I don't know about you, but English class was always wildly intriguing for me. Some people like Vodka, I get a rise out of good literature. But one day in particular, I remember being particularly frustrated with the poem that was introduced. Although "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost is a widely known piece that is said to be insightful and awesome, my beliefs were quite the contrary. I thought it sucked because it left me more confused than I was before I read it.
Oprah is placing her own spin on this befuddling piece of prose in her new book, and unlike our late homie Robert Frost, she plans to make the path to success clear instead of daunting and confusing. In The Path Made Clear: Discovering Your Life's Direction and Purpose, our favorite rich auntie gives us the blueprint to success and a roadmap to happiness by sharing her personal experiences with fear.
In the book, she also calls on her super-rich friends, like Jay-Z and Ellen Degeneres to share some of the secrets they wish they had on their journey. She wrote:
Flatiron Books
"There is no greater gift you can give or receive than to honor your calling. It's why you were born. And how you become most truly alive."
The most unanswered question in the history of man is probably, "Why are we here?" Passion and purpose are not always mutually exclusive, but using both of these gifts will help you get a little closer to your desired end result. Oprah wants to help you solve this riddle, sis, and she'll do it by using a few life lessons that she's accumulated over the years.
7 Life Lessons Oprah Taught Me About Learning To Live My Best Life
1.To Live Your Best Life, You Must Become Your Best Self
Sometimes we worry so much about everything we have to do and the timeframe in which we have to do it, that we forget who we are. Oprah reminds us that:
"There is no real doing without first being."
In this quest that we're all on called life, our only obligation is to become the highest, truest version of ourselves. You could have a dream to make a million dollars, but do you know yourself? Oprah's new book teaches us that happiness and wealth are easily available to us when we look for those things internally before we seek them out in the world.
2.Fail Forward, F*ck Fear
In the book, Auntie O opened up about the time she was asked to give a Harvard commencement speech, but there was only one problem: she was shook. Although she was at the height of her career and had just launched her network, Oprah proved that even a mogul can struggle with impostor syndrome. While she felt she was making progress, headlines like "Oprah isn't holding her own" stifled her faith and made her doubt her journey. In her book, she explained:
"I had enjoyed a long stretch at the top and was proud to be known as a powerful businesswoman. So when Harvard reached out, all I could think was, 'What can I teach about success when I've stopped succeeding?' And to be frank, I was embarrassed."
Even though her nerves were in shambles, Oprah had to give herself the pep talk we all need every once in a while. Push thru, sis. She continued:
"I found my groove after I realized that you don't need to have gone to Harvard to speak to Harvard graduates."
3.There's No Luck, Only Preparation & Opportunity
I always have to ask myself, "Have you prepared for what you prayed for?" The key to success isn't necessarily abundance. You can have all of the money in the world, but if you haven't put a plan in place, then what good is it? Oprah reminds us to stay ready so we don't have to get ready. After all, a vision without action is only a daydream.
"I don't believe in luck. For me, luck really means preparation meeting the moment of opportunity."
4.What You Focus On Will Grow
What if I told you that you already had everything you need to be successful, would you believe me? Well believe it, sis. We often focus so much on what we don't have, that we forget that we have already been supplied with everything we need to make our dreams come true. Where is your head at, tho? If you only focus on the negative parts of your life, you'll miss out on a lot of the moments that can make you happy. What you focus on will manifest. So do yourself a favor, and kick that negative self-talk to the curb. Oprah explained:
"When you pay attention to what feeds your energy, you move in the direction of the life for which you were intended."
5.Wish It, Dream It, Do It
"For every dream, there is automatically going to be resistance."
Vision without execution is a daydream. Strategy without execution is hallucination. Please know that I'm ministering to myself when I preach this, but sis! At some point, it's time to stop planning and do that sh*t! According to Oprah, for every dream you have, there will be an obstacle put in place to obstruct it. Whether that obstacle is your parents, who don't believe in living out your passion, or your friends, who discourage you due to their own fear. Feel the resistance and do it anyway.
