Women of color receive less support in the workplace. According to the Harvard Business Review, it's one of the reasons why there's only 4% of women of color in the C-suite. The lack of support at work is the reason why mentorship is such a vital ingredient to our career success.
More and more women are stepping up to the plate to mentor the next generation. They're making mentorship a priority because paying it forward is a responsibility, and they want to break the mentality that you have to get to the top alone.
Here are four women who share how stepping into a role of mentorship has been one of their greatest rewards.
Manessa Lormejuste
Cosmetic Chemist at L'Oreal USA
Courtesy of Manessa Lormejuste
Why is mentorship important to you?
Mentorship is important to me because I recall being a young girl interested in STEM and not having a mentor to model myself after as I've grown older and realized that not only am I a thriving WOC but that my deep roots in STEM can allow me to be a resource for others. By extending my experiences and expertise to others, I can be that role model I didn't have growing up.
When and why did you first become a mentor?
I first became an official mentor in 2017 through the Intrepid Sea, Air, and Space Museum in NYC. At that time, I was mentoring a group of four young women from NYC who were interested in STEM. I had just completed my undergraduate degree in Chemistry, and I was looking for a way to give back. Young women are often discouraged from seeking careers in the sciences since it is traditionally male-dominated. I wanted to be living proof that not only can women succeed in science but that I didn't have to change my femininity to do so. Since then, I have mentored at least five more young women at various steps in their development.
"By extending my experiences and expertise to others, I can be that role model I didn't have growing up."
What's been the biggest reward of mentoring?
The biggest reward of mentoring was that the relationship is mutually beneficial. My mentees were actively interested in engineering and technology. While that is not where my experience lies, they were able to teach me a wealth of knowledge about programming platforms that were integrated into their project. Being able to also learn from them was rewarding. One of my mentees went on to intern at NASA doing complex research. Another one of the young ladies I mentored started her college journey at MIT.
In my role at L'Oreal, when I get a chance to mentor the incoming interns, the biggest reward is seeing how they value my experience. I am an open book which allows us to have natural conversations about their growth and development. Seeing them thrive makes it all worthwhile.
How has mentoring changed your life?
Mentoring has changed my life as I have been able to connect with many young women who would not have known about a career such as mine. Mentoring has also allowed me to be more confident in myself and stick true to my beliefs. As I continue to pour into my mentees based on my own experiences, I realize that the life I have chosen to pursue was not a mistake, but what I was destined to do.
Nekasha Pratt
Director of Marketing, Tennessee Department of Tourist Development
Courtesy of Nekasha Pratt
Why is mentorship important to you?
Mentoring is important because everyone needs help and guidance as they move throughout their career. It goes back to the proverb "Each one, teach one" and the fact that we can all help each other be better.
When and why did you first become a mentor?
I became a "Big Sister" with Big Brothers Big Sisters almost four years ago. The organization was doing community outreach to attract new mentors, and once I learned the number of children waiting for mentors, I reached out to volunteer. I always wanted to get more involved locally, and I thought not only could I mentor a young woman, but she and I could volunteer in the community together. It's one of the best decisions I've ever made.
In addition to Big Brothers Big Sisters, I've also been a mentor with the tnAchieves program, which is Tennessee's scholarship program that connects mentors with high school students working towards earning a post-secondary credential. Additionally, I'm currently a business mentor with Pathway Women's Business Center, which helps business owners grow and expand their businesses. I've had a total of six mentees in the last four years.
How has mentoring changed your life?
I am a better person and leader because I'm a mentor. My listening and communication skills have improved, and my patience and empathy have increased. I enjoy helping others achieve their goals, so I also have an increased sense of personal pride from seeing a person I mentored succeed.
Carjie Scott
Higher Education Administrator
Courtesy of Carjie Scott
Why is mentorship important to you?
We all need relationships with people who hold us accountable, challenge us to do great things, and set the example on how to do it. My frame of mind is to help others realize that it doesn't matter where you come from, what you look like, what society deems you to be, or the like. Instead, I want mentees to know their value, profit off their talents, and surround themselves with people who appreciate them. Therefore, I'm paying it forward with that mentality now. I know that this was something that I was born to do; so, every opportunity I get to help someone, I use it.
