

The end of the year brings about a peculiar dilemma: whether to rest or “go hard” before January 1 hits.
It’s easy to feel conflicted with the notion that every year has to be ended on a “strong” note. However, when we look at the winter season as a whole, it represents a time when nature and humans slow down, embrace ease, and hide away from all the hustle and bustle of the outside world.
Winter, in particular, is a time to hibernate and draw inward — with freezing temperatures and holidays leisure time all providing us a reason to stay indoors. So, when it comes to hitting the reset button before the new year, it’s all about listening to the rhythm of the season and detaching from external influences that push grinding into the new year. And seasonal living is showing us how to do it.
What Is Seasonal Living?
Living seasonally is the practice of adapting one's lifestyle and activities in harmony with the changing seasons. This approach recognizes and embraces the natural cycles of the Earth, acknowledging that each season brings its own unique characteristics, opportunities, and challenges.
The beauty in seasonal living is how it fosters a deeper connection to the natural world and encourages us to be more attuned to the cycles of the seasons.
We can appreciate how the flowers bloom in spring, the way summer brings us warmth, how autumn is a time for harvest, and the way winter calls for restful hibernation, but we can’t have one without the other. So when winter comes, it’s natural to feel the urge to do less and power down in accordance with the time of year.
Embracing Seasonal Living In Your Lifestyle
Because every season offers something unique, embracing seasonal living can also mean adjusting one's activities, hobbies, plans, and even dietary choices based on the time of year. For instance, summer tends to be a time of eating light, with crisp salads, market fresh seafood, and vibrant cocktails, while our winter cravings typically lean on the side of being hearty, warm to the touch, and nutrient-rich diet to keep us fuller for longer.
The same can be said for how we adjust our lifestyle and daily habits. The wintertime is the perfect setting to reflect and plan. As the year comes to a close, it naturally brings up a desire to look back on our goals, and the transition from one season to the next can be a time to assess goals, make plans for the future, and appreciate the progress made.
While it’s reasonable to want to punch out a few last-minute goals from your vision board, it’s also okay to celebrate all that you have achieved and mark the rest down for top priorities to hit in the new year.
The wintertime is the perfect setting to reflect and plan.
lisegagne/Getty Images
How To Power Down For The Season:
Less Doing, More Planning.
If you didn’t hit every goal you had for the year this time around, that’s okay. All this means is that you’ve already got a headstart on what goals you’d like to tackle for next year. Living seasonally encourages mindfulness and an awareness of the present moment, so it’s less about taking more action, and more about reflecting on what actions you’d like to take in the coming year. Journal, make your vision board, and express gratitude for all that you’ve achieved this year. If no one’s told you already: girl, you did that!
Unplug.
If there’s one thing we call sharing at this point in the year, it's collective exhaustion. We’re tired, burned out, and simply want to turn our brains off for the foreseeable future. And if that’s you, give yourself the permission to do just that. Unplugging is a simple way to turn the dial down on outside noise and take your eyes off what everyone else is doing, and return them back to all the beauty in your life.
Embrace Small Gatherings.
While it may not be the best to be “outside” and partying like it's summertime, a small gathering with friends and close loved ones can be the perfect antidote to beating those winter blues. The wintertime can be a lonely time of year if you’re living alone or away from family during the holidays, but you can always lean on your immediate community of friends to create a sense of connection during this time.
Sleep A Little More.
Let’s be honest, daylight savings time has us all a little disoriented. But since we can’t fix it, we might as well embrace it. This is the time of year when listening to your body is the best way to take care of it, so if you’re feeling more tired and ready for bed at an earlier time, go for it. Take advantage of the extra hours of darkness and push your bedtime an hour or two; it could play to your benefit.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by lisegagne/Getty Images
Aley Arion is a writer and digital storyteller from the South, currently living in sunny Los Angeles. Her site, yagirlaley.com, serves as a digital diary to document personal essays, cultural commentary, and her insights into the Black Millennial experience. Follow her at @yagirlaley on all platforms!
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
Does hearing the phrase, “you’re such a good girl,” during sex turn you on? If so, you might have a “praise kink.” When I hear the term praise kink, the church girl in me wants to immediately play “The Lady, Her Lover and Lord” while riding reverse cowgirl. But that’s not what is meant by the term praise kink.
A “praise kink” is a sexual fetish that focuses on overt praise, exaggerated compliments, and an outpouring of verbal affection.
What Is a Praise Kink?
The concept of praise kinks isn't new, but thanks to TikTok, a lot of people are now realizing they might identify as praise kinksters. Currently, the hashtag #praisek1nk is trending with 568.9 million views, with tons of creators posting about their love for compliments and words of affirmation during sex. I, too, love a good compliment during sex. I once had a lover sing my praises about how good I was at a certain bedroom activity. His affirmations gave me WAP, but does that categorize me as having a praise kink?
How To Know if You Have a Praise Kink
Just because you love receiving praise doesn’t mean you have a praise kink. Someone with a praise kink experiences an intense level of sexual excitement from being praised or verbally affirmed by their partner during sex. You might have a praise kink if hearing your partner tell you how pretty you are makes you cum or if the thing that makes sex go from good to great is hearing your partner's thoughts about how good you are at giving head. And if, during solo play, the thing that gets you all hot and bothered is recalling the times your partner called you a good girl, it’s probably a praise kink.
Generally, a kink is a sexual activity that is needed for someone to enjoy sex. When it comes specifically to praise kinks, if you need reassurance from your partner that you're sexy, or good in bed in order to orgasm, you have a praise kink.
filadendron/Getty Images
Examples of Praise Kink Phrases To Try With Your Partner
If you’re new to the term and looking to explore, you probably have questions about what phrases to use. It may take a lot of communication and some trial and error to figure out what phrases work best for you and your partner. Ultimately, the best phrases to use vary from person to person and are based on what sex acts you and your partner enjoy, or what parts of their body they like complimented.
To get you started, here are some generic praise kink examples to try out with your partner:
Praise Kink Examples:
- You're such a good girl/boy.
- You're so good at [insert skill].
- You look so hot when you [insert activity].
- Your [insert body part] is irresistible.
- You taste so good. I can't get enough of you.
- You just have the perfect [body part].
- Just like that… you’re doing so good.
- Who taught you how to be so good at [something?]
While many examples of praise kink involve specific verbal affirmations, praise can also come in the form of brief words or phrases like “yes,” “keep going,” or simply a moan. No matter what type you prefer, praise kink is all about finding what feels good and exciting, and turns you and your partner on the most.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by rocketclips/Getty Images
Originally published on November 4, 2022