

Back when I read TIME’s article, “You Asked: Why Do I Always Wake Up at 3 A.M.?”, I found it to be fascinating that sleep apnea, acid reflux, and even aging can play a direct role in why some of us are able to fall asleep easily — only to wake up, almost right on the dot, at 3 a.m. As far as aging, specifically, goes, even though things like exercise and even keeping your thermostat down to a cooler setting can help to make getting some uninterrupted rest easier, so can consuming certain beverages.
And since this is the time of year when it’s cooler in the day and even frostier at night, I figured that this would be as good a time as any to share 12 warm drinks to sleep that can help you to get the quality of sleep that you’re after. So, if you’re looking for something to complement your new set of PJs and flannel sheets, how about getting yourself a new coffee mug to pour one (or more) of these drinks into it?
12 Warm Drinks To Sleep
1. Milk (or a Milk Alternative) and Honey
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Personally, I don’t know anyone who had a hard time falling asleep while growing up who wasn’t offered a warm cup of milk at some point. And as much as you might think that it’s more of a sleeping agent myth than anything, actually, there’s science to back why it’s a good idea. Something that milk contains is the amino acid tryptophan (the same thing that’s in turkey, for example), and that is known to make a person drowsy (for starters). That’s because it helps to trigger the production of serotonin and melatonin — two things that help you sleep better at night. The reason why you should add a teaspoon of honey to it is because not only can it calm middle-of-the-night cravings, but it literally provides your brain with the fuel that it needs to stay asleep as well.
And what if milk isn’t your thing (due to it being dairy)? I get that. Milk alternatives work, too. Most of them contain quite a bit of calcium, which also gets tryptophan going — so, whether it’s almond, oat, coconut, or something else, still give this option a shot. As an adult.
2. Passionflower Tea
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Whether you’ve had a rough day at work or there’s so much on your mind that you already know that falling asleep is going to be a challenge, passionflower tea is definitely something that you should have in your personal tea collection. The properties of this tea make it the kind that is great for making you feel calmer and more relaxed. In fact, many health professionals find its antioxidants to be so powerful that, to them, it’s an immediate go-to if you have anxiety or struggle with insomnia.
As a bonus, passionflower is also a tea that can help lower your blood pressure and decrease symptoms that are associated with menopause, like hot flashes, night sweats, and headaches.
3. Spiced Apple Juice (Warmed Up)
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Speaking of antioxidants, something else that is full of them is apple juice. And since (pure) apple juice is nothing but, well, juiced apples — if you’re looking to stabilize your blood sugar levels, reduce your cholesterol, ease inflammation, or get you to not overeat (especially at night), a cup of apple juice won’t do you a lick of harm. Hmph. Come to think of it, if you really want to get the most out of drinking apples, go with apple cider. The difference between it and juice is that it’s unfiltered and unpasteurized.
Anyway, if you add some cloves to the juice or cider, the cloves will not only spice up the drink, but they will also decrease inflammation, fight off free radicals, and treat stomach ulcers — if that is the cause of you not being able to rest very well. Fresh cloves or clove powder will do. A teaspoon in a cup of warm apple juice or cider that has been zapped in the microwave for about a minute or warmed up on the stove (my personal favorite) is all that you need.
4. Gotu Kola Tea
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A tea that has been hailed for its medicinal benefits in Southeast Asia is gotu kola tea. Believe it or not, a lot of women like it because it’s been known to reduce bloating and even soften the appearance of stretch marks (wild, right?). Sleep-wise, it’s another tea that can help to decrease anxiety and stress and treat insomnia, and if you’re someone who has a difficult time sleeping due to any joint discomfort, gotu kola can help in that department, too.
Another thing worth mentioning is the antioxidant and anti-inflammatory properties in this tea have even helped to heal varicose veins in some people. Yeah, you might not hear about this tea every day, but clearly, it’s a best-kept secret for a myriad of reasons.
5. Golden Milk
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Not familiar with the term “golden milk”? It’s basically milk that contains the spice turmeric along with two other spices — cinnamon and ginger. The combination makes for a powerhouse drink, thanks to all of the antioxidants that work to reduce bodily inflammation, lower blood sugar levels, get your mood all the way together, improve digestion, and thanks to its antibacterial, antiviral, and antifungal properties, it can help to keep you from catching a cold too.