What did your mentee have that made you want to invest more time with her/him/they?
My mentee relationships are casual. I am a phone call or email away; when someone needs help, I assist them. I have found mentees through programs like TN Promise, a grant program for students interested in attending college for free in TN. I have also found mentees organically through my volunteer work throughout Nashville. I believe that it's up to the mentee to call me their mentor, but even without the title or the formal ask, I am here to help when I can. One thing I've learned is, when people ask you to be their mentor, no matter their age or perceived skill set, you should help them. People have asked me to mentor them, and I immediately thought, "Why is she asking me? I should be asking them." Those have been my best relationships.
"One thing I've learned is, when people ask you to be their mentor, no matter their age or perceived skill set, you should help them."
What's been the biggest reward of mentoring?
The biggest reward from mentoring is seeing mentees use the advice I gave and watching them grow and prosper. I also feel good about giving back to others. I recognize that it takes a village and I'm honored to have one. If it weren't for mentors being there for me, I wouldn't be the person I am today.
How has mentoring changed your life?
Mentoring has made me a better person, and I think it has made others better. It has increased my relationships with others and allowed me the chance to encourage others to do their very best. It makes me live a purpose-driven life because I know that people are looking up to me. I understand that I can't give the shirt off my back if I don't have a shirt on. So, it makes me take care of myself, so I can care for others.
Crystle Johnson
Sr. Consultant, Inclusion, Diversity & CSR at Electronic Arts
Courtesy of Crystle Johnson
Why is mentorship important to you?
Mentorship is important to me because we don't know what we don't know. Mentorship allows us to level up our knowledge in areas where we have gaps and opportunities to help us grow.
When and why did you first become a mentor?
I became a mentor because I wanted to be everything that I needed to other professionals who look like me. I struggled a lot at the start of my career because I didn't know how to ask for help and didn't have examples of what success could look like for me. For the last few years, I've set aside a few hours each week to listen and answer questions from women who reach out to me for career navigation advice. I've even started a podcast, Read My Lipstick, that highlights the stories of ordinary women of color who are doing extraordinary things every day.
What did your mentee have that made you want to invest more time with her/him/they?
My style of mentoring is organic. When mentoring others, there is one thing that I look for: humility. If you're willing to lay it all out there and ask for help, I'm here to help you break down the barriers that lie ahead.
How has mentoring changed your life?
Mentoring has given me a sense of purpose and accomplishment. We don't have to fly to the moon or cure cancer to be extraordinary. Through empowering, supporting, and sharing with those who need it -- we are extraordinary.
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Anyway, I personally think that the less shallow folks out here may contemplate calling things “quits” or they at least distance themselves a bit from their partner (and what I’m referring to is serious relationships) due to all of the stress and strain that oftentimes comes with the holidays whether it be financial, familial, due to their tight schedules or something else.
Listen, I would hate for you and your man to miss the fun and happiness of experiencing this time of year, all because you are so overwhelmed or irritated that you can’t really enjoy it. That’s why I have a few practical tips for how to avoid allowing the typical holiday season stress from INFECTING your relationship.
Manage Your Expectations
GiphyUnmanaged expectations. If there is a main reason why the holiday season tends to be so stress-filled for so many people, I’d bet good money that this is the cause. And when you’re in a long-term relationship, expectations can manifest themselves in all sorts of cryptic and/or unexpected ways. You might have relatives who assume that you are going to be with them for Thanksgiving or Christmas when you have other plans in mind. You might be thinking that you are going to spend one amount for presents while your man is thinking something totally different. When it comes to scheduling, your signals may be crossed.
And you know what? To all of these scenarios, this is where clear and consistent communication come in. Don’t assume anything. Don’t dictate anything either. From now until New Year’s, mutually decide to check in once a week, just to make sure that you are both on the same page as it relates to the holidays and what you both are thinking will come along with it. The less blindsided you both feel, the less stressed out you will be. Trust me on this.
