It's happened to all of us. You sent a text. The recipient read it. Or at least that's what the read receipt says. And now, nothing. Silence. Crickets. Congratulations, you've just been left on read! I'm sorry, I know it's not a laughing matter. In fact, it doesn't feel good at all. It sucks. Especially if the person you texted was someone you were dating and really liked. You have so many questions. Was it something I said? Are they ghosting me? Are they mad at me? Have they found someone else? You can drive yourself crazy asking questions if you're not careful.
In all honesty, the answer could be in any of those questions above, or it could be really simple: they aren't texting you back because they don't want to text you back. And in those moments, the better question to ask is: what do you do when you're left on read?
Keep reading to learn what to do when the person you're into left you on read.
Put Down The Phone
I Am Free Text GIFGiphyNo, seriously, put the phone down. Find something else to occupy your time. Obsessing over why they aren't texting you will only give you more anxiety and make you feel worse about the lack of communication. Watch a movie, do your nails, or hell, reach out to someone who wants to talk to you. Whatever you do, stop obsessively checking your phone for the one person who isn't. Refocus your energy elsewhere.
Don't Double Text
beyonce no GIFGiphyI know you want to but I strongly advise against double texting. If you find that the person did intentionally leave you on read, double texting is usually a move that you'll eventually regret.
Double texting, especially out of context can reek of desperation, or worse, feel like a disregard of someone's obvious reluctance of not wanting to speak to you. Whatever their reason may be, the ball is in their court, so let them come to you.
Re-read Your Text(s)
Heben Nigatu Wtf GIF by anotherroundGiphyNow before I explain, it's important to note that you should only re-read your text one time. Do not obsessively read your text over and over. I recommend re-reading your text once to see if it warranted a response. A text exchange has to eventually end at some point, right? So maybe the text you sent didn't actually warrant a response. If that is truly the case, it may be OK to text again after a few days of no response.
However, if you do, make sure you are texting about something completely different so that it is clear that it is not an attempt at a continuation of the last conversation (hold off on the passive aggressive, "Thanks for ignoring me yesterday." Throw it away, just throw it all away). But if after re-reading your text you find that you asked a question or it was a statement that warranted a response, see above and do not double text!
Don’t Assume The Worst
No Way Smh GIFGiphyThere are multiple reasons why the person you texted could have unintentionally left you on read. They could have intended to text back, got super busy, and then forgot to circle back and text you. They may be sick. They may be dealing with some really heavy things right now like the death of a friend or family member, depression, or anxiety. This is why it's important to allow some time to pass between the conversation and the lack of follow-up.
As time passes, it will become clear whether leaving you on read was intentional or unintentional. Not only that, but it will also allow the person to reach back out to you when they are ready to have a conversation.
Don't Take It Personally
love and hip hop Sips GIF by VH1GiphyNo matter the reason, do not take being left on read personally. Remember that people's actions very rarely have anything to do with you and more to do with that person and what they are currently going through. What they do or don't do is solely on them. It is not a reflection of you, something you've done, or how they feel about you as much as it is a reflection of themselves in that moment in time.
Forget Him/Her
Boy Bye GIF by TinasheGiphyThe hard truth is that being left on read (especially for days, weeks, or months) could very well be the person's cowardly way of saying that they are no longer interested in dating you, being friends with you, or communicating with you. Some people prefer to ghost than to communicate their issues with you or hardships in life. If this is the case, think of it as them doing you a favor.
With them gone, you now have room to receive the relationships and friendships that you deserve.
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Featured image by Malcolm Roberson
My main motive? Mostly, I hope that it will serve as a solid reminder to embrace all of the things that you adore about this time of year, so long as you do it in moderation and you weigh the costs.
Especially as far as drinking alcohol is concerned.
PRO: Manages Blood Sugar Levels
GiphyHere’s something that you may have never seen coming. Were you aware of the fact that alcohol can actually help to stabilize your blood sugar? Yep, according to the American Diabetes Association, so long as you leave it to no more than 1-2 cocktails a day, alcohol may be able to lower your A1C levels. Pretty cool, right?
CON: It’s a Carcinogen
GiphyAlcohol is a carcinogen. The reason why this should somewhat alarm you is because carcinogens are things (like tobacco, UV rays, processed meats, etc.) that can increase your chances of being diagnosed with cancer (especially mouth, throat, esophagus, stomach and breast cancer). There are various ways this happens including the fact that alcohol, specifically, can hinder your body from breaking down certain nutrients, it can cause your estrogen levels to spike and alcohol can also cause certain toxins to damage your DNA and certain bodily proteins over time.
PRO: Cultivates Euphoric Feelings
GiphyIf you find yourself feeling more euphoric while you’re enjoying a drink, it’s not all up in your head. Although, for the more part, alcohol is considered to be a depressant, when consumed in small amounts, it can provide a stimulant effect. This happens due to the fact that when you first start to consume alcohol, it causes the production of the feel-good hormone known as dopamine to increase — and since dopamine makes us all feel more relaxed and confident while heightening our senses of pleasure too…well, there you have it.
CON: May Increase Anxiety/Depression
GiphyAs they say, “what goes up, most come down” at some point — and that is what you have to be careful of when it comes to alcohol consumption. For instance, when you drink alcohol, although it tends to initially cause your dopamine levels to uptick, because it is a temporary bodily response, sometimes the dips are lower than the rises…and that is when anxiety starts to kick in. A similar point is made with depression because oftentimes, people with depression-related symptoms, will use alcohol as a way to deflect from what’s really going on with them — and that can make them feel even worse than ever once the buzz of alcohol starts to wear off.
PRO: Has Some Heart-Related Benefits
GiphyWhen it comes to your heart, there are interesting findings surrounding its relationship to alcohol. For instance, some research states that, so long as the consumption is moderate, alcohol can actually help to increase the good cholesterol in your system while also breaking down proteins that can potentially lead to blood clots; both of these factors alone can reduce your chances of dying from heart disease.
CON: Packs on Pounds
GiphyIt’s no secret that alcohol tends to contain quite a few calories. That’s why, it’s not uncommon for people who’ve lost weight to mention “I’ve stopped drinking” as one of the causes for the shed pounds. That’s not to say that there aren’t some alcoholic beverages that have less calories than others including vodka (133 calories per serving), white wine (148 calories per serving) and tequila (99 calories per shot). Just keep in mind that the more you drink, the more calories get into your system and the more weight you stand to gain.
PRO: Lowers Inhibitions
GiphyAlthough you really should only be uninhibited around people who you absolutely trust, if that person is your partner and you’re looking to have a pretty — eh hem — active evening, alcohol can certainly help to make that happen. The science of it all is the prefrontal cortex of your brain is what regulates your inhibitions and levels of self-control. Meanwhile, alcohol suppresses your inhibitions which can cause you to be more spontaneous and open to trying things that you might not immediately do if you were sober. And with the right individual, that can be sexually beneficial (emphasis on “right person”).
CON: Makes It Harder to Orgasm
GiphyOn the other hand, as odd as it may seem (in light of what I just said), if you have too much alcohol in your system, it could make climaxing difficult. That’s because orgasms happen, in part, due to your nervous system being stimulated — and since alcohol is technically a depressant…well, it could reduce nerve sensitivity (especially as far as your clitoris goes) for you while making it challenging for your partner to remain erect or have consistent stamina. And yeah, that sucks.
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‘Tis the season. And with that, if some wassails or hot buttered rums are in your immediate future — hey, don’t let me stop you — not even a lil’ bit.
All I’m saying is now that you know what alcoholic drinks have to offer (both ways), you can know exactly how to incorporate them into your holiday plans. Enjoy!
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