So often, we block our own blessings because we're too afraid to be uncomfortable, but Taylor S. Hunter, freelance photographer to the stars wants you to know that the key to success may be waiting for you right outside of your comfort zone.
Just one year ago, Atlanta-based, Marksville,LA-born business owner, Taylor left both her job and her hometown to invest in her dream of becoming a visual artist and since taking that leap of faith, our good sis has been consistently booked and busy shooting some of the biggest celebrities in the game.
Securing gigs with ESSENCE and Black Girl In Om, as well as having her work featured in Vogue, Taylor has worked hard to design a career that allows her to do what she loves and collect her coin at the same damn time. The 26-year-old full-time freelance photographer told xoNecole although her journey hasn't always gone as planned, her vision has always been clear. "I always had this goal in mind to try living out of the state of Louisiana. I love home. I love my family. I'm an only child so it's really just me and them, you know? But I just had that goal in mind."
Little did she know, stepping outside of her comfort zone and following her inner calling to pursue photography as a career would trigger a series of events that'd help Taylor do exactly that...
Planting Her Seeds
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In 2018, Taylor attended her first ESSENCE Fest. The budding photographer brought her camera around to capture photos throughout the event for fun. While there, she saw a plethora of events being hosted and decided to start signing up to attend them. "I went to the Black Girl In Om brunch in New Orleans and it ended up being a very intimate bunch of maybe about 15 women. So as I was there, I just started networking," Taylor shared.
Although the visionary considers herself an introverted business owner, she learned early-on that closed mouths don't get fed, and shy freelancers rarely get booked. "The thing about being an introvert is that you can learn the right skill sets to help yourself move past that fear, you know? I think we live in a very extrovert-dominant world. And when you don't fit that part, you kind of feel like, where do I flow in all of this?"
Like many creatives, Taylor is a sister in the imposter syndrome struggle, but according to her, the secret to eliminating self-doubt is showing up for yourself… Every. Damn. Time. She continued, "I've learned to really feel confident in telling people what I [do]. I realized that the more confident that I am in my abilities, the more that attracts the right people. And it helps me find the people that I'm looking for."
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"The more confident that I am in my abilities, the more that attracts the right people. And it helps me find the people that I'm looking for."
"I started talking about my work," she shared. "I had just gone natural and cut my hair. It was just a really big time for me to just step out on faith and just to be really courageous in what I do. So, I mingled with some members of the [Black Girl In Om] team and you know, I just told them about my work as a photographer and kind of planted my seed honestly without realizing it."
For Taylor, networking is a practice rooted in genuine interest and intention. She seeks to establish true bonds and not relationships forged by opportunistic desires, and her time at ESSENCE Fest that summer was no different. Although Taylor and the team would part ways at that time, the stars would eventually align so that it wouldn't be their last encounter. "We followed each other on Instagram and throughout that, I would just continue to share the work and to be a fan, you know, and I just continued to support the whole brand itself."
Managing Her Growth
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Taylor's business journey started the way most millennial entrepreneurial success stories do: in the DMs.
One year later, Taylor was contacted by ESSENCE to be one of two photographers for their Fashion Editorial Department. She also reconnected with Lauren Ash of Black Girl In Om and photographed her during her weekend there. Talk about a full circle moment. Only a year before, Taylor was taking photographs and attending events for fun at ESSENCE and now she was working the event -- her dreams were literally coming to life. She told xoNecole, "Manifestation is real. When you tap into that magic, it's just really incredible. It's really about visualizing yourself manifesting that dream because as soon as you believe in yourself and believe that it can happen, it really can happen."
"Manifestation is real. When you tap into that magic, it's just really incredible. It's really about visualizing yourself manifesting that dream because as soon as you believe in yourself and believe that it can happen, it really can happen."
In 2019, Taylor ultimately made the decision to leave her job as a non-profit project manager and pursue her freelance career full-time in Atlanta, where she would later develop her brand and continue to link with industry giants like ESSENCE and even shoot the Tyler Perry Studios Red Carpet Premiere, but she didn't pull off this major act of manifestation without getting her business plan all the way in alignment.
