The fall and winter months are seasons that show a lot of promise. As the days gradually shorten and temperatures drop, it’s a time that offers space for fellowship and connection in spite of the noticeable gloominess. Still, it’s hard not to notice the profound impact that the lack of daylight can have on our daily routines, even down to our mood.
You know that feeling that comes as the weather and daylight shifts that makes you just want to hibernate until spring? Well, surprisingly enough, it’s quite natural to start feeling a bit down as the colder months roll in. The decrease in light exposure triggers changes in our biological clocks that can lead to disruptions in sleep patterns, affecting the production of mood-regulating hormones like serotonin and melatonin.
For many, the dwindling sunlight in fall can result in what’s known as “winter blues” or Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) that can cast a cloud over this otherwise vibrant season.
What Is Seasonal Depression?
Seasonal Affective Disorder is a form of depression also known as “seasonal depression or winter depression.” Those with SAD can see changes in their mood and symptoms that are similar to depression and tend to show symptoms during the fall and winter months due to the lack of sunlight.
“Individuals with SAD might experience more intense sadness and social withdrawal during periods of time in the fall and winter months,” Dr. Chanda Reynolds, Licensed Clinical Psychologist and host of the Paging Dr. Chanda podcast, tells xoNecole.
“Since other types of depression are a bit more pervasive, and the symptoms are more consistent across seasons, it's not as impacted by that seasonal piece, whereas SAD is.”
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Recognizing the Common Symptoms of SAD
SAD is predictable in its nature as it typically arrives and departs with the changing seasons — from late fall to early spring. And while the signs of SAD run parallel to those of other types of depression, one tell-tale sign that you might be experiencing SAD is when the dip in your overall mood and mental health shifts.
“If you’re feeling sad more days than not, experiencing changes in your appetite and sleep patterns. Showing symptoms of fatigue — like always feeling exhausted no matter how much rest you get — or having a loss of interests and things that you once found pleasurable,” Dr. Chanda says. “These are all things that one might experience with major depressive disorder, but it's different if it’s more within those fall and winter months.”
Light Therapy for Managing SAD
“One of the things that causes SAD is the lack of light exposure,” Dr. Chanda states. “When we're out in the sun, we're able to absorb the rays from the sun that produce vitamin D, which produce different neurotransmitters in the body that induce happiness; we're then able to feel a steadiness in our mood and joy. But if that's not happening because we're not getting as much sunlight exposure, our mood is going to go down.”
Light therapy is a helpful treatment to alleviate the symptoms of SAD as it exposes you to a bright light that mimics natural sunlight. “You're exposing yourself to light so that you can receive more vitamin D,” she explains. “It's really important for Black people too. Since we're melanated individuals, Black people are less likely to have that vitamin D in our skin that allows us to produce the different neurotransmitters that are needed from the sun when we have exposure to sunlight.”
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Boost Your Mood: Leaning on Community for SAD Relief
If you think you might be dealing with SAD, it’s important to take advantage of the sunlight that you do have in the day and lean on your community in order to beat the winter blues.
“That might mean taking a walk to go get your lunch during the day or waking up earlier and taking a walk outside," Dr. Chanda advises. “Whatever we need to do, take advantage of the sunlight that we have while we have it.”
Asking for help and support can be hard, but as Dr. Chanda says, being open and transparent about your needs can pay off in the end.
“Letting others know about what you need can be so helpful and rewarding to the people around you. Because the fact of the matter is people are reluctant to share when they need support because they feel like other people don't care. But there are people around who care, there are people around who want to know how you're doing and what you're experiencing.”
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The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:
Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
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Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
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