Once upon a time, while I was on the internet looking for ways to inspire some of my couple clients to keep things both stimulating and exciting in their relationship, I stumbled upon an article on vision boards for couples. After reading through it, I found it to be so fresh and fun that I recommended it to a few people; it seemed to work like a charm.
Then, as I reflected on the countless amount of Instagram and TikTok posts that I’ve seen from single women who basically say that dating is trash and they are starting to lose all hope, I thought about what would happen if they decided to put a twist on the whole couples vision board thing and started vision board dating instead.
And just how in the heck do you “vision board date”? I’m so happy that you would ask. The method to the madness is this: since it’s been reported that a little over 80 percent of small business owners who create vision boards are able to achieve at least half of their own goals, and a little over 75 percent of those same business owners say that vision boards have helped them get to exactly where they envisioned — who says that the same practice can’t bring similar results to one’s dating life? Your dating life?
So, if you’re teetering on becoming hella cynical and not going on any dates in the foreseeable future, humor me and at least read through this first. It could be the “map” that ultimately gets you to where you want to go — as far as dating is concerned.
What Is a Vision Board?
Vision boards are proof that manifesting isn't passive, it's quite active.
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Okay, I’m not starting from this place to come off as patronizing or condescending; meaning, I get that most of you probably know what a vision board is. However, I do think that I should cover the bases, just so that we’re all on the same page about what you can expect from making one for yourself — because contrary to popular belief, there’s no so-called magic in it. Vision boards are all about manifestation, yes — but honestly, manifestation isn’t exactly “magical” either.
Vision boards aren’t based on that passive kind of manifesting that I’ve heard far too many people speak on — you know what I mean, “I’m not going to actively date anymore. I’m going to sit in my bedroom and ‘manifest’ a husband.” Chile, manifesting isn’t passive; it’s quite active. The word speaks to “perceiving something (or one) with a clarity of understanding” and then “proving beyond a shadow of a doubt” that what you saw was indeed the truth. Some synonyms for "manifesting" include "bold," "demonstrate," "reveal," "unmistakable," and "materialize."
So, when it comes to vision boards, they are a tangible tool that helps you do all of the things that I just said. You literally get a collection of images and/or objects together and arrange them in such a way that you are able to better focus on what it is that you want to, well, manifest. The things on your vision board help you to get clarity on what you want and then help you to put a plan into motion, so that you can prove, mostly to yourself, that what you desire is indeed possible.
Traditionally, vision boards are made by clipping out pictures or words and putting them on something like a corkboard or foam board; however, thanks to technology, you can also create a digital vision board, whether it’s through something like Canva (here) or an app (here).
If you want to learn more about how to create a vision board from scratch, check out our article, “Here's How To Take Your Vision Board To The Next Level.”
How Can You Apply Vision Boards to Your Dating Journey?
Before you get started with your vision board dating, ask yourself the important questions.
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Okay, so now that we’ve gotten vision boards, in general, out of the way, how can you apply the overall concept to your dating life? Well, in order to get started, here are some questions that you should ask yourself:
- What kind of man would you like to date?
- What types of things do you enjoy doing?
- What things would you like you and him to have in common?
- What is an ideal first date to you?
- What’s your idea of a dream date?
- What dates speak to your love language?
- Where are some places that you’ve always wanted to go?
- What are both your short as well as your long-term goals when it comes to dating?
- What are some words that you want to apply to your overall dating experience?
- What would you like to learn about yourself from dating during this season of your life?
Now, based on those 10 things/themes, find words, pictures, quotes, poetry — anything that you can either tack onto a physical board or you can copy and paste onto your digital vision board. Then, commit to spending 30 minutes a week looking at the board, adding to the board, and/or meditating on the board.
Why should meditation become a part of the process? It’s because there is scientific research that supports the fact that consistent and long-term meditation can literally “rewire your brain” by creating new neural connections. As a result, you will be able to reduce your stress levels, release negativity, and bring a greater sense of gratitude into your space.
Something else that meditation is able to do is help you to get rid of any self-doubt that you may have — and all of this can definitely help, greatly when it comes to improving your dating life.
Five Strong Benefits of Vision Board Dating
Vision board dating comes with its fair share of benefits.
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Aight, so even though I think that some surefire benefits of vision board dating have already been provided, I do want to touch on a few more points before you click off of here and create a dating vision board of your own (because that’s exactly what you’re gonna do…right?).