Since some studies cite that turmeric can actually keep you from experiencing sleep deprivation, cinnamon contains the compound cinnamaldehyde that fights insomnia, and ginger is a natural remedy for headaches as well as muscle and joint pain — next time you’re at the store, pick some of these spices up. On the sleep tip, their benefits just might surprise you.
6. Mulled Blackberry Vanilla Mocktail
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Have you ever wondered what mulled wine actually is? It’s basically wine that has fruit and spices in it that’s been warmed up. Okay, but what if you like the concept of a warmed-up fruity drink, but alcohol isn’t what you have in mind? Why not make a mulled cocktail instead? If it consists of blackberries, you’ll be taking in plant compounds that will help to keep your gut healthy, support heart and oral health, fight against pre-cancer cells, increase your cognitive health, and even keep cold sores at bay.
As far as this particular topic goes, blackberries are good for you because the antioxidants in them can help to bring your stress levels down. And vanilla? Word on the street is that vanilla extract can help to reduce snoring (thanks to its compound vanillin, which can help to keep your respiratory system in good shape).
Plus, if you can’t seem to fall asleep due to a toothache, next to cloves (clove oil is BOMB), vanilla extract can help you out in that department, too. If you want to give it a shot, I’ve got a recipe for you right here.
7. Magnolia Bark Tea
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Something that’s very popular in traditional Chinese and Japanese medicine is magnolia bark — and yes, it’s exactly what it sounds like: bark from a magnolia tree. Since its got anti-inflammatory, antimicrobial, and antidepressant properties, I’m sure you get why so many rely on it for their overall health and well-being. Sleep-wise, it can help to reduce oxidative stress and bodily inflammation. It’s also another one of those teas that can make getting through menopause easier; that’s because it helps to reduce hot flashes and irritability.
Magnolia bark tea also contains the compounds magnolol and honokiol; the first keeps the chemicals in your brain balanced, and the second has studies that say it can help you fall asleep faster.
8. Warm Turmeric Latte
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Because turmeric is so good at putting so many to sleep, I wanted to offer up another option than just golden milk. A turmeric latte is one that has turmeric and milk (of course) while also adding in some cinnamon, ginger, vanilla extract, and a bit of black pepper. The black pepper is nothing to — pardon the pun — sleep on since the piperine that’s in it can actually help to produce more serotonin — the neurotransmitter that helps you to maintain the sleep cycle that your body needs.
Listen, chai lattes (lattes with black tea as the “base”) are my jam, so I am totally down to give this latte take a shot. If you are, try this recipe here.
9. Pomegranate Juice with Cinnamon
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If you’d like to try another juice blend, how about pomegranate? Off top, pomegranates are good for you because they are a good source of vitamin C, fiber, and folate. The properties in them help to reduce inflammation, protect your heart, make digestion easier, increase your workout performance, and even help to keep kidney stones from becoming an issue. The reason why I decided to add it to the “sleep agent” list is because it’s yet one more drink that can help with sleeplessness that’s directly associated with menopause.
We’ve already talked about cinnamon; add it if you want to put some “kick” into your juice. Just make sure that you go with 100 percent pure pomegranate juice. That cocktail stuff has so much sugar in it that drinking it will literally be counterproductive as far as getting a good night’s rest is concerned.
10. Hot (Dark) Chocolate
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Got a weakness for dark chocolate? That’s something that you can definitely feel good about (check out “12 Ways Dark Chocolate Can Benefit Your Body From Head To Toe”). Aside from its health benefits like being off-the-charts when it comes to its copper, magnesium, and iron content, it’s been proven that dark chocolate can increase blood circulation, improve brain function, and boost your libido too. It’s also a sweet way to catch some z-z-z’s thanks to its flavanols that can prevent your circadian rhythms from being distracted by the effects of sleep deprivation or psychological stress. Yeah, ain’t nothin’ like some piping cup of dark chocolate with a few marshmallows. Treat yo’ self.
11. Lavender Tea
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Out of all of the drinks on this list, you’re probably not surprised that lavender tea is on it. Lavender has a long-standing reputation for being a natural relaxant. That’s because it does everything from reducing stress levels and heart rates to soothing symptoms associated with menstrual pain and headaches. My two cents, sip on some lavender tea and rub a bit of pure lavender oil on the soles of your feet (read about why here) about 90 minutes before bedtime. I’ve been doing this with either lavender or CBD oil for some time now — and the quality of rest is unmatched, y’all. UN-FREAKIN’-MATCHED.