Set (and Keep) a Budget
GiphyOkay, so I read that last year, 36 percent of Americans incurred some type of holiday-related debt. Hmph. Last year, there was still some sense of normalcy in this country, chile, so I can only imagine what finances are gonna look like over the next several weeks. That said, since I don’t know a lot of people who don’t find being broke stressful, make sure that you and your bae set a budget and then stick to it this year — no ifs, ands or buts.
Because really, y’all — it doesn’t make sense to deplete savings and/or max out credit cards for a few days of giggles only to be damn near losing your mind because you don’t know how to make ends meet come Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.
And by the way, this tip doesn’t just speak to things like food and gifts; I also mean travel. If it doesn’t make a ton of sense (or cents) to be all over the place this year — DON’T BE.
Keep Matthew 5:37 at the Forefront
GiphyIf off the top of your head, you don’t know what Matthew 5:37 says, no worries, here ya go: “But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one.” That verse right there? Oh, it’s a boundaries lifesaver! I say that because do you see “maybe” or “I’ll think about it” in there? Nope. LOL. It says that you should tell people “yes” or “no” and leave it at that — and that complements Anne Lamott’s quote, “’No’ is a complete sentence” impeccably well. Yeah, you’ve got to remember that anything beyond a yes or no to a request is privileged information; you don’t owe anyone details or an explanation.
Besides, if you are really honest with yourself, when someone asks you something and you give a “Umm, let me think about it” kind of reply, more times than not, you already know what your answer is going to be — so why not let you both off of the hook? Give your response. Commit to that. And let everyone (including yourself) get on with their lives and schedules.
I promise you that when it comes to those holiday parties, you are pissing more folks off by not RSVP’ing or doing so and not showing up than just saying, “Thank you but not this year” off the rip.
Remember That Your Personal Space Is Privilege Not a Right
GiphyA friend of mine recently bought a new house and invited me over to come see it. He’s a single man with no children, so as I was taking in all of the space that he had, especially as I walked through his finished basement, I joked about relatives coming to live with him. “Hell no” and “absolutely not” were pretty much his immediate responses as he went on to say that some folks even had the nerve to be offended when he told them that he had no intentions on taking DNA in.
Ain’t it wild how people think that your stuff is their right? And yes, that brings me to my next point. Your home is your sanctuary space. If you want to host folks this year — cool. If not, ALSO COOL. Please don’t let folks (family included) guilt you into how they want you to act or even into what they would do if the shoe was on the other foot. You are not them — and as one of my favorite quotes states, “If two people were exactly alike, one of them would be unnecessary.” (A man by the name Larry Dixon said that.)
Hell, my friends? They know that I am good for sending them random things that they need or even want all throughout the year. Coming over to hang out at my pace, though. Uh-uh. Chalk it up to being a card-carrying member of the ambivert club yet I like keeping my living space personal — and I sleep like a baby, each and every night, for feeling that way.
Always remember that your space, your time, your resources, your energy and shoot, yourself period (including your relationship), are all things that are your own. You get to choose how, when and why you want to share them. The holiday season is certainly no exception.
Cultivate Some “You Two Only” Traditions
GiphyIt’s not uncommon for some couples to hit me up after the holiday season to “detox.” Sometimes it’s due to the financial drama (and sometimes trauma) that they experienced. Sometimes it’s because they allowed their relatives (especially in-laws) to get more into their personal business than they should’ve. More than anything, though, it tends to be because they didn’t get enough quality time together and so ended up feeling “disconnected.”
Please don’t let that happen. Listen, I’m not even a holidays kind of woman and yet, I will absolutely sit myself down with some hot chocolate and chocolate chip cookies to enjoy a Hallmark holiday film or two. Aside from the fact that most of them are lighthearted and sweet, I also like that they usually focus on couples loving on each other amidst all of the holiday beauty and ambiance — which is something that all couples should set aside some time to do.
Maybe it’s a vacation. Maybe it’s a staycation. Or maybe it’s my personal favorite, A SEXCATION. Whether it’s for a few days, the weekend or even overnight — don’t you let the holidays go by without setting aside time for you and your man to celebrate one another. Don’t you dare (check out “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?”).
