I celebrated my 30th birthday recently. I have not perished into a pillar of salt, so I guess you can say I'm doing pretty well. Society puts so much emphasis on turning the big 3-0 that we forget the gift of aging and the fruitfulness of life. It's time to reframe your focus around a milestone birthday and thinking you have to have everything figured out. You do not have to marginalize your success because it happened after 21, 30, 40, or beyond. Your only job is to take stock of all that you have accomplished despite internal battles, naysayers, and physical discomfort.
The fact that you are still standing is proof of your strength and tenacity.
On my journey through womanhood, I am lucky enough to have learned a few invaluable life lessons. I have thirty years of memories, some great, some good, and others are OK. Each memory has stretched and molded me into the person I am today. Below, I share with you my thoughts on turning thirty and things you should consider.
30 Thoughts on Turning 30: Lessons to Live By
- We have the power to manifest the things we want and desire by focusing on specific goals. The more clear and concise you are, the better.
- Write everything down you want to do, even if you are not brave enough to say them out loud.
- You do not have to be loud to be seen by others, but you need to show up and do the work.
- Everything on your mind does not have to be shared or tweeted.
- Being a strong woman is not a badge of honor, and you are allowed to ask for help and accept it. Even Wonder Woman had the Justice League to support her.
- Some of your biggest heartbreaks will not come from romantic relationships but the loss of a friendship. Take the time you need to process what happened and wish them well.
- You are not obligated to stay with anybody who does not see your worth; staying prolongs the inevitable.
- Bad relationships do not dictate the rest of your life. It can, however, showcase a pattern where you are the common denominator.
- Becoming a mother at 21 did not cripple me; it gave me purpose. Whether you had a child before you were ready or not, know there is help for those that ask.
- Creating the life you want to live takes courage to put yourself out there, action to get started, and discipline to follow-through.
- Travel alone at least once in your life. You will make new friends along the way if you are open.
- Parents make mistakes. Forgive them for what they do not know.
- Happy people have green grass - water often.
- Forgiveness is for you, not others.
- Before you can love anyone else, you must love yourself.
- A smile is universal. But you are not obligated to do it.
- Practicing gratitude will help you remember all the good in your life. It will also help you express compassion, build stronger relationships, and improve your mental health.
- Boundaries are a form of self-care.
- No is a complete sentence, period.
- Relinquishing control does not make you weak. Sometimes it can give you the time to focus more on yourself.
- Establish systems to help you excel in life. Part of success is knowing what you are not good at and finding ways around it.
- A good therapist is hard to find. You are allowed to keep looking until you find the right fit.
- Generational curses are no match for the favor you have over your life.
- Women are dynamic. You can twerk, love a mimosa without orange juice, and still handle your business.
- You have to teach people how to treat you. The way you believe you should be treated sets the standard for how others approach you.
- Big girls take accountability for their actions and accept the consequences. When the roles are clear, people are held accountable, and work gets done efficiently and effectively.
- If you have the knees of Meg Thee Stallion, then you are blessed. Do some hot girl shit.
- Think before you speak. Your words hold power.
- It's important to establish a healthy relationship with money. Save money from each paycheck, even if only $20.
- It is always a good idea to celebrate yourself. It does not have to be a special day or your birthday to indulge in the things you like.
Keep glowing, girl.
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