Some other reasons why you should vision board date as soon as possible?
1. Vision board dating can tame your “negativity bias.” It’s something we all have; it’s a natural inclination to see the negative side of things instead of the positive. This is something to take seriously because just like negativity can kill a relationship, it can also hinder you from getting one in the first place. For one thing, there’s research that says negativity can create anxiety levels; that can make it difficult to effectively communicate with others — and without communication, there is no real connection.
2. Vision board dating fuels your imagination. Albert Einstein once said, "Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions." You know, imagining things doesn’t get the full respect that it truly deserves. Research backs that it can help with making you a more curious person, it can help you to socially interact better with others, and it can also help you to become a better problem-solver. So, if you’re sick of lackluster dating experiences, imagine more. If you want to be more open to blind dates and hook-ups from friends, imagine more. If you want to meet your “the one” sooner than later — imagine more.
3. Vision board dating can help to “end the hamster wheel.” What I mean by that is, if you keep basically dating the same kind of man just in a different body, creating a board that isn’t just about your type or preference but is also about knowing who is good FOR you (check out “Question: Is The Man In Your Life Good 'TO' You? Good 'FOR' You? Or...Both?”) can help you to break that pattern. Find quotes that speak to who is holistically good for you; don’t just clip pictures of those who look good to you. Feel me? Next point.
4. Vision board dating can help you to “raise your own bar.” I don’t mean being unrealistic in your dating expectations; I mean that it can be fun for you to be like, “I really like day trips. I would love to do a couple of road trips to check out some sites with someone this year” and then you specify the sites on your board. It can also help you to clearly articulate some of your desires instead of always putting the pressure on the guy to try and read your mind in order to get you what you want.
5. Vision board dating is how you can reach your ultimate goal(s). Whether this year is all about dating better than you ever have before or ending the year with your own locked-in bae, if you take vision board dating seriously and literally, it can help you to reach those goals as you hone in on exactly what you desire and then meditate on those things. The reason why I say that is because reaching a goal consists, in part, of creating a plan — and a vision board helps you to do just that.
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You know, there’s a survey that says that back in 2022, as much as 61 percent of people found dating to be overwhelming. Overwhelmed is about feeling inundated, if not flat-out defeated. And oftentimes, overthinking, dwelling in the past, or putting too much pressure on yourself can lead to feeling overwhelmed when it comes to dating.
Calm those emotions by getting it all out on your vision board.
Because you know what they say: “If you build it, he will come.” #wink
Now get off of this thing and get to creating, sis. And definitely keep us posted!
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Now, with more than 20 years of experience in professional aviation, starting with American Eagle Airlines and then on to becoming a captain at American Airlines, she has continued to pay it forward. In 2022, she made history as the first commercial airline captain to lead an all-Black, women-led flight crew. She has also written a biography on Bessie Coleman, the first African-American and Native-American woman to earn a pilot’s license, and produced and directed, Discovering Bessie Coleman, working alongside the family to get the project completed. Add to that her role as a founder of consulting firm LadyAv8rBeth, which offers a guide of pathways into aviation, and as a podcast host covering all things aviation.
For Women’s History Month, xoNecole caught up with the busy pilot, in between flights, to talk about her career journey, her role in a Bessie Coleman documentary and book, how she balances self-care and safety, and how other Black women can add to the aviation legacy:
xoNecole: You’ve built an successful career in aviation. And you were only 15 and already had your first flight. Were you afraid at all, or did it feel like second nature to you?
Beth Powell: It felt completely natural. There was no fear, just excitement and curiosity.
Now, it’s what they call STEM, and my teacher at the time thought that I was really good at numbers. He recommended three career paths, and I tried the first one.
I didn't understand why it made sense back then at 15, but as I grew up and met other pilots, I recognized that the reason I liked math and physics was that we were technical learners. So we like to break things apart and put them back together. We like to check procedures. We like to write manuals. We were technical artists.
xoN: That’s such an important message. Many young women and girls are often discouraged from pursuing careers in STEM or aviation, so it’s incredible to hear your story. Now, fast forward a bit—how did you transition into your corporate career with larger airlines?