6.The Best Way To Know Your Purpose Is To Serve Others
I heard this in church once, and it touched my spirit. My pastor said, if you're having trouble discovering your purpose, serve. As hardworking women, we take pride in the fruits of our labor. But keep in mind that the fruit isn't meant to be eaten by the tree. Our gifts are symbolic of the very necessary harvest that we have to offer the world every single day. Don't be selfish and keep your God-given fruit all to yourself. In the words of Auntie O:
"Every single moment is an opportunity to be of service to another human being."
7.Secure The Bag. You, You're The Bag. Secure Yourself
"All these years later, I am still keenly aware that I am not my salary."
It's easy for me to say that I am not the amount of money that I make because I am not a billionaire. On the other hand, if I was Oprah, I don't know if I'd feel the same sentiment. Like all of us, I have a tendency to place a value on myself based on how other people perceive my worth. I didn't get that job I applied for, I must be unworthy. I didn't get the raise that I thought I would, so I must not be that good at my job. Take a lesson from our rich auntie and remember that YOU are the bag. Secure yourself. Never get so caught up chasing money that you wind up losing yourself.
Featured image by Joe Seer / Shutterstock.com
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Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Tasha Smith On Why Your Self-Worth Is Your Greatest Asset In Relationships
If the definition of BOOM needed a photo next to it, it better be Tasha Smith’s face.
Tasha Smith, 53, the actress known for her captivating performances and outspoken personality, has become a beloved figure in the entertainment industry. Her portrayal of the fierce and fabulous Angela in the hit movie Why Did I Get Married? is nothing short of iconic.
Beyond her role in the Tyler Perry film, Smith has established herself as a versatile actress with a range of impressive credits to her name. She has consistently delivered powerful performances in both film and television, showcasing her ability to embody complex characters and bring their stories to life.
Off-screen, Smith is equally captivating. She is known for her candid and outspoken nature, never shying away from speaking her truth. Her authenticity and willingness to address important issues have made her a role model for many.
Lucky for us, she brings that authentic energy no matter the occasion. Tasha had us saying “Amen” and “Amen again” while listening to a resurfaced interview with Donni Wiggins on theFully Transparent podcast. There, she talked about starring in Bad Boys: Ride or Die, working with Will Smith and Martin Lawrence, and being a powerhouse.
One commenter shared, “Tasha Smith needs to have her own talk show and or motivational conferences!” and we couldn’t agree more. Keep reading for some gems that stuck with us!
Tasha Smith On Self-Worth and Resilience:
“Don’t let any man burn you out or make you feel bad about yourself. Don’t take 'no' from anybody. Period. I mean it, honey. When things go wrong, don’t stay down for too long. Let the comeback be quick and big, honey. Big. We’re resilient. We are.”
On Understanding Your Value:
“You have to understand your value. Sometimes, when things don’t go right in relationships, we, as women, tend to blame ourselves. But why does that have to be the case? I remember talking to a woman who said her guy cheated on her. I told her, ‘He didn’t think he was good enough for you.’ She looked at me confused, and I said it again, ‘He cheated because he didn’t think he was good enough for you.’ That behavior has nothing to do with you—it’s about him trying to feel better about himself.”
On The Power of Boundaries:
“If we understood our value, we’d have more boundaries, and we wouldn’t accept so much. You know what I mean? Because, honestly, we create bad behavior by what we allow. Women ask, ‘Why does he keep doing that?’ Well, because you keep letting him. The apologies are working, and those apologies come with more demonic ones.”
On Breaking the Cycle of “Sorry”:
“Once you get delivered from one 'sorry,' if you keep the door open, more will come in—stronger and harder to overcome. Before you know it, you’re stuck in that 'sorry' space. If you truly understood your value, you’d be quicker to walk away.”
On Moving Forward with Self-Respect:
“For me, at this point in my life, I’m not spinning the block anymore. You can’t just keep spinning the block. You have to have self-respect, boundaries, and a sense of your own worth. If you don’t value yourself, trust and believe a man won’t value you either.”
Watch the podcast interview in full below:
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Featured image by Paras Griffin/Getty Images