Serendipity is real, sis, and Taylor wants you to stay ready so that when the right opportunity arises, you won't have to get ready. For up-and-coming photographers who want to turn their passion into a career, she suggested, "Shoot as much as you can and get as much quality work out there as possible. It's not about posting everything that you do, it's about posting the quality work and making it so that brands and customers see the value of working with you."
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Freelancing isn't for the faint of heart but for Taylor, an effective morning routine is one of the things that helps her keep her mental in tact. From a 4-5-minute weekday meditation to a devotional by Iyanla Vanzant, feeding her spirit daily is a powerful element in her life. According to Taylor, intention-setting is important for each and every month. When she sets a goal, creating systems that help build the goals into her life is important to her.
When it comes to productivity, Taylor believes time management is an entrepreneur's best friend. During our chat, Taylor also opened up about how having themed days of the week and automated client responses has kept her workload organized AF. Case in point, Money Mondays involve observing projected income for the week and accessing whether or not to look for more work in the week ahead, while Tuesday's theme is marketing and copy.
"I figure out what I'm going to write about on my website and my Instagram," she explained. "I've found that when you're consistent, you can definitely see the results. I used to post sporadically on Instagram, but now that I'm focusing in on a specific audience and reaching a specific group of women, it's been really important for me to take the time to devote to what I put on my Instagram. I'm trying to be a lot more intentional about what I put out."
She dedicates the last day of the workweek to photo design, editing, and learning because every entrepreneur should be a student. "Learning is self-care for me because personal development for me is, really important I feel like as humans we can tap into so much more potential just by learning more and more."
"Learning is self-care for me because personal development for me is, really important I feel like as humans we can tap into so much more potential just by learning more and more."
Reaping Her Coins
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Now that Taylor has an established career as a freelance photographer in Atlanta making a living strictly from the art, she can confirm that the leap of faith she took to leave her both her hometown and her job was definitely a step in the right direction.
Although Taylor's journey to entrepreneurial freedom hasn't been easy, it has certainly been worth it, and she had this advice for freelancers on the come-up, "One thing that's really important for me, and I feel like for any entrepreneurs, [is] to try to find ways to build more than one stream of income. That's what I'm working on right now is just figuring what other ways can I continue to make income."
Along with creating multiple streams of income, Taylor emphasized that leveling up your negotiation game can give you a major boost when it comes to securing a bag. She explained, "Learning different skill sets, like negotiating contracts, finding a lawyer, finding an accountant, all of that is extremely, extremely important. It's going to help when you do approach these brands and these companies that have all of these rules. It's going to help you understand that you can ask for something different than what they're telling you."
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"Learning different skillsets, like negotiating contracts, finding a lawyer, finding an accountant, all of that is extremely, extremely important. And then it's going to help when you do approach these brands and these companies that have all of these rules. It's going to help you understand that you can ask for something different than what they're telling you."
"I think when you freelance, you get so caught up in, OK, I'm just trying to grind and make the money that, anything you get, you're so grateful for, but then you look at a contract, and you're like, 'I don't know if this really benefits me.' All of that needs to be so thought-out," Taylor explained. "I think for a lot of creatives, it's hard to think that far—you're like, I just want to take pictures, I just love creating art. But what's really going to help you excel is when you know how to talk that talk on that business side."
For more Taylor, follow her on Instagram @GoldenTimeTay!
Taylor's Freelance Photography Arsenal:
Gear:
Favorite Camera: Canon 5D Mark III
Favorite Lens: 35mm
Essential Lenses: 30mm lens, 50mm lens (great for portraits and photographers starting out), 24-70mm lens (great for shooting events)
Just In Case: An External Flash
Admin:
Featured image by Terrence Porter.