GET. SOME. REST.
GiphyI once read that 8 out of 10 people get stressed out over the holidays and 3 out of 10 lose sleep during to it — and when you’re stress-filled and sleep-deprived, that can absolutely lead to hypersensitivity, making mountains out of molehills and even not being in the mood for sex.
Your relationship can’t afford to go through any of this, so definitely make sure to prioritize rest. I don’t care how unrealistic it might seem during this time, sleep should never be seen as a luxury; it will always and forever be a great necessity.
That said, try to get no less than six hours of shut-eye in (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”) and even ask your bae to take a nap with you sometimes (check out “Wanna Have Some Next-Level Sex? Take A Nap, Sis.”). Not only will sleep help to restore your mind, body and spirit but, when it’s with your partner, it’s an act of intimacy that can make you both feel super connected, even in the midst of what might feel like chaos.
___
Holiday season stress is real. Still, never give it the permission or power to throw your relationship off. Put you and your man first and let the holidays be what they are gonna be, chile.
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Using the same material from the interior of the Volvo EX90, Hudson crafted a wool-blend car coat and waistbelt that combine the vehicle’s Scandinavian design with his signature tailoring and intention. The exclusive collection launched on October 20, and each piece is made-to-order by Sergio Hudson Collections.
Courtesy
In October, I traveled to Charleston with a group of journalists to get a firsthand look at Hudson and Volvo’s location. During a fitting, Hudson said his goal is to make “great work that can stand the test of time.”
“People can look back on and say, ‘I remember when Sergio did that collaboration with Volvo,’” he continued. “Thinking about aligning yourself with classic brands that speak to where you want to go. And I think that's what this collaboration kind of means to me and my business.”
Hudson pinpoints his mom as the biggest influence for his designs. This collaboration was no different.
“This particular coat reminded me of the swing coats that my mom used to wear in the early 90s. You know, diva girls in the early 90s had Sandra suits,” he said, referring to Jackée Harry’s character in 227. “My mom wore those and she would have these matching swing coats to go over them. And that's where the initial idea came. This would be around the same time that we had our Volvo. So she would put on her suit, her swing coat, get in that red Volvo, and go to church.”
Courtesy
With this capsule and beyond, Hudson wants to see more staples rotating in and out of closets this fall. He advises fashionistas to build her closet out with essentials to mix and match that aren’t just stylish but also sustainable.
“It's just those special pieces,” he said. “You can wear the same shirt and pants every day and nobody will notice. But if you have a special boot, a special coat, a special bill, a special bag, that kind of speaks to everything that your style stands about, that is something you should focus on.”
These are the same kind of staple pieces that return to our Pinterest boards and TikTok feeds season after season. Fast fashion has never been Hudson’s aim. “I'm trying to create a special pieces that can stand the test of time,” he said in his warm, Southern accent. “I'm only creating those kind of pieces from here on out.”
Courtesy
For Hudson, this collaboration is revolutionary. It’s his first time working with a car company and experimenting outside of his wheelhouse in this way.
“This is a Scandinavian brand, and, you know, it's 70 years old. I'm an African-American boy from South Carolina that has had a brand for 10 years. So I think bridging those two worlds and seeing the similarities was the beauty of this project,” he explained.
Though Hudson and his partner and CEO of Sergio Hudson Collections Inga Beckham have made massive strides in just 10 years, Hudson said the industry is far from where he wants to see it when it comes to Black representation. He pointed to how few Black designers were at this year’s Met Gala despite the theme being Black dandyism.
“The fact that I dressed 18 people speaks to how many of us weren't there,” he said. He implored more of industries, fashion and beyond, to collaborate with Black designers often.
“Allow mentorship. Allow funding. Allow great design to shine through,” he implored. “When it comes to being a designer of African descent, when you can't get the funding that your counterparts have, you can't compete. When you get opportunities like doing a collaboration with Volvo, or you get opportunities to be at the Met Gala, that's putting us on the equal playing field, but really the funding behind it is what we need to take it to that desk level.”
Featured image courtesy