In xoNecole's Finding Balance, we profile boss women making boss moves in the world and in their respective industries. We talk to them about their business, and most of all, what they do to find balance in their busy lives.
As the leading actress in Tyler Perry's Sistas on BET as Andi Barnes, and shooting back-to-back with Omar Epps and Nia Long in Netflix's Fatal Affair, K.J. Smith has put in the work to solidify herself as one to watch in the acting sphere. Born Khaneshia JaNea Smith, the Florida native is best known for her breakthrough role in Ava DuVernay and Oprah Winfrey's trailblazing drama series Queen Sugar as Lena Evans.
There's no doubt the starlet has a lot on her plate. "I am a busy woman. Now, if I made excuses, I wouldn't have time for self-care," she told xoNecole exclusively.
"I feel like one's cup must be full for one to perform effectively and efficiently, at anything one does. If you want to continue to thrive as a professional, caring, loving woman in society, you have to make time."
For this installment of "Finding Balance", xoNecole caught up with K.J. Smith about her faith in God when she needs reassurance, admittedly being a workaholic, and why detoxing isn't the best for her digestive system.
xoNecole: At what point in your life did you understand the importance of pressing pause and finding balance in both your personal and professional life?
K.J. Smith: I think COVID-19 really put everything in perspective for me. I am a workaholic. I enjoy what I do, and I enjoy doing it often, so it never feels like work. When COVID-19 took over, I realized that there were some other areas in my life that I was neglecting. I am trying to be more active by creating balance even when my work life gets hectic.
What is a typical day in your life? If no day is quite the same, give me a rundown of a typical work week and what that might consist of.
A typical workday for me is waking up to text messages from my manager and publicist, followed by emails from production and agents. I roll out of bed and have a cup of delicious coffee, then I sit and meditate for 10 minutes with positive affirmations playing in the background. Next, I stretch for five minutes and do my work-out of choice for 30 minutes, then I'll hop in the shower. I complete a series of interviews via phone or Zoom. I always call and check on my mommy and sister. I work on either projects that I have coming up, or projects that I am currently working on, by studying my lines before physically going to set. Lastly, I unwind by catching up on my favorite binge-worthy shows. I often fall asleep on the couch.
What are your mornings like?
Mornings are incredibly quiet at my house. I like to watch the sunrise and sit in silence sipping coffee.
When you have a busy week, what’s the most hectic part of it?
The most hectic part of a busy week is remembering my calendar and balancing my schedule. It can get confusing remembering what days I must do what. For example, I am on set wearing a blonde wig and the next day I need to rock my natural curls. I am always being mindful of the energy and effort it's going to take to pull those things off from day to day.
Do you practice any types of self-care? What does that look like for you?
I am a self-proclaimed self-care guru. The primary self-care rule for me is boundaries, when you set clear boundaries, one will not have an issue making time for oneself. "No" is my favorite word. I will gladly say it without explanation. I truly believe this is another form of self-care and self-preservation.
"'No' is my favorite word. I will gladly say it without explanation. I truly believe this is another form of self-care and self-preservation."
Collette Bonaparte
How do you find balance with: Friends?
I always set time aside to call or FaceTime with my friends. It's so important to me. I need encouragement from my friends, as do they do from me.
What about health? Do you cook or find yourself eating out?
I cook for myself when I'm at home but I'm usually not at home, so I often eat out. I try to find choices that work for my day instead of trying to stick to a specific diet. If I am going hiking or dancing for eight hours, I give myself grace for what I ate that day.
Do you ever detox?
I don't often detox. I find it disturbs my digestion track because my digestion system is used to a certain routine. If I fast for a certain amount of hours, my body will heal itself, and I prefer that method.
When you are going through a bout of uncertainty, or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
I listen to the voice of God. I silence my mind. I turn off my TV. I turn off my music and I listen.
What do you do when you have a creative block on a project or feel like you have to clear your head before going into a project?
I will journal as my character when I am having a hard time understanding my character's point of view or I feel mentally blocked on a project.
Honestly, what does success and happiness mean to you?
Success and happiness means peace of mind. I feel like you can have all the money in the bank and have all the material things that you want, but if you don't have peace of mind, you can be in hell on earth. So, success means alignment and peace of mind.