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When I asked a few women I know if they ever tried that before, I was surprised to discover that not only had they, but many didn’t treat it as some random social media fad — they actually still do it to this day. Partly, because it’s fun to them and partly because their partner(s) seem to go crazy for it.
Listen, any time something sexual works like a charm, I’m going to shout it out — (late) trend or not. And so, if you’ve never heard of the whole coconut thing, you tried it and forgot all about it, or you just want to try something new/different/else tonight — here’s a reminder, in article form, that coconut-ting is still alive and well, y’all. And the men are all about it!
But First, The Grapefruit Technique
Video Credit: Myem/YouTube (Funny part starts at 2:40)
If this woman is not familiar to you on sight, you ain’t a real one. LOL. Although I know that a lot of people think that the concept of grapefruiting came from the movie Girls Trip (you can see the clip from the film here) that absolutely is not the case. Auntie Angel (whose real name is reportedly Denise Walker) is the creator of the Grapefruit Technique and although I thought that this video came out way earlier, apparently it made its way onto the YouTube streets sometime back in 2014.
If for some reason, you’re not familiar with grapefruiting on any level, I will tell you right now that I had to download this video because it is absolutely NSFW — so you should probably watch it on your lunch break (on your phone with the volume as low as possible) or at home…because chile, the sound effects? Whew, the sound effects. LOL. However, when I sat down to pen this piece, I thought it was hilarious that this video is what immediately came to mind because it seems like, when it comes to “blow his mind sex hacks,” fruit is constantly on the menu.
When it comes to oral sex, it’s grapefruit.
When it comes to ride ‘em cowgirl, it’s a coconut.
What Is the “Coconut” Sex Trend?
@windy_moraba #duet with @mysteri0us.gir1 spell coconut with your waist 😂😂😂
Okay, so what in the world does a coconut have to do with intercourse? Well, for starters, if you and your partner are looking for an all-natural lubricant, coconut oil works well. HOWEVER, do keep in mind that the disclaimer on this is you shouldn’t use it if condoms are in the mix because they can actually cause rubbers to be less effective (silicone lube is a solid bet for condoms, by the way).
There is another way that coconuts are kinda-sorta incorporated when it comes to making sex more pleasurable — and it actually became pretty popular right after COVID lockdown (2021): spelling C-O-C-O-N-U-T with your hips while you’re on top of your partner.
It’s wild how I forgot all about this until a client of mine was telling me how much her husband liked her on top while it wasn’t her favorite thing to do because it felt awkward to her. When I said, “Have you ever heard of spelling ‘coconut’ with your hips before?” — at first, she looked at me like I was crazy and then she busted out laughing: “Girl, no” was her reply.
Hmph. Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it because, as wild as it might sound on the surface, the word isn’t the point so much as the movements that come with spelling it out are.
When you’re moving your pelvis around to make a “c,” “o” or U-turn, not only does it intensify the level of sensation that both you and your partner feel during intercourse, it can also increase the level of blood circulation to both of your genitalia which can make your orgasms more satisfying too.
At the end of the day, spelling “coconut” is simply reminding you that there are more options to riding than simply sitting there while your partner pumps for all he’s worth or you humping up and down like you’re on a pogo stick.
Spelling “coconut” is an easy hack to bring some variety into cowgirling. However…
Honestly, the “Fruit” Isn’t the Point. THIS IS.
GiphyFrom grapefruiting and spelling “coconut” to reading articles that I’ve penned for the platform like “How To Improve The Taste Of Sperm” — fruit and sex are always going to be a winning combination, one way or another. However, the main point of this article isn’t about making sure that you are a master speller so much as providing you with tips that will make the cowgirl position something that you are confident about and you find a ton of fulfillment in doing.
You can make both of these things happen by incorporating the following things:
Stretch beforehand. A charley horse during sex is the worst thing ever — and chile, don’t let it be right before you’re about to climax. SMDH. Yeah, if you want to feel more comfortable when you’re on top, make sure that you stretch beforehand and that you are well-hydrated. That will reduce the chances of experiencing a totally-out-of-nowhere muscle spasm — whether you decide to “spell” during sex or…not.
