produce similar outcomes.
Outcomes like what?
- Irregular cycles
- Breakouts
- Excessive gas and/or bloating
- Weight gain
- Anxiety and/or depression
- Fertility issues
- Migraines and/or headaches
- Shifts in your libido
- Sleeplessness/restlessness
- Hair loss
Whoa, right? And if a part of you is wondering, “Okay, if this is indeed the case, why have I not heard of this syndrome before?” It’s because it’s not a term that conventional method uses nearly as much as alternative medicine does. Still, it makes all of the sense in the world that if your body has to adjust to an uptick in hormonal intake, it would also need to adjust to removing those extra doses of hormones from your system as well. COMMON. DAMN. SENSE.
Anyway, if you were thinking about taking a break from birth control and taking all of this in has you feeling a bit…let’s go with the word “trepidatious” about doing so, I totally get it. There are some things that you can do to make experiencing post-birth control syndrome either a non-issue or a far more bearable one, though.
7 Home Remedies That Can Make Coping with Post-Birth Control Syndrome Easier
Giphy1. Take a multivitamin.Something that’s fascinating about what going off of birth control can do is it sometimes has the ability to lower your nutrition levels as it relates to certain vitamins and minerals; this is especially the case when it comes to vitamins B, C, E and minerals like magnesium, selenium and zinc. So, if you don’t currently take a multivitamin, now would be the time to start (along with consuming foods that are particularly high in those nutrients as well).
2. Up your vitamin D intake. Speaking of nutrient levels, a vitamin level that commonly drops after going off of birth control isvitamin D. This is hella critical to keep in mind as a Black woman since many of us tend to be naturally deficient in the vitamin as-is and vitamin D is important when it comes to fighting off diseases, regulating weight and keeping your moods stabilized (for starters). So, make sure that your multivitamin has vitamin D in it. Also make sure to consume vitamin D-enriched foods like fatty fish, eggs, mushrooms, yogurt and fortified orange juice.
3. Drink herbal teas. Since going off of birth control will cause your hormones to be all over the place for a season, consider drinking some herbal teas that will help to stabilize them. Black cohosh contains phytoestrogen properties, Chasteberry can help to level out your prolactin levels and green tea can help your hormones out by helping to balance out your insulin (which can sometimes directly affect them).
4. Keep some ibuprofen nearby. The headaches and migraines? Until those subside, you and ibuprofen are probably going to become really good friends; although I will add that ginger tea and inhaling essential oils like chamomile and lavender can help to ease migraine-related symptoms too.
5. Do some meditating. Waiting for your hormones to get back on track can be stressful as all get out. That said, something that can get your cortisol (stress hormone) levels to chill out is to meditate. If meditation is new for you, check out “7 Meditation Hacks (For People Who Can't Seem To Do It).”
6. Get massages. As if you needed an excuse to get a massage, right (check out “12 Different Massage Types. How To Know Which Is Right For You.”)? However, there is some evidence to back the fact that regular massages (somewhere around once a month) can help to lower your stress, boost your dopamine, increase blood flow and drain your lymphatic system so that you will have more energy.
7. Sleep/rest more. There is plenty of scientific research out here which says that sleep deprivation can throw your hormones out of whack — and since your hormones are already trying to stabilize themselves, you definitely need to get 6-8 hours of sleep and not feel the least bit guilty about taking naps sometimes too.
____
Post-birth control syndrome may not be the most pleasant thing about getting off of birth control yet it is manageable. So, now that you know all about it, you can feel more confident about taking a birth control break (or getting off altogether) — without the surprises that can come with doing it. Give thanks.
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