For more KJ Smith, follow her on Instagram. Watch BET's Sistason Wednesdays at 9/8c.
Featured Image By Collette Bonaparte
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While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
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The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
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“I’m in constant discovery and learning about myself, about life, about love, about communicating, and I just say discovery is my current era, and to me, the possibilities are endless of what my capacities are,” the “Motivation” singer told xoNecole during an exclusive interview.
A part of that discovery is acknowledging all of the different looks she’s trademarked over the years, whether it’s her classic short red cut or the blonde she’s been known to lean toward recently. She attests a lot of her iconic looks to her bonus mother, Tina Knowles.
“I’m really grateful to Mama T for that because since she owned and worked in a hair salon, she would say, ‘Well, let’s try this. Let’s cut it off. Let’s grow it back. Oh, it’s just hair,’ you know what I mean?” the 43-year-old recalled.
“I’m definitely in that spirit when it comes to hair and glam and just seeing what pops and what doesn’t. I think that there are no rules.”
“For a long time, brown girls were told you can’t do this, you can’t do this, and you shouldn’t do this. It won’t look good on your complexion. That’s not our story. That does not belong to us at all.
"Our possibilities are endless. If anything, we make the trends and we make it look good. We make gem tones look wonderful because of the brown skin that pops off of the gem tone. We make it look wonderful.”
As the mother of two boys, Noah and Titan, Rowland still aims to create tradition through a good meal. She notes how she manages to balance maintaining quality time with her family as a woman who wears many hats.
“One thing that we’re trying to stay on top of right now is one-on-one quality time,” she shared. “I like to do that with my boys. They both get their own afternoon or day with me, so we have these little dates. Noah and I were sitting at this ice cream spot in LA the last time, and we just sat there and talked. It also made me sad because I was like Oh my God, this three-year-old is growing up so fast. I can’t believe he’s even three, and we’re sitting up here and having this whole conversation.”
“One thing that we’re trying to stay on top of right now is one-on-one quality time. I like to do that with my boys. They both get their own afternoon or day with me, so we have these little dates.”
Rowland added, “Then, with Titan, he likes a sushi spot that we go to for hand rolls, and so, we definitely bond over food and over certain outings that we might have. I just like for them to be one-on-one so that we can create our memories together, and they feel seen by me, their mother, and we just enjoy each other’s time. We laugh, and that means a lot to me.”
She is also very intentional in stressing the importance of giving back, something that was instilled in her at a young age by her mother that Rowland is ensuring her sons get a taste of.
“For Christmas, we like to be home, but we also like to give back,” said Rowland.
“Around Christmastime, I want my kids to understand how important it is to give back. So this year, I think we will pile it on because both of them will understand now even more.
"The three-year-old might miss it, but the nine-year-old is definitely starting to catch on. My mom poured that into me about the spirit of giving, and I want my kids to have that same tradition that my mom gave me.”
Today, she continues to give back by pouring into a locally owned eatery that made her, even having a meal named in her honor in a new partnership centered around spreading the love when it comes to patronizing local restaurants nationwide.
This Is It! is one of her childhood favorite Black-owned restaurants in her home city of Houston. During the earlier DC days, she recalled bonding with her bandmates-turned-family members over a delicious plate of soul food at This Is It!, a fourth-generation, family-owned establishment known for its comfort dishes.
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“I love the idea that a huge corporation like Pepsi wants to make sure that in their budget, they’re giving back to communities that have supported them for many years,” she said.
Rowland added, "This Is It! is a place that grew me up and helped me to keep my feet on the ground. This always brings back such fond memories for me.”
In honor of Rowland’s favorite This Is It! meal being named after her, which includes pepper steak with rice and gravy, green beans, peach cobbler, and an ice-cold Pepsi, the “Like This” crooner discussed her recipe for a good time.
“I would say good food,” she laughed. “Not that I need it, but a good Espresso Martini or a French white wine. Sometimes, I might lack energy, so I need a Pepsi to pick me right back up.”
“What else? Good energy. You need good energy. Like, good people with good energy who know how to have a good time. Who aren’t going to look around and see what the other person is doing," Rowland added.
"Because just when people are so good in their body and self-aware and self-assured, they are the funnest people to hang out with because they don’t give a crap about what’s happening around them. They just want to have a good time. I like those people.”
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