Springtime is here, so are budding new relationships. In terms of dating, this can be a source of great happiness and anxiety, at the same time. Navigating the road to exclusivity is one we tend to tread lightly. Unless you're mature enough to have "the talk" to determine whether or not you two are an official couple, lines can become blurred, leaving you to your own devices to conclude your relationship status. You may also be wondering to yourself, if the guy you're seeing is dating other women.
This is not an all-inclusive list, nor should you end a committed relationship if your partner portrays one or two of these signs, however, you should examine your relationship and speak with your partner to gain insight and clarity on whether or not the two of you are exclusive. If you notice any of these signs, they might be indicators that he is seeing someone other than you.
Usually, sudden/drastic changes in behavior can tip you off that something, some dynamic/element has changed, shifted. And while this isn't always the case (because stress is a factor that also causes change), certain things shouldn't be overlooked.
1. Suddenly He's Always Busy.
When you first started dating, you spent lots of time together, now it seems that he barely has time for you. You couldn't get enough of each other, now you've lost count of how many days it's been since you last saw each other in person or spent quality time together.
2. He Puts His Phone Face Down.
Or better yet, he puts it on silent/DND when he's with you. He'll tell you it's because he wants to give you his undivided attention, but if it's a night at home and not a special occasion or night out on the town, then what gives? I remember calling my ex one regular night we were at home together, that's when I found out he was putting it on DND. It's OK, in my opinion, to have a night of uninterrupted QT with your S.O., but if your man is super protective of his cellular at all times, then that could be a red flag.
3. There's A Change In His Pattern.
Let's be honest, most men are creatures of habit, which means that once they get in a routine, they're pretty predictable. If you've been with your guy for a decent amount of time, I'll bet he probably texts you at the same time every morning and you can probably guess what he's having for lunch. But once their daily habits start to change, specifically, their communication patterns, this coud be a cause for concern. If your man starts working later hours or becomes more concerned with how he looks or smells before he goes to work (it's the bottle of cologne in the car for me), then he may indeed be working OT, but in a whole different capacity.
4. You Catch Him In An Obvious Lie.
This may sound obvious but there's more to it than that. Catching someone in a lie is a general rule of disloyalty, but it's not so much that you catch them in a lie but more so about how they react to you addressing them about it. In a previous relationship, I called my guy one evening and he rushed me off the phone claiming that he was at an event with his daughter (you know, because men can always use their kids as an excuse with no rebuttal).
While it must have slipped his mind that he told me two days prior that the two of them had already visited the annual event, had he not reacted in the manner that he did, I might not have second-guessed his excuse. But the fact that he did, gave me a reason to be suspicious.
5. He Is Protective Of His Space.
First things first, there's nothing wrong with being protective of a space that you maintain and pay the bills in. But when you're in a committed relationship with a man, the least you should be able to leave at his house is a toothbrush and a few self-care items. I'm not suggesting you stock the man's bathroom with feminine hygiene products, but maybe a few essential items on a shelf. If you want to try this theory out, I suggest you try and subtly leave behind a piece of jewelry or toiletry at his home. This could also apply to household gifts you give him, such as a framed picture or sentimental item you make for him. If it's there upon your return, then you may have a keeper. This theory isn't foolproof, though. However, typically, if you can "leave your mark" behind, it means either he didn't notice or no one else has been there to notice it, either.
There's a popular saying of "where there is smoke, there is a fire." Although these indicators are not absolute in predicting an unfaithful mate, they are tell-tale signs that warrant caution. I want to be clear that these rules are intended to be put in place for couples who are committed and exclusive, rather than just dating.
Dating, in my opinion, is intended for the purpose of getting to know people and who may be a good match for you. But no one wants to waste time with a man who is clearly still entertaining other women. And that's on Mary had a little lamb.
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