Bring pillows into the mix. Sometimes riding is a challenge because your partner feels farther away from your body than you would like. Putting a pillow underneath him can help to elevate his pelvis, so that you don’t feel like you’re stretching and straining. Speaking of pillows, a longer one can really come in handy because it can give your knees some additional support as well.
Also, ask him to put his knees up. Speaking of making the “grind” easier for you, ask your partner to put his knees up. That way, your back can recline on his legs as you’re moving your hips around. You’d be amazed how much this one hack can do for you. Straight up.
Add lube. When you get a chance, check out “The Wetter, The Better: 10 Creative Ways To Use Lubricant” and you will automatically see why bringing lubrication into a cowgirl session is an absolute must. It reduces friction. It makes your movements glide with ease. And it’s just more fun. Promise you that.
Lean in. If your partner happens to be on the larger side of life, one way that you can control his depth is by leaning forward into him. That way, your hips can better control how much or little he is inside of you, so that you can get into a position that gives you the sensation that you are looking for.
Get him to multitask. Again, whether you are spelling “coconut” or not and whether you are riding cowgirl or reverse cowgirl — something that is awesome about being on top is it frees your partner’s hands to do, umm, other things. And since it is so much easier to have an orgasm while your clitoris is being stimulated, get your partner to put some of the lube that we discussed earlier on his fingertips, so that he can gently rub on your clitoris while you are riding him. It doesn’t get much better than that!
Don’t wanna spell? Hula Hoop then. What if you try the whole coconut thing and it’s not a favorite for you (or him)? No problem — when’s the last time that you hula hooped? Pretend that you have one of those around your hips and move around that way. I’d be shocked if you ended up feeling “meh” about that option.
5 Guys Tell Me What They Love When Their Partner Is on Top
GiphyA part of the reason why I am “team cowgirl” is because it provides a lot of benefits to the woman: she has more control, it tends to be more comfortable for her, it’s a great position for a quickie and the orgasms tend to be that much more — wonderful. However, as I was thinking about spelling coconut, in general, I couldn’t help but wonder what guys thought about it and the cowgirl position overall.
If you’re curious, here’s what five of ‘em said.
1. Braxford. Engaged. 35. “Y’all be spelling up there? Who knew? My favorite thing about when my fiancée is on top is what I think every man likes: the view. It’s a chance to see her entire body and experience it at the same time. Not even doggy style accomplishes that. Damn, where’s my lady at?”
2. Denez. Single. 42. “Do you know how many ‘spots’ you have access to when y’all are on top? Breasts are in my mouth. Hickeys are on her neck. Prop my head up on a pillow and her tummy is getting licked. When a woman is riding you, it’s sensory overload! It’s crazy how each one looks amazing in that position too.”
3. Omar. In a Serious Relationship. 29. “[He said her name yet I’m not going to share it] isn’t a very vocal lover. Her body and technique are insane, so even though I love dirty talk, I’ve learned to compromise — except when she’s on top. She’s not saying much but those moans? And yeah, we tried the coconut thing. ‘Cs’ and ‘Os,’ hell yeah. ‘Ns’ and “Ts’? Nah.”
4. Nolen. Single. 45. “45 isn’t old but it’s old enough for your back to show out on you when you least expect it. My experience has been that women don’t want a lot of thrusting when they are on top, so it’s like having some of the best sex without having to do much at all. Well, aside from trying not to bust too quickly. I take that back: riding is easy on the body; it’s work on the brain.”
5. Ivan. Married. 37. “I like the spelling sh-t because it switches things up. We make a game out of it by her picking a word and spelling out while I try and guess what it is. We also try to see how many words that we can get to before one of us cums. 12 words is pushing it unless it’s like ‘dog’ or ‘cat’ or something. I’ve guessed ‘coconut’ a few times and I get what the excitement is all about. Spelling bee sex: try it.”
Yep. I concur.
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Featured image by Giphy