12. Cranberry Hot Toddies (Possibly…)
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When it comes to drinking alcohol before going to bed, it’s a bit of a layered topic. From what I’ve read and researched, the general consensus is that while it can make you initially drowsy and get you into a state of sleep, it tends to disrupt your rest in the middle of the night — and that could send you to tossing and turning. Since this has never been an issue for me (alcohol will put me out like a light), if you don’t mind having a sip of somethin’ sometimes at bedtime, I’ll end with a cranberry hot toddy suggestion.
As far as cranberries go, they’re another fruit that is full of antioxidants and fiber. They’re also good at fighting and preventing UTIs, stomach ulcers, and kidney stones. And since cranberries are also a good source of vitamin C, they can help you to both fall and stay asleep.
As far as what a hot toddy actually consists of, a few years back, I penned “10 Ways Alcohol Can Be Good For You Past A Great Buzz” for the platform. Whiskey or bourbon (which is a whiskey that’s made with 51 percent corn) and lemon help to qualify it. Since bourbon can boost your immunity and relieve congestion as lemon does the same — why not at least try this recipe here?
It could quickly be your favorite weekend (better to do the alcohol thing on the days when you don’t have to work) sleep solution. And with that said, and to all — with the help of these drinks, of course — a good night.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Men And Women Like To Be Touched Differently. Why Is That?
Any time I hear someone say that their primary love language is physical touch and then someone else says something snarky like, “So basically, you just want to have sex all of the time” in response — I can tell how ignorant that second individual is. Physical touch isn’t just about sexual intimacy, not by a long shot. I say that because, the reality is, basic human touch is something that all people need — some just more than others.
There is quite a bit of science to back this up too. For instance, physical touch can lower stress and boost immunity. Physical touch makes us calmer and more compassionate. Physical touch reduces pain and anxiety. Physical touch helps to cultivate emotional intimacy with other people. Physical touch creates comfort and pleasure. Bottom line, physical touch does so much for us which is why we should learn as much about it as we possibly can.
That’s not to say that all of us desire to be touched in the same fashion, though. For example, did you know that there is quite a bit of research to support the fact that men and women (overall) long to be touched in different ways?
In the effort that we all become more “fluently effective” when it comes to how we “speak” the language of physical touch to those around us (especially when it comes to our partner), let’s explore how a man wants to be touched vs. how a woman prefers to be.
Men and Women Are Different. Even When It Comes to Touch. Why, Though?
Before I get into some things that I discovered about men and women when it comes to where they prefer to be touched and how those places differ from one another, first let’s — pardon the pun — touch on why there is even a difference in the first place. Apparently, because women’s fingers are naturally softer, they are better when it comes to touch discrimination. What is that? Touch discrimination is basically having the ability to tell the difference between different types of touch sensations. And this is probably a big part of the reason why research also says that when compassion, anger, or happiness is conveyed through touch, men and women tend to respond/react a bit differently as well.
Case in point: One study stated that when two men try to convey compassion through touch, it doesn’t really resonate well, although men can detect anger, even through the slightest touch, extraordinarily well. And happiness? Well, when two women are sharing that feeling through touch, it is clearly conveyed — meanwhile, between a man and a woman or two men? Yeah, not so much.
The thought process for these three emotions is, when it comes to compassion because women have been the prominent caregivers throughout history, they have “mastered” the ability to express it. Anger? Remember, men are good at detecting it — studies say that it’s because they tend to feel and express anger more often; I’d venture to say that being protectors and providers requires being aware of that emotion far more often as well. Happiness? Reportedly, women tend to be happier more often than men are and they also convey their emotions, openly, more than men do too.
How Men Feel About Physical Touch (Overall)
Okay, so when it comes to unique things about men and women as it relates to touch, let’s start with the fellas, out the gate. I wanna do that because, when I was doing my research on all of this, I immediately came across something that proved what I just said in the intro. What part in particular? Did you know that, even when it comes to truly platonic friendships, men still wish that their female friends would engage in physical touch more than women do (via their male friends)?