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BP: After that first discovery flight, I quickly finished my high school classes and graduated at 16. By 17, I had earned my private pilot’s license, and by 18, my commercial license. Then, I moved to the U.S. to attend flight school in Florida. While working on my degree in professional aeronautics, I began working for American Eagle Airlines at just 21. Over the years, I’ve built my career and have now spent 25 years in the airline industry, including 14 years at American Eagle and 11 years at American Airlines. In terms of leadership, being a captain is key.
As a captain, I’m responsible for the aircraft, the crew, and the passengers. It’s a huge responsibility, and you learn a lot about leadership when you’re in charge of so much.
Being a captain definitely teaches you leadership. You’re in charge of every aspect of the flight from the moment you sign in to the moment you sign out. From overseeing the crew to managing the safety and well-being of passengers, you have to make quick decisions and take responsibility. Even when you’re starting out as a first officer, you’re learning vital leadership skills that prepare you for the captain role.
xoN: There's a lot going on with airlines right now that might make someone feel afraid in terms of some of the tragedies that have recently happened. How do you sustain your self-care balance and your resilience in the aviation industry when those sorts of things happen?
BP: I truly believe that aviation is still the safest and the No. 1 safest means of transportation. I say that proudly. For any airline, any pilot, any air traffic controller—anyone who works in the industry—safety is our number one priority. However, of course, we see things happening in the news, and it is concerning to passengers.
What I'm telling everybody to do right now, including myself, is that it's very important to have your source of strength. I'm a Christian, and one of my sources of strength is prayers. I go deep within my prayers every morning, and I pray to God, giving things that I can't control to him, and the rest— I can do my best to deal with.
No. 2 is meditation on the Deepak Chopra app. Ever since COVID happened, that was the first time I thought that I needed something more than just my prayers to help me go through to calm down the noise around me.
And last but not least, I'm really big on self-development. I read, I read, and I read. If your foundation is strong, you have something to build from. And so, when I read, I learn a lot about myself. I learn about what triggers me and when something triggers me. I literally hear the Kendrick Lamar song, "TV Off" in my head, because sometimes you need to shut the noise off.
xoN: That's amazing—the combination of faith and just being excellent at what you do. Now, how did you get involved with the Bessie Coleman project?
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BP: I sit on the board of advisers for an organization called Sisters of the Skies, and was at a gala celebrating with all our Black women of our achievements. At the end of the night, Dr. Sheila Chamberlain walked up to me. She was the first Black woman U.S. combat intelligence aviator in the Army. So, if she's walking up to me, it's very serious. She said, ‘I have a favor to ask.’ I said, ‘Yes.’ I did not hear what the favor was. I didn't know what she was going to ask me, but somebody like that walking up to you saying, ‘a favor’? The answer is yes.
She told me [the project involved] helping the Bessie Coleman family elevate the story. ‘I'd like you to ask your company if they will do a flight in honor of Bessie Coleman.’ I went to the different departments at American Airlines, and the rest was literally history. We did that flight on August 8, 2022, and it became a historical flight because everyone on that flight, from the ground up, was a Black woman.
Gigi Coleman, Bessie’s grand-niece, was also on that flight. We started chatting at the end of the flight. Another night, we were hanging out—Sheila, Gigi, and I—and she kept telling me she wanted to write a book, that she wished there was a movie, and that people approached her about it. Nothing had been done as yet. And I thought, sounds like another mission.
I literally took it on. We do have a documentary with the family sharing their perspective of who Bessie Coleman is. And we do have a book called Queen of the Skies.
xoN: For the young women who are looking for career paths in aviation, what are some skills they need to thrive?
BP: While you don't necessarily have to love math to be a pilot, technical knowledge is important. You’ll need to understand aircraft systems and aerodynamics. This includes weather patterns and instrument training. It might seem daunting at first, but the great thing about flight training is that it builds on itself. The more you learn, the more it all clicks. Also, aviation is constantly changing, and you need to be adaptable.
It’s a field where you need to be ready for anything, from unexpected weather to technical issues. Being open to learning new things and adjusting to change is crucial.
My daughter, who has her private pilot’s license, once said, “This journey is both challenging and rewarding. I feel like I’ve grown so much since starting.” It’s important to keep going, even when it gets tough.
To help others, I’m outlining how they can go from “zero to hero” as a pilot. I offer this information freely on my Instagram account, and it’s something I’m passionate about sharing. I want everyone to have access to the resources they need to follow their dreams.
For more information on Beth Powell, the Bessie Coleman documentary, and aviation career resources, visit LadyAv8rBeth.com.
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