That’s because, even when it comes to intimacy among friends, physical touch displays trust and a feeling of closeness — and research says that men find that to be valuable. And so yes, this does amplify the point that physical touch and the need for it go well beyond sexual intimacy.
Still, I’m sure that it comes as absolutely no surprise that if you were to ask a group of men and women who prefer the love language of physical touch more, it’s going to be men (especially if they are over the age of 45). And while there are many theories for why this is the case, mine is that, since men are traditionally known and expected to be providers and protectors and that is hard work, I think they feel safe, reassured, seen, validated and deeply cared for through physical touch. It’s a way for them to get “off of the clock” from using touch to take care of others to being touched in a nurturing way.
Some other interesting things about men and touch is, although women seem to be more at ease with being touched overall, guys are more comfortable with being touched by strangers, especially in a flirty way (in part, because they process it as a potential for “opportunity” — read between the lines there), they prefer women touching them over being touched by men and they are known to initiate touch more if who they are touching is a woman.
And what about touch as it relates to sexual intimacy? Well, according to science, while both men and women enjoy their genital region, lips, ears, shoulders, and inner thighs to be caressed, men also respond to the back of their legs to be touched while women barely even acknowledge that part of their body (in this way). Men also consider their hands to be an erogenous zone far more than women do. It should also be noted that men are more aroused by touching their partner than being touched by them.
How Women Feel About Physical Touch (Overall)
So, what about women and touch? Well, something that is associated with women quite a bit is affective touch. If you’re not familiar with what that is, affective touch is all about having the ability to touch in a way that cultivates feeling and emotion. Not only do women tend to be better at doing it, but they also find it to be a more pleasurable experience than men do. Research says that this is because of the fact that, overall, women have had more positive experiences, as it related to touch than men.
Something else that is interesting about affective touch is women who express themselves through touch are typically considered to be more affectionate and trusting as opposed to men who touch a lot. And so, since women like to give affective touch, they are also highly responsive to it — and that could explain why women like to touch and be touched (like reaching out to touch someone’s hand) when someone is sharing their thoughts and feelings with them.
Another thing to note about women and touch is because their pain perception is a lot more sensitive than men’s, even slight adjustments in touch (pressure, temperature shifts in body parts, etc.) will affect them in a way that won’t affect men. When it comes to sexual intimacy, specifically, this could explain why even a slight shift in touch can bring a woman into or take a woman out of the mood far easier and quicker than it would a guy’s.
Something else that should go on record here is how women respond to touch based on their menstrual cycle. For instance, when a woman is ovulating, she tends to be more sensitive to touch; plus, she also finds kissing to be more of a priority. Meanwhile, the drastic shifts in hormones during menopause and postmenopause can make women less sensitive to touch.
As far as sex and sexual stimulation go, women reportedly like to be touched more than to touch. Also, when a man looks into a woman’s eyes while touching her, that increases her arousal levels significantly (men prefer women to gaze at their genitalia; not sure if anyone is shocked there — LOL). Places where they prefer to be touched include their breasts, neck, and butt; some even say that they can orgasm just from being stimulated in those spots (along with their lips and ears). As far as the type of touch that is most effective for women during copulation, oral reigns.
And what about how men feel about oral sex? Well, I once read an article that said that 27 percent of the male participants in their study would rather get some fellatio tonight than receive a raise, so…you do the math. LOL (while we’re on the topic of oral sex, a little over 50 percent of men and women find it to be more intimate than intercourse and consider refusal to engage to be a relationship deal-breaker. Agreed).
Okay, so with all of this intel on how men and women differ in the touch department, what does all of this even mean? To me, it’s a blaring reminder that even something as simple as touching has billions of layers to it — that even though touch is something that we all need, the art of it is something that must be studied and mastered; especially when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex and even more so when that person is our partner.
And yet, we shouldn’t take this information lightly because, when you (again) factor in all of the ways that touch is holistically beneficial…just imagine how much better intimacy would be, on all levels, if we respected how people prefer to be touched more often.
A poet by the name of John Keats once said, “Touch has a memory.” Think about that the next time you reach out to touch someone — and they reach out to touch you. Then ask yourself: what memories do you want them to have? What memories do you want to keep?
How can all of this data help to make that happen?
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